Breaking into Pieces
Xander wasn't sure what he expected to find when he walked into the privet strip club. The place catered to the more…exotic tastes. The joint was owned explicitly by humans, that much was obvious by the amount of human security around the area. It also accounted for the feel of magic working the moment he stepped into the dark stuffy night club.
It didn't matter if he didn't have amazing slayer powers or blessings from a Wiccan goddess. After being around it for so long, no one could mistake the familiar tingling, spider leg-like sensations crawling up his back.
Xander had heard about this place, about the kind of…people it employed to work the stage and back area. On the outside, or the surface of the inside of the bar one would think it was a pretty plush place. Very high end, top of the line structures giving the place a very elegant but sexy feel. If Xander hadn't known about what truly went on behind the curtain he might consider someone willingly working at this place as an entertainer. Especially someone like his old vampire nemesis Spike. The vampire was known to enjoy his creature comforts and one of those included sex. A place to get that, extra dosh, and a pint or two here or there of the ruby red and the vampire would have been in all his glory.
Too bad the patrons didn't know what the collars around the entertainer's neck really meant…
Xander was lucky to have come in catching the tail end of Spike's performance now. Undoubtably the blonde vampire couldn't see him because of the bright lights shining down on him as the punk danced around the stage and strutted. Regardless of the position he was in, there was no doubt that Spike enjoyed the attention.
Xander wasn't sure he could have believed it even if he hadn't had a good source in on this place. Spike, The Big Bad, caught after his plight in LA only to become a sex toy for humans. It was like the blonde got the short end of the stick every time when ever it came to humans. First the Initiative, then Buffy's rejection, and then the soul he fought for. Now this, and Xander couldn't say he wasn't about to toss his cookies thinking about what the vampire must have gone though in the months of his captivity so far.
The chip had been cruel; however Spike had adapted and survived with most of his self and personality intact. Xander wasn't sure he could take Buffy's side when it came to that little situation, Spike had been devoted to her and Dawn to the very end. All he wanted was some love and reciprocation back. Xander could understand, even identify, with the vampire in that aspect.
Seeing how Spike asked for the soul, Xander wasn't going to count it as a bad deal. Spike had evolved and become a better vampire for it, even if he hadn't wanted to admit it at the time. What got on Xander's nerves was how the Senior Partners had then brought him to LA and made him work with Angel.
In the end it didn't mater what bad deals Spike had gotten in the past. What did matter was the bad deal he was in right now, forced to perform for humans for the past 7 months and Xander could only hate himself for not getting to this sooner. Now working for the Watcher Council as he was, Xander had quite a few interesting contacts around the world. The one he had working at this place had told Xander about his old fri-enemy. Sure, fri-enemy wasn't a word but it fit what he and Spike had before he selflessly sacrificed himself to close the hell-mouth. They weren't quite friends, but not enemies anymore. They still bickered and snarked at each other, but it was more for amusement between the two of them then to try to hurt each other.
After hearing about Spike's predicament he spent a few nights thinking about it. There was no doubt Spike needed help getting out of this situation, but was he the man to do it? Xander admitted that he had the contacts and the resources to do it, but would the vampire welcome the help? Worst question of all was there enough of the vampire left to save? Xander didn't know what had gone on behind these walls in the past 7 months to break the vampire into his position, and to be honest he didn't want to know! He could only imagine the horrible treatment and mind games they must have played to finally get such a strong creature to submit like that.
Finally, last night, Xander had decided he was going to help Spike. However, he was going to do it without the council knowing. If the council knew, they'd tell Xander the same thing they told him when faced with any demon. It was not of their concern and Xander should focus his talents and energy to keeping the balance.
Fuck the balance, this was his friend. Okay, he'd admitted it. Spike was a friend, for more than just the reason he'd closed the hell-mouth so the rest of them could get out alive. He'd protected Dawn from Gloy, he'd been devoted to helping Buffy though some of the hard times, and he'd done a hell of a lot. Xander just couldn't turn his back on that stuff, which was why he was here tonight.
He'd called up his contact and asked how much it would take to free the blonde from his...obligation. After talking some numbers, and much haggling, Xander was now the proud new owner of his own sex slave vampire.
Xander almost gagged when he thought about the implications of that. His own sex slave…he'd never treat or think of Spike in that manor. However, the situation was delicate. He did not know what kind of mind the vampire had about him, and so he would need to take his qeues from the blonde as to how to bring him out of the conditioning. Regardless of where exactly his mind was in the conditioning, you couldn't just expect someone like that to go from a situation like this to a normal situation overnight. That's why Xander was prepared to invest as much time into this as he had to, to slowly uncondition Spike from this.
He'd done a bit of late night spending, purchased some psychology books, and would take some tips out of them as to how to bring Spike around slowly. Xander's final plan, if you could call it a plan, was to still treat Spike like a slave. However, he would not do it nearly as brutally or as cruelly as his previous owners had. Slowly, but surely, he would start to change little things in the conditioning such as what the blonde was allowed to do and what he wasn't allowed to do. Slowly, but surely, he hoped to bring Spike back. He just hoped he didn't break himself in the process.
Coming out of his musing, Xander noticed his contact approaching him. He shook the man's hand, how he would like to have put every last person in here in their place…sure they were demons but the way that these humans were treating them was just…inhuman.
"Xander, I'm so pleased to see you. Here to claim your new possession?" The man's smile was as rotten as his soul.
"Sure am, Luke. I have to admit; I probably would have paid more to get this one. The chance to have William the Bloody kneeling at my feet is a once in a lifetime opportunity." That's right Xan-man, Xander said to himself, smoose the bad guy and let him think you're no better than he is. Xander couldn't count the time's he'd done this. Gone in, infiltrated the 'inner circle' of the bad guys to get information, come out and then watched as their little 'empire' fell to the ground around their ears.
Xander lied, he had informed the council of this. And they had some specialists coming in to take them out. However, that would be long after he and Spike left the establishment and he gave them the signal that these were the guys they were after. Xander finally felt like he was making a difference in the world, and he was loving it.
Luke smiled once again, "No doubt, from what I hear he's an old enemy of yours. I have to say, it was hard convincing the owner to let this one go. He's brilliant and gets asked for many times by clients. But sometimes his mouth and attitude are more trouble than he's worth. The owner finally decided to that bit of logic an let the bloke go."
"No argument there, he was always running his mouth when he was working with us. Maybe I better pick up a ball gag on the way home." Xander pondered, really he was pondering ripping the guy's guts out where he stood.
Luke laughed, "If your looking for a gag go with a muzzle. He typically finds a way to bite though the ball eventually."
Come on stomach, stop flipping around. This is no time to show that very nice but expensive dinner I just had. Xander nodded plastering a fake smile on his face, "fangs and vampire strength, I'm not surprised."
Luke nodded in agreement, "we probably should have figured that one out early, the muzzles work best as they keep his mouth shut instead of opening it wide."
Xander was disgusted at himself to have been considering that an option. He smiled shaking his head, "I'll consider that. I think once he sees me though he'll clam up enough."
"Kicked his ass around a few times, have you?" Luke asked.
This was the part Xander had no problem lying about. In his point of view all those times he'd clashed against the blonde he had kicked Spike's ass…really! "You could say that, he was begging for me to stop." Xander nodded, he couldn't wait to get out of this place.
As if Luke could read his mind, he turned seeing Spike's performance over and nodded, "they are pulling him from the stage now, and they should bring him over soon for you to take possession of him. Good luck with him, mate, he's a wild one. Even after he started doin what we said he still had that bit of resistance in him y'know?"
A ray of hope, perhaps Spike wasn't nearly as gone as he'd feared. Regardless, it didn't matter if Spike still had hung onto his sense of self the vampire would still have conditioning that Xander would have to help him break. Even if he didn't want to do as the conditioning told him, something would still make him do it for fear of punishment that probably had come every time he had disobeyed.
Xander knew the moment that they were bringing the blonde British punk vampire to him, as the crowed started to part as the procession came though. All watching as the desolate vampire passed them, knowing he was going to a new owner and Xander couldn't tell if they were sad because their main source of entertainment was gone or they thought the vampire was going to someone who'd brutalize him. Xander snorted, it wouldn't be as bad as being here, he'd wager.
Spike took a moment to take in Spike's appearance. He had on a muzzle that Luke had described to him, it held his jaws firmly shut and the straps wound around his head to keep it on tightly. One strap went over his nose and over the center of his head while two others went around the sides and connected in the back. Xander was disgusted with himself to feel a jump in his pants. He couldn't find this attractive at all! That was his friend, the hero who had closed the Sunnydale hell-mouth. He'd examine his feelings later, right now was for Spike.
Traveling further down he noted the collar around the vampire's neck, it was metal and locked with a padlock in the back with a rope leash. He got that tingly sense of magic again; he knew that collar was magicked before Spike got close enough for him to really sense the spell keeping it on the vampire. He could already see himself staying up long nights in the library at the current home he resided in trying to find the correct spell to remove that thing.
Moving on Xander took a moment to examine the vampire's clothes. They were very nice, all dark colors that suited the blonde. Blood red silk shirt and leather pants, it wouldn't do to have him in rags in front of people he's trying to entertain. However, for all the nice clothes the vampire was barefoot. He'd want to examine the pads of the vampire's feet when they got home, Xander decided.
Finally, Spike's outfit was complete by shackles that bound his hands behind his back. These too, Xander was going to guess, were magicked as well. He was about ready to take the vampire home and administer some TLC to just make the other man feel good about himself for once.
A large man stopped in front of him, offering him the end of the leash. Not once had Spike raised his eyes to look at his new owner. The vampire seemed to not care; he thought he was going to a privet owner who'd do to him 24/7 what he'd been getting here. The other men stopped a ways away, the ones who had followed them out to make sure Spike didn't try to make a run for it.
The large man who had held his leash moved away and finally the two had an unbroken line of sight to each other. Leaving together, Spike's guards moved away and left them both standing there alone at the bar. Spike refused to raise his eyes off of Xander's boots, as if waiting for an order.
In the end, Spike wasn't sure what he was expecting. However, he couldn't surprise the startled jump when he heard Xander speak his name. He finally raised wide blue eyes to the man before him. Xander couldn't help but smile at the glimmer of hope in the vampire's eyes. The idea that Spike was happy, even relieved, to see him was an idea Xander would hang on to for the entire ordeal he knew they both were about to undertake. However, they weren't quite out of the fire yet.
Winding the rope leash around his hand, he slowly drew Spike in. The vampire's eyes widened in disbelief, had Xander really become no better than his previous owners? He allowed himself to settle down when Xander's voice sounded again right next to his face, "relax, fangless." The hated, yet welcomed, nickname served to steady the vampire considerably, "we're both getting the hell out of here, but I gotta make it look good. Be a good little vamp an look scared for me, okay?"
Scared, right that wasn't going to be hard. Spike was damn near terrified about the situation and its implications. Had Xander bought him outright? Did that mean he now belonged to the shaggy haired slayerette? He wished this damn muzzle was off so he could ask such questions.
Spike turned terrified blue eyes on Xander as the boy jerked the leash until Spike had to stand on his tiptoes. When had Xander gotten so strong? The boy held him like that and seemed to be examining him, and damn if he didn't shiver at the hungry gaze.
Xander looked into Spike's terrified eyes and worried that some of it wasn't acting. "Well, finally I've got you where I want you. You wouldn't believe some of the loops I had to jump though to get them to have a privet sale of one of their prized entertainers. You had better be worth it, fangless." Xander punctuated the last statement with a jerk to his leash. Spike found himself up against the hard construction worker's body then and he struggled only slightly, as though trying to get away. "You had better make sure your ass is worth every shilling I had to pay to get you, or your life is gona become a hell of a lot more miserable than it was here. I don't have to repeat any of that, do I?"
Spike frantically shook his head, trying to seem as though he was doing everything in his power to make sure he didn't piss off his new master. Deep inside, he was not ashamed to admit he was doing Harris' bloody Snoopy Dance in joy.
"Good," Xander said simply and released his leash enough to let the vampire down back onto his own two feet. Spike regained his balance as quickly as possible because he was forced to catch up to Xander as he walked ahead toward the exit, tugging at Spike's leash the whole time.
Spike was grateful when Xander got him into the passenger seat and seat belted him in. The car was nice, a newer model that he doubted Xander could have afforded before even with his construction job. There was more to this story and he hoped Xander decided to tell him.
After Xander got into the car, he drove for a couple of blocks before finally pulling off. He leaned over, "I'm sorry about that, Spike, I would have taken the muzzle off sooner but we had to make it look good and get out of there quickly. The council is moving in tonight to take out that little establishment." Xander said as he leaned over to work the buckles free of the muzzle.
As Xander worked Spike realized how bloody lucky he had been, Xander had pulled him out before the fur started to fly. Chances were, the Wanker's Council wouldn't think twice about dusting him when they had come to him in that club. Business was business with them, s'why he stopped dealing with them.
Spike opened his mouth and gasped for breath he didn't need when the muzzle was finally removed. Xander was disgusted to see that the muzzle had been designed so that breathing was near impossible with leather plugs that went up the nose as well as closing off the mouth. Where as Spike didn't really need breath to survive he knew it was a comforting mechanism the vampire took advantage of often. Take that away as well as his words and you were stripping him bare.
Spike coughed a few times, to get his lungs working again, and looked at Xander. His voice was a little raspy from disuse but he could still make out the words Spike tried to speak, "ta, mate."
"You probably want the whole story, right? What I'm doing here, where I came from, what I've been up to? Just a basic, what the hell? Am I close?" When he got a brief nod from Spike, Xander nodded. "Well, I'll fill you in later with some of the details, for now set back and try to rest. We've got a long drive ahead of us. You look exhausted anyway, might as well just try to pass…" Xander looked toward Spike as he shifted into drive to see the vampire already sleeping soundly, "…out."
Xander paused to consider the creature in his car, he couldn't help but smile. He knew he'd decided to do the right thing; Spike deserved at least some consideration after the hell that he'd been though. Xander wasn't sure exactly how much consideration he'd be able to give the vampire. But it certainly was more than what he was getting at that disgusting establishment back there.
Xander put the car in gear and pulled away from the curb, tasks going though his head of what he'd have to get now that Spike was living with him again. Thankfully, he had a few slayers to put to the tasks for him.
Spike didn't awaken again until they arrived. He wasn't sure what he expected in the way of housing but this certainly wasn't it. A mansion like house complete with a stone wall surrounding the grounds was a far cry from the one bedroom apartment the former Scooby had back before everything went to hell.
Spike realized why the place was so big when he saw five girls come running out, none he recognized as former acquaintances, and greet Xander as he got out of the car. That tingling sensation he got on the back of his neck, that age old feeling of fight or flight, that Spike would recognize anywhere. These were slayers! Maybe not active fighting slayers, but slayers none-the-less with the complete package. Bloody hell, Harris was running a boarding school for slayers. Spike did not feel like becoming the moving punching bag again, and he hoped Xander would explain things to him fairly soon.
Spike feigned sleep as a couple peeked in on him to look at the new pet vampire. He heard Xander call them away and set them to tasks, such tasks that would make Spike at home that included fetching blood and even new clothes. Spike was surprised to hear that Xander remembered his sizes and after giving those numbers to a cute little brunette slayer he sent them off to work.
Xander knew Spike wouldn't relish facing the little slayers yet. They were nice enough; he'd made sure to instill in them the knowledge that not all demons were bad and icky. Xander knew better than anyone there were those demons that were very nice and helpful even. Of course when meeting a new demon they were cautious and were prepared to slay if the need arose, but they did not immediately slay unless told otherwise.
When hearing about Spike coming to live there they expressed excitement and curiosity to see THE Spike. The very vampire who had sacrificed so much to close a hell mouth, they wanted to express their gratitude that he'd done so much to help the good fight. Spike needed none of that in his current state and until Spike started doing better and welcomed attention again.
Xander leaned against the passenger side of the car, watching Spike fake sleep so he wouldn't get pulled into the pack of squealing giggling girls, he couldn't blame the guy. He swung his keys thinking how to handle this situation. It was delicate and he needed to be considerate of Spike, PTSD after 7 months was going to be hard to break. However, Xander was a patient guy and he was prepared to invest enough time into this endeavor as need be.
Spike jumped when he heard a tap on the window. He hadn't heard anything in a few minutes and when Xander used a key to tap on the window it was louder than usual because he had been concentrating to listen to the tiny sounds around. Xander had seen Spike jump and cursed himself inwardly, figures the vampire would be jumpy, who wouldn't be? "Sorry about that, blondie, I know you were faking though. Ya big faker," Xander punctuated that with a smile, showing Spike he was only kidding to try and lighten the mood, "don't worry its safe now, I sent them to do meaningless tasks. I know it may be the last place you'd think you'd want to be, in the middle of a slayer boarding house, but really there's no place safer."
Spike didn't know what to say to that, knew that there was no answer required to that. Not only that, when he did open his mouth he'd usually gotten beaten for his trouble so he said nothing.
Xander knew he probably shouldn't have expected an answer, but he missed hearing the Brit's voice. "Hey, let's get you inside before they come back and demand to get all squealy and giggly all over you about your heroic acts of the past." Xander moved and opened the door. He reached across and hit the release for the seatbelt. Since Spike's wrists were still bound behind his back he helped the vampire up. "Not that we all don't appreciate the giggly squealy moments as opposed to the doomed-world's-gona-end moments but…and I'll shut up now." Xander said as he noticed the stale look Spike was giving him. Thank god a bit of that vampire still remained, even if he was suffering from some PTSD.
It became obvious that Spike was suffering from such a stress disorder as his eyes darted around as they entered the large home, half expecting someone to come in and beat him because he wasn't on his knees. The set of the vampire's shoulders, hunched as if trying to make himself seem small and unimportant, cemented this.
Before they could go any farther Xander put himself in front of Spike so the vampire had to look at him, "okay, before we go any further let's have a little chat." They looked at each other a moment before Xander conceded, "okay, I'll chat you listen. Now, since I technically own you now…" He saw the dejected look in Spike's eyes he hurried to add, "…I may own you but in my eyes you're still my friend and the reason I worked so hard to get you out of there is because I want to help. Now, to get to my point, I may technically own you but I'm not going to treat you like that. At least I'm going to try not to, and you gotta trust me on this okay?"
When Xander got a hesitant nod he pressed on, "I've done some research since I first found out about your…situation about a week ago. Yeah, it took that long to convince the guy to sell you off but that's beside the point, I've done a lot of research about PTSD and I think I've come up with a pretty good plan. A lot of my queues are gona come from you; I want you as comfortable as possible and bring you out of this conditioning they put you in. So, we'll start out slowly. We'll continue with the…ah…slave treatment but I'm slowly gona start changing things in the every day activities so you can comfortably come out of it. The reason I'm telling you all this, Spike, is because I want you to understand I'm not treating you that way because I want you as my slave like that; it's because I'm trying to help you."
This gave Spike need to pause and think about this, the logic behind the idea was sound. If he was still treated as he had been back in the club, but with subtle changes here and there every day to slowly change things, they should be able to break the conditioning. There were just a few tiny flaws, flaws that Xander had probably overlooked.
Xander saw the hesitation in Spike's eyes and took a deep breath to steady himself, he was so worried he'd fuck this up and end up screwing Spike up for good. He couldn't think like that, though. He found if he thought like that then he'd make himself fuck up. He had to think positively and keep telling himself he could do this. "Spike, you have permission to ask questions and talk to me however you find most comfortable."
He knew that the old Spike would not want to be told such a thing; he didn't need permission to do anything. He was the big bad that could come and go as he pleased. This Spike, however, looked relieved he'd been given permission to do such a thing. If he had permission he was doing nothing wrong.
Spike took a long moment to consider what to call Xander, usually he was forced to call the nightly customers 'sir' or 'ma'am' but Xander didn't warrant a general term like that. He also had to examine his feelings on the matter; Xander was investing time, money, and effort into him. The look in his eyes, when Spike decided to glance up, showed Xander was completely focused on him. Spike wasn't about to argue about whether or not he deserved that attention, if he did he was sure his head would explode. Instead, he just decided to feel grateful for such attention and relax into it. In the end there was just one thing he could think to call Xander, and this title he felt the other man deserved. Even if Xander insisted that owning him wouldn't be a factor in his caring for Xander, it was something Spike was relieved about. If he could have asked for who would own him he could pick no one better than Xander Harris, especially this matured Xander Harris.
Xander watched as Spike's shoulders relaxed slightly and he seemed to finally be comfortable in the situation. However, he was floored when Spike spoke. The voice slightly raspy for disuse, but still loud enough to understand, "thank you, master."
Xander instantly came forward and took Spike's shoulders in his hands. He needed to make sure that Spike knew he didn't have to call him that, "Spike, you don't need to call me that. I'm not your master; I'm the friend here to help you."
Spike actually met his eyes, and Xander's stomach flipped when he saw the very familiar mischief in the vampire's eyes he'd seen so long ago, "don't you wana be my master?"
Xander knew, god help him he knew what Spike was offering him. The complete and utter trust and he wasn't sure if he deserved that. And damn him if he hadn't wanted the vampire at one time, damn him if he still did. Spike needed someone who'd be mindful of his PTSD and bring him out of the conditioning not someone who'd paw at him every night. "Spike, do you realize what you're offering? Is that what you want?"
Spike didn't hesitate, still looking in Xander's eyes, and nodded. They could still bring him out of the horrible conditioning as they built a relationship. And to be honest, Spike didn't have anyone to turn to except this boy – not a boy anymore, very much a man now, a man with hefty responsibilities. He had to trust that Xander would know what to do and how to treat him to bring him comfort. Either that or he might as well just console himself now that he was owned anyway and he wouldn't have a choice either way.
Spike internally shook his head to dislodge those thoughts, he couldn't think like that anymore if he wanted to get better. He had to get better, this was the only ray of hope he'd had in those long 7 months, and he was holding onto it desperately.
He wasn't prepared when Xander took his head in both hands and crushed full lips against his. No one had kissed him before now. All his customers had only used his ass and left him broken on the floor to try and pick himself up again. Never had any of them kissed him and Spike found himself melting into the tender caress of lips. Spike eagerly reciprocated, but was shocked none-the-less.
Pulling back slowly so that he could look at Spike, Xander gave a half nervous smile, "I hope that didn't suck." Going back over what he said his face broke out into a full smile, "pun not intended, but welcome anyway."
Spike nodded and held perfectly still, his eyes remaining on Xander's lips as he watched the man talk, "how about we get you comfortable first," Xander said as he reached around behind Spike. This brought the pale vampire against Xander's body and he felt the erection Xander was sporting against his thigh. For the first time Spike didn't shy away from something like that, instead he took pride in the idea that that was for him; Xander was hard because of him.
Spike felt as Xander tried to work the buckles free of his shackles, but the things seemed glued shut. Spike gave a small sigh of regret; they hadn't taken any chances with him when they were restraining him. "Master," he spoke very softly.
Xander drew back to look at Spike, "what is it, Spike? What's wrong?"
"They magicked the cuffs master, they won't come off." Spike's voice was starting to get stronger; this must have been the most use he's gotten out of it in a long time besides screaming. "They'll come apart if you say I have permission, though."
Spike heard Xander swear under his breath, that'd be another thing he'd have to look up for a counter spell to. He was glad those bastards were going down tonight. He looked at Spike's worried face and guessed Spike was worried Xander was cursing because of him. He was quick to comfort the pitiful creature, "it's alright Spike, I'm sorry I didn't mean to lose my temper. Of course you have my permission to use your hands."
As if that were the magic words Spike's wrists came apart and he had full mobility. Xander was taken aback when Spike crumpled to the ground, pressing his forehead against Xander's boot. He almost didn't hear the words Spike spoke; he spoke them so softly, "thank you, master."
Xander closed his eyes and counted to ten, then he counted to ten in Gershock, if the guys who had done this to Spike weren't already getting theirs Xander would have gone back to gut them all. Like he had said before, he had to take his queues from Spike. "Spike, on your feet." This was said firmly, he wanted the vampire to know what he was about to say brooked no argument.
Spike was instantly on his feet, eyes to the floor, as if standing at attention waiting for something. He'd analyze that later, for now he had some instructions to give out, "this is the first thing we're going to tweak, so to speak. You can still thank me for things, but never like that again. You are to find new ways to thank me, for example words would be quite sufficient. However, I won't stop you from finding other ways as well, be creative." He smiled, it sounded perverted but he was giving Spike choices. He was letting Spike choose how to thank him for things like that, instead of degrading himself like that. It was a small step, but it was a step in the right direction.
Spike was being given choices, and he felt something inside him click. A small part of his freedom was returned to him. He again crumpled to the floor to thank Xander, cursing himself for doing so halfway down. Xander had just said never to do this again and he'd already broken a rule.
This brought another thing they'd have to endure into glaring focus. Punishments. Xander waited until Spike was standing again, they both knew what was coming. "I'm sorry master, I know you said never to do that again, I just…did it without thinking."
"This brings up the unpleasant issue of punishments. Because we are trying to break your conditioning you should expect some punishments if you do revert back to what those sick bastards made you do. Look at me, Spike." Xander waited until the cool blue eyes had slowly risen until they were locked on chocolate brown, "however, I think only a reprimand will be sufficient here. Never do that again Spike or I will take a belt to your ass."
Spike nodded frantically, he understood perfectly. Not that he didn't like getting his ass spanked if he was in the mood, but if someone used it as a punishment and then treated it as a punishment he knew it could potentially hurt like hell.
Xander nodded, "good, so long as we are clear." Xander's master voice was doing all sorts of tingly things to Spike and he didn't want Xander to stop. He somehow felt protected by his authority, and damn if that wasn't a funny switch. How long ago was it that he would have been fighting against any kind of authority instead of taking comfort in it? "Here is your first set of orders, Spike. Listen carefully because I'm only gona say them once. Up the stairs behind me is a hall way with many doors to it. My room is the last door on the right. You are to go upstairs, into my room, and prepare for a hot bath. You may borrow whatever clothes of mine to be comfortable in, but I do not want to see you in these when I come up stairs." He gestured to the current outfit, "it certainly isn't that you don't look sexy as hell, but tonight isn't about that. It's about comfort and settling in. Is that clear?"
Spike nodded, "yes master, perfectly. But, is there a time limit?"
Xander pondered that, thinking back on all the times he and the blonde vampire had traded harsh words he could have been mean to Spike and controlled it all, put time limits on everything. But he wasn't that kind of person anymore, friendship was more important to him now. That and whatever this was developing between him and Spike. Whatever it was, his concern over the vampire's well being outweighed any old grudges he may still hold. "Not at all, Spike. There are no time limits, and there never will be. Go upstairs, get comfortable, and take your time to enjoy it. Now hurry up before I decide you wear no clothes at all in my room," Xander leered at the vampire; it was just enough of a jibe to cause the vampire's mouth to turn up in the hint of a smile. That was the exact effect Xander had been going for and watched as Spike climbed the stairs.
As if that were the queue Xander's girls were waiting for, he heard them all giggling and walking into the front door. He greeted them with open arms and helped them with the bags. One was full of blood packets gotten from the local blood bank, all fresh and type O pos, the kind that Xander remembered Spike liked. There were also a few bags of clothing that were the original norm for the vampire, black T's, black jeans, a new pair of docs, and a third bag held toiletries. He had to smile; most were picked out by the girls thinking these were things a man would like. He had to give them an A for effort anyway, among some of the purchases was Axe body wash and hair gel. Well, Spike would appreciate the hair gel anyway, a chance to get the old Big Bad back would work wonders for his comfort level.
A little redhead who held the bag of toiletries looked up at Xander, her name was Trisha but she liked the other girls to call her Ember. It was true she was tough and hot as an ember, but she was also shy and insecure of herself. "I hope these are alright, Xander. I mean, we weren't sure what he'd like so we just picked out a few things."
Xander nodded taking the bags. He handed the bag containing blood to the brunette beside him. Her name was Wilamina, everyone called her Mina for short, "here, Mina, would you go deposit these in the fridge."
The young woman nodded, taking the bag and heading into the kitchen. The other three took this chance to gang up on him. A blonde reminding him of Buffy, her name was Beth Ann of all names, came forward first. "When do get to meet him, Xander? Is he gona be okay?"
The other two sounded off about wanting to meet THE Spike they had heard so much about and asked if he was going to be alright as well. Xander held up his hands, "girls, you gotta be patient. If you had gone though what he's been though you'd want some privet time too. Just keep up your studies and training and I'll let you know when he's ready to be sociable. I promise, once he's ready for meeting a group of new and eager slayers you'll be the first ones I tell. I mean, be understanding. He's a vampire, he's going to be wary enough meeting you guys as it is. Let's try to give him a good first impression and not crowed him, alright?"
By this time Mina had joined them again after completing her task and agreed along with the others to take it easy. Xander nodded, "great, now I'm gona go upstairs and see to him. If I so much as suspect any of you are at the door trying to hear anything I'll suspend that slayer from patrol duties for a month."
All five girls groaned in unison, they loved patrolling so much that it was often the subject of punishments. Where as they weren't activated slayers they didn't do so much in the way of a normal slayer would do, just general sweeps though the area to keep bad demon activity to a minimum. It was the minimum duty a slayer would do and they wanted as much as they could get. "Glad I have that clear," Xander said as he turned toward the stairs, "Well, off to your studies!" He said to them and they all scrambled to do just that.
Mina remained at the base of the stairs and watched Xander climb them, "Xander, if you need anything just let us know okay?"
Xander paused to look down at the small brunette and smiled, "don't worry Mina, I think I can handle it. But if I do need anything I'll call down." Mina seemed satisfied by that and left to do her own thing while Xander continued to climb the stairs.
Xander rushed forward when he heard a crash and thud coming from his room. Damn he thought that Spike would be okay by himself focusing on the tasks Xander had given him. Never mind, it was Xander's mistake not to keep a close eye on Spike right off so he had to clean up whatever mess had been created. He came into the room and held back a sigh of relief. Spike seemed alright, if the cuts on his feet were the only thing. The pale man was huddled, naked, in a corner, trying to make himself look as small as possible. At Xander's best guess with Spike's body language he'd surmise that Spike was going though a relapse of memories triggered by something he may have done or seen. At least, that's what the books said about behavior like this.
Spotting the origin of Spike's bloody feet he quickly moved to the end table where he'd kept a lamp, smashed now, and shoved the shards out of the way with his booted foot. He approached Spike as though he were approaching a wounded animal. Slowly he got down to Spike's level and got to his side. Very carefully he coaxed a shaking Spike into his arms, "hey, it's alright. Hush now, tell me what happened."
The shaking increased and not wanting to make any assumptions Xander waited for the sound of Spike's voice to tell him. Spike's voice creaked and broke slightly as he spoke, "I-I was doin as you said, master, getting ready for a bath. I'd gotten undressed an was walkin' toward the bathroom when I remembered you didn't say if I could take a bath, just said to get ready. Then I remembered s-some of the things they did when…when…"
Xander's lips on his soothed Spike and hushed him from telling the rest, "you don't need to say it Spike, I can only imagine. Here is a new order; never do you have to tell me about that kind of stuff okay? You can tell me, and I will listen, only if you want to. Other than that, you are welcome to take comfort in my arms."
Spike shivered and nodded, "yes master, thank you." And just like Xander had ordered earlier, Spike didn't try to crumple to the ground in a thank you-submission position. Instead he leaned up and kissed Xander's cheek chastely, and ever would Xander have taken Spike for the type to act like a blushing virgin.
Xander rubbed the back of Spike's head as the vampire buried his face in the mortal's neck. He let Spike hide his weakness, the tears he felt splashing against his skin as the vampire let himself break. Here there was no one to see, but he still let Spike hide it. It would do Spike more harm than good if he forced the vampire to show such weakness. He had to let Spike hold on to that feeling of strength and self worth if he hoped the blonde would get better.
After a few moments he felt the quite sobs wracking Spike's body taper off, and he carefully shifted. "Hey, how about you let me take a look at those feet, I bet there's some glass in there to pick out."
Spike jerked into a setting position, swiping the back of a hand across his eyes. "M'sorry master, shouldn't be sittin here blubberin like a little girl just had her virginity taken."
Xander took the vampire's chin into his hand and made Spike turn to look at him, "hey, you remember what I said okay? There's things you'll probably end up doing eventually that'll piss me off and warrant punishment but this-" he waived his hand around indicating Spike's small breakdown and the broken lamp "-isn't one of them. Never will be a punishment-worthy act."
Spike nodded silently and watched as Xander slowly got up. He flailed a bit when he was scooped up into the former construction worker's arms and deposited gently on the bed, he couldn't stop the words that came flying out of his mouth next, "oi, m'not some drunkin prom date whelp."
Xander grinned as Spike slapped a hand over his mouth, "what did you say, Spike?" The expression Spike had on his face caused Xander to chuckle lightly as the vampire shook his head with wide eyes. He knelt down next to the vampire, intending to examine his feet, "that's the Spike I know. I'll give you a spanking for that little outburst later."
Spike nodded and watched as Xander sat on his butt then dug out the first aid kit from under his bed. Carefully he used a pair of tweezers to pick out the small shards of glass from Spike's feet. He just dropped them to the floor among the pile of other glass from his lamp, figuring to clean it all up later.
Having a second thought while examining Spike's feet he reached up, "hand me my phone there beside the bed." He had to only wait a second for Spike to find the object and press it into his hand. He nodded and flipped the cell open.
Getting the girl he had wanted to talk to he smiled, "hey Mina, would you do me a big, big favor and heat up a couple of those packages of blood I had you girls go get. Yeah, just heat them up and bring them up to my room with the biggest mug we have okay? Just leave it outside the door, thanks."
Hanging the phone up, Xander noticed the curious look in Spike's eyes. "That was Mina, she's one of the slayer potentials that live here to study and train. You'll meet them eventually, but only when you're ready. They've been told to back off so they shouldn't bother you too much." After making sure all shards of glass were out of Spike's feet he kissed the top of one and smiled, "all better now. I'm not gona bandage them. The bleeding has already stopped and once you get blood into you they should heal up quickly."
Spike nodded at that and rubbed his arm a moment. Time to get a little info, "master, wot happened… "
"After Sunnydale," Xander finished. "well, a lot of stuff happened actually. The Watcher Council slowly rebuilt itself. For a while Buffy and me were running a sort of HQ up in Scotland while others had little bands of slayers around the world doing what they could. So far things seem to have settled down enough for some order to get back together. Buffy and Willow are at WC HQ at the moment."
"And, wot are you master?" Spike asked as he sat there watching Xander recount some of the events.
"I'm a watcher now, sort of I guess. They figured the things I've seen and done warranted a position. They gave me some training and then sent me here, Whales, to set up a boarding school sort of. Some potential slayers come here to study and train with me before they get activated and sent into the field." Xander said as he stroked the underside of Spike's foot, just across the arch. Spike wiggled the toes of that foot invitingly.
"The watchers don't know about you, if that's what you're worried about Spike. I told them about that place you were at so they could dismantle it, but I didn't breathe a word about you to them. I have contacts around the world now, and one was at that club that told me about you. I set it up so I could pull you out of there before the watchers got there to take it out. The watchers are more interested in maintaining balance. That includes taking down establishments that tortured demons like that as much as it does taking down demons who want to open hell mouths." Xander finished just as he heard a knock on the door. He got up form his spot on the floor to answer and accept the tray that had three bags of blood and the biggest mug in the house. Mina and he talked a moment, giving Spike a chance to examine his situation. He owed Xander a lot more than he thought. Not only did the whelp own him from purchasing him outright from his previous owners, but he also owed him his life for not letting the watchers just deal with him like they did so many other demons in their way.
Spike caught a glimpse of the girl, Mina, at the door. She saw him and he wasn't surprised to see the blush cross her cheeks from his state of undress. However, she did not shy away. She gave a small polite waive and then returned her attention to Xander.
The girl seemed very nice, he wasn't getting the vibe from her that she would stake first and ask questions later like Buffy use to do. If Xander was in fact teaching these girls then he had no doubt they had a view of the grey areas that came with the world instead of the glaring black and white versions. In a way, Xander had become a father and a damn good father he was compared to his own father. Spike allowed a small smile to play at his lips; he'd told the whelp he was a good man. Maybe Xander could see it for himself now.
Spike broke out of his train of thought as Xander closed the door and brought over a tray with three blood bags and a mug, human blood he noted from the stickers on the bags. All of it expired the day before and his favorite O pos. Spike looked to Xander waiting for permission just to be on the safe side. Both men knew it'd be a while before Spike would be comfortable enough to go so far as to go into the kitchen himself and heat up his own blood.
"Eat up, Spike, while it's still warm." Xander said as he sat the tray on the bed and headed for the bathroom. Spike dug in the moment he heard the command given. He didn't bother with the mug at first, preferring to just shift faces and bite into the bag and suck it dry. He did that for the second bag as well and by the time Xander was returning to the bedroom Spike had bitten into the third bag but preferred to drain it into the mug first. He watched as Spike savored the blood, bloody ambrosia he'd remembered Spike calling it once before. "Tomorrow I'll start looking for ways to counter the spells on your collar and shackles. See if we can't get them off. That said we'll still get you a more comfortable set to use until you start to feel more comfortable that no one's going to punish you if they aren't on you." Xander rubbed his chin absently, "of course I can't say you don't look damn good with a collar and shackles on."
Spike smirked, he knew he still had a long way to go but any comfortable conversation between them was welcome and a big step in the right direction. "You remember me, master. When I'm good I'm very good. But when I'm bad, I'm better."
Xander closed the gap between them in three strides and had his fingers in Spike's hair a moment later, pulling the vampire's head back so he was looking up at Xander. "That's something I'm looking forward to." He closed his lips around Spike's and the taste of blood didn't wig him anymore. He'd tasted his own in his mouth enough times that it just didn't bother him anymore. And tasting Spike's mouth as it was, coated in blood and copper tasting, was a symbol that Spike couldn't deny. It was a symbol of acceptance of what he was all of what he was. Something no one had ever done since Dru had turned him and Angelus had taken him in like he did.
"Fuck…master." Spike mumbled as Xander pulled away.
The exclamation made Xander chuckle, "maybe later, if you're a good boy." Xander tapped the mug still in Spike's hand. "Eat up, finish off all the blood and then come into the bathroom for your bath."
Spike hurried to comply. As much as Xander's consideration was doing wonders for him, he wanted to get clean. Still able to feel all those hands that had touched him time and again, the dicks that had been in his ass and his mouth, he wanted to get as clean as he could. It also made him pause to think, Xander knew that's what he'd want. Everything Xander had done so far, somehow he'd known that's what Spike had needed. It went beyond studying psychology books and taking tips from doctors in the field. This came from first hand knowledge.
Spike shook his head, they'd talk about that if Xander wanted to, just as he'd given that option to Spike. He felt somewhat relieved, knowing that he could talk about it and Xander would avidly listen if Spike wanted to. Maybe one day he'd have the courage to voice what had happened. But for now, as long as it remained unspoken it was as though it had never happened and Spike could begin to heal. Only when the memories became too much to bear would be think of breathing a word about it to alleviate some of the pain. There would be time for everything, now. Time to grieve and heal, and right now all he wanted was to sink into the hot bath Xander had run for him and give over to the soothing comfort.
Spike was finally compelled to move when Xander appeared in the door way to tell him the bath was ready. When he entered the bathroom Xander took him in his arms, "let me get a good look at you, alright?" Spike could only nod. Where as his hair had been kept bleached while he remained in the custody of that night club, his body couldn't say the same for upkeep, malnutrition had taken its toll and where as he wasn't skeletal he was still too thin for Xander's liking. He'd have to ply the vampire with plenty of bags of blood, and maybe some fresh off the tap, to bring him back to fighting form. He turned Spike around a bit to look him over. He got a closer look at the collar, and noticed the irritation to skin underneath it. The thing must not have been removed in the months of his captivity, "I want to find a way to remove these cuffs and collar as soon as possible. Much longer and I'm worried the skin might start to rub right off."
That was no lie; Spike had no way to refute that. Some nights it felt like his skin had been on fire from the rashes underneath the bands of leather and metal. Given the state of malnutrition he never had a chance to heal from them either. He knew the moment Xander finally noticed all the bruising under the forecent lighting of the bathroom because feather light touches started to graze the places where bruising had been the most extensive. Because of the lighting they looked harsher than they really were, and Xander could tell that these bruises were a few days old at least to have still been visible they must have been bad.
Suddenly getting an idea he pulled Spike back around and took his hands in his. "I wonder, if I were to give my permission if the cuffs would come off." He looked up into Spike's eyes and Spike blinked, that was something he hadn't thought of either. The guys at the club had just said that they wouldn't come off because they were magicked. But if Xander was able to get them to separate just giving his permission, maybe it was possible they'd come off if he gave his permission again.
"It's worth a shot, innit master?" Spike waited, watching Xander as he thought about this.
Xander nodded, "it certainly is worth a shot, and it'd save me from looking up counter spells right away for them. Well, here goes nothing yeah? Spike, I give my permission to not have to wear the shackles."
Spike could feel the moment the magic inside the cuffs dissipated, so could Xander. Xander once again reached up to the buckles and this time the buckles moved. Spike thought he might cry with joy as the things were removed and tossed to the side. Ever since they had been put on too tight he'd wanted them off. Xander gently rubbed at the sensitive, irritated skin of his wrists. The rash there seemed pretty bad, but he knew given time, and plenty of blood, they would heal now that the cuffs weren't constantly irritating the skin there anymore.
Xander couldn't help but feel the same, one symbol of Spike's captivity was gone but there was another there waiting to be removed. "I don't suppose they'd do the same permission thingy with the collar like they did with the cuffs. Probably figured they didn't want anyone trying to get the collar off you." Xander mentioned.
And only Xander could have put it so eloquently. He shook his head in the negative and Xander nodded. He moved Spike toward the bath, "get washed up then, I'll leave some clothes on the bed for you. I'm going to do a little late night research to see if I can't find a spell to counteract this one. I'd really like to get that collar off you tonight, I can tell the skin is irritated and it'd heal better without the collar there.
Even if Xander were able to deactivate the collar magically, he'd still need to cut the thing off. From what he could tell the thing had been welded on or possibly magically sealed, there was no seam or clasp holding it closed. It was just one solid band around Spike's neck with eyelits for leashes or tie-offs. That was okay, that's what the bolt cutters in the shop downstairs were fore, Xander reminded himself smugly.
Xander brought a few books up that he figured were relevant for what he was looking for and dropped them back on the bed. He had also grabbed a broom and was brushing up the shattered lamp when he heard Spike's voice, "master, would you help me?"
Xander appeared in the door way, Spike looked comfortable relaxed in the tub with the warm water seeping the heat into his heatless body. "What'd'ya want help with?"
"M'hair for starters, master." The sad blue eyes that looked up at him wrenched at Xander's heart. On the outside Spike's hair looked groomed, but he could only imagine the tangled mess it could be underneath.
Giving a short nod in affirmative he walked over rolling up his sleeves. He knelt at the side of the tub and eyed the curls on top of Spike's head. "Right, just dip down and get it really good and wet for me."
Without hesitation Spike did just that, the water stung at the irritated wounds around his neck but he ignored it. He felt Xander's hands in his hair, just messing the curls around to try and break them up and get them wet. However, the lose grip the hands held didn't stop the panic attack. Spike quickly pushed Xander's hands out of the way and broke the surface in a panic. He tried to scramble out of the tub when he felt Xander's arms around him.
As if that was all that was needed to break the spell Spike was under, he calmed. Xander's soothing words and low voice a balm to his tortured soul. "What was it that time, Spike?" Xander could imagine, but he wanted to hear the vampire first.
"They held me under, Master." Spike held on to Xander tightly, "I know I don't need to breathe but-"
"It's a comfort mechanism, I know Spike. I'd imagine vampire lungs don't like water just the same as human lungs." Xander mused as he held Spike in his arms, not caring that he was getting soaked as well. When he got an affirmative nod he nodded as well.
Spike swallowed a few times and continued, "a few of them, regulars, would hold me under while they…"
"You don't have to say it Spike." Xander smoothed his hand over Spike's back, counting the bumps each time his hand came in contact with one of the virtibret.
"Yeah, I do," Spike said as he allowed the human to hold him. "They'd hold me under while they fucked me – raped me. A few times I did inhale, god it hurt…the water fillin up me lungs. Hurt so bad I'd pass out, wouldn't wake for a day or so an not until they got the water out. Course, then I was useless till I did wake an that just got me a beatin' for me trouble."
Xander held him and nodded as he thought about what Spike was telling him. "I'll never hold you down under the water, okay? Here, set back and I'll get the shampoo and give your hair a nice wash.
Reluctantly Spike sat himself back down into the tub. The warmth felt good again, and he wasn't quite as terrified as he'd been a moment ago. He knew some people even got off on being held underwater like that, but to him it did nothing but equal pain.
Xander got down the bottle of shampoo he used, it smelled like lavender. It was a scent Anya had long ago gotten him into, claiming that the smell of lavender relaxed people. Well, for a vampire who had an enhanced sense of smell he hoped this helped. Dripping some into Spike's hair he took a moment to examine the scalp underneath the bleached locks. He made a mental note to have the girls pick up some bleach for Spike, Spike's roots were starting to show and he knew the vampire was fussy about his hair. However, what he saw next gave him a moment to pause. There were more than just his roots showing. There was blood caked around some of the hair on his scalp where he obviously healed from a few head wounds.
"I swear Spike, if those bastards weren't getting theirs right now I'd go back down there myself and rip them all apart." Xander mentioned in answer to what he found on Spike's head.
Spike could guess why Xander had made such a vicious statement; obviously he'd found the dried blood from his last 'customer' and spoke up. That didn't lessen the swell of appreciation he felt deep down that someone would kill for him. In vampire families no one killed for you unless they were your sire, your childe, your consort, or your mate. Spike found himself relaxing as Xander worked the shampoo into his hair. Soon the white suds tinted pink as the caked blood began to loosen and dissolve.
Not wanting to dunk Spike back under the water, Xander found a way to adapt his bath so that he didn't have to. He came back with a large plastic cup and had the vampire sit forward while he worked on rinsing his hair of the bloody suds. Xander sat on the edge of the tub while he applied another application of shampoo to his hair to be certain that everything was clean.
Xander wasn't sure if it was the attention he was paying Spike's hair, or the lavender scent itself, but the vampire seemed to relax finally. As he suds up Spike's hair the second time he played with it a bit. He smoothed it all up into a Mohawk on top of Spike's head and spiked the Mohawk. Xander smiled a bit, it would have been a very Spike hair-do if Spike ever wore his hair like that.
"Havin fun, are you, master?" Spike looked up at him with an almost-smile and he had to smile back.
"I'm having a blast, Spike. You should see this, it's so you. A spiked Mohawk," Xander said as he finished the last smaller spike on the back of his head. "It's too bad vampires don't photograph, huh?"
"Vampires photograph just fine, master. As long as you have a camera that don't use mirrors or anything like that, vamps will photograph." Spike said
Xander seemed to absorb this for a moment before he bolted from the bathroom. He turned on his heal and came back to the door way, "don't. Move," he said as he left again. Spike blinked as he watched the human rummage around in his night stand beside the bed. He came back with a digital camera and came close enough. He snapped a picture then quickly came to the side of the tub to show Spike after he was sure the vampire was photographed like Spike had said.
Taking a look at the picture presented on the LCD screen he heard Spike snicker softly and then start to laugh. The laugh was contagious as Xander started to laugh as well. This was something Spike needed as a little pick-me-up, as far as his mood went. Seeing his hair as ridiculous as it was was hilarious. Xander put the camera away and then picked up the plastic cup again, "alright, enough, time to get my vampire squeaky clean and ready for dinner." Xander quickly rinsed the shampoo out of Spike's hair until the water ran clear. Now came the unpleasant part, "Spike, I want to make sure your clean everywhere. Will you…that is will allow me to see your ass so I can see what injuries are there and to get it clean?" Xander looked at Spike; it was up to the vampire who he allowed to touch him now. He held no foolish delusions; he knew that his previous owners had probably made sure to make as much use of him before handing him off as possible.
Spike seemed to dart a panic filled gaze around, however he finally looked up to Xander's face and gave a short nod. Slowly sliding forward, Spike got up on his knees in the tub and held on to the edge as Xander moved around the bathroom to gather a few supplies.
Xander sat on the edge of the tub once again and took a look. There was a lot of bruising around Spike's anus, he could tell that. He sat his finds down and rubbed a hand over the small of his back, "relax Spike. I'm not here to hurt you; you won't have to experience that ever again. If you start to panic just set down and try to relax, I'll stop touching you if that happens and we can try again after your panic goes away."
Spike could only nod as he held still for Xander's questing fingers. They were softer and a lot more forgiving than the fingers he was use to feeling back there, if they had ever bothered to put fingers there anyway. Rarely was he properly prepared for entry, he was just thrown down and used as a good hole to fuck.
"I know you'll heal, anyway, but I think I'll use something to try and minimize the pain okay?" Xander didn't wait for Spike's answer; he picked up a tube of cream he used on himself anywhere when he had cuts. It was specially made with herbs for healing and a light anesthetic to numb the area cut up the most. It was cold, so Xander warmed it between his fingers before letting them quest out to Spike's waiting hole. Besides the bruising he could feel scared tissue inside as he carefully pushed one finger in to coat him with the lotion. Obviously scared because the tears that had happened never got a chance to heal, testament to how Spike had been used. That'd never happen again, if Xander had anything to say about it. "I'm gona add another finger to try and get some more in, you let me know if you need me to stop." This time he waited for Spike's nod and carefully pushed another coated finger inside. The lotion coated everywhere and Spike seemed to relax suddenly, as the medication in the lotion eased the pain.
"Damnit, that's great Master," Spike said as the pain was eased and he let his head fall to the side against the tub's edge. The careful consideration Xander was giving him was almost his undoing, almost the last thing that let him finally break down. But not yet, not when he was still in a tub full of water and memories of things that had happened before in other tubs of water were still too close.
"I bet a relief, huh? I'll keep using this until you're healed up if you like, it's pretty good stuff." Xander put the tube to the side and smoothed his hands over Spike's ass, "all done, you can set back now." As Spike did he felt so much better now, somehow Xander had cleaned him better than he thought and he felt better about himself and everything else. He let Xander rinse his head of the conditioner they had left in and slowly stood only to be enveloped in a big soft towel. The thing was so big it went around him no trouble and with room to spare.
As Xander rubbed him dry the friction warmed Spike a little and he reveled in it. He'd admit it, he was a warmth whore. He felt Xander's hands card though his lose hair and he looked up at the other man, "looks like you might need some bleach, if you want to keep up the big bad look."
Spike nodded and let Xander pull him out. The water was dirtier than Xander thought it would be, but it didn't really matter now. His vampire was clean and feeling better about himself and that's all that mattered. He hit the switch for the plug and the bath slowly drained. Spike let Xander lead him out into the bedroom and steer him around away from the broken shards of the murdered lamp and to the other side of the bed. When Xander sat on the edge of the bed Spike went to his knees.
Xander went still and Spike cursed inwardly, he should have remembered these kinds of positions Xander didn't like, but his new master had yet to tell him this position wasn't allowed either. Xander's hand decended and he started to comb though Spike's still wet hair. "I don't mind this position, Spike. But you're only allowed to kneel at my feet, got it?" When he got a short nod, Xander was satisfied, "just remember, never again do I want to see you in any degrading position." Again, Xander got a short nod and he was satisfied with that. He ran his fingers though Spike's hair and rummaged around in his cabinet for some scissors, "now, do you want me to trim your hair down now or wait?"
"You can trim it now, master. I'll think about bleachin' it tomorrow." Spike said as he sat still.
"Right, lay that towel out to catch the trimmings." Xander said as he got out a comb as well. Spike got up enough to lay the huge towel out and settle back on it. Xander went to work trimming down the locks to an even length all around. Most of the bleached blonde got cut out in the process leaving the darker roots and about an inch of blonde at the ends. The two-tone effect looked cute on Spike, but he knew the vampire wanted the big bad back and that meant bleaching.
After running his hands all over Spike's head and shoulders and back to dislodge any clippings left, he smiled, "that should do it, Spike. Go ahead and get dressed in some sweats. You're allowed to sleep in the bed with me, so when you get finished, get settled." Xander stood and gathered up the towel that had the hair in it and set it in the bathroom to deal with later or tomorrow.
When Xander came back into the room Spike had gotten himself dressed in a pair of the big sweat pants that belonged to Xander and was curled up under the blankets, just as his master said. Xander smiled, the few steps they'd taken today already were small steps yes, but these steps put them well on their way to getting better again. Not just Spike, Xander as well. After losing so many people, after failing to make a difference before, Xander had found somewhere that he could do something big. He was training potential slayers and now he was making a difference in Spike's recovery as well.
As Xander laid down on the bed to relax, Spike rolled over until his chest was pressing against Xander's side. He felt the vampire's cool mouth begin leaving open mouth kisses down his neck and chest. Xander sighed internally; time to address one more thing. "Spike, you don't have to, um, repay me for anything, especially not in this way. You have no obligation to do this for me to help you."
Spike raised his head to look at Xander, "I understand that, master. I want to show you how much I appreciate you, not to service you." He played the fake hurt look; damn he was good at that. The big, round, soulful eyes, the slightly pushed out bottom lip in a pout. Spike's look that said 'please don't hurt me, unless you want to hurt me good,' and damned if Xander didn't want to hurt him good. "Unless you don't want me, master. I can understand that, but then I'd have to sleep on the floor."
"Spike, you are a player, you know that? You like to play both sides against the middle. In this case, my brain is telling me we shouldn't progress this fast, but my cock is telling me to take what you offer." Xander ran his fingers though Spike's hair, and the vampire moved into the touch like a cat would.
"So, wot does your heart say master?" Spike asked as he moved into the touch, Xander almost expected him to start purring next.
"My heart tells me to keep you safe here, with me, and love you." Xander felt the vampire tense then, love hadn't been discussed but it was very much present.
Spike looked up then, his eyes large in wonder. Having always been Love's Bitch he couldn't help but jump at the chance of someone loving him, and now was no different. "You mean that?"
"I sure do, I have for some time Spike. It started out as a crush in Sunnydale. I thought it'd go away after you were gone but it only got worse and after I found out you were alive, I knew I just had to find you." Xander stroked Spike's cheek, the creature in his arms was so very close to breaking and Xander wasn't sure if he should keep Spike from breaking. After all, in order to heal you had to break first.
"You've found me, master." Spike said and then swung his leg over to straddle Xander's hips. He began rubbing himself against Xander though their sweats, he could feel Xander's erection beneath and knew they wouldn't last long. But he knew they'd last long enough to show Xander how appreciative he was that Xander had come to rescue him, had brought him away from that wretched place he'd called home for 7 long months, had given him a new reason to live.
While Xander was distracted, holding Spike's hips to undulate his hips against the blonde vampire's, said vampire was distracted looking for something. He opened a drawer by the bed and found something that could work: a tube of lotion. It'd have to do for now, he'd gotten on without such preparation before, but it was a welcome addition now. He'd have to ask Xander to pick up a few things when ever he went out next, lube would be among the items requested.
Giving Xander no chance to protest the events put in motion by his vampire, Spike had Xander's sweats down enough to reveal his cock and what a cock it was. Thick and long, perhaps that demon chit hadn't been lying all those times. He'd imagined Xander had some talent, but he wasn't sure he'd go so far as calling him a Viking in the sack. Now was his chance to find out, anyway.
Spike leaned forward so his chest was against Xanders and wiggled himself out of the too large sweat pants, a task easier done than originally thought because they hung so loosely on Spike's hips anyway. When he was resting comfortably against Xander again, the vampire spoke softly to the human beneath him, "open me up, master." To show what he wanted, Spike put Xander's hands on either of his ass cheeks and moaned softly when the mortal pulled them apart to show his most hidden place.
Spike coated his fingers in lotion quickly and began the slow drawn out process of opening himself for Xander. He made sure to put on a show for the boy, showing how much pleasure he got out of this and he did get pleasure. He made sure to stimulate his own prostate over and over again as he lubed himself up, but he stopped before long because he didn't want this over before it started. His hard cock already flat against his belly, begging for attention. Spike used the rest of the lotion on his hand to coat Xander's cock in the viscous fluid, angled the blunt tip to his hole, and slowly pushed back until the head popped in. Spike held still and both men moaned, Xander felt bigger than he looked and Spike took it slow as he sat on the hard length. This was so much better than anything he'd ever had. He was on top so he could control the pace of the dance. However, he knew his place for the time being. He was riding Xander's cock and providing his master with the dance in the first place.
When Xander's cock was fully sheathed in Spike's tight ass Xander put his hands on his hips and held him still as he ground his hips up in a pleasing way. "You're perfect Spike, my Spike now, so very perfect, more than I could ever ask for."
Spike didn't need to hear such endearments at the moment, he was afraid he may cry a little and he didn't want to do that in front of Xander. "Fuck me, master." Spike groaned as he shifted his hips back and forth until he felt Xander's cock nudge his prostate. He saw stars behind his eyelids and did it again. This was so much more than he had ever gotten, his partners or customers had only been concerned with getting their end away. Now, Xander was the most generous lover he'd had since Angelus.
Xander couldn't say no to that plea, he thrust his hips up just as Spike started to bounce and fucked his new lover. And lover he was, Xander wanted more than just a fuck-buddy relationship. Spike was his now, and he'd fix him however he needed to and keep the vampire for himself and protect him, that was a promise Xander would never break.
The reason Spike had usually been gagged there at the place he'd worked was because he was very vocal, and he showed that now. Not that Xander was complaining about the litanies of 'fuck me hard' and 'claim me' and 'gonna make me cum.' All of it Xander found sexy, knowing he was affecting Spike like this.
The vampire lost all capabilities of stringing words together to form a sentence when Xander's hand descended on his cock. As Xander rubbed him in a tight fist, his hips weren't sure if they wanted to bounce up and down on the cock in his ass or forward into the fist holding his cock.
Xander pulled Spike down toward the end, bringing his neck within reach, and growled softly into the blonde's ear, "you're mine now Spike, mine for always. I claim you away from those who abused you and misused you. I cleanse you of their touch, their smell, their seed, a clean slate from now on as if it never happened. Forever mine," and just as soon as Xander felt Spike coming he buried his blunt teeth into Spike's neck, sending a jolt to the vampire's cock and ass, and followed him after in climax.
When Spike slowly drifted back to his own body from the high caused by such a powerful orgasm, he realized Xander's teeth were still in his shoulder. He shifted a bit, feeling the aches in both his shoulder and ass, and enjoying every tingle of pain. As Xander too returned to himself, he felt the boy release his shoulder and start licking it. He mmmed softly at the sensation and closed his eyes feeling warm for once.
He'd given up the last pieces of himself to be shattered forever, his love, trust, freewill, and heart, he could only hope and trust Xander knew how to put it all back together again.