A little Halice fluff and smut. Gotta love it!

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Nothing at all.

Not so Innocent

Hatter and Alice had been living together for two months now, and he'd loved every minute of it. Until today. He'd been tortured before. However, this was the time that was going to do him in. The woman he loved was driving him slowly mad.

It had started as soon as she got out of bed this morning. She politely declined his offer to join her in the shower with a sweet smile, as he'd followed her in the bathroom, unable to sleep in an empty bed anymore. He brushed his teeth and started to get ready to shave, and had managed to lather his face when he stole a glance over to the shower stall. The razor stopped half-way up. He wondered why these silly Oysters thought clear glass worked well for a shower door.

Alice was slowly running a lathered bath poof over herself, stretching and scrubbing the body he loved so much. His voice was a bit high pitched as he spoke, "You sure you don't need any help?"

"Positive," she called back. He couldn't be certain, but he thought she was spending extra time on his favourite bits. He felt the shaving cream drop on his arm. He decided he didn't need to shave. Wasn't scruffy trendy at the moment? He knew he couldn't stay in there and not touch her. He rinsed off his face and hurried out of the room to get dressed.

She eventually emerged from the bathroom wearing only a strapless bra and another pair in what seemed an endless supply of impossibly tiny knickers. She had put her hair up and smelled lovely, like tea and spiced sweetness and the love that constantly poured off her when she looked at him. She silently walked over to him and handed him a tube of something. He saw it was sun screen and she had turned away from him. "Please?" was all she asked, and he could never deny his girl what she wanted. He slowly rubbed the cream into her soft skin of her shoulders and back. He was about to remove the bra when she spun and snatched the tube away with a smile. "Thanks!" She practically skipped away from him.

It took effort to straighten up after that little move of hers. Hell, it took effort to get dressed with all the blood leaving his brain and heading south. It made zipping up his pants very dangerous. He finally was ready to go out for the day. The plan was to head out and enjoy the sunshine in the park, pack a lunch, just have fun and walk around the college campus that bordered the park. He'd whole-heartedly agreed to the idea. After all, as much of a city man as he was, a little greenery and sun did great things for him, especially in high spring-time. It was rather warm that day, so he was looking forward to going out without a jacket or coat.

He made for the door to wait for her, when he heard the patter of shoes coming down the hall and saw her. Hatter stared, unable to stop looking at his Alice. They had a problem. Oh Wonderland above and below, did they have a problem. He'd stopped just as he was reaching for the doorknob, frozen in place as he looked at the Oyster that had stolen his heart.

He could not possibly let his girl out the door. She would be mauled in seconds. Like being covered in raw meat and shouting for the Jabberwokies to come eat her, she'd be gone. No. No way in hell could she go out now.

She was wearing the most evil of all clothing: the sundress.

Oh, it looked innocent, what with its floral pattern and all. But he knew better. It hugged her in all the right spots. It was practically transparent when lit from the back. The neckline looked demure but he was at the height that allowed him to see straight down. It had a wicked strap that refused to stay on her shoulder, causing her to adjust it ever so often. Her legs were bare and she wore tiny girly sandals that made her delicate feet and ankles look even more delectable.

Good god, she was even wearing a hat. A white straw hat with a wide brim to keep the sun out of her eyes, with a deep green ribbon tied in a sweet little bow in the back. A bit of blush dusted her cheeks, a sip of wine painted on her lips, and the faintest bit of green eyeshadow made her blue eyes luminous and deep. He never would have pegged her for the type to look so girly, but from the shy look she was giving him, she'd dressed like this just for him. She looked positively edible and any sane man would think the same.

Well, there was no way he was letting her out looking like that.

She smiled up at him, sweet and eager to go have fun. "Ready to go?"

God help me, I cannot deny this woman anything. "Absolutely." There went that plan. "What's in the bag?" He motioned to the large one on her arm.

"The essentials." She pulled out the sun screen, which she opened and dabbed on his nose. She showed him various snacks, a thermos, and a small fan. She then produced a pair of sunglasses for herself and placed a pair on him. She took his hand and led him to the door.

Alice was so excited when they got to the park and found out that they were having an early edition of something called the X-Games. And Hatter had to admit, the tricks that could be done on a board with wheels were quite impressive. And from the way Alice was eyeing those blokes on the bikes, he would have to learn how to ride one of those contraptions very soon.

But he had other things to worry about right then. She wouldn't even let him fix the rouge strap of her dress. She'd always brush his hand away. She had removed her shoes and hiked her dress up above her knees as they sat on the grass, thus turning all exposed skin a delicious golden colour in the sun. She was quite distracting. To top it all off, she had the nerve to hold his hand with no ulterior motives and smile at him; no flirting, teasing, or anything remotely sensual. And it was the single hottest thing he'd ever seen. She was driving him crazy. She had no idea, did she?

Alice knew exactly what she was doing. Oh, she did want to see the X-Games and was a long time fan, but more than seeing a show she wanted to know Hatter's breaking point. How long would it take him to give up and rush them home, or pull her away somewhere quiet and ease the ache she knew she was making him feel? She had planned everything from teasing him in the shower, to the sun screen (which she made him reapply regularly to his lip-biting torment), to the outfit (she knew the strap wouldn't stay up), to the choice of event, the attempt at a tan, the (not-so) innocent touches. He was squirming and she was enjoying it. "Isn't this great?" she asked.

"Oh yes, fantastic. Having a good time?" he asked, his voice a bit tight.

"The best. Thank you." She kissed him on the cheek, making sure to brace herself on his thigh to get the proper leverage. She felt him steel himself and had to turn to hide her smile. As she pulled back her hand, she made a point to lightly brush his crotch. She heard him groan under his breath. Things were going quite well.

Alice smiled at him with all the innocence she could muster. "Will you get me something cold? Please? You know what I like." She finally laughed out loud as he sulked away, muttering something about needing something cold somewhere private to get through the day.

The woman sitting on a blanket next to her gave her a nudge. "That yours?" she nodded at Hatter.

"Yes, he is." They both watched him walk toward the concessions as Alice replaced her shoes.

"You're very lucky," the woman said with a sigh.

Alice nodded, never taking her eyes away from her beloved. "Believe me, I know."

"Well done with all this, by the way."

Alice gave a nervous smile. "You think? I'm not sure I'll hold it together much longer. Thank god he doesn't know what he does to me, or I'd never make it."

"Oh, keep it up. He'll break soon." They saw him coming back. The woman smiled at her, "Good luck!"

She smiled back at the stranger and positively beamed at Hatter as he handed her a peach ice cream cone. "Ooo! Ice cream!" She licked slowly, making sure to savour each little bit with long licks of her tongue. "Mmmmm. This is perfect." She watched him fidget and try to avoid looking at her out of the corner of his eye. "Aww, would you look at that! I dripped right down my dress." She took a finger and cleaned up the trail. She slowly licked it away.

Hatter felt the last bit of control he had snap. "Right, we're leaving, right now." He grabbed her up in his arms and over his shoulder and dragged her away, seeming to not hear her 'surprised' gasp. She just enough time to grab her bag and look back see her neighbour giving her a thumbs up .

They made it back to the apartment in record time, her laughter all that stopped someone from calling the police after the way he was running. After a quick scramble for the keys, the door was flung open. It was flung shut almost as fast. Alice found herself between it and a very determined Hatter. "Do you have any idea what you've been doing to me all day?" he growled.

She smirked at him. "I have a pretty good one."

He stared and then shook his head is disbelief and pride. "You little minx."

"What are you going to do about it?"

He answered by running a hand up her leg. He roughly ripped her panties away.

"You keep doing that, I'm not going to have any underwear left."

His gaze was burning as he grinned wickedly. "That's the general idea."