Title: Winner at a loser's game
Pairing: KylexJames
Warnings: It's slash, obviously ^^ I don't know about mature content, but they do swear a lot. But none of it'll scare you... I hope xD
Disclaimers: I don't own CHERUB, nor do I own Bruce, Kyle or James (if I did, I'd make them kiss a lot more often! xD 3) I don't make any money with this… and uh… stay out of my bed! Òó
Bruce and Kyle make a bet, which doesn't go exactly as planned. Or so Kyle thinks.
This was inspired by the "20 things Kyle should not do/say to James" by .twilighters. It's written entirely for my own fun, mainly because I just LOVE Kyle and James! It's meant to be some sort of Humor/Romance, I suppose, so if you're not laughing or "aww"-ing, you either misunderstood something or found my writing shitty! ^^ A special thanks to Ben and Alex for beta'ing! You guys are great! :D
And of course we can't forget to thank Rob for inventing these brilliant characters! *bows* I'm eternally grateful for that! :D

"You're mad, Bruce," he concluded, throwing his head back against the headboard, crossing his arms in defeat. He had no further arguments – and no further need for argumentation, he thought.

"Come on! It'll be fun! James will freak out when he wakes up!" Bruce said encouragingly, sticking out his right hand, smiling evilly. Kyle raised his eyebrows.

"Yes! And especially if I'm on top of him!" Bruce grinned when Kyle added: "Freak!"

Then he began to beg again. Kyle wasn't the violent kind of guy – he wouldn't just hit Bruce because he was an idiot (Hey! If he could ignore James' idiocy, Bruce shouldn't be a problem to him at all!). This time, however, Bruce was really getting on his nerves. Did he know that James was his weak spot? Or was it just a random act of stupidity? Kyle didn't dare to ask, fearing for the questions it'd raise afterwards.

"You know that you're one of the most boring teenagers I've ever met?" Bruce asked sourly, crossing his arms. Kyle rolled his eyes.

"What can you do? I'm a boring person!" Kyle stated ironically. Bruce didn't seem to find his answer acceptable, and went silent for a couple of minutes before a wide, evil smirk showed on his face.

"Alright, then," he said, a disturbingly scornful edge to his voice. "Then we'll make a bet of it!"

Kyle cocked an eyebrow and opened his mouth to answer.

"Or maybe you're afraid you'll lose," Bruce said, getting all overdramatic.

"Maybe you're afraid that you can't do it!"

Kyle sulked at him, and tried his best to ignore it. Bruce knew that he hated to refuse a bet – Kyle was the worst loser on the planet. He couldn't even stand the thought that he could've lost the bet. He scowled at Bruce's smile, and tried to control the temptation to start a fight with Bruce.

"I'm not afraid," he sneered, considering just how childish that sounded, but forcing him not to care at the moment. "And let it go, I'm not gonna do it!"

Bruce snorted, smiled sarcastically, and then nodded wittily.

"I see," he said musingly, "It's James who's the problem. You're afraid he'll get mad at you," Bruce eyes gleamed as he knew he'd done his final part of persuasion. "You're afraid of a little risk! You're afraid of getting into trouble!"

Kyle gritted his teeth. Did he have to do it to James? Why couldn't it be someone else for a change? What could he possibly have done to deserve being tortured like this? And why did he want more than anything to say "Hell, let's do it!" instead of something more like: "Get the hell out of my room!"?

I can't believe I'm going to do this.

"Just… let's go. And no funny comments, Brucie, or I'll make sure you'll be sweeping the locker rooms for the rest of your days!"

Bruce grinned and handed the other boy his hand.


Kyle shook it reluctantly.



It was easy to unlock James' door with his lock pick, and Kyle had done it a thousand times – although he'd never tell James.

'Well, that was easy,' he thought unenthusiastically. 'So far, so good. Now I just need to change his clothes.'

Wow, it really did sound as crazy in his head as it had done when Bruce had first said it. He really shouldn't be doing this.

Kyle smirked if it all went well, James would get a heart-attack when he woke up tomorrow morning. Maybe he should've considered bringing a camera with him.

'Or, more specifically, in five hours.'

Kyle closed the door behind him and entered the room completely, thanking god that James was a heavy sleeper as he emptied the bag he'd carried with him on the floor. He'd only brought a new sheet with him. Bruce had taken advantage of Kyle hating to lose. There was no way he could do this. The only real problem, however, was to get his own clothes off and the replace them with James' without waking him up. Kyle didn't mind the breaking in to James' room at all. That was just about as easy as anything. But switching clothes with James... well, if James didn't wake up and kill him, he'd probably have to kill himself after this.

Kyle cautiously lifted James' cover, realizing he was only wearing his boxer briefs and a t-shirt. Shit.

Right. This was why he'd never walked in while James was asleep.

'Just try to focus on his face. Just ... keep your eyes off his body.'

Kyle pulled his own t-shirt off, and walked around James' bed to try and find a proper angle. After a minute or so, Kyle clenched his teeth, and cursed under his breath.

It wasn't the first time he'd imagined being on top of James, but he'd never thought it'd be like this. As he stepped closer to James, he could feel his insides turning at James' smell – why did it have to be this good? And, more importantly, would Bruce mind if he drugged James? Kyle knew that when he'd first climbed on top of him, there was no going back if James woke up.

Come on. When! When he wakes up! Kyle sneered at himself, swinging his leg over James and placing himself on his hips. He sucked in a breath between his teeth, finding that he'd have to be careful to not breathe through his nose. It was as if James' scent itself was trying to get him in trouble – big trouble.

"Focus," he murmured as lowly as possible, trying to lift James and get his shirt off. He knew he'd have to close his eyes – Kyle could already feel how this was affecting him badly.

Trembling, with shaking hands and a disturbing feeling in the lower parts of his body, Kyle grabbed the edge of James' plain, white t-shirt, pressing his eyes forcefully together and trying to think of every unsexy thing he could.

'Okay! Uh... food! Meatballs! ... James' balls... No! Burgers! Mayo! James hates mayo!' Lifting the shirt slowly, Kyle's head became messier and messier, as more disturbing thoughts tried to invade his mind. 'Something that could be mistaken for mayo, erupting from James as he groans loudly and... Control yourself, dammit!'

Kyle felt the little drops of sweat rolling down his chest and back, the thin fabric itching between his fingers. He tightened his grip, and pulled up the shirt, exposing James' muscular chest. Oh god, why, oh why, did that boy have to work out that much?

'No-no-no-no-no! Unsexy! Think... hairy arses! ... James arse... just beneath him... No! Tits! Think tits! James nipples... peaking just the slightest through his t-shirt because of the cold air against his slightly exposed skin... '

Kyle sucked in another breath, this time forgetting not to smell, inhaling the sweet scent that hung in the air. He leaned in, sticking his nose into the t-shirt, sucking in every particle of that alluring fragrance, cursing himself silently because he knew he shouldn't. He had to control himself. He had to lean back, take the t-shirt off, replace it with his own.

Kyle went through the plan in his mind, realizing that it was no good. His body was giving up, his senses were begging him to give in and touch... oh just touch that smooth, pale skin, just stroke it, feel it...

He sighed, gritted his teeth and pressed his eyes together, but the image of the half-naked James was imprinted on his mind. He let go of the shirt, and let his fingers touch James bared chest briefly, only running over it like a quick blow from the wind.

His skin felt unfairly smooth beneath Kyle's fingertips, and he couldn't resist the painfully strong temptation to just feel his muscles against his palms. This was so bad, Kyle acknowledged – but how could he fight it?

It was as if some toxic was running through his veins, blurring his thoughts, like something other than himself was controlling his moves. He gasped for a breath and fiddled with the fabric of James' t-shirt yet again, trying to get control over his body. He failed, of course, as he felt himself react to the friction between his and James' crotches.

'Oh god, no, please no... Come on... unsexy! Dammit! Get your act together!'

Kyle realized he was panting, and that he would have to do some serious explanation if James woke up. Why was he so weak? Damn that boy! He could mess with his mind entirely without even being awake!

'Right, but you already knew that! Just... get his shirt off! It's an order! ... Okay, no military-talk.'

Kyle grabbed the shirt firmly again, ignoring that James' all-too alluring scent was messing up his mind and making him feel somewhat dizzy. He counted to three as silent as he could, his breathing uneven and his hands trembling worse than ever. After this, he probably wouldn't speak to James for a couple of weeks. Or months... Or years.

Kyle clenched his teeth and pressed his eyelids together again when he exposed the rest of James' chest, pulling the shirt feverishly over James' head, violently and abruptly. He realized moments later that he should never have done so.

Kyle moved awkwardly backwards, his eyes widely opened, his mind blank before he began cursing himself to hell inwardly. He tried to jump off James, but realized that was harder than it looked like.

'Shit, oh, shit-shit-shit-shit!'

"Ouch!" Kyle exclaimed unwillingly, when he realized his foot was stuck somewhere beneath the mattress. James eyes opened widely and turned to stare at Kyle. He blinked for two seconds before he comprehended what was happening. Kyle thought that was rather impressive, since he wasn't completely sure of what was going on himself.

"What ... the ... fuck are you doing?" He shrieked, his voice hoarse and thick from sleep, but high-pitched of... shock? Surprise? "Kyle!" James held out his arms and tried to push the other boy off him, without much success, though.

'No way! There's no fucking way you're getting busted now!' Kyle thought, getting more and more desperate by the minute.

"Shhh!" He hushed, waving frantically with his arms at James, who was beginning to get real loud. Kyle remembered he was still on top of him. He needed to think clear, but all he could think of what silencing James and not waking up then entire campus and its staff.

"James, calm down, it's just me!" He whispered, his eyes flickering briefly towards the door, his hands pressed against James' naked chest.

"Oh!" James sneered hysterically, "It's just you! Now I'm not afraid that someone's raping me anymore!"

Kyle held back laughter, and realized how easy that was, taken in mind that James' voice had become all squeaky and shaky. Kyle prayed that they hadn't woken anyone up.

He shushed him again, and lowered his voice as he spoke to James.

"Be quiet!" He ordered him. "I'm not raping you!"

James let out a hysterical laughter, and spoke with a raspy voice as he eyed Kyle darkly.

"Well, then, what the fuck are you doing on top of me half-naked, undressing me and... and..." James flustered and looked away, biting his lip.

"Oh... that." Kyle mumbled, feeling his cheeks turn into a light pink. "I... uh... It's a long story!" James eyed him icily, and Kyle guessed that his stuttering, incoherent babbling wasn't a suitable explanation.

"Oh, but please tell me! I'm just so looking forward to hear it!" James snarled, moving beneath him.

'No-no-no-no! Don't move! For god's sake, DONT MOVE!'

"James, shut up!" He hissed. "You really want to get ... uh... caught... in this situation?!" Kyle could feel how he wasn't thinking clear anymore and how his body was conflicting with his mind, responding and acting completely on its own.

'Control yourself! DOWN! NOW!!'

"Well, I'm sure they'll all hate me for being raped by my best friend!" James said accusingly. "And if you don't move, I'm gonna scream!" James kicked with his legs to fight Kyle off, and Kyle bit his lip.

"James, cut it out!"

"GET OF –" James had opened his mouth to yell at Kyle, obviously panicking, when Kyle had followed a sudden impulse to shut James up personally.

Without thinking, he leaned in quickly, and pressed his lips against James' (Oh, shit, they were so soft!). James' objection was muffled, and Kyle was about to let go when he could feel James giving in, his muscles tensing for one moment, and then relaxing. His lips parted the slightest, and Kyle almost lost his breath when he could feel the other boy sneaking his tongue into his mouth – was he kissing him back?

He sighed, and didn't know what to do. Then his body moved for him, leading his hands upwards, reaching James' face and cupping it cautiously. James was kissing him back! What the fuck was going on here?!

He was shaking, and realized he hadn't breathed for seconds, when he sucked in a breath between two kisses. James opened his eyes widely, and glared right into Kyle's. The panic was almost painted in the blue iris.

James broke the kiss, and placed his palms on Kyle's chest, as to push him away, panting as if they'd just run 50 laps. Kyle licked his lips briefly, supporting himself weakly. Then James opened his mouth, as if he wanted to speak.

"I... fuck..."

"You? You really want to?" Kyle asked huskily with a wide grin on his face. James dug his fingers into Kyle's skin and punched his fist into Kyle's bared chest.

"You're sick, Kyle!" He said bitterly, his voice strained and lower than before. Kyle rolled his eyes and fell down beside James, after twisting his food out of its trap.

"You know, that's the first time someone's said that after kissing me," he informed James, smiling, while trying his best to sound hurtful. "Was I really that awful?"

James leaned over, and smirked at him.

"Freak," he said, before claiming Kyle's lip yet again. Kyle knew he hadn't stripped off James and changed their clothes – as Bruce had originally dared him to – but as he laid in the darkness with his arms around the other boy, he didn't feel much like a loser.

No, Kyle had definitely won this time.