DUH DUH DUH DA- DA DAAAAAA!
Jasper: EMMETT! LOOK AT THIS!
Emmett: *Races over to computer* WHAT?
Jasper: Look… *stares in awe at the Google home page*
Jasper: YEAH. It's epic. Let's look stuff up!
Emmett: YEAH! Try… llamas!
Jasper: Okay! *types in llamas* AWWWW! Pictures of llamas!
Emmett: :O, let's go get bubbles!
Jasper: Random, but okay!
Emmett: WAIT! *types Virtual Bubblewrap into Google*
Emmett: *starts to pop virtual Bubblewrap*
Jasper: OMG, THAT'S SOOOOOO MUCH FUN :O!
Emmett: I KNOW! You don't find this shit on Yahoo!
Jasper: Yahoo is inadequate.
Emmett: OOOOOOH, big word! I know what we can do on Google!
Emmett: Find Chuck Norris.
Jasper: LET'S DO EET. *Types in "find Chuck Norris"*
Emmett: Are you feeling lucky?
Jasper: I am. *Clicks the "I'm feeling lucky" button* HEE HEE HE- wait, what?
Emmett: Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.
Jasper: WELL then… I guess someone of that much supreme kickassidness cannot be found. What do we search now?
Felyx: *looks in* Write blue waffle then click I'm Feeling Lucky.
Emmett: *does that* OH MY FUCKING JELLY UNICORN! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING?
Felyx: Lmfao. *goes back to wherever*
Jasper: SCARRRRRRED FOR LIFE *Faints*
Emmett: It looks so weird… *tilts head* eeeeeeehehehehewwwwww…
Jasper: Okay, I think I'm good… *looks at screen* WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T YOU CLOSE OUT OF THAT? *Faints again*
Emmett: That did NOT make me feel lucky. Just disturbed. *Closes window* I have to cleanse my mind. *Goes into solitude*
Felyx: PSST, Maelee!
Felyx: Let's have some fun with Jasper.
Jasper: Wha… eww… meh… eww…
Felyx: Take these waffles and throw them at him.
Maelee: Why do they have blue food coloring in them?
Felyx: DON'T QUESTION MEEEEE.
Jasper: I think I'm good now. Now I shall g- *Gets hit in face with blue waffle* OH MY FUCK! THEY'RE ATTACKING MEEEEEE!
Maelee: HEE HEE HEE! *Chucks waffles*
Jasper: NOOOOOO! *Hides under couch*
Felyx: THERE'S NO ESCAPE! *Throws waffles at him*
Felyx: Now tape this print out of it to his face so he can see it!
Maelee: *tapes to his face*
Jasper: *dies* X_x
Maelee: I FEEL EVILLLLL. MWUAHAHAHAHAAA!
Felyx: I thought you would. Evilness is quite amusing, don't ya think?
Jasper: *comes back to life as a zombie* BRAS! BRAS! BRAAAAAAS!
Felyx: What. The. Hell?
Maelee: I'm not gonna ask. I'm just going to roundhouse kick him in the face *roundhouse kicks Jasper in the face*
Jasper: *gets roundhouse kicked in the face* OH SNAP!
Emmett: *Returns from mind cleansing solitude* I'm back, everyone- what the hell? Why are there WAFFLES? Why are they BLUE? NOOOOO THE MEMORIES! *Rolls around on the floor*
Emmett: *Recovers from emotional scarring* JAZZY BEAR! YOU'RE INJURED! NOOOOOOO! What happened to you, my darling unicorn?
Maelee: I went all Chuck Norris on da fool's face, yo.
Emmett: How DARE YE!
Felyx: He went all zombie and started saying some shit about bras…
Emmett: Of course! The key! I'LL SAVE YOU! *Runs to the bathroom*
Felyx: How the HELL are bras the key?
Emmett: *runs back waving leopard print bra around* I'M BACK!
Maelee: With… a bra… a LEOPARD PRINT bra…
Emmett: THE BRA OF LIFE! *Straps bra on Jasper*
Jasper: *Jumps up* I'm healed! And I look DAMN SEXY! *Dances sexy dance and basks in his sexiness*
Felyx: What the hell?
Jasper: My milkshakes bring all the boys to the yard…
Felyx: *turns into Uber Smexxii Unicorn* WUHOO!
Jasper: *turns into USU and dances*
Felyx: YEAH! MY MILKSHAKE BRINGS ALL THE BOYS TO THE YARD!
Jasper: AND THEY'RE LIKE ITS BETTER THAN YOURS!
Felyx: DAMN RIGHT! IT'S BETTER THAN YOURS!
Jasper: I COULD TEACH YOU, BUT I HAVE TO CHARGE!
Maelee: *Stands there awkwardly* So… cake is good.
Maelee: I had a dream about cake.
Emmett: What happened?
Maelee: I ate cake. It was good. *Watches Jasper and Felyx's Uber Smexxii Unicorn Dance-Off* YOU GO GIRL! WORK THAT UP-DO! OWN IT!
Emmett: Yeah Jasper! That's it! WORK IT GIRLFRIEND! You got this!
Maelee: *flips hair sassily* No, Felyx got this.
Emmett: Oh puh-leeze *snaps in Z formation*
Maelee: Oh no you DIDN'T *snaps in Z formation*
Emmett: Oh yes I DID *snaps*
Maelee: Oh, IT'S ON.
Emmett: Bring it!
*Slap fight commences*
*Felyx and Jasper stop Uber Smexxii Unicorn Dance-Off to stare at slap fight*
Felyx: Okay, I'm bored with this *throws hot soup on slapfight*
Emmett: IT BURNS! *rolls around spastically*
Maelee: SOUP! *noms soup*
Jasper: But what flaaaaaavour?
Felyx: Babycham and human feces.
Maelee: Um… *slowly spits out soup*
Emmett: YOU GOT BELLA TO SHIT IN THE SOUP? EW, MAN!
Felyx: You what now?
Alice: …Well, I felt left out, so…yeah…
Bella: Do vampires spurt out ice cream when they cum?
Edward: BELLA! SUCH THINGS ARE NOT ACCEPTABLE FOR A YOUNG LADY SUCH AS YOU TO TALK ABOUT! I AM ASHAMED OF YOU, I THOUGHT I'D RAISED YOU BETTER!
Bella: *edges towards Alice*
Edward: *starts choking the chicken*
Bella: …No one answered my question
Maelee: SILENCE! *Slaps Bella right in da face*
Bella: *cries* WHYYY?
Maelee: Because you shat in perfectly good soup and I ATE IT *throws up on Bella then flies away as a unicorn*
Emmett: WELL, SOMEONES PMS-ING TODAY!
Maelee: *flies back and throws up rainbows on Emmett* DAMN STRAIGHT I AM!
Emmett: Well, I'm not.
Maelee: *confused* Not what?
Maelee: What was your first clue? When you slept with Jasper, or when you gave him head that time in the disabled cubicle?
Emmett: Oh shit, you saw that?
Emmett: You were in the boys?
Maelee: You were in the girls
Felyx: I got it on camera
Alice: WHYYY? YOU HAVE *ME*! AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH?
Felyx: Of course you are…I just need a lil extra blackmail material :D
Alice: *insane smile* Heh
Felyx: Let's do inappropriate things in Esme's bed
Alice: YES! *whizzzoom*
Emmett: No comment
Edward: *struts over* Sup homedogs?
Jasper: Blue Waffles
Edward: NOOOOOOOO! *sobs into Bella's crotch*
Emmett: You know, that's the closest you're ever gonna get to getting laid, Bella.
Bella: I know
Jasper: It's not too late to change your mind
Felyx: Edward, babe, you do realize you're violating Bella and she's liking it?
Edward: NOOOOOOOOO! *throws self off random cliff*
Jasper: Well, that's a little awkward…
Emmett: Wanna go Google things again?
Jasper: Hell yeah.
*Everyone but Edward struts out the room*
A/N: Wuhoo! Chapter 13 is done! 14 may be up later :D Stay tuned for more adventures!
Disclaimer: I do not own a blue waffle. Nor do I own the combo "Babycham and Human feces" That's off the impossible quiz. Google that if you don't know what it is.