An erotic Edward/Bella fanfic
He's perfect, I thought. Perfect.
Everybody else thought so, too; Jacob, with his the jealousy rippling at the corners of his lips; the other vampires, none quite as godly as him, who respected him in the way an inferior dog implicitly bowed to its superior; Laura, who I would sometimes catch slicing her eyes over to him with her eyes glittering in the traitorous way that I knew so well because I'd seen it in all those other girls. Because yes, of course, there were always girls, so many of them and yet all the same ( "so handsome, his eyes and his lips and did you see that butt --" "oh my god, Anna, will you believe, he smiled at me --") --
Well, no, I didn't believe that, because he would smile only for me, and now I was, too, and once I'd started to it was like I couldn't stop, corners of my mouth pulling up up up while my hand wandered down down down over his chest to the front of his pants.
I loved the way his mouth curled around my name when his zipper screeched open ("Be --"), and I wrapped my legs around him, heels digging into his backside (" -- ll --"), and pulled him closer ( "-- ah -- ahh --").
Then he was kissing me again, wet but passionate, teeth clicking together, the taste of menthol lingering on his tongue; I moaned and buried my hands in the silk-sea of his hair, closer, closer, more, more.
"Edward." I broke the kiss, touched his cheeks, let my thumb caress the softly-wielding silk of his lips. He blinked; his velvety lashes splayed against his cheeks like black cracks on a scrimshaw mask, and oh, then he was looking at me again, he and his incandessant, perfect topaz eyes. And then it really struck me: it's him, it's him, it's really him, my wonderful beautiful perfect Edward.
When my legs fell open, my heart unlocked right along with them.
And then it all happened very fast. The sound of my own heart beat was thundering in my ears and then ohhh he positioned himself, oh yes, finally . I could feel the wet flesh brush against my thighs, and a shiver rippled through me and mmm my eyes were about to flutter shut. I arched my back and offered myself to him like an altar, for him to take and him to ravish; his, eternally his. The back of my hand pressed against my lips shyly, demurely, as I tightened my legs around him, ready to cradle him in my bosom of love and then --
Eyes widened. Slippery fingers dug into bony shoulders. Hearts dropped into stomachs to flutter like so many flocks of birds, and oh yes, he's inside me, oh yes, Edward, EDWARD --
And then he stiffened above me, eyes so wide and so blue, cheeks heating with color like a bed of roses. He opened his mouth, and released a sigh, and with it, a single word:
Watched him twitch above me.
Heard another drawn-out moan rip from his throat.
Then there was silence. There was the sound of clocks ticking and hearts beating, and the sound of time itself moaning and aching as it squeezes past, and maybe eons passing and planets dying and coming to life.
"What," I asked, "the hell," I shoved him away and scooted back, "was that?"
Where was my night-long love fest? Where were my sparkly lovemakings that stiched the sky to the earth, accompanied by a wailing Latin chorus with flapping wings and re-aligned the Universe?
"Well, what did you expect?" he exclaimed.
Hell, where were my unicorns?!
"What did I expect?" I scrambled to my feet, throwing the sheets at him. "Something? Anything? Do you think this is what I signed up for when I fell in love with Mr. Tall, Brooding and Glittery?"
My damn UNICORNS! I had a right to them! This hadn't been anywhere on the package -- not even in the fine print! (it had something about 'glitter may wash off in the rain', but --)
He scowled. "Bella. I'm a virgin. Why, do you expect me to have fallen from the sky as a skillful lover?"
"Edward," I breathed, eyes widening in realization. "I was wrong about us after all."
"No. Bella, p-please, you -- you can't --"
"Oh my. Oh my. Oh, fuck. I-I should have known from the start. Of course you were a virgin," I said, in a 'the sky is blue' kind of way. "Oh, Edward. I should have realized sooner that dating an immortal, handsome, chiselled, clever, witty, toned, tanning-bed basted, waxed, plucked, moisturized, deodorized, perfumed, perfect --"
Edward's chest expanded at that --
"-- 107-year old virgin --"
-- and deflated.
"--was a big fucking mistake."
"Please, tell us what happened," the reporter says, shoving her microphone into the fisherman's face.
The man nods. "Well, I was jus' -- you know, getting ready to go out and fish when I hear this scream, you know? It was like," the man takes a deep breath, "AHHHRGOOHROOO --"
"Please, sir," the reporter interrupts, "don't exert yourself."
Bella rolls her eyes, reaching into her bag of chips.
"And then, you know, I find this boy, drifting in the water. Terrible sight, that one. Clutching a dagger to his heart --"
"Awful, truly awful," the report ads sympathetically, and the, before the man can say anything else, cuts him off by turning to the camera. "And thus ends the tragedy of this often-overlooked town of Forks in Washington State, where this young teenage boy perished under tragic circumstances. Was it suicide? Was it done out of love? Was he the Romeo pining for his Juliet? The world may never know. Back to you, Bob --"
I groan and switch off the television.
Author's Notes: Congrats, you were just the Twilight fandom version of rick-rolled.
Btw, just so you know, the alternative summary was: "He was magnificient. All the girls loved him; all the boys feared him. He was regal, there was nothing he couldn't do. Bullets? Bitch, please, with his TEETH! He was perfect. And he came in approximately 1.03 seconds. Oh snap."
I decided to be more evil than that, though. Oh well.