Past Choices And Repercussions.

Summary. . . . . . . . . Reid made a choice once, what happens if that choice comes back to haunt him.

Disclaimer. . . . . . . . Don't belong to me, just having fun playing in this sandbox.

A.N. . . . . . . . . . . Just a short little one shot that deals with what could happen if a choice that Reid made in a past case comes back to haunt him. Slight, blink and you'll miss them, mentions of Sex, Birth, Death. Peanut x

They watched him walk away, unsure that they were doing the right thing by letting him go alone, but respecting his wishes for some time, some space. Baltimore was shrouded with ugly looking grey clouds, creating a mood that was somber, a feeling that was echoed within each team members hearts. As the first drops of rain began to fall, they all started to turn away from the retreating figure of their colleague, their friend and moved slowly into their hotel for the night and the warmth it offered, each of them heading for the bar until there was only one left standing on the pavement.

He looked at his colleagues before returning his gaze back to his brother, the tall, slim frame of the Kid looking so small and hunched even from this distance, something he knew his brother only did when he was trying to escape from all the madness and pain and death that surrounded him, something he only did when he knew the only way to forget was to plunge himself into the darkness that only Dilaudid could bring him. He took one last look at the hotel and it's warmth before turning and following his friends fading figure, keeping his distance, but close enough if needed.

He wasn't surprised when his brother eventually disappeared from sight and took a route down one of the numerous alleys that dotted the sidewalks, his own feet quickening their pace as he did so, the need to be closer, to stop what he hoped wouldn't happen, but knew probably would from occurring. He turned into the dark and garbage strewn alley with trepidation, it was probably the worst part of the city, yet it was a place that would guarantee his brother the time he needed. He pulled out his gun, hoping he wouldn't need it, but needing to feel a little bit protected, aiming into the numerous mounds of trashed boxes as rustles and other sounds of movement could be heard. He knew they weren't him though, and continued on with his search, until his eyes finally found what they was looking for.

He found him sat on the floor, his thin body crammed into the angle of a dumpster and a wall, ignorant of the streams of fetid water that trailed beneath him, seeping slowly through his black jeans. His long legs were pulled up close to his chest, his slender arms wrapped around them, his head bowed down to rest upon his knees, his hair plastered to his skull from the rain that now fell more steadily. He wanted to go up to him, wanted to grab him and tell him that everything was going to be alright, that everything was going to be okay, but his eyes caught sight of the folded back cloth of his shirt sleeve, and the belt that was wrapped tightly around his upper arm.

"I couldn't do it." A soft voice spoke out as he finally moved to go forward. "I couldn't do it. I so wanted to, still desperately need to, but I can't do it."

He crouched down as his brother's head finally moved, nearly falling onto his ass as his own eyes met liquid filled brown ones, and witnessed the grief that radiated from them. "Reid, it wasn't your fault." The disgust filled laugh that came from the Kids throat tore at his own heart. He tried again to get through "Reid, it wasn't your fault."

"How can you say that?"

"Because it wasn't. The fault rest squarely with the Un-sub Reid, not you."

"The Un-sub I saved. The Un-sub who came to me and begged me to help him because he knew what he was to become. The Un-sub who tried to end it before he descended so far he killed, but who I wouldn't allow to die."


"No Morgan! I saved him. I held his blood inside him until help arrived. I wouldn't allow him to die." He paused gulping down breaths between sobs. "Gideon was wrong."

"About what?"

"He said I would catch him if he ever killed. He was wrong. I couldn't even do that. I tried to save him but in the end it didn't mean anything, he died anyway. I should have just let him die in that motel room."

"You don't mean that."

"Don't I? Eight women are dead because of me. Because of me Morgan! I don't deserve to do this job anymore. I don't deserve to live this life anymore."

"Kid, you do deserve this life, and you were born to do this job, you're one of the best."

"Best!? Best!? I allowed a future serial killer and rapist to live Morgan, and you think I'm one of the best at this?"

"You said it yourself Reid, future. None of us can see into the future, none of us could have predicted that this would happen, Nathan could have chosen a different path, could have chosen to do good in this world. He, didn't but that's not your fault Reid. It's his and his alone."

"I can still see there faces, every time I close my eyes they're there. I didn't want to see them anymore. I just wanted to escape from them."

"I know, but using again isn't the right answer, the drugs would just cover them up, they'd still be there when you came down again. This is what you have to do. Talk about it, to me, to the others. We're all here for you Kid, you know that don't you?" He reached out as Reid slowly nodded. "Come on, lets get your drowned ass back." He joked as he easily lifted the slighter man to his feet. "It will be okay Reid." He added as he took the vial and syringe from his friend and steered them back out of the alley. "I promise."

A.N. . . . . . . . . . . . As always thanks for reading and I hope that you enjoyed. Peanut x