Baby Me?
By Amy Firestine
Disclaimers: Scarecrow and Mrs. King is copyrighted to Warner Brothers and Shoot the Moon Production Company. I have borrowed the characters without the permission of WB & Shoot the Moon. Some of the dialogue/scenes were borrowed from Stemwinder Part 2 written by Robert W. Gilmer and George Geiger. This story is for entertainment purposes ONLY, and I do not wish to use this story to profit off of the borrowed characters. This story, however, is copyrighted to the mentioned author. If you would like to add it to an archive, please just let me know.
Summary: Having a few minutes to relax, while on the run, Amanda thinks over the moment in her bedroom when Lee told her he loved her.
Author's Notes: Stemwinder has always been one of my favorite episodes, and when PAX re-aired it, they put in a few extra lines that weren't on the Family Channel version. Something about Lee's commentary "I won't be able to baby you out there" just bugged me. The result was this short story, which kind of wrote itself. I want to thank Merel for betaing this story and providing some really good insight into some of the characterizations.
Timeframe: Filler scene for Stemwinder, part 2. (Fourth Season)
Rating: PG
Completed: 1/25/02
A deep sigh escaped from the lips of the brunette as she looked around the living room, which had just recently been transformed into a temporary bedroom. Feeling a strong arm tighten around her shoulders, she caressed it gently. Who would have thought three years ago that she, Amanda King, would be lying in the arms of the man she had once thought to be way beyond her reach? A man whose gaze had a way of melting her heart and making her go weak in the knees. Of course she knew that she wasn't the only woman he had that effect on. Everyone knew about Scarecrow's track record with women. He had more black books than her mother had recipe tins.
Despite the infamous stories, she had never truly bought into the façade that Lee Stetson had long hidden behind. From the moment they had first met that morning at the train station, she had seen something in his eyes. That something was the reason she had taken the package and the reason that she had decided, even though she knew the brash young agent didn't want her help, to get involved in catching Mrs. Welsh. The first time she really got a glimpse of the man behind the mask, was when Lee had risked his career for her. Imagine anyone thinking that she was the legendary Scarecrow! But those goons had mistaken her for Lee, and Lee had risked treason to save her. That day, she knew she had found a friend. She had also realized, whether Lee would admit it or not, that he needed a constant in his life, and she had decided right then and there to stop at nothing to make their friendship last.
Moving her fingers along his arm, she realized just how much their relationship had changed over the last few years. What had started out as a simple friendship, had slowly blossomed into a close partnership. Somewhere in there, they had both realized that there was more to their relationship, but neither one of them had been ready to act upon their feelings. What is it about the fear of losing someone that makes a person throw caution to the wind? Was it really only yesterday that Lee had admitted that he'd loved her, and that he had for a long time but was never ready to admit it to her or himself? She knew that the fear of never seeing each other again had been partly responsible for his confession. Regardless of the circumstances leading up to his admission, she had been overjoyed, after getting over the initial shock, to know for a fact that he felt the same way about her as she felt about him.
A smile graced her lips as she remembered the first time she had admitted to herself that her feelings for Lee had moved beyond friendship. It was the day they had been surprised by one of Lee's girlfriends, Leslie, at his old apartment. Amanda wasn't sure exactly when she had fallen in love with Lee, but she realized, looking back on that day, that the reason she had gone to that warehouse alone to keep an eye on O'Keefe, was a purely jealous reaction. Her smile deepened as she realized that even if her reasons for going weren't good ones, it had been lucky she was there. What would she have done if that explosion had managed to kill Lee? He wouldn't have been able to ask her to that steak dinner, a dinner that she was convinced led to Lee's breaking up with Leslie. Not that anything special had happened at that dinner. Well, actually, it had—they had talked as friends. They had shared stories of their lives, outside of work. Work, as he had promised, never once entered into their conversation. That dinner was the beginning of the road that led them here. If she hadn't saved the day, she wouldn't be here now, in her true love's arms.
Love—Lee Stetson loved her. That thought alone seemed to help drown out the sound of the rain outside and quieted the fear in her mind. After they had returned from the disastrous meeting with Mr. Melrose, and had seen the ad confirming Lee's defection the following day, they had come back to their "hideout." After spending a half-hour cleaning their weapons, Amanda had gotten up from the table and had begun preparing the sofa bed. Lee must have seen the pained, worried look on her face because he immediately made sure the safety was on his gun and laid it on the counter. Walking over he joined her by the bed. Sitting on the half-made mattress, he patted the spot next to him. The minute she sat next to him, he pulled her closer her to him, putting a comforting arm around her shoulder. She had leaned her head on his shoulder, as he gently ran his fingers through her hair. He moved his face closer to hers and whispered that it might not be a bad idea for them to get some sleep.
Amanda had agreed and after getting ready, they had both laid down on the bed. Lee had pulled her to him and together they had taken comfort in the security they provided for each other. Before Lee had drifted off to sleep, he had whispered, "I'm glad you're here with me."
A clap of thunder sounded outside and Amanda shuddered. For some reason, in this room, where they lay hiding from the rest of the world, the thunder had sounded more like a gunshot. A sound that reminded her, once again, that they were fugitives. They were placing their lives in the hands of a not-so-trustworthy Russian, and Mr. Melrose who might not be able to get away from the eyes of the Agency to help them tomorrow. But where would they be tomorrow? What if Lee did end up having to defect and go with Rostov to Russia? Where would that leave her? A bolt of lightning flashed, lighting the room briefly and her eyes fell on the gun Lee had placed on the counter. Her thoughts turned to the gun Lee had given her earlier. She quickly realized that the cold black steal would be her only form of protection tomorrow.
Lee would be on the ground, far away from her. She was going to be on her own, acting as his look out and she might have to shoot someone. Sure she'd shot a gun before, at the target range, but she'd never actually pointed the gun at another living creature. Besides that, she held the worst score of anyone at the Agency, even among the first year recruits. Lee was counting on her; she was all he had left in his corner. Even though she had convinced him to call Mr. Melrose, to trust him one more time, they couldn't be sure he'd be able to come through for them. "Tomorrow was as big as they come." That's what Lee had said. What if she couldn't do it? What if she froze? What if …
'No. That's enough. No more "what ifs." I love Lee. I'd never let anything happen to him. That's why I'm here,' she tried to convince herself. 'We're going to make it through tomorrow. I'm going to watch his back just like I always do. We've got each other and I know we'll make it through this.' After being on the run for the better part of the last twenty-four hours, Amanda knew she needed to think of something pleasant. Something to help clear all the doubts from her mind.
Closing her eyes, she let the memory of the events that took place the afternoon before they had both become fugitives play in her mind.
The shock of finding Lee in her bedroom, slightly injured was just wearing off, and Amanda was beginning to enjoy being in his arms. The moment, however, was short lived.
Lee looked into her eyes. "I meant what I said on the phone. I just want you to know that before I go," his voice was soft, and gentle. "I love you …I have for a very long time."
Amanda sighed and smiled reassuringly, encouraging Lee to continue. "I just … I was just never ready to…you know."
She nodded and whispered, "I know."
Before she could say anything else, her mother yelled from downstairs, "Amanda, I think those federal agents are here."
Lee, anxious to avoid being caught, recaptured her attention. "Now, they're going to be up here in a minute…"
Amanda's grew wide, and she interrupted him, she wasn't about to loose him, not after everything they'd gone through to get to this moment. "Now, wait a minute. You can't just walk into my life, hand me a package, tell me to give it to the man in the red hat, tell me that you love me and then walk out of my life again."
"No," Lee smiled and leaned in, capturing her lips with his. The passionate kiss they shared only confirmed the fact that his words were true. He really did love her. Breaking apart, Lee's voice took on a serious tone. "Look, I'll get word to you."
"I'm going with you," Amanda interrupted once again.
Lee shook his head and stated firmly, "No."
Amanda wasn't going to back down, "Yes."
"No"
"Yes"
Knowing there was no way he was going to put her in any danger, he had to make her listen. "No! Forget it!" He looked her square in the eye. "I'm going to a place that is so deep, you may lose your name, your way…everything," Lee stated with all the conviction he could muster. Not wanting to turn this into a fight, he softened his voice, "Now Alexi thought he had me today…"
Amanda nodded knowing that he was right and whispered, "I know."
"He won't miss twice," Lee continued.
"I know."
Lee's eyes furrowed, and the worry he was feeling came through in his words, "I don't even know what he looks like anymore…I can't baby you out there."
Amanda jumped in, "You won't have to baby me … look…"
The rest of the memory quickly trailed off, as Amanda's eyes popped open and she proclaimed, "Baby me?"
Abruptly she sat up and let her legs fall over the side of the bed. 'Baby me,' echoed in her mind. 'I'm his partner. I've saved his life more times than I count.' She told herself as her anger began to rise. Glancing over at Lee's sleeping form and realizing that her abrupt movement hadn't even caused him to stir, only added fuel to the fire. 'I saved his butt that afternoon at Harry's when Larry Crawford might have done who knows what, if I hadn't thrown that baseball through the window. What about the time I shot that net and kept Lee and Francine from being shot by O'Keefe in that warehouse.' That thought caused her to pause, and her anger slowly began to fade. If she hadn't been with Lee the first time they had met with O'Keefe, he wouldn't have insisted on Francine being there and then Francine wouldn't have gotten into trouble pretending to be her. Maybe that incident was her fault. Hadn't Lee said on a number of occasions that trouble always had a way of finding her? If she weren't around to get them into trouble, then she wouldn't have to help find a way to get them out of trouble. Did Lee really feel he had to baby her? What if he really did feel that way? Had she made a mistake in coming with him? Would he truly be better off without her? What if something went wrong tomorrow? She'd never be able to live with herself.
What about her family? They had no idea why she'd run off. How would she explain everything to them if all hell broke loose tomorrow and she was arrested for treason, or at the very least for evading capture? She knew the Agency was watching her family now, she had seen the agents at the playground watching Phillip and Jamie. That little detail had made her feel better regarding their safety, but what about Lee's safety. Maybe she would be doing more harm than good tomorrow. Her thoughts were interrupted as she felt the bed move, and realized that Lee was finally waking up.
"Amanda," he gently said her name. "Come back to bed."
Amanda couldn't bring herself to look at him. Shaking her head, she needed to know the truth. "Do you really feel you have to baby me when we're out in the field?" her voice held a tinge of hurt.
Yawning, Lee rubbed his eyes. "Amanda…what are you talking about?" Reaching out, he tried to pull her back into their earlier embrace. When his attempt failed, and Amanda moved further away from him, Lee reached over and turned on the lamp next to the bed.
"Don't you trust me enough to know by now that I can take care of myself?" She asked, fighting back tears. Tears that were a muddled mix of confusion, hurt and anger.
Lee cautiously moved his legs over the side of the bed and attempted to sit next to her. When she didn't budge, he inched a little closer, wrapping his arm around her shoulder. "Amanda, I trust you like I've never trusted anyone." He moved his free hand and turned her head to look at him. "Don't you know that by now? What brought this on, anyway?"
Amanda stood up and moved to sit on the stool of the kitchen bar. "I was trying to forget about tomorrow … for a little while … trying to get myself to fall asleep. I was thinking of a very pleasant moment." She paused and looked at him. She could see the questioning look in his eyes. "I was remembering what you said … what we said to each other in my bedroom the other day."
Lee looked puzzled, "Amanda, I told you I loved you, not that I didn't trust you." He rose and started closing the distance between them.
"I know that Lee, and that's why I chose that memory to think about. I guess, now that I had a few minutes to really remember that afternoon, I remembered something else. When I told you that I wanted to come with you, you told me that you wouldn't be able to baby me. 'Baby me,' that's what you said, Lee." Her voice held an edge to it. He trusted her, that's what he had just said, so why did he feel the need to coddle her. She had to know the truth. "Do you really feel you have to baby me when we're out in the field?"
Lee stood in front of her and put a finger on her chin, trying to get her to look him in the eyes. "Amanda, I love you. I guess 'baby' wasn't the best choice of words." His face took on an almost guilty expression. "I worry about you. I feel responsible for you." Realizing that he was going down the wrong path, he quickly added, "You're my partner." Amanda responded by making the eye contact he had hoped for. "It took me a long time to realize just how much you mean to me. I don't want to lose you."
The corners of Amanda's mouth turned up slightly. "I don't want to lose you, either." She knew that Lee wasn't used to being completely honest with anyone, and she could see his inner struggle as he gazed into her eyes. She was being silly, wasn't she? He loved her, but those two words had really hurt and she needed a little more reassurance. Sensing that Lee needed her full attention, she swallowed her pride and let herself relax, just a little.
Lee raised his hand up to her face, and gently caressed her cheek. "The other day, when you said you were willing to come with me, for a brief moment, I wasn't going to argue with you, but then the agent in me spoke up. I needed to protect you. The fact that I'm a trained agent and you're not…"
"I know that, Lee," Amanda interrupted. "Don't you think I know that? But trained agent or not, you need me. I know the risks, but you're the reason that I kept coming back. Day after day, I put myself in danger to help you…to make sure nothing happens to you."
"Amanda," his tone turned serious. "I meant what I said earlier. I'm more than glad you're here. I don't think I'd be able to get through this … tomorrow … without you. After all that's happened in the last two days, this afternoon with Billy…" he looked down at the delicate hands in his, "with you here, by my side … I know I'm not alone."
Amanda, still nursing a small amount of doubt, needed a little more reassurance, "Yeah, but you'd be better off without someone you have to baby."
Lee looked into her eyes, "Haven't you been listening to me? I need you. Not just because you're my partner, but because I love you."
"But…"
Lee let go of her left hand and brought a finger to her lips. "I was wrong … no, I was scared of losing you … of putting you in the line of danger. That's why I said what I said." Lifting her up slightly, he forced her to get off the stool and stand in front of him. Taking her in his arms he pulled her into a loose embrace. "If it weren't for you … if you hadn't been with me this afternoon, Dr. Smith and his boys might just have caught me." Looking her in the eye, he whispered. "I need you. I need you more than I've ever needed anyone. I love you, I trust you, and there's no one I would rather have watching my back, especially in a situation as dangerous as tomorrow's going to be."
The conviction in his voice, and the love she saw in his eyes made Amanda realize that she was letting her fears of tomorrow's confrontation get to her. Sighing, she admitted, "Maybe I'm just over-reacting." Taking strength from Lee's words and presence, she put her head on his chest.
"You're a much braver person than you give yourself credit … no, than I give you credit for," Lee whispered, the love and confidence he felt for her was evident in his voice. "I respect you more than you could ever imagine, and I trust you with my life. You were the one who convinced me to give Billy another chance. That's why I'm having him meet us at the stadium tomorrow." He paused and looked away shyly. "I have a confession. I once told Harry that I'd follow you blindly through…"
"A blizzard…" Amanda finished with him.
Lee pulled back, and as Amanda raised her face to gaze at him she saw the confused look on his face. "I know, Harry told me," she replied sheepishly, "during that incident with Gregory and Harry's pardon from President Eisenhower."
"I see," Lee shook his head and then leaned down and placed a kiss on her nose.
Amanda laid her head back on Lee's chest. "I guess I kind of let my fears get the better of me. What almost happened today was one of the reasons I made the decision to come with you. The thought of you out here, on your own … the thought that something really bad could happen to you and I'd never know … was too much to bear."
Lee smiled. Kissing the top of her head he tightened his arms around her. "You were pretty convincing."
Amanda pulled back a little to look up at him. "I was?"
Lee let his smile widen. "Yes. Don't you remember what you said to me after I made that blunder?"
Amanda shrugged, "I guess my memory seemed to block out the rest of that afternoon, after remembering your comment."
Lee looked into her brown eyes again. "You said, and I quote, 'You won't have to baby me. I'm gonna watch your back just like I always do. We work best as a team.'"
A twinkle sparkled in her eyes as she remembered her own words. "That's right, we do. If I remember correctly, I've gotten you out of more than a few tough situations using my own unique skills."
"Oh, and unique they are," Lee laughed lightly.
Amanda smiled. "I love you." Bringing her arms up, she pulled his head down and captured his lips in a passionate kiss—a kiss that was full of need and want and longing.
Pulling back, Lee took a deep breath. They both knew that it would be very easy to succumb to their desires. But now was not the time. Their first time was going to be special and under more romantic circumstances.
Lee's voice held an edge of desire as he spoke. "Come on. We need to get some rest. Tomorrow is a big day."
Amanda nodded and accepted his hand as he led her back into bed. As they resumed their position from earlier, spooning against one another, Lee snuggled her closer to him. "I love you, Amanda King," he whispered.
"I love you, too" Closing her eyes, she felt nothing but the warmth of his love. The doubts were gone, and she was prepared to face tomorrow, side by side with her partner, and soul mate.
The End …(of the filler, that is J )