AN: Okay guys I'm redoing Choosing to Live Life. I have decided to go from first person to third person. Not much has changed in this chapter however things are subject to change in later chapters. I also will replacing the chapters one at a time. Rewritten Chapters will be posted either every Wednesday or Saturday. Redone chapters will have a * by the title. To those new to my story thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
It had been months since he had left Bella, and even now it was difficult to think about him or much less his name. The name Edward still sucker punched her in the chest leaving a gaping hole. Even though the hole was smaller than it had previously been, it was still there threatening to take her under with each breath. Despite the pain Bella had decided it was time to start living her life again. She didn't know how or when it began happening but slowly she was getting better, and reaching out to her one time friends.
Bella was at the movie theaters in Port Angeles with Jacob and Mike. There were supposed to be others but they canceled the main reason probably being that they hated her, or were under the influence of someone who hated her. In all honesty she couldn't blame them. She had totally ignored everyone in her life during her zombie phase. Angela, Ben, and Mike were the only ones who seemed to still like Bella. However, Angela had caught the stomach flu, which meant that Ben was staying behind to take care of her. Quil on the other hand made plans with a girl that he had been wanting to take out for months so she couldn't blame him either. Embry on the other hand had been absent for weeks so there was no chance of him coming around.
Even though things haven't turned out like Bella wanted them to she still wanted to have some semblance of fun , but that was going to be tough. Without the others, the group now became a trio which left room to be openly coveted. One out of actual love and the other out of simple want.
"Why did I ever agree to this?" Bella thought.
Bella began to get out of the car when Jacob lightly grabbed her hand, bringing her out of her thoughts. She turned to face Jacob, and looked down at her hand and he let it go leaving a twenty dollar bill behind. Bella furrowed her brows as she asked " What's this for?"
" You have to be eighteen to get into this movie." Jacob said with a slight blush tinging his cheeks.
Bella giggled before responding. " So much for relative age huh?"
"Just buy the ticket will ya" he said while chuckling.
"Maybe this won't be so bad with Jacob here" Bella thought. She could always count on him to make her laugh. Mike tried but it hardly ever worked. She began to think about the two of them. Mike wanted Bella since her first day at school in Forks. Jake on the other hand knew her since she was six and he was four, even at that young age he tended to follow Bella around like a little puppy. He was always trying to cheer her up especially after she had one of her signature clumsy moments. So Bella guessed you could say this wasn't her first time being coveted. Yet no one wanted Bella as bad as Edward. At least that was what she and everyone else believed. Bella had only recently found out that, that was been a lie. Honestly Bella had always felt that she such a plain person, and Edward was perfection beyond words. How could Bella expect him to have truly loved her? Bella now thought that, he was only interested in her because of his inability to hear her thoughts. Obviously his fascinations with that had worn out, and he was now onto other distractions.
Jacob was a close second with his want for he never pushed Bella she could tell that he liked her more than just a friend. Bella had used this knowledge to her convenience. She used him to feed her crazy delusions, to hear Edward's voice. Now that she thought about it what was wrong with her? She felt guilty for this now. Bella had begun to develop some feelings for Jacob also, but didn't want to lead him on. She didn't want him to be waiting around in the wings for her. He deserved so much better. Jacob was so happy he was like a sun to her. Edward had left her life in shambles, and pitch black darkness. Jacob relentlessly beat on me like the rays of the sun until her darkness was becoming a new dawn. Bella loved him for that but she wouldn't subject him to being with her. Not in her current state. Bella was irrevocably broken, and all though he had rebuilt her in a sense like her old truck there was only so much she could be fixed.
"Ma'am!" The movie attended all but shouted
"Aw crap" How long had she been standing there Bella thought? " I'm sorry, um, can I have three tickets for Crosshairs" Bella said flustered and blushing as she handed him the money.
" May I see your I.D please." He asked in an annoyed tone. Bella passed it to him when he gave it back he simply said " Enjoy the movie."
Bella made her way over to the boys, she noticed that Mike looked a little off.
"Are you ok?" Bella asked with concern in her voice.
"I'm fine" he said as he lightly put his hand on Bella's shoulder awkwardly. Bella glanced over at Jake, and Jake didn't look to happy. She decided to use handing Jake his ticket as a guise to slide out from under Mikes clammy hand. It worked and then the trio walked into the theater. They took their seats in the middle of the theater. They were happy to be lucky enough to get the best seats in the house. Bella could feel that this was going to be uncomfortable, and even if she wanted to pay attention to this movie that it would be impossible.
Bella's mind kept wandering to Jake who was sitting to my left with his arm taking the entire arm rest, hand palm up.
"Poor Mike" Bella thought. She never even gave him a second look. She knew that he just wasn't for her. Mike was to Bella's right doing the same thing as Jacob. Bella folded her arms in her lap not giving either one the satisfaction of holding either hand. A little more than half way through the movie and she was still thinking about how unfair she had been to Jake.
"Seriously why did she keep turning down Jake's advances" She thought. Though they were subtle like holding her hand or clenching to an embrace for a fraction too long, It made her feel as though she was cheating somehow.
"But how am I cheating when I'm not even with anyone." She thought "He left me and isn't going to come back."
Bella's concentration was broken by a loud throaty laugh that she knew to belong to Jacob. "My Jacob." She thought. "Wait a minute since when is Jacob my Jacob? Albeit I liked the sound of it." She thought. She knew it was selfish to want to stake a claim. Bella looked at the screen to see what was funny but all she saw was a plethora of blood and gore. Maybe she wasn't the only one who was twisted? She deliberated
"What's so funny?" she whispered
"Seriously Bells?This is horrid. They expect us to believe blood skeets that far? The body doesn't even have that much blood in it." Jake answered not even bothering to keep his voice low. A symphony of shhhh echoed behind his statement.
Bella laughed " Well , when you think about it that way." she said giggling more. "I guess it is kind of funny."
Bella rolled her eyes. Only Jake could make her laugh at something that would usually make her vomit. Bella took a chance to glance at Mike and he didn't look so hot.
" You okay?" Bella asked. Just as a bomb exploded on the screen, blowing blood and body parts everywhere. Jake let out a roar of laughter so loud the people behind them shushed him again.
" Jeez, sorry" he hissed just as an eyeball hit the screen. Jake laughed again. At that moment Mike doubled over with one arm clutching his stomach and the other hand covering his mouth. Bella looked over at him she noticed he had a slight sheen of sweat on his forehead. " Mike?" She questioned.
"Sorry, I gotta go" Mike mumbled as he bolted for what she assumed was the bathroom. Bella ran after him and Jake followed behind her Once they were in the Lobby Jake chuckled as he shook his head in disdain
" What a wuss" Jake muttered. Bella shot him glowering stare at him " Sorry."
Jake must have read Bella's mind, because just as she was about to ask him to check on Mike he volunteered to do it. "Be right back I'm going to go check on him." Jake said with a sigh. Bella sat on a bench that was right outside the door of the restroom. The music In the lobby changed to a song I hadn't heard in a long time, which wasn't surprising being that she stopped listening to music when he left. What did surprise her is that when she actually listened to the words she realized that it perfectly described her recent feelings for Jacob.
The song talked about breaking down walls, not fighting it, letting someone in and not doubting it. The song was absolutely perfect and she found herself agreeing with everything it said. Bella briefly felt it was odd timing for the song to come on, but pushed the thought out of my mind.
As the song echoed the words "I can see your halo" Jacob approached her. His head was blocking the view of a light leaving only a halo of light around it. Bella rolled her eyes as she thought " Alright, alright I get it."
" He's gonna be in there a while" Jake commented as reached and grabbed Bella's hand as he sat beside her. Bella reveled in his simple touch.
" Sorry" He said as he let her hand go. Jake totally misunderstood her tone. What should Bella expect? She was always chastising him about hugging her or holding her hand, especially in public.
" No Its okay!" She said. Bella retook his hand. She felt it was time to tell him how she really felt, but she couldn't quite bring herself to do it or much less find the right words. So she settled on this song to speak for her it was perfect so far.
" Jake, I want you to listen to the words in this song. Its how I feel about you." She said. Jacob nodded his head and began to listen.
Bella was amazed at the perfection of the song as it continued to explain her exact feelings all the way down to her analogy of Jacob being her sun. When the song finished keeping true to the song Jacob smiled a smile so bright that it truly could have broken through the darkest of nights. Which he had already begun to do for her. He looked so happy, albeit hesitant. He stood and pulled Bella to him and embraced her tightly. Bella drank from his warmth until he began to chuckle
" Soooo, I'm an angel now and you're addicted to me?" Jake was always making jokes. It could be so annoying to Bella. However it was just what she needed and she loved him for it. His jokes are partially what brought her out of her zombie phase.
" Oh Shut up" Bella said as she stood on her tip toes. She put her hands on his cheeks and began to pull him to her.
"Bells?" Jake asked. His voice was just a whisper right before Bella softly kissed him on his luscious lips. She pulled back to look at his reaction, both of them had bright smiles on their faces. Jacob pulled her tighter to him and kissed her once, twice, still testing the waters. On the third kiss we lingered. His lips were passionate, hungry, and sweet. Bella felt all of his emotions through his kiss, and she couldn't help but return her feelings for him. There was nothing to compare this feeling, this kiss to. Ed- he had always been so restrained. Their embraces and affections had been chaste at the best.
With Jacob there was no need to be restrained there was no danger. It felt like I was in a safe place, Bella was home. They were so involved with each other that they didn't hear Mike approaching. He obviously wasn't paying attention to them when he came out the bathroom or he would have noticed them right away.
" Hey gu-" Jacob and Bella broke apart just in time to hear Mike groan and wretch followed by a sickening splat against the floor.