A/N: I don't own anything, the great Stephenie Meyer does. I also apologize for the mistakes, English is not my native-language so it's not perfect. I'm also sorry for the short chapters. Thank you for reading, I hope you'll enjoy it. Review if you want, but if you don't, well too bad :P I'm not the kind of person who only posts new chapters if I receive reviews, but they would be nice. I'm interested in knowing how you feel about the story and what you think about what should happen next. I already have most of it written but I don't want to post it all at once, this gives me the opportunity to change them slightly if you please. Okay so that's about it, enjoy reading.
Chapter 1: For better or worse
I had instantly fallen for him when I first came to Forks. He was like the perfect guy, he was drop-dead handsome, he was caring, protective, sweet, romantic. There was nothing not to like, and everything had gotten even more perfect when I met his family. They all were beautiful, like him, and they all were very accepting towards me. His mother instantly thought of me as her own daughter and for the first time I felt totally accepted. His brothers were good fun and his sister, Alice, she became my best friend. His other sister, Rosalie, didn't like me as much but still, she was part of the family I so desperately wanted to belong to. I had never felt unsafe with them, even though they all were vampires. They survived of the blood of animals but still, I knew human blood was very appealing to them. And I was a human.
From the first moment we all met, I knew they'd never hurt me and so far, they never had. None, but Edward. He had hurt me multiple times, by accident of course. It was very difficult for him to restrain himself and I was his so-called singer. Knowing that, I always forgave him when he was about to lose himself, or when he hurt me in any other way, I knew it was difficult for him too. My love for him made me blind for all the mistakes he made, as it had made me blind for all other feelings I had. Edward had soon proposed to me and we had married, he had promised to turn me into a vampire so that we could be together forever. But deep down I knew that was never going to happen, he wouldn't ever have the strength to turn me without killing me.
He bought a nice cottage close to his parental house and we moved there, just the two of us. Nobody ever came, nobody ever heard of us and nobody knew if he'd hurt me. I was always afraid to be alone with him, ever since the wedding things had changed. He wasn't as sweet, or as careful. He wanted to make love to me, like every other married couple would. But he knew as well as I that he could never do that, not as long as I was human. He tried though, and that were the times I got hurt. I got pushed away, I would fall or worse, he'd almost bite me. He had tasted my blood, a few times, but he never drained me. The fear was there though, and I knew that one day, he would… kill me.
"Edward, is it alright if I go see Alice?" I asked him, I asked him about everything. He was very protective and if he'd find out I was gone without asking he'd probably beat the crap out of me. His super-strength had often gotten me bruised, he'd apologize every time and I would of course forgive him.
"No, I don't want you to go out today. I need you here, close by." I had already predicted this response, as of lately he hadn't let me out very often. And neither had he allowed his family to come over here. Something was going on I just couldn't find out what it was, I was blinded by my love for him and his family, it was just so strong.
"Why? Are you going to finally turn me?" This was the wrong question, which provoked a lot of anger, as it always did.
"When are you going to give up? You know I'm not ready to do that! You selfish-"
"I know! But you promised me Edward, it was part of the deal!"
"Fine, then the deal is off, Bella! I shall not change you." He broke me, he did over and over again. He repeatedly hurt me, if not physically, he'd do it mentally. But I doubted he was conscious of this and so I wouldn't mention it.
"Great, so I will die within quite a few years and that's that? You're not going to want me when I'm old, Edward! I know you don't feel that way, but that's how it works. Besides, it's not really a great thing to be 70 years old and be dating someone who looks like 17! When will you face reality Edward?" I was screaming and he moved towards me, looking very mad. I knew I was going to get hurt again and I regretted what I'd just said. "I'm sorry, I…"
"Shut up, Bella! You have no idea what you're talking about!" He pushed me and I fell on the floor, another bruise would soon be added to my collection. Ever since we got married I had always been covered by bruises, and the worst part was that he never meant for it to happen, but it just did. I guessed that was the danger of being married to a vampire.
"Bella, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you." He helped me to get back on my feet and that's when the phone rang. "I'll get it" he said. He never let me answer the phone, I was wondering why he wouldn't want me to have any contact with the outside-world. He wouldn't even let me see Alice! My dear friend, Alice, whom I had told so many stories, who knew about everything, except for the bruises. I couldn't tell her, she wouldn't understand. She'd think Edward hurt me intentionally, but that wasn't true, was it?
"Alice, back off! She's not coming okay? Just, leave us alone!" I heard Edward yell, it was a whispered yell but I still heard it. He deprived me of my friends and family, I hadn't seen Charlie in weeks and every time he called Edward made up excuses. I felt two cold hand on my stomach, under my shirt and I knew Edward wanted to try again. "Edward, I don't think…"
"Shh, this is what married people do isn't it? And we're married, Bella." He continued touching me and I soon turned around and kissed his lips. He answered the kiss and carried me upstairs, to our bedroom. When we got there he ripped my shirt off, as well as my bra and he cupped my breasts with his cold hands. His lips were still kissing mine and his teeth sometimes captured my bottom lip. He bit hard enough for the blood to almost come through, but it didn't, yet. His hands got to my lower back and reached my jeans, he also got rid of those and laid me down on the double bed he had bought me. When his hands reached my panties he snapped, I felt him bite on my bottom lip and the blood seeped through.
"Edward… stop! I'm bleeding" I said but he didn't stop. His tongue reached for the blood and he started sucking on the broken skin. His hands had already removed my panties and his fingers were tickling my pubis. I tried to push him away, he had to restrain himself from hurting me, I didn't want this to happen, not again. It took him some time to realize what he was doing but once he did he moved away from me, muttering apologies.
"Edward, it's okay. We just shouldn't do this. It's not that I don't want to but…"
"I know what it is Bella! It's because I can't get a hold of myself isn't it? You don't want me because you don't want me to hurt you, or don't you love me anymore?"
"Don't be such a fool, of course I still love you! You just… we shouldn't hurry these things. They take time, for you." I knew it was too late, my refusal had already made him angry and I knew he was about to give in to his blood-lust and drain me. I quickly got my clothes and ran for the bathroom, it was a weak attempt to escape reality. There was no chance I was going to make it, if he really wanted to hurt me.
"I'm leaving Bella. For a second, but I'll be back. Please don't call anyone, I want you to stay in here" He demanded and I couldn't refuse, I was too scared of him. His eyes were black and I knew he was going to hunt, so that he would get back in control of himself. I got dressed and when I got back downstairs he was there too, waiting for me.
"You done already?"
"I'm fast, Bella." This was one of those awkward moments we always used to have after his attempts to make love to me. I nodded, I didn't really know what to say and then went to give him a hug. To show him everything was okay. He hugged me back and we got over to the couch, I snuggled in to him and he caressed my arm. We didn't speak, and for a second it felt like I had the old Edward back. I cherished moments like this, because they were rare.