Disclaimer: All recognizable characters, settings and dialogue are property of their respective owners. Any original ideas are property of the author
I gently tugged at Renesmee's shirt as I wished her a fun hunting trip. She waved towards the window, where I knew Edward was watching, then ran to join Carlisle, Esme and Jacob.
Esme had wanted to spend the day with Renesmee, and after setting some stern rules for Jacob. I agreed that he could join them as well.
The other wolves were all spending the day at La Push, and all of my surrogate siblings were on a couples' day out.
I head a small chuckle come from Edward's direction and I sped towards him. As I reached him I carefully wrapped my arms around him from behind, always mindful of my newborn strength.
"What are you chuckling about?" I asked as I pressed my face against his back.
Another chuckle made Edward's frame vibrate, "I was remembering this morning, actually."
Remembering every event from midnight onward, I smiled into his back and squeezed gently as I asked, "Which part are you referring to?"
He swiveled in my grasp, and in turn wrapped his arms around me. Grinning, he told me, "All of it, of course. But I was mostly thinking about Alice's failed attempt at getting you to join her for the shopping-extravaganza-slash-couples'-outing."
Remembering the argument full of teasing and playful pleading, I chuckled as well. "I don't know if I'll ever understand her."
Edward responded with obvious humor in his voice, "Few of us do, but why in particular? Maybe I can help you."
I laughed, choosing a true answer, rather than more banter, "Why anyone would think that I'd rather go shopping in a group than spend the day with you alone is beyond me."
Edward's face abruptly turned serious, "Well, maybe she's hoping that with the prospect of eternity, you'll get sick of me."
I looked back at him, skepticism and disbelief showing on my face.
His face broke from its stern expression and he began to laugh.
I pretended to be offended and gently whacked his arm.
Then I made my face more serious and told him, "Edward, even with eternity before us, I don't think there is any way that I will ever get sick of being with you."
Edward looked back into my eyes, and responded, "And I know, that even if I could live through eternity twice, I would never tire of your company." he pulled me even closer, and spoke softly into my hair, "And that is the absolute truth, I promise."
Hearing him say that was like I had just returned from a long-needed vacation. I felt any tension left in me leave. I sighed, and was completely content.
Edward spoke, "What?"
I pulled away from him slightly, so that I could look into his deep ocher eyes, and smiled softly. "It's nothing." Did he still not know how crucial he was to my existence?
Edward looked at me in a way that said 'Yeah right, it's most definitely something.'
He knew me so well... My smile grew as I grasped his left hand. "You always say the most romantic things. I admit, there have been a couple corny ones, but I know that even those, you mean with all your heart." He had to understand, his words meant so much to me. "Whenever you say things like that, I know that you mean them, and that they come from the depths of your soul. And that is one thing that makes them mean so much to me. They come from your soul. Even you cannot deny that." His eyes seemed to grow deeper, and I began to lose myself in them as I finished. "And the fact that you actually mean them when you say them to me... it takes my unnecessary breath away."
I caught an almost imperceptible twitch at one corner of his mouth as he ran his right hand through my hair, "I truly do mean what I say, yet even the most complex and lengthy speech could not come close to adequately portraying even a fraction of what I actually feel and think."
Again and again, he would stun me with how he regarded me. I often wished that I could have his ability for a moment, and actually see what went on in his head. I lifted myself on my toes and leaned closer to him as I pecked him on the cheek. "And that, Mr. Cullen," I whispered softly, "is what makes me fall in love with you again each day."
He threw his crooked grin my way and asked me quietly "So, what were those grand plans you spoke of earlier?"
My playful mood returned, remembering my idea. I grabbed Edward's other hand, and tugged him up the stairs after me. "We, my dear husband, are going to have an old-fashioned, human-paced moving day," I said with enthusiasm.
"Moving day, huh?" He asked.
I continued towing him in the desired direction, marveling at my ability to go up the stairs backward and not having to worry about breaking my neck. "Well, more of a partial transfer of select items than an actual move," I clarified.
Edward adopted a teasing tone once again, "Ah, I see. What items are we selecting and transferring?"
I stopped and turned, admonishing him with my eyes, "Don't tease Edward, you might regret it later."
I saw the smile trying to sneak through his abashed expression as he apologized, "Sorry, love."
I rolled my eyes, internally laughing and explained, "I thought that we could go through your room and see if there's anything that you want over in our house."
I never got tired of thinking about it like that. It was too much for my birthday of course, but it felt right to have a place of our own to retreat to with Renesmee at night.
We had reached the top of the stairs, and Edward was smiling as he pulled me to his side and said, "Sounds good to me."
Stacks of CDs and records littered the floor of Edward's room, and we were barely halfway through his collection. Obviously thinking along the same lines, my husband turned to me with a smile and said, "I think we need to clear some floor space, Bella. We're running out of surface area to sort on."
Still slightly amazed at how often we thought the same way, I asked him to look for some cardboard boxes. Reminding him to keep it at a believable human speed, of course.
He rolled his eyes at me this time, "Of course Bella. What are you going to do while I'm on the hunt for cardboard?"
I thought for a fraction of a second, then said, "I think I'm going to start clearing out your closet." Seeing as how there was next to no floor space, his closet seemed like the only logical option.
"My closet, huh?"
I grinned at him, giving different answers than had originally occurred to me, "I'm getting a bit tired of looking at CD cases. And I want to pick out a few things to take over to the house."
He threw me another smile, "Whatever you want. Just be sure to leave some relatively comfortable outfits here."
I leaned over, making sure that he could see the teasing expression upon my face as I brushed my fingers across Edward's cheek, "What I want is to finish at a relatively fast human pace so that we can have some more alone time. Time where we can do more than transfer."
He immediately understood my suggestion, and his smile grew. "Your want is my command." He touched my cheek in return and then headed downstairs at a surprisingly human pace. - I was pretty sure that he was going to cheat, so I was careful to keep an ear out for any footsteps that were too fast.
I started humming as I began to tackle Edward's closet, selecting one rack for the clothes we were going to bring to the house. I was steadily working my way towards the back, when I heard Edward return.
"I found a couple of the boxes. I don't know if they'll hold everything, but it's a start." He said as I heard him start to pack music into one of the boxes.
Finding the black button-up shirt that Edward had worn the morning after the meadow brought a smile to my face as I responded, "Well, I can always send you on another hunt later."
Edward chuckled from back in the room, "I suppose you could. How are you doing in there?"
I reached out to touch the tan leather jacket that Edward had offered me in La Bella Italia after he had saved me in Port Angeles. Dim, happy, human memories flooded into my mind as I moved it. I finally caught a glimpse of the back wall of the closet, and answered Edward, "Well, contrary to what I thought upon my entry, your closet does seem to actually have a back wall. And I've almost managed to reach it."
Edward responded right away, a smile in his voice, "I'm surprised. Even I haven't seen the back of my closet for a year or more. Alice always rearranges whenever she feels the family needs to update their style."
The cream colored sweater that Edward had worn that night in Port Angeles was next in line, and I chuckled as I moved it and replied, "Alice will be Alice. How long did it take you to realize that your closet was no longer your own after she joined the family?"
Edward's sparkling laugh rang out in the room again, "Only a couple of months. I think she convinced everyone else before me, though."
I continued going through Edward's clothes until I found the sleeveless white shirt that he had worn on the day we had first visited the meadow together. I tried to move it, but it was stuck on the wall. As I carefully pried it loose, I started to throw another retort at my husband, "Stubborn Edward. Stuck in your habits and..."
The shirt had loosened, but something had fallen from the wall of the closet as well. I carefully put down the shirt, and picked up a piece of paper; it was folded numerous times. I turned it over, and saw Edward's elegant script staring back at me, forming two words: "Living Love."
Curious as to what might be stuck to the back wall of Edward's closet, I slowly unfolded it and began to read. I read slowly, admiring the soft flow of the words.
Oh, sweetly blushing
You are so ever trusting
Take my breath away
The snow on your face
The scent of you in the rain
Perfection is there
That smile will break my heart
Please, do it again
Choosing not to see
The monster that lives inside
Watch for the danger
Whatever I do,
For you, it will always be
You are my life now
I wasn't completely positive that this poem was about me, but thinking back to some of our earliest days together, it seemed to fit.
If I could be moved to tears, I would've resembled a faucet. As it was, my eyes were burning, aching to have to ability to let some of my emotions take a physical form.
I remembered Edward talking about how I smelled in the rain, how he was dangerous, always getting a certain look in his eye whenever I was blushing or smiling at him.
I thought I heard Edward ask something, but was to deep in thought to respond. When I heard my name again, I pulled myself out of my stupor.
"Uh, nothing Edward, hold on a second." If he had hidden it, would he be upset that I had found this?
I refolded the paper and slowly walked back out of the closet. When Edward laid eyes on me, his face broke into a smile. "What took you so long? Did Alice put so many clothes in there that you got lost?"
He was teasing, but I was so moved, I couldn't bring myself to join his levity.
I held out the piece of paper, and asked, "What is this Edward?"
He looked at me, clearly puzzled, "I don't know. Where did you find it?"
I was slightly suspicious; this was in his handwriting, and in his closet - it was highly unlikely that someone else had put it there. Besides, I knew how good of an actor he was. I patiently explained, trying to keep my mind clear of any assumptions.
"It was wedged into a crack on the back wall of your closet, I think. I'm pretty sure that I knocked it loose with all of my shuffling around."
Realization dawned on his face. "Oh," he said as he looked down.
"Oh?" I asked, demanding expansion upon the slim statement.
Edward kept silent, so I asked again, "Edward, what is it?"
He was quiet for a moment more then said, "It's something that I wrote a long time ago." His voice was barely perceptible, but my newborn ears aided me and I heard every word.
I was still a bit confused, "Is it a song?" If he had written it, chances were that it had something to do with music.
Edward seemed to be thinking quickly, then he offered a resigned sigh, "You can just read it, Bella."
Now I was the one who felt a little embarrassed, "I already did." If I was human, I would've been bright red.
Edward looked up to meet my eyes, and asked nervously, "Really?"
What reason on earth would Edward have to uneasy about this? I had no idea, so I asked him.
He glanced away from my face, and spoke quietly, "I suppose I'm worried that you didn't like it."
He had to be playing a joke on me. He didn't look at me again though, so I said, "Edward, you can't be serious."
Edward looked back at me sheepishly, "It's just a poem, Bella."
He actually had insecurity? Unbelievable. But the fact that he held some doubt just made the fact that he had still written it that much more precious to me.
I let my smile break free, and let my love for all that he was show on my face, "Edward, how could I not like it?"
His eyes searched mine, and I let my smile soften, "First of all, you wrote it, and that's plenty right there. But what you say in it as well; it touches my soul, Edward. It's everything from back then all summed up, isn't it?"
I saw the slight relief on his face as he explained further, "Not all, but a crucial part of it, yes. There was no way to put down all my feelings. You understand now how impossible that would be."
He was clearly talking about just how much space in our heads we could dedicate to focusing on one thing, and I understood completely. "I do indeed," I told him with a slight chuckle. Truly curious, I asked him, "When exactly did you write this?"
"That first night that you knew I stayed. After our day in the meadow," he said, looking down, then bringing his eyes back up to mine.
I let the silence stretch as I remembered. Smiling, I said, "I thought that you had just gone home to shower that night."
"Well, that's technically what I did," he responded. "I wrote the poem in your room, after you had stopped sleep talking - for the most part. I came back here with the ulterior motive of hiding that from sight."
"But why?" I asked, I still didn't fully understand.
"Well, my greatest desire was to have it printed or something similar, and make a big deal of it." I sure he would've done it too, if he had truly wanted to. "But for many obvious reasons that would have been too compromising. I also knew that you probably wouldn't like all of the attention that it would garner. Selfishly, I also didn't want to be teased about it by my family. That's why I made sure that they were all otherwise occupied when I hid it." He grinned at me again.
"You most certainly made the right decision," I said, thinking about how little I liked having a fuss made over me. "You knew me better than you thought, even back then."
"Maybe not so well, if I was afraid that you wouldn't like it" Edward said, His crooked smile still on his face.
I returned the smile, "Silly vampire, how could I not like anything that you wrote for me? Especially something as beautiful as this?" I paused for a moment, needing him to truly understand what this meant to me. I took a step closer to Edward, and put one of my hands onto his chest. I looked up into his eyes as I continued, "Edward, this truly is beautiful. - And even if I didn't like it, I don't love you for what you write for me, buy for me, or even what you cooked for me. I love you because you are you."
I let my expression become serious as I continued, "You're an incredible man who is kind, caring, understanding, accepting, forgiving, easy to love, and now-" I thought of the way he was with Renesmee, "an amazing father. That is why I love you Edward. Your talents are just an added plus."
His eyes were boring so deeply into mine, I thought that maybe, just maybe, he was glimpsing the truth of my words.
His face burst into a supremely content smile.
I immediately wondered why, and asked, "What? Why are you grinning?"
He was still looking down at me, and now he wrapped his arms around me, trapping my hand between us. "I was reflecting upon the thought that we have the rest of forever to spend together."
A small smile blossomed on my own face as I thought about this as well, "That would be something to grin about, wouldn't it?"
"Yes, indeed. I am more than delighted that you liked the poem, Bella-"
I interrupted him softly to correct his statement, "Loved. I loved the poem."
Edward's arms tightened around me as he continued, "Of course, but I still love you more than words can express. It is a very good thing that we have forever because that might be how long it takes me to find an adjective or expression that could adequately convey how I see you and feel about you."
Tingles of pure joy ran up and down my spine as I realized again how truly he meant every word. Edward ever so slightly released his grip on me so that our eyes could meet.
I stopped breathing, and Edward leaned down, exhaling gently onto my face. The pleasant scent that was only Edward's surrounded me and increased my level of pure contentment as he continued, "You are mine forever Bella Cullen, and I will love you for eternity and beyond."
I started breathing again, just to smell him more clearly, and imprint this moment in my mind. So many emotions and sensations were coursing through my mind and body that I didn't speak but nodded my head. I let the emotions flicker across my face at an impossible rate as I gently took my arm from out between us, and then twisted both of my arms around Edward's neck.
He gently pulled my face towards his, and I slowly let the paper with the poem fall from my hands.
Time seemed to stand still as our lips gently melded and Edward mumbled, "Forever."
- Author's Note:
Hey everybody! This is the companion piece for Hidden Sentiments part IV, from Bella's PoV obviously. My apologies for all of the dialogue repeats from Hidden Sentiments, but it was a necessary evil. I tried to cut some of it out, but not much of it could be done away with. Anyways, I really hope that you liked it! I love constructive criticism, so don't be afraid to be a harsh (but correct) critic/reviewer.
*****All readers: If you haven't already, I'd love it if you dropped me a review; and feel free to check out my pieces that fit with this story: "Hidden Sentiments," "Hunting," and "Anxiety."
Chapter info notes:
This part takes place in BD, obviously; But it is during the three months of happiness (mentioned in the beinning of chapter 27, Travel Plans). S.M. provided no scenes or dialogue, so it's all from my imagination. A chapter from scratch, if you will. I am hoping that I did an all-right job of keeping the characters relatively true to how they are portrayed in the books.
~Thanks go to my God, and everyone who has favorited, or reviewed this story!