Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and no money is made with this.
OF SHADOW, SHINE AND SHADES by dra6on
Lord Harry James Potter-Black, the Boy-Who-Lived, the Chosen One, the Saviour, the Man-Who-Prevails, the Defeater of Dark Lords Voldemort and Apophis, Master of Deathly Hallows, Deputy Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Supreme Mugwump and OPIRMA – Outrageously Powerful Internationally Recognized MAge – stood in the middle of his living room and stared at the clock mounted on the wall. There really was nothing interesting about the clock itself. It was quite new, a present received two years previously, and it really wasn't anything special. The hour and minute hands ticked forward passing over Roman numbers. Nothing magical about it either. No sudden announcements at even hours – though it did chime – or shooting sparks at half past... And it really didn't need those properties for the purpose the young man needed it for.
He was waiting for the clock to strike midnight. It was December 21st and he'd decided to use the power of Winter Solstice for his own purpose. But, no matter how he hoped the time would speed up, the clock was still only ticking at six minutes till twelve. He cast a glance around the room no longer even trying to ignore the shattering pangs of pain, loss and longing he felt when he cast his eyes on the familiar furniture. If everything went well he would never feel them again.
His eyes fell on the wizarding photos on the walls and the pain grew tenfold. He was slowly dying, being tortured by memories of happiness he'd never feel again. The sorrow, the agony, was clawing him from the inside and the wounds were not healing. He closed his tearing eyes and clenched the Staff in his hand. He could no longer just go about his life. If he was honest, he hadn't been able to for a year.
Not since his lover died.
Oh, he had tried. After spending almost four weeks in a near catatonic state he'd gotten up and done his duties. He'd taught his classes, performed the Deputy Headmaster's – he'd absolutely refused to take his lover's former position – responsibilities, upheld his image as Lord Potter-Black, Supreme Mugwump and OPIRMA and helped with the aftermath of Chaos War to the best of his abilities. He had been needed and he'd pushed aside his personal agony to answer the expectations of the world. But when the wizard had returned to the empty house at night, he'd merely sat in darkness, only passing out when the exhaustion became too much. Glamours had been his constant friends this past year.
But he knew he couldn't go on like this anymore. He was too spent. He had no will to live, nothing to fill his empty life.
And what kind of life was that?
Still, he couldn't just kill himself or run away. He was too self-sacrificing, too caring. Just like... Just like he'd always said he was.
How he missed his lover's voice.
The tears fell on his cheeks and he blinked most of them away to see the time. Two minutes. He looked around, again briefly wondering if everything would look different afterwards. If everything went right his feelings and memories should become dimmed but would not disappear.
"I'm sorry," Harry whispered, tasting the salt of his tears. "I love you. I'll always love you. But you wouldn't want me to disappear, and the only way to continue existing is through oblivion. Forgive me, Severus. I miss you so much."
It was the first time he'd said his lover's name since his sacrifice and the agony of letting his lips form the loved name was too much to bear. He raised his Staff, the green jewel embedded into it illuminating the room with its familiar green light as the clock started to chime. The young mage whispered: "Detergeo memoria. Maritus et morsus. Ut obliviscor, permitto oblivio. Ut emendo, tenebresco sensus."
The green light intensified and gathered around the young mage that had closed his eyes in expectation and acceptance. The twelfth chime broke and Harry James Potter-Black vanished, gone for eternity.
From this world.
A/N: I will post the warnings etc. in the first proper chapter. Oh, and I know no Latin and am just putting words together so bear with me. First published fic.