So sorry for the wait…our computer went a bit spaz and then crashed so I couldn't upload.
Thanks to all that reviewed, especially Jack and Sapphire!
I'm back with a story that is hopefully funnier, stranger and quite frankly amazinger than the last one!
All…uuh..constructive(?) critisim(?) has been taken into account, I hope(?)
Deal with it.
Or you can go die in a hole like Will Smith.
Basically, in this book there was a picture of a man in a hole, who looked like Will Smith. And my mate always says 'Go Die in a Hole', so we now have a strange insult thingy.
If you haven't read And You Thought You Were Different, I suggest you do because this will probably make no sense to you otherwise!
Enjoy my readers!
*** In the coffee house ***
Emma: …..so I told him that if he only wanted me for sex he'd never see me again.
Ismay: so did he only want you for sex?
Emma: yes. Which is why you haven't seen him for three years.
Hatsyetta: so, where's Taylor?
Jacob: where have you been? Lucy's moving out today.
Karis: god, how is he?
Jacob: bad. His wife's a lesbian and they've known each other for ages!
Hatsyetta: runs in the family, doesn't it?
Hatsyetta: remember? Ross…Carol...Susan…Ben…
Emma: but Ross is my dad. I think…….I hope……oh my god my mum's a slut!
Karis: yes he is, but you're not a man. Otherwise you'd be gay yourself.
Ismay: all I can say is, you guys are lucky you don't have my family. My mum is a neat-freak, my dad's obsessed with porn, my brother married a lezzie and I have a gay granddad!
Karis: look, mum won't let any of us even touch meat!
Hatsyetta: too bad the pizza with pepperoni wasn't veggie!
Jacob: mum's gonna freak when she finds out.
Hatsyetta (menacingly): if you tell her I will shove your face up your ass!
Emma: Hatsyetta, Jane's gonna announce your name next. You better get up. Any idea what you're gonna sing?
Hatsyetta: I'll think of something.
Karis: good luck!
Jane: give it up for Hatsyetta Hannigan!
Hatsyetta: thank you. This is a song my mum used to sing every time our cat did a poop.
'Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat, what are they…..
* The window smashes and a girl runs through*
Girl: Mike! Monica! Rachel! Phoebe! Oh pheebs! *hugs Hatsyetta*
Hatsyetta: no, not pheebs, Hatsyetta
Emma: and Rachel's daughter?
Ismay: Monica's daughter?
Jacob: Mike's son?
*Taylor walks in and the girl looks very confused*
Taylor: hey guys.
Taylor: no, Chandler's depressed son.
Girl: why are you depressed? Oh, right.
Taylor: hey, I know you! I think. Are you the girl who snogged me in fifth grade?
Girl: can anyone take me to see phoebe, mike, Monica, Rachel, Ross, chandler, Joey or even Mr Heckles? Wait, not Mr Heckles, he's dead. the others?
Karis: look, I'll take you up to see my mum if you really want.
Girl: oh, could you?
Hatsyetta: yeah, sure. Ismay'll pay.
Ismay: uh, no! You owe me $45 already!
Karis: yea, but she'll pay you back once she gets her Record Deal.
Ismay: which will be never.
Hatsyetta: do you want me to kill you?
Ismay: I'm good.
* In the cab*
Emma: so…why dya wanna see mum and dad so much?
Girl: well….we've known each other since you were born.
Karis: that's impossible! You're younger that us.
Taylor: waaaaaaay younger.
Girl: look, you're parents'll….wait! were here? They still live here?
Ismay: mum, dad and Joey do. Ross and Rachel live across the street and Mike and Phoebe live three blocks away.
Girl: they never move, do they?
Emma: no, let's go.
*they walk up the stairs and knock on Monica's door*
Monica (opening the door): yes? *see's the girl* OMG! Guys, it's Alex!
Chandler: look, you said the pizza girl was Alex *see's Alex* oh.
Joey: LEXY! *runs into her and gets a nose bleed* oh. Forgot.
Alex: it's fine. I have better self-control.
Emma: MUM! There's someone who wants to see you.
Rachel: look, if it's that girl selling cookies…*see's Alex* Oh My God.
Alex: look, I came to ask a favour.
Monica: sit down, I'll get everyone here and we'll talk.
Alex: ok. Wait…you changed the cushions.
Chandler: well, we had to because she almost killed Joey literally minutes after you left.
Monica: because of him you're first word was fuck and you're first sentence was 'what the fuck I want a strippler'.
Ismay: a strippler?
Chandler: I reckon you were trying to say 'What the Fuck I want a stripper.'
Taylor: boy. Better then my first words!
Hatsyetta: what were you're first words?
Taylor: mommy. And sentence 'mommy dada did poopie'
Emma: that's still pretty good!
Alex: look, I came to ask you something, not hear what you're first words where.
* 2 minutes later the gang and kids are all crowded round the table*
Phoebe: so, what was it you wanted?
Alex: well…I was wondering if I could stay here, Monica. I kinda have no-where to live at the moment.
Alex: well….me and my boyfriend… well…
Joey: had sex, yea.
Alex: I thought I was the mind reader! Well…he was like me. Like, like me.
Ross: as in, a…
Alex: just the v one. But, yea. And... well…*starts 'crying' as she can't cry*
Rachel: honey, don't cry! Tell us.
Emma: it can't be that bad!
Alex: It's the worse it can get.
Phoebe: worse than being……
Alex: way worse. *still 'crying'*
Monica: well, what is it?
Alex: well…I'm *sniff* I'm…*sniff* I'm pregnant.
Dun dun duuuh!
What's gonna happen?
I already know! HA!
First to review gets a sneak peek, like always.
Tell me if u like it! I'm gonna continue anyways, so HA HA HA!
I'm hoping it's better than Dreams Come True……read it when u have da time. It's bad. Really bad.
Luv u guys!
Chocolate, not Hannigan.