Let's give this another try

By Miss P

Summary: Sequel to "I am crying for you"
The warmth of my hands against her cold skin must have frightened her.
I had pushed her too far, and she bit me… Jacob/Victoria


AN: The story is based on the song "So cold, by Breaking Benjamin."

Disclaimer: I don't own any Twilight character

Written in Jacob's POV

*

She was gone, and I was going out of my mind. I didn't just miss her. It hurt physically to be separated from her. It had been a month, and it was as if she had never existed. The pack had told me to get over it, but both they and I knew it wasn't an option. I was in it for life. That was what it meant to imprint, even when the object of your imprint was a coldhearted bloodsucker.

I had almost given up on life completely, when I suddenly spotted something in the distance. I sharpened my eyes and my heart started to beat faster. First, I thought I had seen it wrong, but then it was there again, a flicker of red in the green forest.

I moved so slow it didn't even register in my brain. It wasn't until I stood so close that I could, with only a few more steps, reach out to touch her; that I realized what I had done.

"I missed you," I whispered. It was an understatement, and it was the most brainless thing to say. She just stared at me with those hollow red eyes. The ache in my heart was back. I couldn't stand to see her like this. I just wanted her to be happy. Whatever that meant in her world, I still couldn't guess.

"Victoria…" I couldn't continue. I didn't even know what to say to her.

She retreated, making the gap between us bigger. Automatically I followed. She hissed, and I stopped dead. If distance was what she wanted, how could I deny her that?

"Why did you come back?"

She didn't answer.

"Are you going to go away again?"

Still no answer.

"Damn it Vic…" My hands flew out in a frustrated gesture, and she was gone before I had realized what I had done. "Fuck!" I hit the nearest tree. Then I made a quick decision. I couldn't let her get away; I couldn't stand losing her again. With one swift movement I pulled my shorts off. I changed form in the air, and my legs were running before they even hit the ground.

I had completely lost track of time. I didn't know if I had been running for a minute or an hour, but it didn't matter. I knew I had found her when the sickening sweet scent reached my nose again.

It must have taken less than a second to change back and put my clothes on, but it still felt too slow for me. I needed to see her again. I needed to make her understand how much she meant to me.

"I'm not going to hurt you, don't run," I spoke in a low voice as I carefully moved toward her. Her whole body was tense, as if she was prepared to escape any second. Her eyes followed my every move.

"Just listen to me, I want to explain," and I did, whether she wanted to hear it or not. She needed to know why I couldn't stay away from her.

*

A low vibrating thunderclap broke the almost magical moment my words had created. I looked around confused. It wasn't until I realized she had her back pressed against a large rock; I understood where the sound must have come from.

"Just give it a chance," I took a small step closer. "Give me a chance."

For a moment I thought that she would run off, but instead she tilted her head and looked at me, her eyes looked… curious. I felt a tiny ray of hope come to life inside of me.

"So you're honestly not planning to rip my head off?" it was the first time I'd ever heard her speak, and I couldn't stop myself from laughing. She immediately tensed; attempting to back away only to realize the rock stopped her.

"Of course not, how many times do I have to tell you that?" I chuckled. "I love you," I whispered the last words so low I wasn't sure she could hear them.

But she gasped, staring up at me with a stunned look on her white face. "Love?" she looked so bewildered that for a moment I started to doubt she even knew what the word meant.

I nodded.

"No one has ever said that to me before…" she mumbled, probably to herself.

I reached out. I knew I was risking it all, but I had to touch her. Her eyes followed my every move, and when my hand finally landed in her orange hair, she flinched.

"It's okay," I soothed. She stood frozen for a long time; then she relaxed and made a small trembling nod, confirming what I had just told her. It was okay. I couldn't be happier.

"Is this even possible? That we could make it wor…" she cut herself off mid sentence as my hand came in contact with her skin. Then everything happened so fast I didn't have time to think. In some blurred state of mind, I could tell my hand was resting on her neck, and she looked terrified. I thought she was going to escape, and tried to hold on to her. She could easily have pushed me away, but I didn't think of that at the time.

"Victoria! Calm down, it's okay!" I put my other hand on her shoulder, not thinking about what the contact of our skin did to her. The hand on her neck went up to her face, covering both her chin and cheek as I was forcing her to look at me.

She gasped out loud, almost screamed and my head was starting to spin. What was happening?

"Vic…" I couldn't finish her name. The only thing I could focus at was the sudden, sharp pain in my wrist. With a scream, I let go of her, staggering backwards. Everything was spinning and it didn't take long until I collapsed on the forest floor. I tried to think, to recall what had happened. But all I could see before me was her terrified red eyes. It was then it hit me. There had never been a danger. It had been me. The warmth of my hands against her cold skin must have frightened her. I had pushed her too far, and she bit me.

It was her venom that was burning in my veins. It was her venom that was killing me. But yet, I couldn't think of me.

"Victoria…" I could only manage a painful whisper.

Everything was quiet. I tried to lift my head to search for her, but I couldn't see anything else than the swirling green around me. She was gone.

My heart was pounding in my chest so hard I started to think it was going to explode. It felt like I had a fever. I was burning up, from the inside and out. I tried to focus on something. But the trees were dancing faster and faster before my eyes, making it impossible. Soon the green faded and the darkness threatened to devour me. I desperately tried to stay conscious.

Then, out of nowhere, I felt the presence of someone. It was like a wind. A cold breeze sweeping past me.

"What's happening to you?" the wind asked. "Are you going to… change?"

It wasn't the wind, it was her. My Victoria. She had come back. It should have amused me, if I hadn't been in so much pain. Did she honestly think that a wolf could turn into a bloodsucker? Stupid!

But I didn't laugh; I was too busy clinging to the little life I had left.

"It's… killing… me…" I managed to choke out.

She gasped softly. Then I could feel her cold fingertips against my wound. I could tell she was trembling as she cautiously ran her fingers across my hot skin.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to bite you," she suddenly said. "I shouldn't have… but I was… I panicked."

"It's..." I could barely speak. "… not your... fault…" I could feel my grip loosen. I couldn't hold on any longer. I was going to fall into the darkness…

Then, the pain was suddenly stronger again, sharper. My mouth opened to scream, but I couldn't make a sound. My wrist was once again burning and I couldn't understand why. I had been so sure the pain would go away once you died…

*

I blinked as the darkness was slowly letting go of me. My head felt heavy, as if someone had filled it with water, and a low throbbing pain reminded me of the wrist. But I knew it was healing fast, I could almost feel the skin repairing itself. My eyes fluttered open and the first thing I saw were her red eyes staring down at me.

I blinked a second time, trying to shake off the confusion. "Uh…wh…what happened?"

She smiled a tiny, uncertain smile and my mouth fell open. Did she really smile at me?

"You know you taste horrible."

"You…?" I still didn't understand.

"I sucked the venom back Jacob, I couldn't let you die," she sounded just as confused as I felt.

"Why?"

"I have no idea."

I suddenly felt a lot better. A smile took form on my lips. "You saved my life." I started to sit up, extremely thankful to this wolf thing that made it possible to heal fast. But the dizziness was still there, and I had a headache. I groaned.

"How much did you take?" I asked groggily.

"Huh?"

"I think I'm going to faint, did you steal all my blood?"

She laughed. "Trust me, I didn't take a single drop more than necessary," she made a disgusted grimace, and I had to laugh too.

"Thank you," I said honestly.

She nodded, but remained silent.

"Don't ever touch me like that again without a warning," she was looking down as she spoke. "Your hands are like fire, you're so warm," she almost whispered. "I didn't know what to do… I'm sorry I bit you." She finally looked up, meeting my eyes.

I was astonished. I had always thought she was some heartless creature that couldn't feel, but there she was, apologizing for hurting me. I was so glad I had been wrong about her.

"I'm going to touch you now," I warned, reaching out for her hand.

"No don't… please," she shook her head. "I can't guarantee that I won't…" her voice trailed off.

"You won't," I promised her. Then I took her hand in mine, waiting until she was looking at me before I spoke again. "See, it wasn't that bad."

She smiled nervously, but stayed just as tense.

"You're so cold…" I whispered. I gently let my fingertips touch her cheek, letting her get used to the closeness before resting my whole hand on her marble skin. She trembled under my touch, closing her eyes as the warmth spread through her body.

*

You're so cold, but you feel alive
Lay your hand on me one last time
Show me how it ends, it's alright
Show me how defenseless you really are
satisfied and empty inside
Well, that's alright, let's give this another try