God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen


Lots of Hotch/Reid Fluff and Slash

Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds. I do not make any money off of writing this. But I can dream… *sigh*


"HAH! Done!" Reid announced, slamming his last paper down and finishing his signature with a flourish.

"Damn!" Morgan cursed.

"… You totally SUCK." Prentiss groaned. Reid just grinned and stood, pulling on his coat and plopping a Santa hat onto his head.

"Merry Christmas, guys!" He sang, and they both leveled disgusted looks onto the young man. "Oh yeah!" He pulled two small boxes out of his pockets and tossed them. Prentiss and Morgan caught them. "I'll see you New Year!" And he snatched his messenger bag and turned, leaping up the stairs. He poked his head into Hotch's office. "I'm off, boss!" Hotch looked up.

"I'll pick you up at five!" Hotch hissed softly, and Reid nodded, heart fluttering happily. Then he stopped off in Rossi's office.

"Think fast!" He called. Rossi looked up just in time to catch the gift hurtling at his head.

"… Hm. Thanks kid. You and Hotch have a good time." He said, winking. Reid smiled.

"Thanks, Rossi. Merry Christmas."

"Same to you, kid." Rossi said, and chuckled as Reid scampered off to JJ's office. He hugged her and gave her a gift for her, and one for Henry, then skipped off to Garcia's office.

"Awww… My own Not So Secret Santa!" The woman cooed, grinning. "Do I get to sit on your lap?" Kevin Lynch's eyes widened, and Reid raised an eyebrow.

"Ah… you can sit on THIS one." Reid said, taking off the hat and putting it on Kevin, who then grinned. Garcia looked thoughtful, then laughed.

"Sure think, Junior G Man. Come give me a hug." The woman said, reaching out to Reid. Reid smiled and hugged her.

"You've got the keys to my place?" He asked.


"Okay. Just the herb garden in the kitchen, a bonsai on the coffee table, a bamboo plant on my bedside table, a little money tree in the bathroom and a palm in the back corner." Reid said. "There's a betta on the other bedside table, his food is in the drawer. And Kevin isn't allowed in my place."

"What? Why?" Kevin whined.

"Because I don't trust you not to try and cross boundaries in my place." Reid snorted. "Merry Christmas Garcia." He grinned as she planted a big kiss on his forehead, then left, listening to her teasing Kevin about not being trusted with boundaries in Reid's home.

Reid rode the elevator down with Section Chief Strauss. She looked at him, and smiled at the big red lipstick print on his forehead. "You look as relieved to be going on break as I do." Reid blinked at her, then smiled and nodded. "Your team has put in a lot of hard work. You deserve this vacation."

"Thank you, Ma'am." Reid said, nodding to her. The elevator opened on the lobby and Reid stepped out. "Have a Merry Christmas." He said politely, and Strauss nodded and pushed the button for the parking garage. The doors closed and Reid rolled his eyes. "Snow Queen…" He grumbled, and headed out into the swirling snow.

He hurried down the street, heading to his loft apartment two miles away. By the time he got there, his nose and cheeks were a glowing pink from the cold. He stopped into the coffee shop he lived over for a pumpkin latte (his guilty pleasure) and then headed upstairs.

He burst into his apartment and removed his coat and scarf and headed for a hot shower. When he was done he shaved, brushed his teeth, applied deodorant and aftershave, then packed up all of his toiletries and tossed them into the large duffel bag on his bed. He briefly entertained the idea of staying naked and hopping into the shower again right before Hotch arrived, answering the door in nothing but a towel, dripping wet… But he was properly embarrassed at the idea of acting so… wanton… that and they had a flight to catch.

Smiling at his own thoughts of daring, Reid tossed his towel into the bathroom and headed for his closet. He pulled on his boxers and a pair of black cords, then a black turtle neck and a thick dark red sweater. Then he pulled on socks; one was black with green Christmas trees, the other was white and red candy cane striped. He excitedly packed and unpacked his bag several times, just making sure that he wasn't forgetting anything, and also to make sure his space was used efficiently. He checked the clock. Hotch would be here in an hour and a half.

Heart pounding in anticipation, Reid forced himself to curl up in his armchair with a book, with soft music playing. An hour and a half later, a key was heard in the lock on his door, and the lock clicked. Then the door opened. Hotch stepped in, gasping in pleasure at the warmth of the apartment after the frigid cold outside. He took off his scarf and coat and gloves, then walked into Reid's loft. He smiled.

Reid's stereo was softly playing Christmas music in smooth jazz. The sensual sound of the saxophone dominated. Its notes were warm and sexual, and made Hotch think of smoke on the air and bourbon on the tongue, with the feeling of a body pressed up against his own, hot with desire as they stumbled out of a bar… His eyes rested on his young lover, curled up with a book. The boy had fallen asleep. Hotch smiled and walked across the room to stand over Reid. Slowly, he knelt and leaned forward, pressing a chaste kiss to slightly parted lips. Reid furrowed his brow and moaned slightly, blinking his eyes open. Hotch smiled at him. Reid focused on the man, then smiled back and they kissed again.

"Hey…" Reid murmured, and Hotch smiled and stood. Reid sighed and stretched, closing his book and setting it aside, then looking up at his lover. Slowly, his eyes drifted down until they came to rest on the front of Hotchner's pants. Hotch raised an eyebrow.

"Hmmm…" Reid said, looking amused. A sultry smirk tugged at his lips. He reached up a hand and his fingers graced over the front of Hotch's pants. "You ARE." He chuckled, and Hotch snorted.

"We need to leave." The man said.

"… We have a minute." Reid purred, then stood and kissed his lover, turning them around the firmly pressing Hotch back to sit in the chair and kneeling before him. Hotch opened his mouth to say something, but Reid silenced him with a kiss. His hands slid down his boss' body, then began to slowly unbuckle his belt. Hotch moaned slightly at Reid's tongue in his mouth and his hands at his pants.

Part of this scene has been removed for explicit content

Hotch smiled and nuzzled Reid again, holding him close while his trembling abated and his body slowly relaxed. Finally, he slid out from under Reid, who had been on his lap, and headed to the bathroom to wash his hands. He returned to Reid curled up in the chair with a damp cloth. He cleaned him up and tucked him back into his pants, then kissed him gently.

"Come on, Spencer… As fun as our little interlude was, we have to get going. Christmas at the airport is NOT gonna be fun." Reid nodded and stood, shaking a bit, but gathered his bags, turned out all the lights, armed his security system and followed Hotch to the car.

Wisely, they reached the airport several hours early, checked their bags, and then stood around in security for a good portion of those hours. Oddly enough, Hotch was proved wrong about Christmas at the airport not being fun. They were able to keep themselves entertained easily. Hotch had brought along a huge stack of case files to lighten JJ's holiday load, partially because he knew that Reid loved to go over them.

So they stood in line, morbidly enjoying the reactions of the people around them as they read cases to each other and passed crime scene photos back and forth calling attention to grisly details, discussing throat slittings, strangulations, evisceratings, disembowelments, and in one case, beheadings.

Then Reid, in a mischievous mood, regaled Hotch with stories of how many people out there lived next door to serial killers without ever having a clue because the killer was so NORMAL. He prattled off crime statistics, and eventually the pair ended up discussing past serial killers, profiling Jack the Ripper and Jeff Dahmer, going into EVERY gruesome detail.

Then they started looking around and profiling people walking by. They profiled the airport security officer sitting on his stool and checking peoples' IDs. The people around them seemed either very amused or unnerved by the two men.

Going through security they calmly took off shoes and belts, emptied pockets and offered their badge and credentials before presenting their side arms for inspection. Other people in the security lines watched in interest, especially when Hotchner pulled the gun strapped to his ankle (which he had actually forgotten about). They moved through security, gathered their belongings and went on their way to their gate. Reid stopped off at the bookstore and grabbed a couple of books he had been meaning to read, and met Hotch at the gate. The man had bought them coffee. Smiling, Reid accepted the cup and they settled down to wait for boarding to begin. Hotch chuckled at what had to be fifteen dollars worth of gummy worms. He draped an arm around Reid and kissed his forehead. Reid smiled up at him.

"I can't believe we're actually going." Reid admitted.

"Why?" Hotch asked.

"Well… I thought for sure that a case was going to come up." Reid said.

"Perry's team is on call this Christmas." Hotch said, smiling.

"Oh." Reid said, nodding and ripping open a bag of gummy worms. A few minutes later the announcement was made to begin boarding first class. Hotch stood and Reid blinked, then grinned. "First Class? Someone makes more than I thought he did." The boy teased.

"Shut up and get moving, Agent Reid." Hotch snorted.

"Yessir, Agent Hotchner." Reid snickered, gathering his carry-ons and presenting his boarding pass to the flight attendant. They boarded and found their seats. "So…" Reid murmured into Hotch's ear as they stood shoulder to shoulder, putting their bags in the overhead compartment. "We gonna join the Mile High Club?" Hotch blinked, then grinned.

"We'll have to arrest each other afterwards." He pointed out with a shrug, and Reid laughed. The two men sat down, each feeling more light hearted and care free than they had in a long time… and they knew that part of their ease was simply because they were in the presence of the other…

By the time the plane was full and making its way to the runway, Reid had already finished a book. He tucked it away and peered out of the window, watching the ground disappear into the darkness of the wintry night as they took off. They were finally on their way. Reid sighed and leaned the other way, resting his head on his boss' shoulder. A whole week with Aaron… Christmas none the less. Reid couldn't be happier. Hotch smiled and put an arm around Reid, kissing the top of his head. Then both leaned back and closed their eyes as the plane climbed to its cruising altitude.

The flight was peaceful. Hotch and Reid relaxed, their heads in their headphones, leaning into one another. It had been a busy day full of rushing to finish paperwork, so it was pleasant to just sit quietly, not having to think about anything but the warmth that came from being close to a loved one.

Hotch gently shook Reid awake when the fasten seatbelt signs turned back on. Reid yawned and stretched, putting his seatbelt back on and tucking his MP3 into his pocket. They gathered themselves together and waited patiently to disembark. They left the plane feeling tired, but pleased that their journey was almost over.

They picked up the rental car, a black SUV (Reid teased Hotch about being afraid of change) and then headed off to their hotel. It was a famous hotel on the Plaza; the La Fonda, right by Canyon Road. They pulled up and Hotch turned the key over to the valet while the bellmen took their luggage. Hotch and Reid shouldered their carry-ons and walked into the hotel. Hotch checked in while Reid looked around in interest, and then they headed to their suite. While Reid did his usual required exploration, Hotch took a shower. He had timed it perfectly; he got out just as Reid was ready to get in. While Reid showered, Hotch unpacked and made himself at home.

He sighed and leaned back, closing his eyes lightly. What a long day… It was late. He dozed off, not hearing the shower shut off, or the door open. Reid walked in, toweling his hair dry. He smiled at Hotch asleep on the sofa, and slowly sat down beside him. He sat for a while, just staring at the man's face, then laid a hand on his shoulder. Hotch twitched and opened his eyes.

"Hey…" Reid murmured. "Come on." Hotch blinked and looked at him, then nodded. He stood and followed Reid to the bed. They turned down the covers, turned out the light and drew close to one another. And soon, they were asleep.

No drama in this one. Just fun and fluff. And Sex. That too. WOO!

My apologies for all of the removed scene. The site admin is cracking down on explicit content. If you wish to read the story in its entirety, you will be able to find it soon on adult fan fiction . net. Remove the spaces from that... site admin also doesn't allow links on this site... For the full story on this current crack down, please visit my profile.

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