Lithuania shuffled nervously up to his longtime friend. It was now or never...!

"H-Hey, Poland..."

"Hm? Oh, like, hey to you too, Liet!"

"Listen, I-I was wondering...D-Do you want to go out on a date this Friday? As fr-friends, of course."

Poland offered Lithuania a sympathetic look (or what Lithuania thought was such) before opening his mouth to reply. "Gee, Liet, I'm like, super sorry, but I already have a date for that night! Maybe some other time?"

Lithuania's heart floundered like a fish out of water as his mind attempted to make sense of what Poland said. He...already had a date? With who?! Lithuania always kept Polish relations close under his radar, so how could another man sneak into Poland's life?

"A-Ah, is that so...? With who?"

"Ukraine, duh! Seriously, like, who else would it be? Belarus?"

Ah, that made sense. Of course Ukraine would--

Wait.

...WHAT?!

"U-Ukraine?!"

"Again, duh," Poland chuckled. "We've had like, sooo much trouble coordinating our schedules, so we decided to clear this Friday and totally chill together."

"Si-Since when have you and her bee-been seeing each other? And why?!"

Poland couldn't help the bubble of laughter that came as he looked at the frantic, bulged eyes of his brunette companion, leveling them with his calm, half-lidded green eyes. "That's like, a joke, right? Ukraine is so sweet! She's the cutest, nicest babe in the entire world! And her tits are like, TOTALLY huge!"

...He was straight.

...How on Earth...could Poland be straight.

In a fit of confusion and embarrassment, the wild Lithuania fled.