1. Somebody who watches for sexual pleasure: somebody who gains pleasure from watching, especially secretly, other people's bodies or the sexual acts in which they participate
Gaz had a guilty pleasure.
A normal person always has at the very least one, and though Gaz was far from normal she had this. She knew that it was the closest that she would ever come to the act itself. The closest that she'd come to touching another's flesh that intimately.
She knew without a doubt that she could ever do that with anyone, never feel their warm fluids on her hands, never look at anyone like that. Never be brave enough to do that to anyone.
Gaz knew that she was a coward, she knew that it was her own fault that it would never happen, no one would come to her and ask for her to do it to them. But it was just something she didn't think she could do. She knew that lots of people did it carelessly, didn't give it a second thought. That some made a job of it; did it for the money! Degraded the act down to something cheap when it should be savored, done slowly with someone you really wanted to do it to!
She had seen it done. She had seen people do the act she longed for. At first it had been by accident and she had run away, but then she revisited the memory and craved another. She had set out on the town at night, trying to fool herself into making herself believe that she really just wanted a walk, even as she checked all the secluded places and looked into windows.
She had seen so many couples or three-somes, or even groups of people, heard so many screams, seen so many bodies slump in the completion of the act of act and had seen so many people dragged away to hide the aftermaths.
She watched any number of people do it, she didn't care about who; men, women, the gender didn't matter, whether men did it with men or if women did it with women, she didn't care.
Then she found him, he had actually been doing it in an alley with a man. After he had completed the act he had left, just left. Leaving the man for anybody who came to see. But she had seen him in the act, he had been so emotional, like he had known this man intimately and it wasn't just a job or a whimsical craving. No, for him it had MEANT something with every shove and every shout every touch was meant to be felt, to give the maximum sensation.
So for the first time, she followed one of her performers in her own personal shows. He didn't go home; no he went to different places and did it again and again. He did it with men and women, of any age, any race, any religion, any shape, and any way he wanted to do it. He was so skilled that either his chosen participants couldn't speak or were so vocal that she almost went deaf from feet away.
And every time he completed the act, he left them where they were and walked away like he had never even acknowledged the fact that they existed. She was amazed at the way he lost all interest in the people he had done this to. It was something personal but he never cared afterward. She began to hate that about him but even as the emotion strengthened she couldn't stop following him, watching him.
She began to want him. To want him so bad as she traced him every night. So she decided that he would be her first. So she began to prepare.
She knew he was strong so she made herself strong, she knew he was fast so she made herself fast, she knew he skilled so she made herself skilled. She trained her body made sure she knew her way around a human body and then one night proclaimed herself ready.
She walked out the door of her house one day with her mind made up, tonight she would do what she has always wanted to do to someone, and she would do it to the best person, who was the best at it.
Yes, tonight, she would do it for the first time.
She would kill.
2. Persistent observer of misery or scandal: a fascinated observer of distressing, sordid, or scandalous events
Hopefully I've hid my intentions well enough with this story so you were forced to go back and get all of the different meanings for the story. And you get a cookie if you can guess who the "Man" is. If you don't get it then you have to look up jthm sooooooo baddddddddd!