God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen


Lots of Hotch/Reid Fluff and Slash

Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds. I do not make any money off of writing this. But I can dream… *sigh*

December 28th

Reid wasn't sure exactly what woke him…

Light was shining on his face… the smell of coffee wafted through the air… he had to go to the bathroom… and then there was the gentle hand… Reid was resting on his stomach, and the hand was stroking up and down his spine. Reid drew in a deep breath through his nose, then let it out, rolling onto his back and stretching his arms up over his head with a soft moan. The hand held still as he rolled, fingers feeling his hip, and coming to rest just beneath his navel.

"Mmmmm…" He hummed as he stretched. He gave a sleepy smile to the man sitting by his side, hanging over him. Hotch smiled back, now rubbing Reid's belly.

"… Good morning." He said, softly. Reid blinked his sleepy eyes and smiled again.

"Mmm… Mornin'." The youth sighed, cooing when a chaste kiss was pressed to his lips.

"Breakfast…" Hotch said, and Reid sat up, blinking again.

"In bed? Wow." He said, staring at the lap table tray as Hotch slid it up the bed, then grabbed his own. The pair sat side by side, leaning into the pillows and enjoying their breakfast; eggs, Belgian Waffles, hashbrowns and bacon with fresh fruit on the side.

"Mmmm…" Reid purred as he sipped his coffee. Hotch smiled at him.

"You okay?" He asked.

"I'm perfect…" Reid sighed, leaning on Hotch and laying his head on the man's shoulder. "… Do we have to go home?"

"Afraid so." The man said, sighing in regret. And once they were finished eating, they packed their bags, checked out of the hotel and headed to the airport.

Security was insane… it took them several hours to get through it. They got to their gate just as boarding for first class was called. They boarded the plane, stowed their bags in the overhead compartment and Reid snagged himself the window seat again. He blinked when Hotch dropped a pile of folders into his lap. Reid blinked down at the case files, then grinned and began to go through them. When time came for take off, the flight attendant moved to tell the two men to put away their things, but she took one look at the gruesome photos they were looking at and decided that if she opened her mouth, she may not be able to hold back the vomit. Some battles just weren't worth fighting.

The pair spent the entire flight discussing the cases, hurriedly packing them away when they landed. Turns out they had a four hour layover at Dallas/Forth Worth International Airport. They disembarked and went to find someplace to get something to eat. They discussed their case files over lunch, saw they still had another two hours, so they ordered dessert, too. After that, they meandered to the nearest sports bar in the place where Hotch had a beer and listened to Reid prattle on and on about how having a bar in an airport was probably NOT a good idea. Reid turned red and shut up when he realized that Hotch was grinning and listening to every word, and that the bartender was shooting him odd looks... Oh, and when he realized that a man sitting further down the bar was checking him out… Hotch sent this man packing with a hand on Reid's thigh and one of his trademark intimidating "Glare of Death"s, as Garcia had named it.

Reid raised an eyebrow. "Please tell me you did not just do that." He said, and Hotch looked at him. "Did you basically put a possessive hand on me and non-verbally tell that guy 'Mine, back off'?"

"As a matter of fact I did." Hotch chuckled, and Reid rolled his eyes and groaned. And he nearly cried when they finally boarded their plane and the same man was sitting right behind him. He had his face buried in the paper and Hotch didn't notice, thank God… But after they had gotten into the air, the altitude made the SAC's beer go right through him and he made a run to the bathroom. Reid blinked when Hotch's seat was promptly taken by the man sitting behind him.

"Hi." The man said with a smirk, offering Reid his hand. "I'm Jospeh." Reid eyed the man, then sighed internally and took it.

"… Dr. Reid." He said, simply. The man blinked.

"I don't get a first name?" He asked with what he THOUGHT was a charming smile. Reid saw the smile and thought 'UnSub in the making… great.'

"Nope." Reid said, calmly. The man's smile faltered. Damn. Shot down.

"So what's a hot little number like you doing with an older guy like that?" Joseph asked, refusing to be dissuaded. Hotch returned at that moment. Reid glanced up and winked at him. Hotch blinked, then slowly sat down in a vacant seat nearby to listen in… He'd let Reid handle it himself.

"What can I say," Reid shrugged. "The sex is amazing." Hotch nearly burst out laughing at the look on the man's face at Reid's answer… and at the fact that those words had come out of REID'S mouth to a complete stranger. A couple of other people in the general area were starting to listen in, too.

"… A young kid like you should be with someone young." Joseph advised. "Someone who can keep up."

"… Are you applying for the position?" Reid asked, turning and looking at the man in amusement. Joseph slid closer.

"… I just might be…" He purred, reaching out and laying his hand on Reid's thigh. That made Hotch's hackles raise… Reid just stared at Joseph and eyed him up and down. Hotch calmed. He could see Spencer turning into SSA Reid.

"I highly doubt that." Reid said, suddenly.

"Why?" Joseph asked.

"You're married." Reid said, calmly. Joseph recoiled, eyes wide in shock. "You're not wearing your ring, but I can easily see where you normally wear it. My guess is that your wife makes you feel emasculated so you have to compensate outside of your marriage by picking up women… and men. You've struggled with your sexuality all of your life but always fought it. But now, you're starting to say 'what the hell' and give it a try. I'm guessing that you tell yourself that just because you sleep with men it doesn't make you gay because you're married with kids.

"You also compensate by driving a hummer." Reid said, glancing down at the keychain dangling from the man's jeans. "My guess is it's red or yellow. Something that stands out and draws attention. And you also probably have it, 'all tricked out' I believe is the term.

"You made a comment calling the man I'm with an 'older guy'. And he's the real reason you picked me. If you can get someone to sleep with you over their 'older guy' it makes you feel like you're the alpha male; you beat out another guy to his own mate. So all of this is just to make YOU feel better about your masculinity.

"You try to appear younger than you are. You look like you're in your late twenties, but my guess is you're probably about the same age as that 'older guy' I'm with. Your hair color is too even; you dye it. And you might use rogaine, if not because you really need it, because you simply THINK you do. And your face is too stiff. You've had botox injections. And when you get someone in bed you have to impress them with your 'young' virile sex drive. I'm guessing you take something to help you along. Maybe… Viagra and/or Enzyte?"

Joseph, who had been tightening his hand on Reid's thigh, suddenly jerked it back as though burned. Then he turned at a chuckle. Hotch was standing there, looking terribly amused.

"That was quite the show, Spencer." Hotch said, smirking. "I knew I kept you around the BAU for a reason." He looked at Joseph and offered his hand. "SSA Hotchner." Joseph leapt to his feet nervously.

"… SSA? BAU? What?"

"SSA." Reid said. "Supervisory Special Agent. BAU. Behavioral Analysis Unit."

"You're lucky." Hotch said to Joseph. "Most of the men that Agent Reid profiles end up in jail." Joseph blinked, then hurried off to the bathroom. Many of the people around them broke into laughter as Hotch slid down into his seat. Reid grinned at him, and Hotch grinned back, laying his hand on Reid's thigh where Joseph's hand had been. Then he relaxed and closed his eyes, Reid laying his head on the man's shoulder.

Joseph never returned to the First Class cabin, deciding to lick his wounds in coach. When the plane disembarked, Hotch and Reid slowly made their way to the luggage claim, the enchantment of their week coming to an end. They were almost home. They would be back at work. Back to hiding what they had. They already missed the freedom they had experienced. They stood silently by the luggage carousel, fingers gently linked as they tried to cling to one last strand of their first Christmas together before it broke and left them with nothing but memories.

Reid saw his suitcase coming and reached out, that last strand breaking.

"I got it." Joseph said, suddenly coming out of nowhere. He grabbed Reid's bag and tugged. Then he yelped when the bag didn't budge, but continued on its merry journey. Joseph stumbled, losing his hold on the bag, and Reid couldn't help but laugh.

"What are you DOING?"

"Trying to impress you." Hotch chuckled, seizing Reid's bag when it passed and heaving it off of the carousel, knowing full well how many books and case files were piled into the thing. "Nice try." Hotch said to Joseph, who turned red and slunk away. Reid turned and looked at Hotch, covering his mouth so he wouldn't laugh. Hotch raised an eyebrow at Reid, who finally lowered his hand.

"Now I'm starting to feel sorry for the guy!" Reid squeaked. Hotch chuckled and caught his own bag when it passed and the pair headed out to the car, loaded up and began the drive back to Quantico. They spent the drive in a comfortable silence, Reid staring out at the snow covered landscape as it went by.

"… Aaron?"


"You're seeing Jack tomorrow, right?"

"Uh, yeah. I have him at my place tomorrow and the next day." The man said.

"… Will you stay with me tonight?" Reid asked, softly. Hotch turned and looked at the young man, then smiled.

"Of course." He said. "And New Years Eve, it's all us."

"What do you want to do?"

"We're going to the Bureau Ball."

"… We are?"


"… That's formal!"

"Yeah. And?"

"I don't have anything to wear!"

"… I'll call Garcia."


"I'll have Garcia help you find something."

"Great. Hotch… I can handle it."

"… Can you now?"

"Yes, I- Hotch? What are you doing? Who are you calling? Aaron?"

"Yes, good afternoon, Penelope… Uh huh? Really? Hm. I look forward to it. Listen, I need a favor."


"Spencer doesn't have anything to wear for the New Year party. I have Jack for the next couple of days, could you—Great. Thanks. We owe you… Yeah. I'll check his closet and text you his sizes. Thanks. Bye."

"… You suck, Hotch." Reid pouted, slouching down in his seat.

"… And you love it."

"Huh?" Reid asked, blinking in confusion. He watched as Hotch's lips slowly spread into a grin. "… HOTCH!"


A few minutes later they parked at Reid's loft apartment and Hotch carried Reid's suitcase up for him. When they stepped into the loft, Hotch dropped the bag and covered Reid's eyes.


"Shhhh…" Hotch chuckled, guiding Reid into the room. Reid blinked.

"What's that noise? What's going on?" Reid asked, hearing a funny hum and the trickling of water.

"Garcia had the team come over the day after we left to set up your Christmas gift." Hotch said. "They all went in on it together."

"Uh oh."

"Hush. You ready?" Hotch asked, guiding Reid into place.

"I guess." Reid mumbled, and Hotch uncovered Reid's eyes. Reid blinked and stared, his eyes widening. Between the back of his couch and the foot of his bed had been a great big blank spot. It was no longer blank. Standing tall and proud on a large sturdy stand was a 100 gallon fish tank. Green plants swayed gently in the current that the filter provided, and it was filled with little plastic Greek ruins. A large temple structure had bubbles rising from the floor, and on the other side of the tank a little circular structure had bubbles churning up too.

Colorful fish darted around, and there was a little gift bag sitting before the tank that had fish food, general maintenance supplies for the fish, and little brochures telling what kind of fish were in the tank. The team had chosen to fill Reid's tank with angelfish, barbs and gouramis, all semi-aggressive tropical fresh water fish that could be purchased at the nearest Petsmart. There were algae eaters all over, and a small army of ghost shrimp marched their way around the bottom of the tank on the blue and green gravel.

Hotch watched as Reid slowly smiled.

"Oh, wow…" He murmured, flipping through the little pamphlets, reading them all in less than 60 seconds. Then he pulled out the card and opened it. The team (minus Hotch) had signed it for him. There was even a little scribble from Henry. Reid smiled and picked up the small canister of fish food, sprinkling some into the tank and watching the fish swarm.

"I've never had fish like this before!" Reid exclaimed, turning and giving Hotch a grin of childish delight. The man smiled back and walked over, admiring the large tank.

"You've never had a PET before."

"Just Einstein."

"… Einstein?" Hotch asked.

"My Betta." Reid shrugged, glancing at the little bowl on his bedside table where his blue betta lived. Hotch just smiled and went to the bathroom, then went to the closet, checked Reid's clothes and texted Garcia what size he wore. When he came back out again, Reid was still happily admiring his Christmas gift from the team. Hotch smiled and walked over, standing behind Reid and wrapping his arms around the boy's middle.

"How about this…" The man murmured into the doctor's ear. "Why don't you get showered… and I'll order us some dinner?" Reid smiled and turned to face Hotch.

"Sure." He said with a nod. Hotch kissed him, then went to the phone while Reid headed to the bathroom. Reid took his time, enjoying showering in his OWN shower, then wrapped himself in a towel and headed to the closet. Hotch smiled to himself, watching the boy walk dripping wet around the bed to get to the closet. Then he grinned, and quietly followed. Reid was reaching for some clean pajamas when a hand closed around his wrist and he was jerked off balance.

"Hotch!" He gasped, stumbling as he was dragged out of the closet and across the loft. Hotch shoved him down into the arm chair and dropped to his knees before him. Reid stared in shock and squeaked when Hotch whipped away his towel and pressed his legs apart with hands on the boy's knees.

"… What are you doing?" Reid yelped, stunned.

"… just living up to what you said to me in the car… and returning the favor you granted me before we left on our vacation…" Hotch chuckled, then bowed his head. He pleasured his lover with his mouth, and within a few minutes, they were having mind blowing sex right there in the living room.

Then, there was a knock on the door. Both men froze, eyes wide.

"… Ignore it!" Hotch gasped, cursing when Reid shoved him away and seized his bath towel, wrapping it around himself.

"The lights are all on, anyone who looked at my windows knows I'm home!" Reid hissed. "Put on your pants!" Hotch growled and did so, pulling on his pants and following Reid to the door. The boy peered through the peephole. "Oh! It's dinner!" He said, and Hotch slowly grinned. As Reid unlocked the door, he slowly lifted the back of the towel around Reid's waist, and when Reid opened the door, Hotch began to do rather... in appropriate things to Reid from behind.

Reid froze and squeaked, eyes going wide.

"That was fast." Hotch said casually, reaching out and taking the bag from the delivery boy. "Thanks."

"Um, it'll be thirty four fifty seven." The man said.

"Oh! Right." Hotch said. "Reid, my wallet is right there on the table." Reid blinked and gulped, fumbling at the wallet on the table beside him. He pulled out two twenties, shoved them into the man's hands, then slammed the door in his face. A second later, Hotch had ripped away his towel again and dragged him across the apartment. Reid yipped and managed to set the bag of food down as they passed the kitchen on their frantic journey to the bed.

Reid grunted as he was shoved back onto the bed, and he scooted up until he was sitting against the head board, watching Hotch getting overly violent in the removal of his pants. Reid snorted.

"I swear to God Aaron…" He grumbled as Hotch finally tossed his pants aside. "If you EVER pull anything like that again—"

"Shut up." Hotch snorted, crawling over to Reid.

"No, YOU shut up and listen." Reid said, crossing his legs. Hotch glared at him. "I am NOT letting you in until you listen to me." Reid said firmly. Hotch blinked, then slowly grinned. Reid blinked and his eyes widened. "Hotch… what… what are…?" He stammered, discovering that the look in the elder's eyes was making him VERY nervous and VERY aroused…

Hotch pounced and Reid let out a shriek.

Part of this scene has been removed for explicit content

When it was all over, Reid closed his eyes and relaxed. Hotch watched his face as the harsh intensity of his release melted into that soft, caressing state of bliss. Slowly, the elder took Reid into his arms and lowered him to rest on the pillows, slipping out of his quivering body and reclining next to him. He reached out and gently ran his fingers through his agent's tousled curls, smiling when the youth mewed softly, nuzzling into the man's hand. He leaned down, pressing a tender kiss to Reid's cheek, then got up and moved across the room, washing his hands and retrieving the bag of food, hearing Reid slip into the bathroom to clean himself up and wash his hands as well. Hotch carried it back over to the bed and slid back onto it with Reid, kissing his forehead. Reid smiled and sighed, slowly moving himself to sit up against the pillows as Hotch unpacked their dinner.

"Mmmm…" Reid purred, curling into Hotch's side. "What did you order?"

"Just an assortment of appetizers from Olive Garden." Hotch said with a shrug. "Finger foods."

"… Ooooh." Reid said appreciatively as Hotch began to lay them out. Fried Calamari, toasted ravioli, fried mozzarella, stuffed mushrooms, bruschetta, spinach and artichoke dip, a bowl of salad, breadsticks, and dipping sauces. The pair settled down to eat, Hotch smiling as Reid rested his head on the elder's shoulder, nibbling on a piece of Calamari. They ate in a comfortable silence, and when they were finished, they put the food away, brushed their teeth and slid into bed.

"Hotch?" Reid murmured after a bit, and Hotch looked through the darkness at the top of the head that was resting on his chest.


"When you leave tomorrow… there's a present in the front closet for Jack." Hotch blinked, then smiled.

"Thank you." He whispered softy, pressing a kiss to the crown of Reid's head. "I love you, Spencer. Sleep well. And be good for Garcia, tomorrow."

"… You suck, Hotch."

"Goodnight, Spencer." The man chuckled, kissing Reid's head again.

"… You still suck." Hotch just smiled at the growl from his lover and closed his eyes, but just before he fell asleep, the tiniest sigh reached his ears.

"… Love you too, Aaron…" Hotch smiled and held Reid close, allowing sleep to claim him.


My apologies for all of the removed scene. The site admin is cracking down on explicit content. If you wish to read the story in its entirety, you will be able to find it soon on adult fan fiction . net. Remove the spaces from that... site admin also doesn't allow links on this site... For the full story on this current crack down, please visit my profile.

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