Honeysuckle, Chocolate, and Trashy Literature: A Drabble Series

Ever wonder what it would be like if Cullen was a party member? And a romance option? Here are some dialogue options Bioware could have taken. Cullen/Mage PC, plus some interactions with other party members.

Gifts 1

"You—you got me a book?" Cullen whispered, looking over the worn copy of A Rose of Orlais the Grey Warden had given him.

"You just seemed like the scholarly type to me, I don't know." She mumbled, slightly embarrassed. "If you don't like it, let me know. I won't be offended."

"No, I—actually, I love it." He blushed. "This sounds sort of silly, but reading is something of a hobby of mine."

Iza looked at him, curious. "Truly?"

"Yes." He laughed, a quiet, gentle sound. "In the Chantry where I grew up, there wasn't much else to do. And I was quiet by nature, unlike most of the other boys. While they would be out in the courtyard fighting each other with sticks, I would be in the library, reading."

"I can't imagine they had much of a collection in the Chantry, did they?"

"No, no they did not." He agreed, before realizing what exactly he had said. "N-not that I didn't enjoy reading about the Maker, I did, but after some time I felt I had read all there was to read about the Maker."

It surprised her how long he spoke without stuttering. Usually by now he would have been a red-faced mess. This was interesting. She let him continue: "There was this lay sister from...Antiva, I think. And she noticed my lack of reading materials, so she decided to share her own collection with me."

"Oh? That sounds interesting." She chimed in politely.

"That's what I thought, too, until I remembered she was from Antiva."

"Oh?" The Warden asked, until she remembered the only other Antivan she knew. "OH. OH. I take it they were, uh, not what you were expecting."

He grinned. "They were the most trashy, horrid romance novels you could find. Seriously, they were awful."

"You read them?" She asked, shocked.

"Of course. I didn't have anything else to read, and I was...curious."

"You skipped right to the ravishing scenes, didn't you?" She accused, smiling widely.

"Sometimes." He confessed. "Other times I would read the entire thing. They weren't always awful, you know. And incidentally enough, the lay sister who gave me her books was the one who named me when I was a babe."

"Oh no."

"Exactly. Tell me, have you ever read Twiblight?"

She snickered. "I can't say I have."

"Don't. It's—awful. The main character—Cullen Edwards, by the way, in case you were wondering—is a sparkling idiot who pretty much stalks this poor girl until she falls in love with him. I remember reading it and thinking, they can't be serious. Do girls actually find that romantic?"

"Well, I don't." The mage grinned. "Some girls might, though."

"And the woman in the books—she was so stupid. And weak! Maker, she was weak. And completely dependent on Cullen for everything. I" Cullen continued, flabbergasted.

"I could never be like that." She confessed, slightly happy that Cullen seemed to approve of her more…outspoken personality.

"I'm grateful you aren't." He told her seriously. "Anyway, when I told the lay sister just what I thought about the book, you can imagine what happened."

The Warden gasped. "What did she do?"

"Well, it was the only time I was scolded into kitchen duty." He told her, his eyes twinkling with unseen mischief. "She made me scrub pots because she thought I had poor taste in literature."

She laughed at the image. "You poor boy."

"I got over it somehow." He told her, his shyness creeping back. "There were other books of hers that I liked, though. Romeo and Juliet and the Darkspawn. Ser Potter and the Flame-Haired Witch. Pride and Prejudice and the Undead. This one here," He picked up the book she had given him. "The Rose of Orlais, it's an old favorite. Now there was a heroine I could appreciate! Strong, smart---beautiful. Not some blubbering idiot who couldn't put on shoes by herself."

"Oh?" She commented, feeling bold. "And here I thought some men preferred docile women."

Cullen flushed. "N-not me. I guess I knew even back then that if were to fall for a woman, she would have to be s-s-strong. I-i-independent."

"Grey Warden material, even." She flirted.

"Y-yes." He stuttered, stumbling through his words. "W-we aren't still talking about the book, are we?"

"I wasn't."

"Right." He mumbled, his face completely red and unable to look her in the eyes. "T-thank you for the book. I'm—I'm going to go o-over there and r-read it n-now, thank you."

The Warden couldn't help but giggle. "If I find any more trashy literature I'll be sure to send it your way, okay?"

"I'd—I'd a-a-appreciate it."


A/N: This came about because I had no internet all day yesterday and was working on a fic (related to Obsession, in case you are curious) where Cullen is Gregoir and Wynne's child. I was thinking about what Cullen would have in common with Wynne. And then I decided that he must share her love for trashy literature, and my mind ran with it and here is all that remains of my squishy imagination. I hope you enjoyed it.

I'm making this as a series because I have other ideas for what if Cullen were a party member that I figure will someday make their way into drabbles, so why not keep them in the same place in some sort of orderly fashion? I cannot promise when/if this will be updated again, but keep your eyes open. I may surprise you.

Side note: Twiblight belongs to Midnight Hawk () or trojanphoenix (lj) and is quite possibly the greatest thing ever. You should read it if you get a chance.

Peace out!