A/n: A VERY random (and probably not very original) idea that I discussed with some friends the other day. I eventually ended up writing it down then typing it, I hope you enjoy!!!!
I'm sorry that the characters are a tiny bit OOC, and that I didn't go into detail about Fiyero's reaction to reading wicked, but I thought that it would just be the same stuff all over again, so I didn't
Disclaimer: I don't own Wicked (NO! More innuendos! Save meeee!)
Fiyero had never been one for reading. In fact, he had never voluntarily picked up a book in his life unless it had pictures in it. Elphaba, on the other hand, had been reading all her life, and there was barely a book she hadn't read. Therefore she was very surprised when she found Fiyero sitting in the back corner of the library one day, and was even more surprised to find that he was reading a book.
It wasn't just a flimsy picture book either. No, this was a over-400-page-that-nobody-in-Shiz-would-read-except-for-Elphaba book, it was that serious. "Fiyero, what are you doing?" she asked cautiously, in case he had truly gone mad.
"Reading a book," he answered, not even looking up.
"Uh, why would you, of all people be reading a book?"
"Honestly, I couldn't figure out why you liked this reading thing so much, so I decided to try it out! I asked around and found out about this place called a Library where books are, so I headed this way. Looking around a bit, I found a book with a cool cover and started to read it. It's actually a lot of fun!"
Elphaba was in such a state of shock from Fiyero's confession of liking reading, that the only think she could think to say was, "What is the book called?"
He flipped the book so that the cover was showing. "Wicked: the life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West," he read, "and get this; all of the characters have our names! Including the main character who is a green girl called Elphaba!"
"That's impossible though! Unless....unless someone is stalking us and writing a book about it!" she quickly glanced over her shoulder, as if expecting Boq to be standing there taking notes on what they were saying.
"I don't think so. I'm in the second chapter, Gillikin, and so far my character is extremely boring, I get no lines at all and am covered with these really weird diamond designs! I hope that I'm mentioned in the third chapter...." he sighed and went back to reading. Elphaba was slightly freaked out by this, as it was probably the only book she hadn't read and it was about her life. Why was that even interesting? So she snatched the book right out of his hands.
"Hey I wasn't finished with that!" he whined and reached out to take it back, but she held it out of his reach.
"I'll give it back as soon as I'm finished, I promise and I'll read quickly! Besides, I should read it first because it's about me." He made a show of considering it, mostly by pouting and huffing, but eventually nodded. Besides, he enjoyed watching Elphie read.
True to her word, Elphaba read quicker than normally (which was about ten times faster than a normal human) and Fiyero got his entertainment. Towards the beginning of her reading, she was quiet, but her eyebrows were slowly creeping up her forehead and she gave Fiyero a look that said were-you-really-reading-this? About fifteen minutes into reading however, she screeched, "I am not allergic to water!" and it got better from there
When, he assumed, she was reading the second chapter, she muttered comments like, "The hat was black, not orange," and, "I'm the one that's good at sorcery, not Galinda!" All of which were immensely amusing. Later on still, she yelped in surprise, "You're married?" causing him to stutter, tripping over his words in the attempt to deny it.
After a hour, she came across something that made her eyes widen about three times their original size. She looked up at Fiyero, then back down at the book, then up at Fiyero again and began quickly flipping pages, skipping what looked like an entire chapter. Shortly after this, she actually glared at the book with so much hatred that he was surprised a hole wasn't burned right through it, "I...am....not....a.....Nun!" she snarled.
Grumbling to herself, she kept reading, Fiyero occasionally hearing her say things like "Liir", "Jeweled Shoes", "Tornado", and, for reasons unknown to him, "Time Dragon". She was getting way too into the story by now, and her expression became based on what she was reading. It would flash from sympathetic to outrage to sadness in the blink of an eye, and was even better to watch than the muttering.
Finally, after two solid hour of reading, she closed the book with a snap and said, "What a depressing ending! I hope that is not to be my life, because if it is, I'll just go jump into the Suicide Canal right now."
"Was I mentioned in the third chapter, like I hoped?" Fiyero asked, wanting some fame.
"You have no idea..."
"OK then, what did you say about being a Nun?" he smiled at the thought of Elphaba in a habit.
"Don't......EVER.......mention........that!" she snarled. Fearing his possibly Elphaba-related death, he changed the topic, suggesting that they go to find Galinda and tell her about the book.
When they found Galinda, Elphaba thrust Wicked into her hands with just the words, "read it," then walked away. Galinda stared after Elphaba, very confusified, and turned to Fiyero, who nodded at the book, indicating for her to start reading. She sighed and sat down with a pout to read.
It turned out that Galinda was even better than Elphaba to watch while reading. She constantly was gasping, making comments about the characters, squealing, giggling, and, once or twice, actually jumping up and down in excitement.
Towards the middle, around the part where Elphaba had skipped an entire chapter, Galinda actually burst into tears saying, "B-but, I though y-you were m-mine Fifi!" and he spent ten minutes reminding her that it was just a book, nothing else (he hoped).
Of course, Galinda reading it took several days, as she she was a much slower reader than Elphaba, needed a dictionary to figure out half the book, and had a busier social life. When she finished, she gave it to Fiyero who was mentally scared for life by it. When Elphaba found that he finished, she called an "official" meeting in her and Galinda's room to discuss what to do.
I will not go into the details of this discussion but you can imagine that it involved plenty of false accusations, complaints, excuses, tears, shouting matches, several jokes about Nuns, and a few threats from Elphaba to a certain Winkie Prince to shut up or she would turn him into a toad. Just as everyone was about to lose it, Fiyero came up with a brilliant plan; they could go and make the author rewrite the story! Everyone agreed and Elphaba somehow teleported them all over the rainbow and before you could say "Hot air balloon" they were standing in front of Gregory Maguire's house.
Thanks for reading!!!! I'm gonna need some ideas because I have NO CLUE how to continue this, so please review and tell me your ideas!