I just felt like it. Don't ask. XD! We need more humor stories by meh. X3!


Panty Raids & Kissy Kisses
Rated: +18 - language; heavy mentions of sex
Summary: a chatroom story that involves online romance, car sex, stalking & Jeff's edible panties. XD! Written on impulse.
Genre: Humor/General


SexOnARainbow signed on

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR signed on

SxEAngelFace signed on

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: SxEAngelFace? You must be joking...

SxEAngelFace: 'Cause I'm such an innocent little angel. X3!

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: ...you fucked my English teacher.

SxEAngelFace: he raped me.

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: ...the moans said it all.

SxEAngelFace: ha, he wants me.

SexOnARainbow: Great, my brother & my best friend are internet-sexing in front of me.

SxEAngelFace: ...Jeff?

SexOnARainbow: now, that I'm finally out of the house, I can tell you, Matty. I fucked at least thirty guys every date & I've been doing this since I was 12. The babysitter that you employed was awesome. I'm currently wearing edible panties. Love you.

SxEAngelFace: FREEDOM! XD!

SexOnARainbow: Matt?

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: ...

SexOnARainbow: Matt?

IGOTAFUCKING CAR: Imma kill you! Imma find you & destroy you & kill you & kill you & kill you & DID I MENTION THAT I WAS GONNA FIND YOU & DESTROY YOU & KILL YOU?!

SexOnARainbow: ...did you even read my username? I've had it since I was five.

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: ...

SxEAngelFace: he reads my username & he doesn't read yours. Ha, he wants me!

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: Imma kill him too! YOU'RE BOTH GONNA DIE! You're both gonna be destroyed! BOTH OF YOU!

SexOnARainbow: ...well, I'm out of the state, so I'm happy!

SxEAngelFace: speak for yourself, selfish, selfish boy.

SexOnARainbow: by the way, Matty, Adam is awesome in bed.

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: ...YOU TOUCHED MY BEST FRIEND?! HOLY SHIT! YOU ARE GROUNDED! Wait-you-I-

SexOnARainbow: I have been waiting SO many years to say that!

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: ...Imma...Imma...

SxEAngelFace: drive him over with your new fucking car! What's a 'fucking car' by the way?

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: how did he pass high school?!

SxEAngelFace: I wore Jeff's thongs.

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: I hate you so much.

SxEAngelFace: I love you too, doll face.

SexOnARainbow: Aww! ChipMUNK fluff!

SxEAngelFace: the 'fucking car' makes more sense than Jeff.

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: I'm surrounded by idiots.

SexOnARainbow: except me! I'm the only one that's in college!

SxEAngelFace: you're a nerd for God's sake!

SexOnARainbow: a sexy nerd.

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: Jeffro, when I visit you, I swear you won't live until your 18th birthday.

SxEAngelFace: he already turned 18.

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: ...not if I say so.

SxEAngelFace: that's the stupidest thing I heard!

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: I know where you live.

SxEAngelFace: I mean...stupidly right. RIGHT. It's right.

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: nice save!

SexOnARainbow: So, Matty, tell me about this car of yours.

SxEAngelFace: me and Matt are going to use it to go around people's houses and panty-raid them & then we fuck in it. Is that what a 'fucking car' is?

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: ...Punkers, you're glad you have your looks.

SxEAngelFace: why?

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: may he be happy that he's not sitting right next to me or he'd be long dead by now.

SxEAngelFace: ...

SxEAngelFace: why?

SexOnARainbow: I'll tell you later.

SxEAngelFace: yay! Oh, I need to tell you something! I got a kissy kiss from Marky Mark!

SexOnARainbow: ...that's not shocking.

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: it is. They didn't have sex yet.

SxEAngelFace: haha, Mr. Hardy Har har.

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: ... you want me.

SxEAngelFace: that's my line!

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: I can steal stuff from you!

SxEAngelFace: ...I swear he's going to a panty raid in my house. There's a mysterious guy who's been stealing my underwear. Any thoughts?

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: ...

SexOnARainbow: Matty, give Phil his underwear back.

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: why would I have his underwear for?

SxEAngelFace: 'cause it's hot.

SexOnARainbow: *giggles*

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: I can still hear that girly giggle from here.

SexOnARainbow: you know you're daydreaming of me.

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: ...why is everyone I know a conceited bitch?

ILoveMyAbs signed on

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: speaking of conceited bitches...

ILoveMyAbs: shut up. You know you want me.

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: okay, why do I want like fifteen people?!

SexOnARainbow: *gaspgasp* DAMMIT! He calls me a slut when he's a playa.

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: ... you are a slut. I'm not a playa. Hell, the only person I ever made love to is the food in my mouth.

SxEAngelFace: wait, you're a virgin?

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: it's not funny.

ILoveMyAbs: I love you guys's conversations! They always make me laugh! XD!

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: now, he's gonna XD everything we say.

ILoveMyAbs: XD!

SxEAngelFace: Matty, if you're a virgin, I'd love to teach you a few moves...

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: bitch.

SxEAngelFace: sexy bitch.

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: you make me want to befriend some emo kids! I swear! Everyone loves themselves a little too much!

SxEAngelFace: like you don't. Remember last night?

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: ...

ILoveMyAbs: XD!

SexOnRainbow: oohh...what happened last night?!

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR signed off

SxEAngelFace signed off

SexOnARainbow: DAMMIT!

SexOnARainbow signed off

ILoveMyAbs: hello? Anyone here?

ILoveMyAbs signed off

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR signed on

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: what? My internet just cut me off.

SxEAngelFace signed on

SxEAngelFace: same story!

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: jeezum. You think Jeff would be dying to know what happened.

SxEAngelFace: Imma meet you in a minute for our ice cream run.

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: I'll pick you up in my car.

SxEAngelFace: do we really have to fuck? 'Cause I'm tired! I mean, Adam really hit me at the wrong angle.

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: O.O. Me & Adam need to have a serious talk later on. And no, you don't need to fuck in a fucking car.

SxEAngelFace: then why is it called a fucking car?

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: I'll tell you later.

SxEAngelFace: alright!

SxEAngelFace signed off

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR signed off

Y2J/Metallicafan&IronMaidenfan&KISSlove signed on

Y2J/Metallicafan&IronMaidenfan&KISSlove: & they wonder why I never go on chatrooms. There's no one here!


I had a ton of fun writing this. X3!

X Sam.