"You said what!" Sun Boy almost shouted at the White Witch. She had tried to get him to come to a room to talk about it in private but he was too anxious to hear the news and had insisted on hearing it right then and there in front of witnesses.
"You are correct in that your cursed Sun Boy." The White Witch said while struggling not to giggle.
"I have to admit it is such a simple curse but so hard to break as next to impossible to break it," Mysa admitted to him in the Legion mess hall.
For the past several weeks Dirk Morgan was having a phenomenal streak of bad luck where it concerned women. He struck out with each and every woman he hit on. Almost as soon as the woman showed an interest she instantly became uninterested in him and would immediately leave. Even women, who were well known for being easy turned their noses up at him and walked off. At first he suspected nothing but as it went on from a couple of days into several weeks he started to wonder about it and for once used his mind to eliminate all of the probabilities, it came down to magic and he had asked Mysa to use her mystic skills to check it out for him.
"I've never seen anything like it," Mysa said.
"Just what are the details of this curse?" Sun Boy demanded to know.
"You will never get laid again in your lifetime..."
Saturn Girl, Lightening Lad, Supergirl, Brainiac 5, Dawnstar, Wildfire, Shrinking Violet, Phantom Girl and Timber Wolf all either choked on their food or breakfast beverages or instantly struggling to stifle their laughs.
"You will strike out with every female you try to hit on," Mysa said trying to control her giggles, "The curse will repeal every female away from you, who finds you sexually attractive or you find her attractive and try to get her."
"Whoever put this curse on you was very ingenious on what they decided would be the curse breaker." Mysa sighed, getting serious for the moment.
"What! What is it!" Dirk said clasping the White Witch by the shoulders. Blok was suddenly beside her, giving Sun Boy a warning glance. "What does it take to break this curse? Please tell me Mysa so I can break it."
"It's so ingenious, it's almost out right evil..."
"Mysa!" Dirk pleaded.
The White Witch blushed just before she gathered up her courage to say it.
"You have to get Wildfire laid."
"What!" said Dirk, Dawnstar and Wildfire at the same time. Everyone else in the mess hall had their mouths hanging open in shock at the news.
Dawnstar had a full face blush as she looked at Wildfire, if Wildfire was still a flesh and blood human, he too would have been blushing, big time.
"It's the curse breaker," White Witch continued on. "Wildfire has to not just get laid but he has to be... be... satisfied from it."
Supergirl was patting Brainiac 5's back as he was laughing so hard he was choking. Saturn Girl and Lightening Lad took off so as not to keep laughing at Dirk and now Dawnstar and Wildfire.
"I don't know who casted it but I do know that whoever did it is dead now so isn't likely we can get them to willingly lift it off of you."
"No!" Sun Boy cried out mortified at this bit of news.
"Well technically you can still get... amen... laid if your willing to change your preferences," Mysa said even softer than usual for her.
"Hey! Sun Boy!" Polar Boy called out as he walked into the mess hall right up to Sun Boy. "This morning sure looks great today."
Dirk took a long look at Brek's smiling face, squeaked in horror and ran from the room.
Six months later...
Almost the entire Legion was sitting in the mess hall, eating dinner that evening. When Sun Boy stepped into the room. His eyes were wide and wild looking from all of his pent up frustrations. The past several weeks Dirk had become such an aggressive fighter that the smarter super-villains were starting to avoid him in combat. All of the women took one look at his wild, glazed over eyes, his body shaking barely in control and they ran from the room. Blok grabbed Mysa and fled the room with her hanging over his shoulder.
Dirk for the first time started to look over the Legion men.
"Better safe then sorry! Run!" Brainiac 5 shouted. The Legion men ran out of the mess hall except for Element Lad, Invisible Kid and Chemical King, who still sat there calmly eating their dinners. Dirk stood there with a dazed look on his face as he seriously looked at them.
Suddenly the wall exploded behind him. Sun Boy turned around and saw the Fatal Five standing there.
"Thank You!" Sun Boy shouted in gratitude as he immediately went to take them on.
I don't own a single character in this story, DC Comics own them all. I only do this for fun. I don't make anything off of this! Darn!
Kudo's to you if you recognize the Night Court episode that inspired this little story.