The Words Not Meant To Be Spoken
Disclaimer: Why on Azarath would I be writing a story here if I owned teen Titans?
The light could barely be noticed in my room. The dark curtains were drawn and that is the way it always is. I just want some meditation but Beast Boy is always annoying me.
There goes that knock again. He knocked on the door. Softly, though, instead of his usual banging.
"Raven? Can I come in?" Beast Boy said awkwardly.
That caught me off guard. I could feel waves of nervousness from the other side of the door. I was in a good mood so I responded dryly, "Yes."
Beast Boy opened the door quietly and quickly. He walked to a corner and started to inspect my bookshelf. He picked up an Edgar Allen Poe book, only to realize that it was above his reading level and put it back on the shelf.
"What do you want?" I said. I tried to make my voice seem curious and warm but it was a monotone as always.
A look of shock appeared on his face. I instantly regretted it.
"I came in here because I needed to ask you something…" He began.
"And that something is…" I replied. I wasn't exactly in the mood for his games.
"I've been having strange dreams. About my parents, I mean." He empathized. "I don't know what to do."
Raven peeked into his thoughts and saw his feelings. No, he can't be feeling this! I'm the depressed one…. He's scared and alone. His emotions mirror my own. He came to me because he thought I would be the only one who would understand, and he was willing to try despite the fact that I could rip his head off any moment. Wow…
"Raven, please don't look into my thoughts," He said dryly, "some things are painful to feel."
Then Raven did something that shocked them both. She ran to his place in the corner and wrapped her arms around him. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be mean to you. I had no idea…"
"It's all right Rae. I… I love you." He whispered. If he wasn't whispering into her ear, then she wouldn't have heard him.
It can't be those words. They can't be true. Even if it is true, then he doesn't know what love really is…
"No." I said. I could hear his heart race in his chest. "No, you don't." I walked from the room, leaving a distraught Beast Boy in the corner.
It killed me to do it but it was for his own good. I wasn't meant to love or to be loved. It wouldn't be right with me. It wasn't natural. It was the right thing to do…
I went into my mirror and waited until night to fall to make my move.
The night sky was black and dark as always. There is no light to guide me. I am forever lost to the dark. That is why I cannot be with Beast Boy. There is only light and compassion in his soul. The light in him would be replaced by my ever-so-creepy darkness. I couldn't stand for that to be.
I crept into his room to see his sleeping figure on the bottom bunk. His snoring made me aware that he was in a deep sleep. I walked over to him and sat down.
The room was a mess. I had to shove a stack of comics away to have a seat.
What is it that I felt for the green boy? With pools of green eyes so deep, I swear I am lost in a forest. His mop of dark green hair fell over his face. His face used to be one of pure innocence and childlike delight but he had been through much. His face shows signs of maturity and also of hurt and pain.
"I love you." I whispered. I blinked away the tears in my eyes as I turned to leave.
"Please don't." A voice behind me said. "Don't leave me here alone after what you just said. Why did you say it?"
"Because it's true." I replied.
With that, he ran up to me and kissed me deeply. The dark feeling of hopelessness and despair seemed to fade from my entire being. Beast Boy is replacing the dark in my with light.
I love you, the words I was never meant to say were the words that saved me. Oh, the irony. I'll remember to think about this later but right now, I am occupied. Just the feeling of Beast Boy's lips on mine is enough to erase all dark thoughts from my mind.