AUTHOR: Hello, readers. Some time ago, there existed a fanfic story by the name of 'Knight of Lolicon'. My loyal reviewer Mike M helped me with it, and so the main character was named after him. Such story scored a solid 200+ hits per month, but something was amiss... that work was written in spanish! And so, my # 1 fans in the english-speaking populace, Storm and Roc are helping me put it in Shakespeare's mother tongue. Hoping that it becomes just as popular, I present you the NTSC version: 'Rorikon no Kishi'!
YAMI-AUTHOR: With more deleted scenes, dummied out dialogue, unused songs and overall extra content!
A teacher is one who lectures. A teacher is one who devotes oneself. A teacher is one who does his best to make the students reach the top. This is a story about a career-less teacher and the ones who get in the way of his dreams.
Not half bad, isn't it? This is the headline of some story that I wanted to put on paper a long time ago. I came to me by looking at my own lifestyle, which was in need of some fantastical spicing-up. Oh, wait, I didn't even introduce myself...
I could tell you my name, but what I am going to tell doesn't require it... and it gives it a good mysterious boost. Yep, Im a regular guy, what our interwebs would call Christmas Cake: 'no one wants it after the 25th'. This isnt an old age, geez! But living in your parents' house along two crazy sisters and an all-too-permisive grandma, you would say: 'okay, it's time to leave them'. I like my home, got it? I am comfortable there. I leave the hole only a select few times, but this one would be a memorable one...
I dressed up to leave –but not by night time, I don't quite like it like today's youngsters- and you could really tell my lack of enthusiasm: a white T-shirt with some sauce taints and leather trousers, ones too large to fit my noodle-like legs. I looked like your typical Ben Tennyson, although I don't really cosplay as often as such fetish would dictate.
But enough about me. The one who started this story was a girl. Sooo clichéd, right? It's always a girl or a bad guy who starts up all the plots... okay, let's resume. I went to the bridge that crosses up the highway near my home, and she stood there... in the highest point. She was looking to no defined points, never spending too much time looking in the same direction. She looked as if she didn't know where she was. After approaching her, I could tell by her features that I had never met her.
The disappointment felt because of that foreigner lasted only a bit. A split second where our eyes crossed was enough for me to feel her sadness... wherever she was from, she missed someone or something, as she was about to cry. Again the feeling was very short lived, because a vehicle passed zooming behind her and made her trip... she was gonna fall down the bridge! The height wasn't much, but if she ended up cracking her head she could die!
Any other person would have just stood there unable to move because of the shock. And many ones would have ignored her and left the place, fearing... something. I hate those kind of people. Only one thing crossed my mind: Going Hero! I jumped forward and ran under her, stopping her fall with my own body, a crash whose damage still haunts me... but I had saved a life, guys! The blood rush helped me get her to a sitting position and let her rest on a more comfortable arrangement. Now we were face to face.
She was still more impressive when seen from such short distance. Her hair was red, very red, as red as fresh ripe tomatoes... and nonetheless it looked natural, there was no trace of hair dyes. Her face was slim and elongated, as if someone tried to pull it off. She had a funny mole in one side of her forehead, like a bug lost in a big desert. Ah, thank god, she was finally opening her eyes. They were sky blue, contrasting with...
With everything, geez. Those eyes reflected a calmness and kindness that clashed with what her hair shouted, 'shine', 'fire', 'passion'... her puppy eyes didn't match with her ragged leather clothing, as if Asuka Langley tried to play as the rude Travis Touchdow...
GIRL: Aug... where am I... did you catch me?
ME: Whew, looks like you awakened... yep, I catched you mid-fall. If not, you would have cracked your head!
GIRL: Oh, thanks...
ME: What were you looking for? Before falling you were looking everywhere, as if waiting for someone.
GIRL: I don't know. In fact, I know nothing... why am I here? And WHO am I, then?
ME: Now we have really done it! The poor thing has lost her memory, between the fall and the shock!
GIRL: But I didn't know anything about me even BEFORE falling... not even how I got here, it's so weird...
ME: Can you at least tell me your name? It would be a start, we'd continue from there...
GIRL: No, sorry... this thing here is a total blank. (points to head) It's a real drag!
ME: Que linda... [So pretty] (GIRL: What?) Er, I meant that you are pretty! It's true!
GIRL: Sounds fitting... we will leave it like that.
ME: How, what? You can't wander around with no name, what if I need to call you?
GIRL: No, I mean 'that'. Linda. As long as I don't remember my name, now I'm Linda.
ME: Gee, good choice... that way I can compliment her without her noticing, lucky me.
GIRL: And you? What's your own name?
ME: Ahem, well... you can call me 'Mike'. (GIRL: Come on!) Well, if you allow me...
GIRL: Don't worry, you are entitled to use a nick... I myself am doing it.
ME: Okay then! Say, you dropped something during all the mess. Looks like a letter!
Effectively, a very nicely adorned envelope slipped out of her pocket. It sported a quite complicated crest and a wax seal. It seemed to be there for an emergency, and this was a crude one. Having no other clues, we opted for opening it and see where it could lead us
LINDA: (reads) 'If you ever lose your past, just sleep a night and you will be alright'.
MIKE: 'And then everything will be clear... love, Mom and Dad'. Now this is helpful!
LINDA: Then this had happened before... maybe some disease had left me like this?
MIKE: Looks like it is temporary... you only need to rest the night and tomorrow we'll know all about you.
LINDA: But where? Im lost, I know no one in this town and I hardly have anything but the clothes I'm wearing!
MIKE: Look, about that issue... Ahem, this is difficult to say without looking crazy...
If someone was saying that I took her in to my house, whoever it they are, they are not gonna earn any prizes... it was too easy to guess. Luckily, the rest of my family was away, celebrating Holy Week in another province altogether... so I didn't need to explain anything. After dividing the food between us (I swear, when I get better at cooking I will laugh at all the times I needed easy-bake meals) we were getting ready to sleep, but wait! It was Sunday and so I had to bathe, it is a nag of mine. We had a problem: along her memories Linda had also lost her manners! Only she would have dared appear before me wearing... arg, can't say it! After throwing her a pyjama, I tried to wash myself and un-see such a life-scarring image, then remembered to check on my father's computer, eternally switched on. This would be the beginning of it all...
LINDA: What are you watching?
MIKE: Oh, this is my father's computer. It is always like this, I only need to check it once in a while.
LINDA: Well, let's go to bed at once, Im dying to sleep...
MIKE: Are you upset about something I did? Maybe about before? I didn't want to!
LINDA: No, you are right... the bodily secrets of boys and girls should remain so until they both agree to it... and I don't deserve to know yours, right? Because you don't even know who I am... not even I know myself!
MIKE: Come on, tomorrow you will be cured and you will be able to put me up to day.
LINDA: Of course! You really do deserve it. You saved me from something worse than amnesia... you are a hero!
MIKE: Don't spit out that word so lightly... I am no hero. Only a guy who did what he had to. A true hero is one who does his daily chores without fault, no matter how hard they may be. Not one who does something special just once...
LINDA: You are weird... but I guess that's why I like you. *blushes* Because you are very kind... very human.
MIKE: Er, okay, then let's go to bed already, so tomorrow we can get up early...!
I didn't exactly figure what was her impression of me, a good guy or a weird loon, but at least she didn't care. After many hours I got up to go to the bathroom, but I heard a noise in the computer's room. The house was supposed to be empty! With the claws on hand, I entered the room and saw her: a strange light was emerging from the screen and she stared at it as if she was sleep-talking.
FLUUUSH! The flash engulfed us both and that's the last thing I remember from that night. When I awakened I was wearing again the clothes I had when I rescued Linda, and a funny bugger was staring at me in the eye, penetrating my soul and analyzing it.
MIKE: What is this thing? It's looking funny at me! And its presence is even weirder!
BUG: Don't shout, you human being. I guess that's what you are, according to my data.
MIKE: What are you, tell me! You look like... let's see, how can I define it... you look like a Yoshi, but drawn in a very realistic style. And you are small as an imp, but at the same time you sport two fairy-like wings... arg, that's crazy!
VOICE: (far away) KYAAAH! (MIKE: The heck was that!)
BUG: It was that girl who landed with you... looks like she found something dangerous?
MIKE: We aren't home, we aren't even in my town... I don't know where we are, but I will go get her. Again!
BUG: Are you gonna play hero, boy? I am not sure you are up to my world's dangers...
MIKE Lookie bugger, a hero is one who does whatever has to be done, so I am helping her no matter what!
BUG: I have a name, kiddo! Im Shonenji, Genderiel of the Shonen Galaxy. If you want to do something useful for Lady Linda, I have the way to help you stop worrying about her safety all the time: if you want to pact with me.
MIKE: What can I do? (looks at the distance)
SHONENJI: To become the Knight of Lolicon, use the vast powers of the Goddess of Lolicon to strengthen yourself!
MIKE: Wait, what? Isn't that Lolicon thing regarded as... some kinky stuff, you know?
SHONENJI: Will you do it or no? I haven't got all day! And it seems she hasn't either. (faraway cries)
MIKE: Arg, let's do it! I can withstand whatever you got!
The weird animal released a puff of energy and I felt a strange force revolting inside my body, to grant me a costume... and one very worthy of a shining knight. Not even thinking it twice, I started running towards the screaming. Linda wasn't going to die now, not after having saved her once! But back then, I didn't know what I had gotten myself into...