FML Contest Entry
Title: Strawberries and Lace
Pen names: trixietraci & CesyaSlaughter
Characters: Edward & Bella
Disclaimer: We don't own Twilight.
We'd like to thank our beta, 1breezybri, and our pre-reader, D Pattinson, for all their help. This is our first attempt at writing a fic, so please keep that in mind.
Bella Cullen . . . Mrs. Isabella Cullen . . . Mrs. Edward Cullen . . . I seriously need to stop this shit.
This is an appropriate fantasy for any normal high school student – to daydream about their crush – but let's face it – I'm not normal and I'm certainly not a chick. No, what I am is a fucking pussy! I'm a dude – I should be daydreaming about fucking Bella, not marrying her. Christ on a cracker, I can't even get my daydreams right. Damn, I have it bad.
This is what Bella does to me – turns me into a self-conscious, daydreaming, pussy-whipped idiot. And she's not even my girlfriend.
Bella. The name is fitting because the girl is beautiful, with long, dark brown hair, expressive brown eyes, pouty pink lips and an unbelievably sexy body. But there is so much more to her than that – she's also smart, funny, and one of the nicest people I've ever met. Of course every guy at Forks High wants her... no one as much as me though, I'm almost positive of that, but I'm pretty much the only one who's too afraid to tell her. I just can't risk losing our friendship. God knows her boyfriend Jacob isn't shy about expressing how he feels about her, though. It's bad enough he makes her wear his football jersey to school every Friday... He might as well piss on her leg, damn dog that he is. Ugh
I can't believe I've been in love with this girl for two years now. Ever since she showed up in my Biology class halfway through sophomore year, it's been her. We've been pretty close friends from practically the second she sat in the empty seat beside me, but sadly, I've done nothing to show her that I love her and would do anything for her. I mean, I haven't been a complete moron – I do notice things. I always make sure to have a bag of Swedish Fish in my backpack because I know she loves them. I gave her rides home from school after her truck died for the seventy-fifth time. Hell, I'd even bought three versions of the same shirt when she told me she liked it, because that's not a pussy thing to do, right?
We of course, did other things friends do – my favorite being when Bella would take me to the diner for dinner after every home baseball game. She came to every game and cheered me on and just made me feel... special. She always had a kind word to say or a hug to give, no matter if I hit a home run or struck out looking.
She really is a great friend. She puts up with my moodiness and my anal-retentive ways and is always just there for me. In those times when I'm a less than perfect friend, I kind of wonder if maybe she feels something stronger than friendship for me – she never turns me away or gets mad and it blows my mind how compassionate and caring she is. I always talk myself out of those thoughts, though, because there's no way she would want me. The only things I have going for me are my intelligence and the fact that I'm pretty good at baseball. Other than that, I'm a self-proclaimed dork. I read and memorize major-league baseball stats for fun. I know every line to Dumb and Dumber. I couldn't tame my mess of reddish-brown hair if someone paid me to do so, and I damn well know I could kick anyone's ass at Halo.
Guys like me don't get girls like Bella. Guys like me attract either skanks like Lauren Mallory, who's fucked her way through almost the entire male population of Forks High (and probably a few of the females, too), or fellow nerds like Angela Weber, who's a nice girl, but definitely not my type. My type is Bella. Beautiful Bella, with her shiny brown hair that smells like strawberries... See, what did I tell you? Pussy-whipped.
Speaking of strawberries, that scent just got a hell of a lot stronger. My desire for Bella was worse than I thought.
"Hey, Edward." Oh, that beautiful voice. Even in my fantasies she had the voice of an angel.
Please keep talking, beautiful.
"Edward?" God, I loved the way my name fell from her lips.
"Earth to Edward!" I instantly snapped out of my daydream and turned towards the sound of her voice. Staring at me was my beautiful girl. Okay, not my girl, but you know what I mean.
"H- Hey Bella," I stuttered.
"You were pretty deep in thought there, buddy. What's go you so occupied?"
"Baseb-Halo," I blurted out. God I'm an idiot.
She looked confused. "What's basebaylo?"
I chuckled. She sounded so damn cute. "I was thinking about Halo. You know, like thinking of my next point of attack."
"That sounds cool. Maybe you can teach me how to play sometime?"
"Sure!" I said, way too girly. Man the fuck up, Cullen. I cleared my throat. "Yeah, uh, that'd be cool," I tried again, using the manliest-sounding voice I could muster.
"Great! How about today after school? We can work on homework and play Halo?"
"That'd be fine," I said as calmly as possible, even though I was doing an internal happy dance at the prospect of spending the afternoon with Bella in my room. Since she had gotten together with Jacob we hadn't been hanging out as much and I missed that.
Oh shit... Jake. All I needed was that behemoth on my ass for spending more time with his girlfriend. "What about Jake?"
Before she could answer, Mr. Banner started the lesson and cut our conversation short. Fucker. I turned back to look at her and she smiled and mouthed, "I'll tell you later" and that was that.
The class dragged on and due to Mr. Banner's unbearably long and boring lecture, class ran over, which effectively ruined my plans to ask Bella what was going on with her and Jake. We'd both have to rush to get to our next classes on time, and I barely had a chance to tell her to meet me at my car after school before I had to literally run to my Spanish class. Thanks a lot, Banner. Did I mention he was a fucker?
Thankfully, Spanish was my last class of the day and always went by pretty quickly. Except for today. I couldn't stop staring at the clock and all I could think about was Bella – in my room, on my bed... Oh fuck, I'm going to pop a boner in the middle of class if I don't stop this train of thought. Not cool. So, Bella... my room... Crap! I hadn't expected company. Did I leave any underwear lying on the floor? Or worse, any of my "reading materials?" I hoped the hell not. The potential embarrassment was enough to will my cock down, thankfully. I was so lost in my thoughts that for all my impatience, I had actually missed the final bell ringing, signaling the end of the day. Even Senora Goff was already gone when I finally managed to get my shit together and head out to my locker.
As soon as I walked outside the building, I immediately scanned the lot for my car and sure enough, Bella was leaning against the passenger side door waiting for me. I noticed that she had pulled her hair up into a ponytail, revealing her long, slender neck. God, did I love it when she wore her hair up.
Once I reached the car, Bella stood on her tip toes and hugged me. Well hello! I swore I'd never get tired of having her body pressed against mine.
"Wow, that's quite a welcome. Did you miss me?" I teased.
Bella's face flushed and I smiled. "I just had a bad day and I'm happy that we're going to be hanging out tonight."
"Me too, Bella. Wanna talk about it?" I asked as I opened the car door for her.
"Yeah, actually I do, but can we wait until we get to your house? It's kind of a long story." She seemed nervous and it made me want to hug her again.
I held back the urge and walked around to get in the driver's side. "Sure, whatever you want."
I didn't want to push her, but I wondered if her bad day had anything to do with Jake. Call me an insensitive asshat, but I hoped it did. Maybe they had broken up? I knew it was wrong of me to be excited about that possibility, but I couldn't help it. If they had broken up, would I finally be able to grow a set and ask her out? Doubtful.
The car ride home was quiet. A little too quiet if you ask me. I glanced over at Bella and the expression on her face told me she was very nervous about something and very deep in thought. God damnit, Cullen, say something to her already.
"You're beautiful, Bella." Holy shit, did I really just say that out loud? I groaned softly as I squeezed my hands so hard on the steering wheel that my knuckles turned white. Way to go, dipshit – go ahead and scare her off before you even have a chance to find out what's wrong. I mentally berated myself and looked at her out of the corner of my eye to gauge her reaction.
"Hmm?" she breathed, as if she hadn't heard what I said. She really must be deep in thought. Thank God.
"I said your hair looks nice pulled back like that."
"Oh," she turned towards me and blushed, "thank you, Edward." Then she smiled the most beautiful smile ever and I returned it with a crooked one of my own. At that moment, she looked so good and smelled so fucking yummy that I wanted to lick her like a goddamn lollipop. Yummy? Really? When the fuck did I turn into such a goddamn woman?
We finally arrived at my house and not a moment too soon. I swear I was getting high off her sweet smell and our close proximity and I really didn't know how much longer I could sit next to her in that confined space without dragging her onto my lap. I literally jumped out of the car and ran around to the passenger side so I could open the door for Bella.
"Why Edward, you are such a gentleman," she said as she leaned in to give me a kiss on the cheek and take my arm. I didn't know if it was just wishful thinking on my part, but something seemed different about the way she was acting today. She seemed almost flirty. Now it was my turn to blush.
Jesus Cullen, please man the fuck up or your dick will seriously shrivel up and invert itself into a pussy.
I cringed while I shook that thought from my head, turned back towards Bella, and smiled at her. "It's all for you," I said with a wink, and again that beautiful blush returned to her face.
I led us into the house and was grateful that neither of my parents were home from work yet. I stopped in the kitchen to grab us some water from the fridge and we then headed up to my room.
"Have a seat wherever and I'll get the game set up," I said as I got the controllers ready.
"Okay," she replied as she settled down on my bed.
"So, do you want to talk about what's going on?" I asked as I turned my TV on.
She looked up at me through her lashes and nodded. "Come sit over here with me, Edward."
I took a seat on the bed with her and waited. "Whenever you're ready, Bella."
"Jacob and I broke up," she sighed.
No fucking way! I had to keep my expression neutral. "Really? What happened?"
She looked thoughtful for a moment and began, "He's just so pushy and he acts like I don't exist when we're out with his friends, but when we're at school he acts like he owns me. I just cannot freaking stand it. He even got mad at me for applying to other colleges besides the ones where he applied. So today before school we had a talk and I told him what was on my mind... and I told him I was done." She sighed again and looked at me, willing me to say something.
I put on what I hoped was a sympathetic face even though I was doing mental cartwheels. "I'm really sorry, Bella," I said as I opened my arms a little to see if she would accept a hug. She shocked the shit out of me when she crawled right over onto my lap, wrapped her arms around my waist, and laid her head on my shoulder. Fuck yeah!
She shrugged. "It's okay, it should have happened a long time ago. There is another reason why I broke up with him, though."
"There is? What is it?" I asked. The next thing I knew, her arms were around my neck and her lips were moving against mine. Oh shit, Bella Swan is kissing me! Get a grip before you jizz your pants, man. I had to think of something, anything besides the obvious, but then her tongue met mine and it was fucking heaven. Being this close to her and smelling that strawberry smell was killing me. I felt myself get hard and I know she did too because she moaned into my mouth. Holy fuck! If that was not the hottest sound I have ever heard from Bella, I don't know what was.
I pulled away to catch my breath and just stared at her and her beautifully swollen lips for a moment until I felt the need to kiss her again. I never wanted to stop kissing her; in fact, I wanted to kiss every inch of her body.
It was her turn to pull away. "Don't you want to know my other reason for breaking up with Jacob?" she asked while staring at her hands that she had moved to rest on my shoulders.
I had totally forgotten about that the second her lips met mine. "Yes," I replied, my mind still delirious from what had just happened.
She got all shy, put her head down, and blushed. "You," she whispered, low enough for me to not be sure I heard her correctly.
Say what now? "Can you repeat that please?" I needed to make sure my ears weren't playing tricks on me.
This time she looked directly into my eyes and took my face in her hands. "You're the reason, Edward. I think I love you. I've had this feeling for a while now but ignored it because I thought it was just because we're best friends. I thought the feelings I had for you were more related to that than anything else. It hasn't been until recently that I started thinking about you a lot more. Like every time I was with Jacob, whether we were hanging out with his friends or even alone at his house, I thought of you and wished it was you I was with instead of him. I know we've been friends for two years now and that it might be a bit awkward... but I want you, Edward. I want to be your girl. I know it's meant to be, I felt it when I kissed you. I never had that feeling when I kissed Jacob – ever."
I was in fucking shock. She wanted me, not that dog. The goofiest grin spread across my face as I kissed her again with everything I had. I pulled away and looked at her. "Bella, I love you too. I have since that first day in Biology but I never had the balls to make a move on you and I regret not doing it sooner. I agree it might be a bit weird but don't you think it would have already happened after you kissed me?" I chuckled.
She blushed. "I guess you're right. I just feel drawn to you. I never want you to leave my side Edward, no matter what. If we try out this relationship and it doesn't work, I still want my best friend in my life. But- " she kissed me, "I have no doubt in my mind that it will work; I can feel it. So promise me that you'll never leave me." She said this with such intensity that I could see the love shining in her eyes.
"I'll never break that promise, Bella." I leaned in for another kiss, this one more soft and sweet than the others. This was one promise I knew I'd be able to keep.
We were interrupted by a knock on my door. "Edward honey, are you busy?" my mom called to me.
Bella scrambled off my lap and sat as far away from me as possible. "No, come on in mom."
"Oh, I didn't know you were here Bella. How are you honey?" My mom looked at us suspiciously – I think she knew something was up because Bella never sat that far away from me. Great.
"Hello Esme. My truck is out of commission again so Edward gave me a ride, but other than that, I'm doing great. How are you?"
"I'm doing fine, thank you. I don't mean to cut your visit short, dear, but I have something very important that I need to discuss with Edward," she said as she gave Bella a reassuring smile.
This all seemed very odd to me because my mom always said things in front of Bella, but I didn't bother to worry about it now.
"Not a problem, I should be heading home anyway to start dinner. I'll see you later!"
With that, Bella and I headed out to my car and made the journey back to her house. We held hands throughout the entire drive and the air between us seemed much lighter and more comfortable. I finally had my girl. The thought made me smile.
Before she got out of the car, Bella kissed me and of course, that innocent kiss turned in to a full-blown make out session. What can I say, she had the best lips ever and I couldn't get enough.
"I love you, Edward Cullen," she said while her cheeks flushed.
"I love you too, Bella Swan." I couldn't believe I was finally able to say that out loud. "And I love making you blush."
I walked her to her door and resisted the urge to skip like a five year-old girl back to my car. I was the happiest I had ever been and I never wanted that to change.
As I drove home from Bella's house, all I could do was replay each of our kisses repeatedly in my mind. I had imagined kissing her for two years, and of course actually doing it was a million times better than I could have hoped.
I was still feeling an amazing adrenaline rush as I walked into my house, but it all came to a halt when I approached the living room and saw my mom and dad waiting for me. Why was my dad home this early? This can't be good. I hope no one died or anything. They both looked so serious, but my mom wasn't crying, so I figured whatever they had to tell me couldn't be that bad.
"Edward, you're home. Come sit down, son. Your mother and I have something important we need to discuss with you," my father said from his position on the sofa.
Before he could begin, my mother looked at me with wide eyes. I knew she knew something was up with me; she was so perceptive. "Edward, what's going on with Bella?" she asked.
Ugh, here we go. I did not want to have this conversation with my parents, but I figured if we did it now, I could get away with giving as few details as possible since my dad still had something to discuss afterwards.
"Uh, well, she's kinda my girlfriend as of about two hours ago." I blushed, looked away, and prayed that would be enough to appease her for now.
"Oh my God, Edward! That's wonderful! I've always hoped you two would finally see the light. She's just gorgeous and so polite. I'm so happy for you. You'll have to invite her over for dinner--"
My father interrupted before she could finish. "Esme, dear, we need to discuss something else..."
"Oh, right," Mom said with a visible frown. "I'm sorry, Edward."
I was concerned now. Why was my mother apologizing to me? What in the hell was going on?
"Edward," my father began, "I have some news. I've been contacted by Doctors Without Borders and asked to take on a temporary role as Chief of Internal Medicine at one of their facilities while their current specialist is on sabbatical. We don't know the exact time frame of how long it will be, but it's a wonderful opportunity and with your mother's encouragement, I've decided to accept the position."
Doctors Without Borders... I had heard of the organization before but was under the impression that they mainly operated in third-world countries, not Podunk, Washington.
I was confused. "Um, that's great Dad, but what does it have to do with me?"
My father looked uncomfortable and finally said, "Well, in light of recent revelations, I hate to tell you this... but we'll be moving to Guatemala and we have to leave in two weeks."
What. The. Fuck?!? I was sure he was kidding. Who the fuck packs up their family to move to Guatemala?
"You can't be serious." I didn't have to hear his response to know it was true; the looks on his and my mother's faces said it all.
"I'M NOT GOING!" I roared like a petulant child. "I'll be eighteen soon and I can stay here by myself!" There was no way I was leaving, especially after what I had promised Bella.
I looked back and forth between my parents and they seemed a little taken aback by my reaction. I wondered if they honestly thought I would take it well when they made the decision. Were they fucking crazy?!
"Edward," my father said calmly, "that's not an option. You're still seventeen. You can't stay here unsupervised and I'll need you to stay with your mother while I'm at work."
"You can't make me go!" I argued, wondering how the fuck my amazing day could go straight to hell so quickly. Fuck. My. Life. Seriously.
"I'm so sorry, sweetie," my mom whispered, on the verge of tears. "We had very little time to make the decision, as they needed an answer right away. It really is an amazing opportunity for your father and honestly, I'm sure the time will fly by. You'll have your school work to keep you busy and you'll experience so many new things..." She was trying to be reasonable, but I wasn't having that.
"This is bullshit! I can't believe you would make a decision like this without consulting your own son! You're not only ripping me out of school during my senior year, but you're also ripping me away from Bella literally two hours after I promised her I'd never leave her!" I was furious and felt like I was going to pop a blood vessel from screaming so much.
"Son, please calm down. We don't even know how long it will be for. Maybe we'll be home in a few months."
What-the-fuck-ever. Dad was always trying to rationalize shit, but right now, it just pissed me the fuck off.
"I can't be here right now," I spat out angrily. "I'm going out. Don't wait up."
With that, I stomped out of the house and slammed the door behind me. I raked my hands over my face and grasped the ends of my hair. My head was pounding as I wondered what the fuck I was going to do now. How could I tell Bella?
ShitFuckShit! Why was this happening? I stomped over to my car and yanked the door open so hard I thought I was going to rip it off the hinges. I was fucking pissed, if you couldn't tell. I decided I needed to drive around to clear my head and maybe scream my fucking lungs out before I punched a hole through something.
I don't even remember how long I was driving for or where I even was until I turned the street and saw Bella's house. I guess it was my conscience's way of telling me I should break the news to her now instead of waiting. Shit, this is going to kill her just like it's killing me.
I parked my car, walked up to her door, and rang the bell. Here goes nothing. The minute the door opened, I immediately smelled strawberries and my beautiful girl greeted me.
"Edward!" she yelled before throwing her arms around my neck and kissing me. "Did you miss me that much that you had to come see me again?"
I gave her the best smile I could, considering the circumstance. "You know I did, beautiful. Um, we need to talk about something – actually, we need to talk about what my parents needed to talk to me about."
"Come inside," she said as she ushered me into the living room. "What happened? Is everything okay?"
I looked at her with sad eyes. "No beautiful, it's not. My dad got a call from someone who works for Doctors Without Borders and he was asked to take on a temporary role as Chief of Internal Medicine because one of the specialists they have is currently on sabbatical."
She didn't seem upset by this but I knew it would come once I told her the rest. I could barely choke the words out. "We leave for Guatemala in two weeks."
"Oh, Edward, I'm so sorry that he's leaving. Do you know for how long?" Her hand was on my face and her thumb was grazing my cheekbone, trying to soothe my nerves. "Wait a minute, did you say 'we', as in your dad, your mom and... you?"
I couldn't say anything or even look at her so I just nodded.
She looked stunned. "What? Y-You can't leave me! You promised me you wouldn't leave, Edward. You can't break that promise."
I seriously felt my heart break when I looked at her and saw the tears running down her cheeks. I took her face in my hands and kissed her tears away, and then kissed her lips.
"Please, beautiful, don't cry. I promise to spend every minute with you for the next two weeks. While I'm gone, I promise we will talk every day and you will be the first person I see when I get back here."
"How long will you be gone?"
I wish I fucking knew. "I'm not sure. They never told my dad how long the specialist would be on sabbatical. Bella, we can make this work. I love you."
"I love you too... but I think you should go. I need time to think about everything you just said."
"But-" she silenced me by placing her finger over my lips.
"Please give me time, Edward."
"Okay, if that's what you need." I leaned in to kiss her but she turned her head. Fuck, that really stung.
"I guess I'll be going now."
She didn't even look up at me, she only nodded. I got up from the couch and walked to the front door, but before I walked out, I turned to look at Bella one more time. As if my heart wasn't already broken enough, the expression on her face cracked the final piece. I felt like I was dying inside. How would we get through this?
I walked back out to my car and drove back to my house. I wasn't ready to face my parents so I just sat in the car and cried. I cried because I finally had Bella and I think I lost her in the same day. For the first time in my life, I had no problem admitting I was a pussy.
After a very restless and sleepless night, and an equally shitty first half of the school day, I was beyond eager to see Bella in Physics class. It pained me that I wasn't able to see her all day and I hoped she would be willing to speak to me by now. The possibility of her not wanting me because I was leaving for a while literally made my chest ache. There was no way I could survive the ordeal if I knew that I didn't have her to come back to.
When I got to class, I saw Bella seated at our table. She looked gorgeous, as usual, but utterly depressed at the same time. I had never wanted to hug her so badly in my life, but I restrained myself because I didn't know how she would react. I honestly didn't know if she was mad at me or just mad at the world.
"Hey beautiful," I said quietly as I took my seat next to her.
"Hey," she responded, meeting my gaze with sad eyes.
Seeing her look so broken and upset killed me. I hated my father at that moment for causing this.
I didn't know if she was ready to talk, but I chanced it anyway, seeing as Mr. Banner still hadn't called the class to attention.
"I'm so sorry, Bella. You have to know that if there was any way at all for me to stay, I would. I would do anything to make you happy. I love you."
"I know, Edward, and I'm so sorry for taking this so hard. It's just that it took every ounce of courage I had to actually admit my feelings to you and this seems like a huge slap in the face. Maybe the cosmos are trying to tell us something. I don't know."
I stiffened in my seat, scared shitless at what she had just said. I was not going to let her end us after we had only just begun.
"Please don't think that way, beautiful. I know we can handle this. I've spent the last two years sort of loving you from afar – this will just be a different version of that. I won't physically be with you, but I'll know you're here, actually loving me back."
She looked at me then, showing the first hint of the smile I hadn't seen in what felt like days, but in reality had only been a few hours.
Mr. Banner chose that moment to finally start class and I wanted to choke the fucker. Instead, I tore a sheet of paper from my notebook, wrote a note to Bella, and slid it over.
– Come over after school today? Please?
It only took her a second to respond.
One word – okay. That was enough for me. I breathed a sigh of relief and for the first time in so many lonely hours, I felt hope again.
By the time I got home, Bella was already there sitting on my porch, staring ahead but not really looking at anything in particular. I parked my car and walked up to her.
"Hey." She didn't even look at me – not good. I reached out and touched her shoulder. "Bella?"
"Oh!" she gasped, "Edward, I didn't even know you were there."
"Sorry if I scared you." I nodded my head towards the door, "Come on, let's go inside."
Surprisingly, she grabbed my hand and intertwined her fingers with mine. I felt my stomach do flip-flops as I gave her a smile and watched her blush and hide behind her hair.
"You know, I'm really glad you decided to come over today."
She smiled, "I'm glad too. I really think we need to talk about yesterday."
"Yeah, we do."
We hardly even made it into my room before Bella threw her arms around my neck and pulled me in to a kiss. Fuck yes! God how I missed her lips on mine and it had only been 21 hours since I last felt them – and yes, I kept track of that. I'm such a girl.
She pulled away and I instantly missed her.
"I'm sorry," she said shyly and then looked down. Her hair fell over her beautiful face and I reached out to tuck the strands behind her ear. I lifted her chin so she would look at me.
"Beautiful, don't ever be sorry for kissing me. Do you think we should discuss what happened yesterday? I mean, discuss your feelings towards it?"
"I think that would be a good idea. I did overreact a little bit."
We sat against the headboard on my bed and Bella took my hand in hers and began playing with my fingers.
"So, I know I said I needed time but to be honest, after you left I couldn't stop thinking about how much I wanted you there with me." She began to cry. "How will we get through this?"
I wiped her tears and kissed her lips. "I have a few ideas but I want your opinion on them first."
I had finally talked to my parents this morning and found out that I would actually be able to keep up with my schoolwork because I'd get to do it online. That made me a little less nervous about moving because I didn't want to fall behind and not be able to graduate on time.
"Well, I was thinking we could use our webcams to talk, and of course we could IM and email each other. All my schooling will be done online as well, so I'll be on the computer a lot. I'll stop whatever I'm doing for a chance to talk to you, beautiful."
"That actually doesn't sound too bad," she said with a hopeful smile.
"I'm glad you think so," I replied with a smile of my own.
She then curled into my side and laid her head on my chest. We laid in silence for a couple minutes before Bella looked into my eyes and said, "We're going to be okay Edward, I just know it." And with that, she kissed me. It started innocent enough but most definitely grew into one of passion and want. She straddled my lap and started sucking on my bottom lip. Oh God, does she have any idea what she does to me and my cock?!
This was the second time Bella felt my cock against her but she didn't seem to mind; in fact, she started grinding on me and the friction felt so goddamn good. I had to keep my mind in control so I didn't cum right then and there. That would be fucking embarrassing. Instead of keeping my control, my body betrayed my mind and I pulled her hips closer, helping her with the movements. She moaned into my mouth and tugged at my hair with both hands.
She kept her hands in my hair and a whimper escaped my mouth. She must have liked that, because she immediately tugged some more and grinded on me even faster. Suddenly she took her right hand and slowly ran it down the side of my face, down my chest, and stopped right above the waistband of my jeans. Oh shit, was she really going to touch my dick? I'm going to cum in 3.2 seconds if she does and then she'll laugh at me. Oh my God.
As if on cue, she popped open the button and pulled the zipper down a bit before reaching her hand into my boxers. Oh, fuck. I felt her fingers graze the hair right above my shaft and I had to stop her. I grabbed her hand and pulled it away from my dick. Jesus Christ, Cullen! What the fuck is wrong with you?
Bella pulled away from our kiss, panting but looking embarrassed. "I'm sorry, Edward. I just…I mean…I wanted…Fuck, I'm sorry."
"Beautiful, you did nothing wrong, I swear. It's just that, well, I've never had sex before." If she thought she was embarrassed, imagine how I felt – having to admit I was a virgin. I never thought I'd ever be having this conversation with her – we just didn't talk about sex or relationships, really – and it was just as awkward as I thought it would be.
She looked at me with a shocked expression and asked, "Really?"
"Yes, really," I replied tentatively. I couldn't tell what she was feeling about my admission. Is she surprised? Is she happy? Unhappy? God, I had four hundred questions running through my mind but couldn't seem to form the words to ask any of them.
My mind slowed down when she smiled and said, "Me either. The timing just never felt 'right' when I was with Jake. Remember yesterday when I told you what I felt while kissing you... and how I never felt that when kissing him?" I nodded. "Well, I guess that is also another reason why I never had sex with him. I know now that he wasn't worthy enough for me to give that to him. He was such an asshole and too pushy... I'm so glad I never let it get that far." Wow. My Bella has never had sex either. We could be each others firsts? This was great news! "But why did you stop me? Don't you want me?" she asked timidly.
"That's not it at all, Bella. I'm sure you can feel how much I want you." She blushed and I continued. "It's just that if we have sex now and possibly for the remainder of the next two weeks, my need for you while I'm away will be unbearable and that will make me miss you even more. Does that make sense?"
She thought for a minute and then gave me a smile. "It makes perfect sense. I want our first time to be memorable, but not because we're both worrying about time constraints and you leaving. I want it to be perfect."
I knew I couldn't deny this girl anything. "It will be, I promise," I whispered as I pulled her into a hug.
The remainder of the two weeks flew by and I spent every minute with Bella, as I had promised. How I wished I had two more weeks because I was definitely not ready to leave. She spent the night at my house because she wanted to see me before I left since we were leaving for the airport fairly early in the morning. I don't think I even slept at all that night because I enjoyed watching Bella sleep. She looked like an angel and I definitely knew I could get used to her falling sleep in my arms every night and waking up to her every morning.
Leaving her was the hardest part. I had friends that I would miss, of course, but they didn't mean to me what Bella did. She and I stood outside the limo as our luggage got loaded in the trunk – the rest of what we were taking was already on its way to our new home. We just held each other and stared into the others eyes, neither of us able to say goodbye.
"Edward, honey, we have to leave now," my mom said from inside the limo, snapping us back to reality.
I couldn't even begin to tell her everything that was in my heart. "I love you, Bella, and I will email you the minute I get settled and everything is set up."
"I love you too, Edward – always. Come back to me soon," she said through her tears that had begun to fall.
I took her face in my hands and wiped the tears as best I could. I then kissed her forehead, nose, both cheeks, and finally her lips. How I would miss kissing those lips and smelling the wonderful strawberry scent that was all Bella.
I got in the limo, shut the door and rolled the window down so I could stick my head out. Bella ran over, kissed me again, and whispered "I love you" while backing away. As we drove off, I yelled out to her, "Look after my heart. I've left it with you."
She brought her hand to her mouth, kissed her fingers, and placed it over her heart. I'm really going to fucking miss her.
The first few days in Guatemala were terrible. I'd only been able to email Bella once to let her know we had arrived safely and it was driving me crazy not being able to talk to her. There wasn't much to do here, especially since I wasn't allowed to leave the gated community where all the volunteers and their families lived. I'd basically spent all of my time either sleeping, playing video games, or playing basketball with whoever was around the court outside.
It felt like it had taken forever, so when our internet connection was finally up and running, I was ecstatic. I felt a little embarrassed about being so excited over that when there was so much poverty and violence right in front of me but all I could think about was finally getting to chat with Bella, and that squashed all those thoughts. Hey, I'm seventeen. I'm entitled to some materialistic tendencies.
Once I was in the Guatemalan groove, as I liked to call it - Bella just thought it sounded like a bad porno - my girl and I video chatted almost every night. It was so good to be able to see her face and hear her voice, even though she was so many miles away. We kept things clean for the most part, but as the weeks turned into months, we were both feeling a little restless... and horny. We had tried to attend to our 'needs' together, but it was awkward and we didn't get far without one of us cracking up laughing. Nevertheless, I had "shaken the Pringle can" so many times after our chats that I was afraid my dick was going to fall off. I often wondered if Bella ever touched herself while thinking of me but I couldn't find the nerve to ask her.
I was sitting in front of my laptop doing schoolwork one day about four months into our ordeal when my father came into my room.
"Edward, I have some news I think you'll be excited to hear." Dare I say even he looked excited?
My ears perked up and I looked at him anxiously. "What is it? Are we going home?" I was practically bouncing in my seat.
"No, not yet, but we will definitely be home in time for you to graduate with your class. I spoke with my supervisor today and he informed me that the doctor who I am filling in for will be back within the next month or so."
I knew dad was looking forward to going home almost as much as I was. He didn't talk to me about it, but I could tell that the things he was witnessing everyday were taking a toll on him. He looked so tired and worn out all the time and preferred to stay inside the apartment when he wasn't working in the field.
"Oh my God! That's awesome!" I shouted, unable to contain my enthusiasm. "I can't wait to tell Bella!"
"I know you're excited, Edward, but I don't think you should mention this to Bella just yet. I don't want her or you to be disappointed if things don't go as planned." My dad – always the voice of reason, though I knew he was probably right this time.
He excused himself and I thought about what to do. I knew that if I told her and our trip home was delayed, she'd be devastated, especially since graduation would be such a monumental moment for us. I decided to take my father's advice and not tell Bella. Then I took that a step further and thought that maybe it would be better if I surprised her instead. She would probably kill me for just showing up at graduation without any notice, but I didn't care. The look on her face when she saw me there would be worth suffering whatever wrath she threw at me.
It was hard to keep the news a secret over the next few weeks when Bella and I talked every night about how much we missed each other. I almost let it slip a few times when she was feeling particularly lonely, but I was able to catch myself before the words slid out.
The week before we were scheduled to go back home, I received an email from Bella with a picture of her wearing the outfit she had bought for graduation, and fuck if it wasn't the hottest thing I'd ever seen her wear. It was a sleeveless, dark-blue dress with a v-neck that made her boobs look fantastic... and the shoes – oh my God. They were high and strappy and whatever they were, they made her legs look a mile long. I got hard just looking at the picture, but once I read the message that she attached, I almost fell the fuck over.
This is what I'm wearing to graduation; what do you think? I know you like me in blue, so I bought it with you in mind.
I wish I didn't even have to go to the stupid ceremony because it won't mean anything without you there, sharing it with me... but Charlie & Renee think it's kind of a big deal and won't let me miss it.
I CANNOT wait for you to come home. I might have purchased another ensemble that I most definitely couldn't ask Charlie to take a picture of me wearing. ;)
I love you!
I blinked and reread the message three more times. Fuck. Me.
I was so glad to be home after those five months in Guatemala. I really wanted to see Bella but being that our graduation ceremony started in two hours, I had no doubt in my mind that we would miss it completely if I went to see her now.
I had my mom drop me off at school as early as possible because one, I didn't want Bella to see my car, and two, I wanted to get there before she did so I could surprise her. Okay, so maybe it was a bad idea for my mom to drop me off forty-five minutes early, but I really didn't want her to see me and it gave me time to think.
I took a slow walk around the halls and made one last stop at my locker for old time's sake. I was in a bit of a daze when I checked the time on my phone and saw I still had fifteen minutes to kill before my fellow classmates would start filing in. Luckily, a classroom was unlocked so I went in to sit down to calm my nerves but all I could think about was Bella wearing that blue dress and those strappy shoes. Fuck. I wonder what she bought to wear under that dress. I seriously could not wait to find out.
I finally heard the faint murmur of the seniors as they began to fill the halls. I couldn't wait any longer; I had to go find my girl. The minute I stepped out of the room, I smelled strawberries. God I missed that smell. I scanned the hall searching for her and finally my eyes fell upon her long brown hair that was curled and cascading down her back. Oh... and those strappy shoes were fucking sexy as hell. Maybe she will wear them for me when we have sex. Damnit, Cullen, get control of yourself before everyone sees how happy you are.
I started to walk towards her but saw her stiffen so I paused and watched as she slowly turned in my direction. When our eyes finally met, hers grew wide and a huge grin spread across her face. I couldn't help but smile, she looked so damn cute.
"Edward!" she yelled as she ran towards my open arms and launched herself into them.
"Hello, beautiful," I said into her neck before I gave it a kiss. "Did you miss me?"
She looked into my eyes and rolled hers. "Duh! You know I did!"
She is so fucking adorable. I laughed, "Just making sure."
"I can't believe you're here!"
I couldn't even find words to respond. Instead, I took her face in my hands and kissed her; months of pent-up frustration and longing poured out of me. I felt her smile against my lips and I continued to kiss her hungrily, not giving a fuck who was watching. I fucking loved this girl and I wanted everyone to see that, but I heard Mr. Banner telling everyone to get in line because the procession was starting soon. He was always interrupting our moments... Asshole.
The ceremony was great and Bella looked so beautiful when she went on stage for her diploma. She turned towards the crowd, looked directly at me, and blew me a kiss. She was so fucking cute and she was all mine.
After the ceremony, we all went out to dinner, Bella and her parents included. I have to say, the dinner went really well. Her parents seemed to approve of our relationship so that was a plus, and I think they liked the fact that I would be going to school for Pre-Med. Chief Swan even mentioned how proud he was of me for going along with my parents to Guatemala instead of demanding to stay home with friends. Any type of compliment from the Chief was rare, so I ate that shit up. Way to go, Cullen!
Bella came back to my house after dinner. Surprisingly, my parents left the two of us alone, saying they had made plans to catch up with some colleagues of my dad's. I'm pretty sure my dick did a happy dance upon finding that out and I don't even think we made it to my door before Bella threw herself at me and started kissing me and pulling my hair.
"Hey, beautiful," I said between kisses, "let's get into my room first and then we can continue this where we'll be more comfortable."
I didn't have to tell her twice before she was running for my bed. I casually walked towards her – I had no fucking clue how I could be so calm about this when she was laying on my bed looking so seductive. I knew I needed to keep it together, even though this could be the moment I'd been waiting two and a half years for.
She motioned with her finger for me to come over, immediately pulled me down on top of her, and whispered in my ear, "I want you so bad, Edward; it's all I've been thinking about lately." Oh fuck. Please don't let me ruin this moment by jizzing in my pants. "Would you like to see your graduation present?" I nodded my head and felt like a little kid in a candy store.
She got out from under me, stood up, and ever so slowly started to unzip the back of her dress. My eyes never left her body as the dress slid down her chest, over her stomach, hips, and then finally hit the floor. Oh. My. Fucking. God. She was absolutely stunning and was wearing the hottest blue corset with snaps up the front and the fucking sexiest pair of blue lace panties.
She spun around so I could see every inch of it. "So, what do you think?" I forgot how to speak and just stared like an idiot, drool most likely coming out of the corners of my mouth. She giggled at me. "I guess that means you like it?" I simply nodded again.
She walked back over to me and straddled my lap – and there went my dick. We began making out and she had my shirt off in seconds. Her hands were so fucking soft as they ran over my chest and my stomach. My dick was straining against my pants and I had no doubt in my mind that it was going to rip straight through them to get to Bella.
I was so mentally and physically absorbed in her that I didn't even realize how close her hand had gotten to my dick until I felt it rubbing me through my pants. I was done for and that's when it fucking happened.
"Shit," I muttered in embarrassment.
"What's wrong, Edward? Did I take it too far?"
"Not at all," I managed to squeak out.
"I…um… I kind of just came."
Fuck my life… again.
Our prompt: Today, the girl I've loved for the past two years finally expressed her innermost feelings for me. After a brief make out session, she asked me to "never leave her side". When I got home, my mom told me that my dad got a new job. I'm moving to the other side of the globe in two weeks. FML