This chapter is dedicated toooooooo………. taoist elf! She is the reason you are getting this chapter and the story as I write it! Not only did I get the idea for this story from talking to her, but she amazingly agreed to read this first chapter and assured me I was on the right track! You guys should totally go check out her Jake/Bella story if you haven't read it yet!! It's completely amazing!!
Disclaimer: I am not Stephanie Meyer. I do not own Twilight.
I was done.
Done with not knowing. Done with the unanswered phone calls. Done with Billy telling me Jake would call when he was ready. Done with the insecurities and uncertainties.
Done with the pain that was so much worse than when he left; there was no sun this time around.
I was done!
It had taken some time, but the pain had finally given way to anger.
Jacob Black was going to regret ignoring me.
At least, that's what I told myself as I drove through Forks to La Push. I refused to admit that I was scared, scared that Jake would still reject me, tell me to go home, that he never wanted to see me again. Everything he said.
I squashed down that fear as I pulled up to the Black's house. I peered through my truck's window at the dark house. No lights were on, no sounds coming from the windows, no voices floating from the garage. Nothing.
More than a little nervous now, I jumped down from my truck, stumbling a little as the gravel shifted under my feet. I turned and slammed the door shut, not even bothering to hide the fact that I was there, hoping one of them would hear me and come out.
No sign of movement from the house.
Taking a deep breath, I let it out slowly, gathering my courage around me. Determined, I marched up the front steps and knocked on the door.
I tried again, a little louder.
Still no answer.
I reached out and tried the door. It opened easily.
Obviously, people on the reservation didn't worry much about breaking and entering. Charlie would probably have something to say about this.
Smiling slightly at the thought of the lecture he would give Billy, I made my way inside, looking around.
No one was home. Not that that was surprising after knocking and having no one answer. Besides that, Jacob would've come running to the door if he'd heard my truck coming up the drive.
So, I settled down on the couch, flipped on the TV, and waited.
After countless paid programming shows, the front door opened and banged shut, causing me to jerk up from my relaxed position on the couch to find Billy looking at me in surprise.
"Bella? What are you doing here?" Billy asked, wheeling over to me.
"Oh, um. I came to see Jake. He around?" I asked, biting my lip nervously.
"Did he call you?" Billy asked, not answering my question.
"Well, no, but-"
"Bella, you really shouldn't be here. I think it's time for you to leave," Billy insisted harshly.
I gaped at him, completely shocked.
Maybe Jake didn't want me around after all. Maybe he was tired of being my friend. Maybe he was done with me only being halfway here.
"O-okay," I stuttered, standing up and wrapping my arms around my middle, trying to keep myself together.
Billy sighed heavily, closing his eyes briefly before looking at me again.
"I'm sorry, Bella. But it's really not a good idea for you to be here. I promise, Jake will call you when he's ready to see you," Billy insisted softly.
I just nodded, unable to say anything or keep the tears from falling down my face.
This was much worse than the last time.
I shuffled across the floor and made to go out, but stopped at the last minute and, staring outside at my truck, spoke to Billy.
"Can you give Jake a message for me?" I asked hoarsely.
"Sure," Billy agreed.
"Tell him not to bother. I get it," I rasped, shoving the door open and hurrying to my truck.
I tripped multiple times on the way there, but kept going, even when I heard Billy call my name. I just wanted out. I tripped less than a foot from my truck and fell against it, gripping the handle for dear life as I struggled to regain my footing. I pulled, trying to get the door open, but it wouldn't budge. I tugged harder, yanking at it with all my strength, but it still didn't open.
"COME ON!" I screamed, kicking the tire.
It felt good hitting the truck and I did it again, this time with my hand, smacking the orange painted metal. It stung a little, but still relieved some of my pent up anger. I began banging my fists on the window, crying out angrily.
"Open up!" I yelled, trying the door again, repeatedly.
Sobs came up uncontrollably from my throat and my legs decided they were tired of holding me up as I fell to the ground just as it started to rain.
"Of course," I mumbled miserably, throwing up my hands before letting them flop back to the ground forcefully.
I dug my fingers into the ground, sobbing uncontrollably. My wet hair hung down around my face as I lowered my head, staring at the ground. Leaning against the truck, I had never felt so defeated in my entire life.
I looked up and couldn't control the gasp that escaped my lips.
A huge young man was standing in front of me. I barely recognized him. He was in just a pair of shorts, no shirt, no shoes. His hair was short, his body toned, his face hard, his eyes empty. My Jacob was gone.
As soon as our eyes met, his face softened and he looked a little…. disappointed? Slowly, he lowered himself down so he was eye level with me, never taking his eyes off mine.
"J-Jake? Wh-what h-happened to y-y-you?" I stuttered, shivering from the cold rain.
He frowned before lifting me up against his chest and taking me back inside. He walked right by Billy and into his room. He placed me gently on the bed before digging around in his dresser drawers. He stood up holding a t-shirt and handed it to me.
"Put this on," Jake instructed, leaving the room.
I held up the shirt and watched as he walked out of the room. I had no idea what was going through his head. He was being distant and cold. Not at all like my Jacob. I wanted to see him smile at me, not frown.
Swallowing past the lump in my throat, I began taking off my wet clothes before pulling on the over-sized t-shirt Jake had given me. It fell past my knees like a dress and I smiled as I inhaled his scent on the collar. I settled back on the bed, my legs tucked underneath me, enjoying being surrounded by Jake's things.
"Bella? You dressed?" Jake's voice called through the door.
"Yeah," I answered softly, biting my lip nervously as he walked in.
He looked at me for a few seconds before looking around the room. He looked like he'd rather be anywhere but here. I was surprised by how much the realization hurt.
His eyes landed on the pile of my clothes on the floor. He walked over and picked them up.
"I'll go put these in the dryer," Jake said, moving to leave the room again.
"Jake, wait!" I pleaded, moving to stand up.
My feet got caught up underneath me and I plummeted to the floor. Tangled up with the sheets, I was trapped.
Jake was right beside me, smiling my smile.
"Only you, Bells," he chuckled, pulling away the sheets.
I blushed furiously, blinking up at him. He took my hand and pulled me up into a sitting position.
"Jake, what's been going on?" I asked quietly.
His smiled vanished and he looked pained. His breathing got heavily and he stood up abruptly. I watched him as he paced the room, his hands fisted at his sides.
"Ugh! Damn it!" he shouted, anger shaking his body.
I jumped back at his shout, scared that he was angry at me. He noticed and took a deep breath.
"Bella, I wish I could tell you. I really do! But. I. Can't," he ground out, staring at the wall over my head.
I nodded, looking at the floor by my feet.
"I understand. It's okay, Jake. You don't have to explain," I mumbled, smiling sadly.
He groaned slightly, causing me to look up at him. He had his eyes squeezed shut and his head bowed. I stood up, moving over to comfort him.
"Really, Jake. It's okay. Look, you just call me whenever you can, okay? I-I promise, Jake. It'll be okay," I soothed, hugging his stiff form.
He relaxed against me, his arms going around my waist as he pulled me closer into one of his infamous bear hugs. He buried his head in my shoulder, gasping for air.
"Bells, I'm scared," he whispered.
I tensed instantly. Jacob was one of the best people I knew. He was always laughing and joking around. Nothing scared him. At least, nothing I'd ever seen.
I held him tighter, trying to tell him without words that I was there for him. That I would always be there for him. He gasped for air, struggling to calm down.
"Shhh, Jake. I got you," I murmured, rubbing up and down his new broad back.
He heaved a huge sigh, shudders running through his body. He carefully straightened, looking at me with tortured eyes. All I wanted was to take that look away from him. I missed his smile.
"I'm here, Jake. I'm not going anywhere. Unless you want me to," I added, not sure if he wanted me around.
"I need you here, Bells," Jake admitted.
I couldn't help it. My face broke out in a huge smile and I grabbed him in another hug.
"Good, cause I've missed my best friend," I told him.
"Sorry I haven't been a very good one lately," Jake chuckled.
"S'okay," I sighed, snuggling into his warmth.
I felt him place a kiss on the top of my head and smiled again.
"You're really warm," I noticed.
He felt almost feverish.
"Yeah, well, I've gone through a few changes since you saw me last," Jake huffed.
"Let me guest, something you can't tell me?" I asked even though I already knew the answer.
"I'm sorry, Bells," Jake muttered.
"Don't be. Just so long as you promise not to put me through another day as bad as these past few have been," I pleaded.
"Promise," Jake agreed.
"Good," I grinned, stepping out from his embrace.
He refused to stop touching me completely can kept hold of my hand. He pulled me back over to the bed and sat me down.
"Let me take care of your clothes. I'll be right back," Jake promised, smiling my smile.
I nodded, watching as he walked over and picked up the little pile before slipping out of the room. I felt exhaustion creep up on me and laid down on the bed, snuggling into Jake's pillow, inhaling deeply.
I was just drifting off to sleep when I felt Jake lay down beside me, pulling me into his arms. I turned over so I was facing him and snuggled into his chest. One of his arms acted as my pillow while the other rested on my waist, effectively trapping me in his embrace.
I felt his lips on the top of my head right before I succumbed to sleep.
I woke up to a cold bed. Jake was gone and the house was quiet. Looking over at the clock beside his bed, I saw it was six o'clock at night. Charlie would be worried.
Groaning slightly, I sat up, stretched, and swung my legs out of the bed. The floor was cold on my bare feet, helping to wake me up. Rubbing sleep from my eyes, I stood up, stumbling a little on unsteady legs.
Glancing briefly around the room, I noticed my clothes were folded at the end of the bed. Frowning slightly, I picked them up. I knew I should put them on, but I was reluctant to take off Jake's shirt. I wondered if he would miss it if I stole it.
Deciding to risk it, I pull on my jeans, but not the shirt, keeping his on instead. When I walked out of his bedroom, I noticed the TV was on in the living room. Billy was sitting in there, watching a game. He looked up when I walked in.
"Hey, Bella. Charlie called. I told him I'd send you home as soon as you woke up," Billy said before turning his attention back to the game.
"Okay. Is Jake around?" I asked, looking around as if expecting him to pop out of a closet or something.
"He had some tribal stuff to do. He said he'd call you tomorrow," Billy answered, still watching the TV.
"Okay. Thanks, Billy. And… I'm sorry about earlier," I mumbled, looking at my feet.
"No problem, kid. Glad you two worked it out," Billy replied.
I looked up and he was grinning at me. I smiled back, thoroughly glad to have Billy in my life. Without Billy being Charlie's best friend, Jake and I never would've met. We never would've become friends. Now that was a scary thought.
"See you later, Billy," I called, hurrying out the door.
The drive back to Forks was uneventful, the rain keeping me company. The wires from the torn out stereo mocked me with memories that I struggled to keep bottled down. I forced thoughts of Jake into my head to replace them.
It worried me, all these changes he had gone through, but he was still my Jake. I thought back to seeing Sam Uley and his gang jumping off cliffs. Jake looked like those guys. Embry had obviously gone through whatever Jake was going through. Then I started thinking about how Quil was taking this. No doubt he was having a hard time with it. I should probably go see him.
When I pulled into the driveway, Charlie's cruiser was parked in it's usual spot. I knew he'd be hungry and wondered if he'd ordered pizza or was still waiting for me to fix dinner.
I hurried in out of the rain, shutting the door quickly behind me. Charlie was plopped in his arm chair, watching the same game as Billy. He looked up briefly when I walked it.
"Hey, Bells. How's Jake?" he asked.
"Good. We talked it out," I answered.
"He'll be coming around more then?" Charlie continued, watching the TV.
"I suppose so," I agreed, moving into the kitchen.
"Ordered pizza. It's in the fridge," Charlie called.
"Thanks. Sorry I wasn't home to fix dinner," I said, opening the fridge and pulling out the box.
Charlie made a gruff sound which I assumed meant not to worry about it. I took a few slices, put them on a paper towel, and headed up to my room to finish up some homework.
By the time I had finished, it was close to eleven o'clock. Stretching out my stiff muscles, I went about getting ready for bed, keeping Jake's shirt on instead of changing into my regular pajamas. I crept downstairs and woke up Charlie from his chair. He grumbled at me, but allowed me to lead him up stairs and into his bedroom. I walked into my own and snuggled down under the covers. Thoughts of Jacob ran through my head, lulling me into an easy sleep.
My dreams were filled with wolves and Jacob and Sam and the other boys. Faceless vampires floated in and out of focus, some of them red-eyed, some of them golden-eyed. I watched as they battled, fighting over some unknown treasure. I woke up disoriented and screaming for Jake.
I was shocked to find myself in the middle of the C-Cullen's baseball field. I had no idea how I'd managed to make it all the way out here. The only time I'd ever been had been when they were here. And, unfortunately, I had no idea how to get back!
Huffing in aggravation, I spun around in a slow circle, looking for something recognizable.
"Hello, Bella. So nice of you to make finding you easier for me," the familiar voice said.
Surely I must still be asleep. He's not really here.
But when I turned around, there he was.
"Laurent," I greeted.
His bright red eyes were the same as I remembered. Clearly, living with the Denali family had not changed him.
"My dear, I had forgotten how… delicious you smell. I don't know if I'll be able to return you to Victoria," Laurent murmured euphorically.
I didn't bother trying to talk him out of it. I wasn't that worried about dying, but I was worried about those I'd leave behind. Charlie would be alone again and no doubt return to the diner every night. Renee would feel at fault since it was her marriage that caused me to move to Forks. And, oh God, Jake! Jake would never get over it.
I had to try something, for them.
"Why does Victoria want me?" I asked, trying to buy some time.
"Well, now, I asked myself that same question. Seems she holds a grudge against your mate, but it appears he and his coven have up and left the poor, defenseless human alone. What happened? Did they get bored with your mundane human tricks?" Laurent taunted, slowly circling me.
My breathing was getting heavy and I was having trouble hearing him over the roaring in my ears. Listening to him say things that were probably true about them. It was painful.
"Did little Edward get tired of you? I hardly think you would be much fun to play with," Laurent continued, obviously enjoying my pain.
I nearly doubled over, hearing his name.
"So sad, really. You're just a pathetic little human. I simply cannot fathom why everyone is so interested in you," Laurent sighed.
I was still gasping for breath, struggling to gain control over myself. I refused to let him beat me down.
"But, unfortunately, Victoria is very interested in you. I don't think she'll mind if you're not breathing when I take you to her," Laurent finished, closing in.
I stared miserably up at him, knowing there was nothing I could do. He was going to kill me. They would never even find my body. Victoria would likely destroy it past recognition.
"You should be thanking me. If you knew what Victoria had planned for you, you would," Laurent murmured, caressing my cheek.
I couldn't help the gut reaction to jerk my head back. Laurent smiled widely, dropping his hand.
"Would you like to run, little Bella? Would you like for me to chase you down like the prey you are? That would be fun, wouldn't it?" Laurent asked soothingly.
"No," I managed to rasp out.
"Oh, how brave. You know what? For that, I'll make your death a short one," Laurent said, grabbing me roughly by the neck.
I heard something pop and cried out at the pain in my shoulder blade.
"Shh. It'll all be over soon," Laurent murmured.
"NO! PLEASE! STOP!" I screamed, trying to break free.
"Ah, ah, ah, Bella," Laurent scolded, tapping my on the cheek.
It hurt, like a punch and I knew there would be a bruise. He lowered his mouth to my neck and inhaled sharply. I was still pushing against him, trying to get away when he suddenly froze.
He lifted his head, growling softly and scanning the area.
I heard it, too. It sounded like thunder and the ground was shaking under my feet.
"Damn it," Laurent roared, moving away from me.
Without his arms holding me up, I crumpled to the ground, sobbing softly. I struggled, pushing myself up. My hair was in my face, but I could still make out large shapes surrounding me as the rumbling subsided.
Laurent was still there, but he was scared. I could see that even from my position on the ground.
A loud growl rose up around me, echoed by the four other shapes. Startled, I looked closer at the shapes and discovered they were actually wolves. Not just any wolves, HUGE wolves! They were actually the size of horses!
What the heck?!?
"We'll have to finish this later, Bella," Laurent called, backing away from the wolf pack.
I gasped in surprise at he turned and fled from the meadow. All five of the wolves followed, hot on his tail.
I stayed there, completely shaken. None of it made sense to me. Why would wolves actively seek out a vampire? And then, chase said vampire away?
The cold was starting to get to me and I struggled to push myself up to my feet. I wobbled a little, unsteady on my feet after all that had happened.
I knew I should leave, but I still had no idea which way was home.
Frustrated beyond all belief, I couldn't contain the scream that escaped my lips.
"WHY?!?" I screamed to the sky.
I was answered with silence.
"You know what? I'm sick of this! I am DONE! DO YOU HEAR ME?" I shouted, stomping my foot childishly.
The sky rumbled in response.
"Don't. You. Dare!" I fumed, nostrils flared.
I spun around, worried that it was Laurent. Instead, I saw Sam with his arms crossed in nothing but shorts. He raised an eyebrow at me.
"What? I've had a bad night, okay? So, forgive me if I want to take it out on Mother Nature!" I grumbled, crossing my arms.
Sam smirked at me.
"What are you even doing here?" I asked, frowning.
His smirk vanished and he gave me a look that clearly said not to ask anything else.
"Look, can you just… just help me get home? Please?" I asked, suddenly really tired.
"Sure," Sam agreed, moving closer to me.
We had just turned to start walking when a howl came up from behind us.
I stopped and turned back to see one of the wolves standing just a few feet away. I felt Sam tense beside me, but I ignored him.
There was something about the wolf that looked familiar. I couldn't place it, but I felt drawn to it.
Hesitantly, I took a step forward. Then another. And another. Until I was standing right in front of it. It lowered it's head so we were eye level. For some reason, looking into it's eyes made me feel like crying.
I swallowed past the lump in my throat and reached out a hand to place on it's chest.
"Thank you," I whispered brokenly.
The wolf whined softly and butted it's head against my shoulder. Without thinking, I wrapped my arms around it's neck as a broken sob sounded from my throat. Before I knew it, I was crying uncontrollably against it's soft fur.
Slowly, the fur retreated and warm skin replaced it. Arms encircled me and hands rubbed soothing circles on my back. A voice murmured words in my ear and I shuddered against him.
"It's alright, Bells. I got you. You're safe," Jacob sighed in my hair.
I clung to him tighter, unable to let him go.
"What was that?" I choked out.
"I'll explain later. Let's get you home. It's about to rain," Jacob insisted.
He dropped his arms from around me and I cried out.
"Relax, Bells. I just gotta pull my shorts on," Jake chuckled.
I refused to drop my arms, but he managed to get dressed without me moving. Once he was securely covered, he wrapped his arms around me again.
"Come on, Bells. Time to get you home," Jake sighed, lifting me in his arms.
I snuggled against his chest, closing my eyes as the woods rushed by. I was vaguely aware of Jake taking me into my room and laying me down. I kept my arms around his neck, refusing to let go.
He reached behind him and pried my fingers away and placed them on the bed beside me.
"No," I mumbled, reaching out for him.
"Don't worry, Bells. I'm not going anywhere," Jake whispered, sliding into the bed beside me.
I sighed heavily and took back my place in his arms. He wrapped his arms tightly around me, pulling me close to his chest. The sound of his steady heartbeat lulled me to sleep.
Okay, so I am uber-excited about this story!! I'm hoping to have it completed in two, maybe three months time, depending on how often I get the chance to sit down and write. Chapter two is already written. I just have to read through it one more time to check for any wrongs that need to be righted. And then, chapter three has been started! Hopefully, this story will move along quickly!! Finger crossed!!
If you would like to follow the story a little closer, I have a Facebook account that I update regularly with news about what I'm working on. You'll know exactly which chapter I'm working on and how much longer until I post. Plus, you can always harass me much easier on there if I'm taking too long! Anyway, the name is Untamed Loner. All requests will be accepted!
Welcome to the wonderful world of my mind!