I don't own any of the characters or ideas from Greenacres…so no suing!
I'm really not sure how I'm going to take this so please tell me what you think. I was leaning towards a little Lisa/Eb romance, but the innocence of this show is making it a bit difficult. Thanks, and enjoy! Constructive criticism is appreciated!
Morning was breaking over the horizon as Eb yawned and stretched his way out of the barn and over to the Douglas' house. Peeking into the window, he could see Lisa already standing at the stove with another gooey mess. He loved to stare at her. She was nothing like the other girls in the area…she was something special.
"Hot cakes again? Yuck." Eb said to himself as he continued to peep into the window.
"Oh! Good morning dahling!" Lisa lilted as her husband stormed in the kitchen.
"Uh, yeah. Good morning Lisa." Mr. Douglas drowsily replied.
"Some-sing vong?" Lisa questioned with a genuinely concerned look on her face.
"Uh, no… Well, yeah. Actually…my corn hasn't sprouted"
"Vell, corn can't shout. It hasn't got a mouth…it has ears but…"
"Lisa!" Oliver cried before composing himself, "not 'shouted'… 'sprouted'".
"Vell, why would you want it to spout? We already have a pump for vater!"
"LISA!" Oliver yelled once again.
"Maybe it won't spout because of all the shouting!"
"WHAT SHOUTING! Corn doesn't shout! I said spouting…I mean, ahh…" he rubbed his forehead, "I mean sprouting".
"Oh, so you finally agree that corn can't shout?!"
"See, that's all the shouting I was talking about! Who can sproust with so much noise?!"
"Finally, sprousting!….I mean…" Oliver had reached his last nerve. He tried to start again, but Eb had seen the whole ordeal and was ready to put an end to this lovers' quarrel.
"Howdy Mrs. Douglas" Eb gushed. He loved the way she looked in the morning in her negligee, or in the afternoon in her two-piece outfits, or even…heck, he loved the way she looked at all times.
"Oh! Good morning Eb! Vould you like some hot cakes?"
"Ug…no thanks Mrs. Douglas," his face paled, "my stomach is still upset about the last batch." Mrs. Douglas turned back to the stove with a shrug. "Oh, howdy Mr. Douglas. I almost forgot, your corn started spouting!"
"You mean 'sprouting'?!" Oliver replied angrily.
"Naw. There's water everywhere. The whole crop is a few inches under water! I never knew corn could do that!"
Oliver groaned, "I've already written to the head of agriculture about the flooding around here. I've followed their books to the 't' on irrigation and drainage but they won't return my letters! Well, I'm going to go down there and have a word with them about all of this."
"I wouldn't bother with that Mr. Douglas. They're the ones that made the other farms drain into this one in the first place," Eb stated.
"WHAT?! Why in the world would they do that?"
"'Cause Mr. Haney made a deal with them to use his farm."
"Well, I'm going to go down there and fix all of this if it's the last thing I do!" Mr. Douglas yelled.
"Not vithout some-sing to eat!" Mrs. Douglas said sternly. Mr. Douglas shook his head in annoyance.
"Gee Mr. Douglas. I'm sorry about the water," Eb said apologetically.
"Oh, that's o.k. Eb. I'll take care of it," replied a weary Oliver.
"Don't vorry Eb, he's just mad about the corn not sprousting."
"I thought it wasn't shouting," Eb questioned.
"No. You see, corn can't shout. It hasn't any mouth…"
"ARG!" Mr. Douglas cut her off as he left the room—hands thrown up in the air in exasperation.