The NEW Studio that Never Was
"What's up, Internet people! This is Axel, and this is my TV show! Welcome back!" Axel calls out in a hyper voice, looking pleased that his show was back on the air.
"Um, Forbidden said to apologize for not updating this in time for the Halloween Special… and that she'll put it up next year as a "Lost" episode." Roxas explains as he keeps reading the script idly.
"That and she says that she's been reported for the…. What is it, fourth time? For this story. And that you better appreciate that she's gonna keep going for this and one more chapter." Demyx adds in carefully, strumming his sitar in tune lazily to another random melody.
"Okay then! Our first review's from our dear friend, Organization13girl!" Axel says as he opens up the envelope that Namine had just handed him.
Great job and thanks Biddy!
Great job and thanks Biddy!
Zexion: Now you need to go bring Luxord to Las Vegas, give him some wine and 10,000 munny and see how it goes. Here's book world back secretly hidden so only you and I can find it. Axel: I just beat 358/2 days on Sunday and I don't know if it is a feeling but I think I feel bad soo uhhh ya no water for you. Now for Xemnas I need you to portal him in the middle of a Darth Vader vs. Luke Skywalker moment with plastic light sabers. Watch him be beaten horribly. Demyx: Here's a cookie! Also you and Xion should go make Reno dress up and dance some ballet. Hypnotize him first. A little gift to Axel. Axel you may not go with Demyx and Xion because you'll screw everything up. Cookies to all fo updating!
Zexion: Now you need to go bring Luxord to Las Vegas, give him some wine and 10,000 munny and see how it goes. Here's book world back secretly hidden so only you and I can find it.
Axel: I just beat 358/2 days on Sunday and I don't know if it is a feeling but I think I feel bad soo uhhh ya no water for you. Now for Xemnas I need you to portal him in the middle of a Darth Vader vs. Luke Skywalker moment with plastic light sabers. Watch him be beaten horribly.
Demyx: Here's a cookie! Also you and Xion should go make Reno dress up and dance some ballet. Hypnotize him first. A little gift to Axel.
Axel you may not go with Demyx and Xion because you'll screw everything up.
Cookies to all fo updating!
"Book World… has been restored?" Zexion says with a tremble, looking like he was about to burst into tears.
"C'mon, Zex-man. Go on and get Luxord!" Axel commands. Zexion flips him off but gets up and vanishes into a Corridor of Darkness.
A little known fact about Luxord: He never had hangovers.
No matter how much he drank, he never became the half-comatose barfing individual who had to spend the entire day in bed wrapped up in covers and with a bucket next to him.
That was usually Xemnas.
Nope, he was the one who was ready to go within minutes of waking up even if he had blacked out or went into the hospital with alcohol poisoning the night before.
Zexion made it his personal job to know all about the Organization's many members. He was called the Cloaked Schemer for a reason.
So he had absolutely no problem with barging into Luxord's darkened room, banging on a few cymbals and shouting at the top of his lungs.
"….. What time is it?" Luxord asks sleepily from his cocoon of bed sheets. He might have the alcohol tolerance of freakin' Superman but a morning lark he was not.
"Time for you to get up." Zexion continues with his little dance of clashing cymbals, looking like one of those little monkey toys that clash cymbals and generally annoy the hell out of people.
Needless to say, Luxord got up to smack the annoying instruments out of Zexion's hands.
"What do you want, Six?" Luxord asks after Zexion nearly faints from the effort of slamming those stupid things.
Sipping at a cup of water, Zexion says, "Why, I have a present for you. Here is a bottle of red wine and some munny. I am taking you to Las Vegas."
At the magical words of Las Vegas, Luxord stands up and squeals like he was a five year old who had just gotten a pony.
(Roughly Five Minutes Later)
"Well, Luxord, here we ar- DID YOU DRINK THE ENTIRE BOTTLE ALREADY?" Zexion says in shock as he turns around to see the hiccupping Br- Japanese man draining the last bit of the wine from his bottle.
"Perhaps just a HIC! bit." Luxord tells him in all seriousness. He looked more than a bit tipsy but he was still eyeing the slot machines eagerly.
"… I suppose you can go-! " Zexion is nearly knocked over the Gambler as he goes to do what his title/nickname dictated: Gamble.
(Roughly Half An Hour Later)
"Well?" Axel asks curiously. Zexion drops a giant burlap sack of casino chips down on the table.
"Luxord bankrupted three casinos. … and I believe that he maybe be married now." Zexion says in a mildly shocked way as he takes a seat.
Everyone blinks in surprise but decides not to say anything.
"Axel, your turn." Roxas comments through a mouthful of cereal. Axel gets up and stretches.
"I think everyone's doing the whole "Xemnas is a Jedi" joke too often…." He mutters darkly as he vanishes into a Corridor.
"….. No, it's too sad! Nooo!" Xemnas wails into a tissue as he stares at his television set. He was trying his best to get over his hangover from a few chapters ago by watching Mexican soap operas on cable.
It was actually working pretty well, considering he didn't know Spanish.
"Xeeeeemna- What in all of the fucking fires of hell are you goddamn watching?" Axel stares at the TV and then at Xemnas and then back at the TV.
"Don't ask." Xemnas says in an icy voice as he shreds another tissue.
"You need to man up, bitch! That's it! We're gonna go do something overly masculine and awesome!" Axel shouts angrily.
Xemnas blinks in confusion.
"We're gonna fight in a Star Wars film!"
Meanwhile in the Studio
"…. And the award to the biggest idiot in the KH universe goes to Axel." Roxas moans, slapping his palm into his forehead. Xion holds out a small jar and he drops in some munny with a grimace.
In A Galaxy Far, Far Away (Yes, I just made that joke)
"Luke… I am- What the freakin' hell?" Darth Vader turns over to Axel who just grins at him. Xemnas was trying extremely hard to turn invisible.
"My friend here was watching telenovelas… he needs to man up, so… continue on what you were doing." Axel explains quickly, waving his hand nonchalantly for them to keep going.
Luke Skywalker just stares at the extremely embarrassed Xemnas and shrugs as he pulls out an light saber.
"Time to die, Vader?" He says in a confused voice as he starts fighting.
Xemnas summons his own, just in case, and yelps when he finds out someone had replaced them with five dollar plastic replicas.
"Hey, Vader! He just insulted your dead girlfriend!" Axel shouts loudly as he pops back into his corridor.
"WHAT?" Xemnas shrieks in horror as Vader and Luke come after him.
"Well, that went well." Axel admits with a smile. Roxas just shakes his head as he picks up his trusty camera and goes to the door expectantly.
"C'mon Xion! Let's go play with Reno!" Demyx says eagerly as he holds up a neon pink tutu.
Xion shrugs, crams one last cookie into her mouth, and follows the two blondes into the newly created Corridor.
Second Living Room
"…. Hmmm, look at all the channels they got here." Reno muses with a smile as he flicks through the channels for what seemed like the seventh time.
"Reno, just go back to the cooking channel. PLEASE." Alexia says with an angry twitch as he keeps going through the channel.
"Huh, and I thought this was a rated E game." Reno chuckles as he pauses momentarily at one channel before going back to annoying Alexia by not keeping the TV on one channel.
"REEEEEEEENO!" Xion tackles him in a big hug.
He just pats her on the head and keeps flicking through the channels.
"You're not even gonna react?" Demyx asks in a disappointed voice. Roxas laughs to himself, making the camera wiggle a little.
"So… I have a new trick to show you! Can I practice it on you?" Xion begs as she pulls out a gold pocket watch that had been spray painted with a black swirl on the back.
"Uh… Sure?" Reno says in a confused voice. He figured that it was probably a harmless magic trick.
Xion clears her throat and starts waving the watch back and forth in front of Reno's eyes.
Naturally, like a dumbass, he followed its motion.
"You are getting very sleepy…. Very very very sleepy… but don't turn into Hannah Montana… Please don't turn into-" Xion starts to say.
"XION!" Roxas and Demyx shout in unison.
"Oh right! You are getting… sleeeeeeeeeeepy." Xion finishes up and glares at Reno.
Surprisingly, Reno was blinking like crazy and he kept yawning and shaking himself awake.
"Holy crap, that worked?" Xion asks as she looks at her trusty watch/hypnotizing people thing.
"Xion. You never said that he was under our control!" Demyx protests as Reno leans back sleepily.
"Oh right! Reno, look over here."
When Reno looks, Xion starts waving the watch again.
"You shall be under my control…. My control, not theirs, okay? If you understand, say "Yes, Mistress Xion"." She tells him.
"Yes Mistress Xion…" Reno mumbles in a sleepy voice.
"Raise your left hand." She commands, just to see if it worked.
He raises his hand.
"That is freakin' awesome! Reno, give me the remote." Alexia tries but Reno doesn't even bother to respond.
Xion smiles in a victorious way and then whispers something to Reno quietly.
Five Minutes Later
"Play us off, Demyx!" Xion requests. Demyx nods and starts strumming a song from the Swan Lake ballet.
Reno, dressed up in the neon pink tutu supplied by the wardrobe department, starts dancing around like a drunk monkey, trying to mimic the graceful dancing that he had been shown a few minutes before.
Needless to say, everyone was cracking up hysterically.
This just keeps getting better and better. Here are my ideas:
1) lock Ven and Roxas in a room together for a few hours, then take them out, but return ven to the studio and give Roxas back to aqua and terra. see how long it takes for the others to notice.
2)make a swarm of Magikarps attack Demyx.
3) Replace Zexion's lexicon with an oversized sandwich. And Anytime he starts talking, "sexyback" by Justin Timberlake starts playing.
4) have Xion glomp Vexen to death. Then, resurrect him, and superglue headphones playing justin bieber to his head.
5) have the cast of lazytown follow Xigbar around, singing "you are a pirate".
6) make Xaldin teach preschoolers.
7) blow Atlantica up, just for kicks.
8) Axel dresses up as Yugi Muto from Yu-Gi-Oh, challenges Luxord to a duel, and steals his deck after.
"You know what my theory is? You reviewers are all sadists." Axel comments with a shrug, looking as if he didn't care either way.
Roxas, Xion and Demyx walk in, each one of the trio holding their sides as they laugh hysterically.
Roxas holds out a CD case to Axel and is about to say something when he bursts out into laughter again and falls to the ground, looking as if he was about to pass out from laughing so hard.
Axel grins maliciously at the CD and shoves it into a pocket, clapping his hands eagerly.
"Alright! Now that I have blackmail enough for a month, let's get started on these pranks!" He cheers, smacking his hip pocket with a vicious grin.
Plot Hole Land Spa and Casino
"Wow, this place is great! I never want to leave!" Ventus cheers, bouncing around on his heels excitedly as he looks around the buffet area.
Terra and Aqua glance at each other, shaking their heads in unison.
"Just don't get lost while we go get the plates, okay Ven?" Aqua asks in a soft voice as Ventus starts jabbing his Keyblade into an aquarium to stir up the water inside.
"Okay! You can count on me, Aqua!" Ventus swears in a solemn voice. Then he returns to making faces at the fish.
"He's hopeless." Terra laughs as Ventus sticks out his tongue at the small clownfish in the tank and crosses his eyes.
The two older Keyblade Wielders walk off, presumably towards the all you can eat buffet line.
Ventus on the other hand, kept messing with the fish.
"Hmm… I wonder if Aqua'll let me have a pet?" Ventus wonders aloud as he taps the glass. In a pleasant surprise, he notices that the fish tank had a mirrored back.
He starts making faces at himself and watches in childish amusement as his double repeats them.
He reaches up to the middle of the tank and the double mimics his movements.
Ven grins and then jumps back in shock. His double, meanwhile, scowls at him and then walks around the tank to meet him on the other side.
"Okay, first off… you make the stupidest faces I've ever seen." Roxas snaps as he summons up his Oathkeeper and Oblivion.
Ven summons his own Wayward Wind Keyblade and glares furiously at his double.
"You sure are rude for an evil twin." Ven says in all seriousness as he gets ready to start fighting.
Then Roxas points up to the ceiling.
"Oh my gosh, Aqua's about to take off her bikini top!" Roxas says in an astonished voice and Ven, like the hormone driven teenager that he was, immediately looks.
"Where?" Ven says, his face already blood red.
Roxas takes this split second of confusion to slam Oathkeeper into Ven's head, instantly knocking him out.
"Wow… he really does acts like Sora." Roxas comments as he slips his arms around Ven and starts dragging him to the already made Corridor of Darkness waiting for him.
"Hey Ven! I found some of those little cake things… that… you…" Terra starts to say as he walks towards the fish tank and accidentally stumbles onto the strange scene.
Roxas stares at him and the two blink in mild confusion.
"Shhh. This is totally not what it looks like." Roxas says, putting a finger to his lips and quickly walks the last few feet into the Corridor.
Terra just stares at the Corridor as it vanishes and then he swiftly walks back to Aqua who was carrying two heavy plates of food to the table.
"Hey, Terra. Where's Ven?" She asks as she drops the plates down onto the table and takes her seat.
"I think I need to go back to therapy, Aqua." Terra says in a calm voice as he starts eating his plate of pizza.
"Huh? Why?" Aqua asks with concern as she puts her hand on his forehead as if she was checking for a fever.
"I just saw Ven kidnapping Ven." Terra says in a disturbed voice as "Ven" comes back and takes a seat at the table.
He smiles innocently and quietly wipes Oathkeeper's bloody head on the tablecloth.
"LEMME GO! I WANNA GO HOME!" Ventus screams as he keeps bashing the computer equipment, in a state of pure panic and fear.
"Dude, make him stop before he breaks everything!" Axel snarls to his cast as they run and get out of the way of the freaked out Keyblade Wielder.
"Wow, he's like Roxas but like if he was on crack!" Xion wails as she dodges a Fire Dash and runs away from the freaked out blonde.
Axel then does the one and only thing that he could do: He pulls out a cookie and throws it directly in Ven's face.
In an instant, Ven stops destroying everything and snatches the chocolate chip delicacy off of his hair.
"Do you think I'm some kind of moron? You really think that I'm gonna be distracted by this?" Ven demands icily as he starts eating the cookie, scowling threateningly at the cast.
Zexion starts giggling at this, hiding behind his book so no one could see his bright red face.
"Ven, calm the hell down. Welcome to the show and here, you get a T-shirt and a gift basket for visiting." Axel announces as he throws a basket at Ven.
Ven stares at him in confusion but then starts opening the basket happily.
"Ooh! It's a little Keyblade toothpick!" Ven squeals as he pulls out a toothpick from the sandwich inside and waves the tiny key around happily.
Everyone looks over at Axel who shrugs.
"Hey, I didn't make the basket. Namine got seriously bored, alright?" He says defensively as Namine smiles at someone appreciating her handiwork.
Ven, distracted by the awesome gift basket, soon is very quiet as he plays with his new toys.
"Alright guys. Since Roxas is out with Terra and Aqua, let's see what they're up to, okay?" Namine says as she types a few commands and quickly comes up with the security video for the restaurant.
Plot Hole Land
"Ven, eat your vegetables." Aqua says to Roxas who glares at her defiantly.
"I don't want to." Roxas retorts in a bored voice as he shoves his plate to the side, looking up at Aqua as if he was daring her to say anything.
Terra was staring at this little exchange with an amused look on his face. Aqua, on the other hand, looked absolutely furious.
"Ven. I'm not going to tell you again. Eat your vegetables or I'm gonna shove them down your throat." Aqua says in a soft voice, tapping her fork on her own plate warningly.
"I'm not hungry." Roxas says with his most charming smile, getting up to go see if they had any sea salt ice cream in the dessert line.
Aqua glares at him as he leaves.
"It's just a phase, Aqua." Terra informs her, finishing up his own vegetables so the female Keyblade Master wouldn't kill him.
"The LAST time he got like this, he freakin' run away and DIED, Terra! VENTUS! YOU COME HERE RIGHT NOW! And don't you touch my dessert, Terra!" Aqua shouts violently as she snatches up Ven's abandoned plate and stands up.
Roxas sees this and instinctively starts running.
She starts chasing after him and Terra, not knowing what else to do, shrugs and takes Aqua's cheesecake.
"Oh, wow, he's gonna get it." Ven comments as he finishes up the candy from the basket, staring at the computer with wide nods in shock as they watch Aqua catch up to Roxas and start shoving a handful of carrots down his throat.
"Okay. Let's get to the next part of the prank!" Axel says with a wince, shivering at how merciless Aqua was.
"Hey, does this mean I have two older brothers?" Xion asks Axel as she stares at Ven.
"I have no idea. Anyway, Ven, you go ahead and take a seat right over there next to Xion
and Demyx." Axel commands and Ven dutifully takes his seat.
"Dude, this Vanitas guy is a pain in the ass. Hey, you were there before! Help me out here!" Xion demands as she hands the PSP over to Ven.
In a matter of seconds, he's focused intensely on the small portable gaming system as Xion looks around in confusion as if she couldn't understand how the hell she had gotten to the studio.
"Oh right… Demyx, come here for a sec." Axel commands, pointing to a suspiciously big red X that had somehow appeared on the floor of the studio within the last few minutes.
Demyx immediately listens to Axel and stands directly in the middle of the red X.
"Here?" He asks innocently as Axel nods at Namine who pushes a button the keyboard she had in her lap.
Within a few seconds, a huge trap door opens up and Demyx falls screaming to whatever pit was below the studio.
"Don't worry fans, he's not hurt!" Axel shouts to the protesting crowd of girls that stood up in anger in the stands.
"How bad can a Magikarp be?" Roxas adds, shrugging nonchalantly.
"Wow… it's actually kinda nice here!" Demyx comments, brushing himself off and getting up from the ground.
As he starts looking around, he notices a sign reading "Lake of Rage" posted on the side of a large and beautiful lake.
"Hmm. According to this thingy that I think is a Pokedex, I should go that way!" Demyx says, marching off in the direction of the water.
Within a few minutes, he wades to the exact center of the lake and starts making a lot of noise.
In another few minutes, he's screaming and running from the crowd of huge creatures that had popped up suddenly from the bottom of the lake.
"HEY! But that's a Gyarados!" Axel protests angrily, standing up in his chair.
"… Does it really matter?" Ventus asks in confusion.
Zexion was staring at his sandwich and grimacing.
"I don-" He starts to say when a sudden burst of music blasts in from somewhere in the background.
'I'm bringing sexy back!'
"YEAH!" Xion cries out, giggling as Zexion stares in horror at the air in front of him.
'Them other boys don't know how to act!'
"YEAH!" Namine cheers, laughing hysterically at Zexion's shocked expression.
Zexion clamps a hand over his mouth, shaking his head furiously as the girls try desperately to get him to all of a sudden, the song starts playing again even though Zexion wasn't talking.
"The fuck?" Axel starts to ask when he catches sight of the kid standing in the doorway.
He walks in nonchalantly, grabs Zexion and then drags the freaked out Nobody into the hallway.
A few minutes and one bruised number VI later, the black haired kid throws Zexion back into the studio.
"And don't you like ever do that again. I'M the only one who can have that song playing when I talk." He commands in a serene tone, waving calmly as the song follows him out of the building.
"Was that who I think it was?" Ventus demands quietly, his shocked expression revealing that he knew exactly who that was.
"Shhh. Wait for the reviewers to figure out the cameo themselves. That's how it works around here." Axel shushes him.
"Alright, let's see what Xigbar's up to." Namine says, rapidly typing in some random codes and pulling up the image of Xigbar in the Castle that Never Was.
Castle That Never Was
Xigbar stares at the group of kids (and one really creepy looking older guy) dancing around behind him and singing in amusement.
He was just waiting for the perfect moment to show them just what he had behind his back.
"Do what you want 'cause a pirate is free, you are a pirate!" One of them sings happily, the little puppet dancing around in a carefree way, waving a paper tube around. "Yar - har - fiddle-dee-dee, being a pirate is all right to be!Do what you want 'cause a pirate is free, you are a pirate!" The older man sings.
It is at this moment that Xigbar pulls out his double barrel shotgun and fires a warning shot into the ceiling, making every single one of the group, puppets and humans, jump in fear.
"You sure you wanna finish that?" He asks with a cheerful smile as one of the male puppets turns to the girl who looked like she had been dyed from head to toe by a bottle of Pepto Bismol.
"Hey, Stephanie, I just learned something." He says with a shiver.
"What is it, Ziggy?" The girl asks in an especially high pitched voice as she eyes Xigbar's shotgun warily.
"Apparently puppets can wet their pants." The little blonde puppet says as he and the rest of the members in their group start screaming in fear and start running.
"Come here! There's still like three more stanzas!" Xigbar shouts as he keeps firing, aiming particularly for the man in the blue jumpsuit with the nine on it.
As he runs after the group, Vexen passes by and freezes in shock at the scene.
He watches as the overly bright and colorful puppets and the freaked out humans run past him and then as Xigbar jumps around on the ceiling shouting the rest of the lyrics to the song.
Vexen then eyes his cup of unfinished coffee and dumps into a nearby plant.
"That's it! I'm only drinking decaf!" He shouts, flinging his ice blue cup across the room and running to go ask Xemnas why there were characters from a children's show in the Castle.
"Dang, Forbidden seriously hates children's shows." Axel comments in shock, watching Xigbar jump around crazily at the ceiling and shooting at the Lazy Town characters.
"Yup. That's why she sent a warning Email to Xigbar." Namine says, pointing to a computer that looked seemingly possessed as its keyboard continues typing by itself.
"Alright, let's see how we're gonna get Xaldin out of the castle. Xion, you're up- wait, what the hell?" Axel shouts as they see a very familiar duo dragging Xaldin out of the Castle.
Castle That Never Was: Gates
"Unhand me, you brats!" Xaldin snarls at the two teenagers as they roll their eyes and keep going forward.
"You sure that Biddy's gonna help us this time? I mean, Steve is kinda missing and all!" One chimes out, his tone sounding a little worried.
"No problem. If there's one thing I know about our authoress is that she keeps a deal, Phil." The other says as they simultaneously throw the struggling number III into a Corridor of Darkness.
Xaldin stares in confusion at the overly brightly decorated room in which he now found himself in.
There were tiny richly painted blocks everywhere and the scent of paste scented the air. Then Xaldin saw the scowling little group of children glaring up at him.
"You're not our teacher!" One little boy snaps moodily as he stands up with a pair of turquoise scissors in one hand.
"… Eep." Xaldin whimpers as the entire group of thirty odd four year olds stand up and smile wickedly at him.
"GET THAT RASTA MAN!" The little boy who had spoken first howls as all of the kids rush forward towards Xaldin.
"Those are some messed up four year olds." Ventus comments and everyone nods in agreement.
"Xion, you're up! Make me proud, my cute lil shorty!" Axel cheers.
Xion gets up, flips Axel off and opens up a Corridor of Darkness. She quickly vanishes even as she waves good bye to the other cast members.
Even as she does so, another Corridor opens up and Demyx trudges in, looking terrified.
There was a sickly decaying smell to him now and he was completely soaking wet.
"… What the hell is that smell?" Axel asks as Demyx collapses to the floor with a whimper.
"I pissed my pants, okay?" He says with a sob, flashing everyone a look that pretty much dared them to try to say anything on the subject.
"Let's just see how Xion is doing." Namine says as she types in a few more commands and the giant TV screen on one of the walls flashes with images.
Vexen's Laboratory No. 2
"Vexy! Veeeeexxxxxxxy!" Xion crows in absolute delight, tackling the busy scientist to the floor as he finishes up cleaning his latest failed experiment.
"Xion! What on earth is the matter with you?" He demands icily but then all of a sudden, he stops breathing.
"And that is called murder." Xion says to herself as she gets the superglue from the table, applies it to a set of headphones that she was carrying and clamps them onto Vexen's ears.
She then casts Curaga and runs.
The resulting scream of pure and utter horror would echo throughout the Castle for the rest of the day.
"Hm. He's not a fan of pop." Axel chuckles, dutifully noting that for future reference.
"Hey, can we skip these last ones? I mean, as funny as Axel cosplaying is… We kinda have a time limit." Demyx asks, tapping his watch.
"Yeah, alright. We'll save them for the Roxas Show. Speaking of Roxas… how's he doing, Nami?" Axel asks.
Namine was too busy giggling to answer properly.
"… I am so getting a tape of that. Record it for me!" He command as a loud popping noise erupts through the entire room, making everyone jump about twenty feet in the air.
Zexion looks out the window and holds up a piece of paper.
'I believe that was Atlantica.'
"Huh. So we're only not doing the Yugi-Oh one." Demyx says, nodding in a pleased way despite the fact that his favorite world was now in ruins.
A clumsily made paper airplane suddenly zooms through the air, embedding itself on one of Axel's infamously stiff red spikes.
He rips it off and reads the very last prank.
Y'know...reading over this story, I've realized that there are way too many "Cloud and Chocobos" jokes/pranks. So, I got an idea to give Cloud a little break.
We should turn Leon into a Moomba! It's funny, ironic, and slightly original! Everybody wins...except for Leon, but nobody cares about him.
"Aaaaah, so that's what she wants." Axel muses as he hands a full spray bottle over to Xion who had just come back.
"Huh? What's this?" She asks but Axel just pushes her through a Corridor.
"Don't let him go where cat nip is!" Zexion shouts to her.
"Be sure to spray Leon in the face with it!" He calls out as she vanishes.
When Leon woke up that morning, he wasn't expecting the day to be anything but normal.
His plan: Wake up, eat, patrol, possibly kick Cloud's ass in a sparring match, sleep, patrol, eat, patrol, and then go to sleep after dinner.
That was a good plan; it was practically the ideal day for Leon.
As the first one up, the brooding brunet had the first shift on patrol around the Bailey of Radiant Gardens.
That was normal.
Perfectly normal and routine.
When he reaches the inside of the Bailey, Leon was in a pretty normal mood.
What wasn't normal was the almost crazily depressed looking kid leaning in a corner.
He… or she (it was incredibly hard to tell which in the overly long jacket he or she was wearing) was arguing furiously with himself/herself and looking generally confused.
"But… he's totally nice… but I have to do this! For the show…. But he's nice and he helps out Sora all the time… What should I do?" The kid asks himself/herself miserably.
"Um…. Sir?" Leon asked in concern, taking a random guess at the mysterious person's gender.
"EXCUSE ME? I'm a girl, thank you very much!" The kid snarls angrily as if she had just been offended.
"Well, are you alright?" Leon asks next, feeling as if he would totally regret this but needing to find out who the hell this bizarre and possibly crazy person was.
The girl mutters something darkly to herself before looking up at Leon.
"You're Leon, right?" She asks nervously, giving him a pained expression.
"Yeah." Leon tells her in a mildly confused voice, wondering why she knew his name.
"Uh…. Hi!" The girl starts fidgeting around like crazy as if she was scared that someone was going to come in and see them talking together.
"I'll be going on my way now… if you don't need any help." Leon says quickly, immediately deciding to get as far away as humanely possibly from this weirdo.
Unfortunately, the weirdo had her own plans.
"Wait! I have to give you a present, Leon!" She says, stumbling forward awkwardly and rooting around in her pockets for something.
Leon freezes in his tracks, completely unsure of what do because of the tiny voice in his head screaming for him to "Run, man! Run now while you still have the chance!" against his very good manners.
This thought is only confirmed when the girl pulls out a squirt bottle and quickly sprays him in the face with a jet of foul smelling liquid.
"Now, a bit of advice: Don't go near cat nip. Seriously, it's not a good idea." She warns him quickly as she lifts up her hood to hide her face before running down past the gate and slamming it shut behind her.
Leon gags from the foul stench of the strange liquid and quickly wipes the clear substance from his face with his sleeve before running after the little girl.
As Xion watches him look around for her in confusion, she stares at the bottle in her hand, wondering just what on earth it had inside.
A few minutes and one stalking later, Xion's peering into the window of Leon's house, watching as his friends shout over his unmoving body.
When the giant poof of smoke engulfs the brunet, Xion suddenly realizes what the spell was.
"AXEL! I can't believe you!" She sobs as she watches the bright reddish orange furred lion like creature that was now Leon look at himself in the mirror and faint.
"And that was a sneak preview of Forbidden's new story; "Moomba Days!" I hope you enjoyed it." Axel says as a hysterically sobbing Xion stumbles her way back to the studio and collapses on one of the couches, absolutely horrified to be the instrument of such a punishment.
"And now we're sad to say that this show must come to an end. The next episode will be the FINAL episode." Zexion says as he keeps reading.
"So stay tuned! This is Axel and I'm here to say… dammit, why is our Authoress so damn lazy?" Axel shouts angrily as the screen goes black and the episode ends.