Messing With Love

Chapter 1

The day Sakura fell into my game was cloudy and rainy. Of course it was, because, 1, I felt it appropriate, and 2, I, being the God of Love and all, have excellent connections to Whippy and Wevers, the Weather twins. (Of course, they don't know that I spend a great part of our conversations laughing hysterically in my head. Come on, "Whippy" and "Wevers"? Why not something weather-y like Storm or Snowy?)

Oh yes, I should introduce myself. I am Rosa, the Goddess of Love.

No, those silly Greek myths about some conceited bitch named Aphrodite are not true. I, Rosa, am the one and only Goddess of Love.

…And before you ask, Cupid is not my son.

I'm not even married, in fact. I'm not even very interested in love myself. (Although most of the other Gods are pretty hot. Seriously.) Being in charge of other people's love and seeing it screwed up in so many ways every day does that to you. Occasionally I get to go "awwww" over some random sweet happy ending (I get one every few centuries), but usually I'm stuck watching disinterested as the boy acts like a jerk or a girl acts stupid.

My job as the God of Love isn't the typical "make people fall for each other with a snap of my fingers" job. It's more like, "keep an eye on the humans and make sure the idiots don't completely lose the emotion of love forever." Of course, I can do a couple tricks, like, say, if I feel like it I can stop a person from making a good first impression. I can't stop the person's feelings, since the emotion of love is, I'm proud to say, pretty fucking strong, but I can interfere with a person's love if I want to. I usually don't. I got bored of this job years ago.

But the day I saw Sakura, picking her out from the millions of pathetic humans running around on Earth, was different. I hadn't seen an interesting romance in quite a while, and I was staring to consider going on a vacation and leaving some other lesser God to act in my place. Then I saw Sakura's situation.

It wasn't anything special, just your typical girl-likes-boy, boy-likes-girl romance. I could see that it would actually work out for her, since the boy in question was already interested in her, although she didn't know. But it was that typical situation that made me think.

It was perfect. I was bored, and so I thought up a quick little game. I would get this little pink-haired teenager and play a game with her heart, not in the cruel way of course. I wondered how many guys would fall for her, with my influence. Looking closely, I saw that there were several hot, perfect guys who were suitable for my game. It was a wonder that she hadn't seen them already.

Of course, I couldjust allow Sakura and the fore-mentioned guy (Sasuke, or chicken-ass, as I affectionately dubbed him) to fall in love as they would if I just left them alone. After all, it was just so wrong to mess with someone's love life…

Psh, who was I kidding. Like I care about some random human's love life, other than for my entertainment. Besides, the guys I had ready for Sakura were hot. She'd be thanking me if she could see me now.

"Little Sakura… thanks for helping me out of my boredom." And with that, I let loose a burst of crazy, almost hysterical laughter that was heard by the fore-mentioned Weather Twins and made them shiver. Yes, I can be that terrifying.



She turned around with a smile, short pink hair fluttering around and finally settling on her shoulders. It wasn't that short, just not long enough to be considered long or short enough to not touch her shoulders. Her clear, innocent green eyes sparkled with good humor and intelligence. "Yes, Sasuke-kun?"

"...Here's your soda." Sakura was one of the few people who were capable of prying actual sentences from the taciturn Uchiha, an ability that was widely envied by others.

The Uchiha in question was had black hair (that was shaped like a chicken ass, although admittedly it suited him) and eyes to match. He was incredibly good looking, and had a club of fan girls to prove it.

"Sasuke-teme! Sit down already, you're blocking Hinata-chan from sitting!" The blonde boy who shouted had blue eyes and strange whisker-like marks on his face, where actual whiskers might have been. Everyone at the table was used to his loudness and somewhat fox like looks.

"Hinata-chan" was a timid-looking girl with long black, slightly blue hair and pale, almost white, eyes. She had a discreet air of a good upbringing, almost royalty, in fact. She spoke with a slight stutter, making her way around the black-haired Sasuke with a few graceful steps. "I-it's okay, Naruto-kun. H-here, your water…"

She sat to the right of Naruto and next to a somewhat wild-looking brunette with unusually sharp canines and red fang-shaped tattoos under his eyes.

All the people occupying this particular table were rather strange, although it was considered normal for the school. There was a boy with sunglasses and his collar upturned, hiding his mouth, and a redhead with such black-rimmed eyes (caused by insomnia) that it looked like he was wearing eyeliner. That and the fact that he had a tattoo proclaiming "love" on his forehead, and he was a strange boy indeed. A girl with two buns of chocolate-brown hair was sharpening her pencil in an oddly threatening way, and the two boys sitting nearest to her were even stranger – one had long brown hair and seemed to be related to Hinata, and the other was dressed in a green spandex suit, with a bowl-cut and thick eyebrows. There were many more teenagers sitting at the rectangular table, all laughing and talking.

They were in the food court of a large mall. It was a sunny Sunday afternoon, and the teens were spending the day with each other, relaxing after a long week of school.

After eating, they split up – Kiba and Shino to the pet shop, Lee, TenTen, and Neji to a small martial arts dojo/shop located at a corner of the mall, Naruto, Gaara, and Sasuke to the music store, Sai and Kankuro to the art store, the girls to various clothing stores, of course, and Chouji and Shikamaru just stayed at the food court. They agreed to meet back at the food court in a couple hours, and split up.

Sakura was the only one who hadn't yet decided where to go. She didn't want to go shopping for clothes with Ino and the girls, because no doubt they would force her into various dresses and skirts, and she was notin the mood for that. In the end, she decided to head for the bookstore – Kakashi, her English teacher, had assigned them a new book, Hamlet, and she wanted a copy for home.

She set off with a relaxed mood, not knowing that far, far away, yet quite close, a certain Goddess of Love was cackling manically.

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I cackled. "MUHAHAHAHAHA! Perfect, Sakura! Now, let's start my little game…" I peered into the giant screen before me (because the little models of Earth went out of style way back) and grinned. "Alright, here's where I'll introduce you to your prospective matches. Let's see… Ah, here's one. Let's have you two future lovebirds meet at the bookstore… How romantic!"

And with a (slightly evil) grin, I began to work my magic.


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A tall black-haired teen sighed slightly as he flipped through the book he was holding. It was a brand-new copy of Shakespeare's MerchantofVenice; one he had read many times. In fact, he had read all of Shakespeare's works at least three times each, so why he was here in the Shakespeare section, even he didn't know.

The urge for Shakespeare had grasped him quite suddenly, but it didn't matter, since he didn't have anything else to do. All if his friends (or acquaintances, as he liked to call them) were off at shops that held their interest. Only he had had nothing much to do.

The teen mused as he leaned slightly back into the bookshelf. Konoha hadn't changed much over his absence. He should have been in Kiri Academy right now, a highly advanced boarding school in Kirigakure, but a small accident (involving dangerous experiments, a spy from Otogakure, or Sound, named Orochimaru, and several deaths) had forced its students to return home and enroll in the local schools temporarily. Most of the students had chosen to go to Konoha rather than return home, as Konoha Academy was the almost-as-prestigious sister school of Kiri, although the boarding part (living at school) was optional here. In fact, all of his friends had chosen to attend Konoha Academy, with the exception of Zetsu, Kakuzu, and Konan. He himself had lived in Konoha originally.

Speaking of his childhood home… The teen smirked. His younger brother probably hadn't heard the news. Sasuke would be less than pleased to hear that his older brother was to go to his school. The smirk widened. Sasuke was in for an embarrassing year.

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Sakura made her way to the Shakespeare section of the bookstore, sipping at her mocha frapuccino. There were a lot of people in the store, but as she approached her destination, she noticed that there was only one person in the Shakespeare area. It was a tall teenager, older than her, with jet-black hair tied in a neat ponytail. He was dressed in a simple outfit of dark jeans and a grey long-sleeve.

As she approached, he didn't seem to notice, so she ignored him – until she saw that he was leaning against the part of the shelf that held what she was looking for. Sighing slightly, Sakura faced the boy and asked quietly, "Excuse me, could you move, please?" He raised his head, and Sakura took a sharp breath.

His eyes were of a deep ebony color that she knew quite well – she saw it every day on one of her best friend's face. The stranger had Sasuke's eyes. There was a slight look of surprise on his face as well; I mean, who had pink hair?

Sakura shook her head mentally. It was probably a coincidence. Lots of people had black eyes, and she just ignored the obvious resemblance of the face. "Thank you," she said as he moved.

She grabbed a copy of Hamlet, and groaned upon realizing it was a Sparknotes version. She put it back, but before she could begin her search for a good one, a copy was shoved into her face.

"There's a regular one." Then the stranger left, and Sakura was left feeling slightly confused.

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I frowned. Okay, so that could have gone better, but I guess I still needed to warm up a little. Years of not using my talents at all had handicapped me a bit. But still, at least they met. And lovely, smexy Itachi became curious about the pink-haired girl who looked like the same girl whose picture was all over Sasuke's Facebook page… I hope.

Well, they don't call me the Goddess of Love for nothing. Those two will meet again for sure.

And with that, I picked my next target. "AHA! Let's go with the artistes!"

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On her way out of the bookstore earlier, Sakura had suddenly remembered that she was in need of new colored pencils. So here she was, at the entrance of the only art store in the mall, feeling slightly intimidated by the quiet atmosphere. Still, she huffed and bravely stepped into the store, wondering if she would meet her friends Kankuro and Sai there.

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"Crap, crap, crap!" I'd forgotten about Sakura's two artist friends! Thinking quickly for a couple seconds, I pondered over possible methods of getting rid of them.

"Ah! That's it!"

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"...Hey, Sai."

"Yes, pedophile?"

"I was won – Why the hell do you keep calling me that?"

"You make puppets, which remind me of dolls, which could be used to lure in little girls, which makes you a pedophile."

"That doesn't make any –! Never mind. But anyways, I was wondering, why are we in Build A Bear?"

"I suddenly realized that at dickless' New Years' party last year, I promised Temari that I would improve your fashion sense. We shall start off with learning which outfits are good and which are horrible."

"But why are we in Build a Bear?"

"These bears have an overall wonderful sense of fashion. See, look over there-"



In a rip in time and space far, far away, a pair of twins shuddered sympathetically while a certain God of Love cackled.

Chapter end

And in the next chapter, Sakura meets the artists!

This is just another thing that popped into my head a while ago…

Please review, and point out any mistakes!

And I will update my other story soon enough, don't worry!

(Hint: Review.)

2/23/10 Update: Spacers fixed. Btw, tomorrow's my bday… *cough*