Disclaimer: I do not own BTR.
Author's Note: Umm, I posted this about a week ago on my livejournal, and I was dubious about posting it here, but figured I might as well. ADULT CONTENT. SERIOUSLY.
Logan dropped onto his bed. Well, technically the bed belonged to the hotel. The fact that he'd been sleeping in it for the past three weeks didn't make it his. Just like staying at the hotel didn't make it his house. Sure, the improvements to the apartment Gustavo had let them keep certainly made it a nice place to live, but that didn't make it feel like home.
Actually, nothing in Hollywood felt like it was his. Rocque Records had replaced all of his clothes, given him a new cell phone, and forced him to start using hair product. He appreciated all the new things, and what the company was doing for him and his friends, but he couldn't help but feel like he was losing a part of himself. Back home he'd laughed when James tried to get him to use some hair gel, told him to get lost and that he'd never use that junk. Now, it was something he used every day. It was weird how things changed like that.
The one thing he could be grateful for was that his friends hadn't been changed by Hollywood. Kendall, James, and Carlos were just as quirky and fun as they'd always been. They were the only familiar things here. His last connection to Minnesota.
He ran a hand through his hair subconsciously as his thoughts continued to circle around his three best friends. It came away slicked with hair gel. He mentally kicked himself, that was another thing about hair products, you had to leave your hair alone once you used them. With a groan he lifted himself up off the bed and walked the few steps to the bathroom door. He knocked with his clean hand.
"Kendall, are you almost done showering? I need to wash my hands."
The apartment only had three bedrooms, each with two double beds. He and Kendall had called the one with the bathroom attached, James and Carlos had gotten the room that had windows, and Kendall's mom and sister had gotten the last room. James, Carlos, Katie, and Mrs. Knight had to share a bathroom. It was one of the things they complained about most.
Logan knocked on the door again after Kendall didn't answer. He could hear the crash of the water against the shower walls, but still couldn't pick up a response from Kendall.
"Kendall?" He said again, getting a little impatient. He rapped his fist against the wood of the door a third time, then a fourth.
"Ugh, Kendall." The frustration was apparent in his voice. "I'm coming in. Don't get out of the shower." He pushed the door open silently and padded inside.
Logan could hear Kendall singing the first few lines of their song over the sound of the shower. He chucked quietly to himself, imagining Kendall singing into a bar of soap. With his clean hand he turned the tape for cold water on the sink. He stuck his grimy hand under the stream and tried to wash the gel off, rubbing his hands together.
He was about to turn off the tap when a high pitched girlish scream sounded from behind the shower curtain. Suddenly, the shower curtain came crashing down followed by a very wet, very naked Kendall.
Logan could only stare at his friend, sure that he should avert his eyes, but not quiet able to look away. With his body sprawled out in front of him like that, it was impossible for him not to notice the ripple of Kendall's stomach, the definition of his upper thighs, the deep lines formed by his hips bones. Logan's mouth went dry and dropped open slightly. Unconsciously he swept the tip of his tongue across his bottom lip. Neither of them spoke, the only sounds in the suddenly too small room that of the still running shower and tap.
The seconds stretched on like hours, Logan staring at Kendall's naked frame and Kendall staring back at him, his expression unreadable, a mixture of shock and something else that Logan couldn't place.
Finally, Kendall's shock wore off.
"Dude! What are you doing?!" His voice was several octaves high than normal.
The sound of his friends voice knocked him out of his daze, and Logan turned away, forcing his eyes to look anywhere but at Kendall. A deep blush crept up to his cheeks.
"I-I needed to wash my hands," he stuttered out. He put his hand next to his face making a blinder with his fingers.
Kendall scrambled for a towel, as if just realizing that he was naked. He fumbled for one and wrapped it hastily around his waist. Logan peeked at him through his fingers and couldn't help but notice that he had accidentally grabbed one of the smaller towels, and the long, lean line of his thigh that the too-small towel missed.
"Don't you know not to turn on the faucet when someone's in the shower?! The water gets really hot."
Logan pulled his hand away from his face and shook his head. He still refused to meet Kendall's eyes.
"Sorry, I guess I just didn't think about it." He could hear his heart beating loud in his ears. He took a step back, pressing his shoulders against the door. "Sorry," he said again, fumbling for the doorknob behind his back. Finally, he felt the metal under his hand. Finally, he glanced at Kendall, who was staring at him questioningly, Logan just shook his head, flung open the door, and left.
What is wrong with me? He thought angrily. He sat back down on his bed and put his head in his hands. It was impossible for Logan to ignore the pressure that had built in his jeans when he had seen Kendall, and there was just something wrong with the fact that his best friend had given him an erection. His thoughts raced as his racked his brain for some kind of explanation. His mind only flashed back to the image of Kendall sprawled across the shower curtain, his skin glistening. In his mind he could swear that he saw something in Kendall's eyes that was daring him to keep staring, to take in the full, naked glory of his best friend. He shook his head and convinced himself that he was just imagining things.
Anyway, he was straight. Logan Mitchell thought girls were pretty and soft and delicate, and that guys were sweaty and big and something he was definitely one-hundred percent not sexually attracted to. Still, he couldn't ignore that small voice in the back of his head telling him that Kendall wasn't like other guys. He was fun and talented and even smart, though he didn't show it like Logan did. Plus, he made Logan want to be different, to be a better person. Logan thought about how Kendall has pushed him to take a risk with the remodel of their apartment and how good it had felt to take a chance. Kendall didn't make him feel nerdy and inadequate like most of the other guys he knew. Hell, sometimes even Carlos and James made fun of how into school Logan was, but Kendall never did.
He even thought about the way Kendall always went out of his way to touch him. He'd rub Logan's shoulder comfortingly or sling his arm around the back of his chair. Sometimes he'd grab him by the arm and pull him along so that Logan would stop thinking so much and just do something. He'd never thought much about it before, but now those touches were starting to mean something.
He imagined the feel of Kendall rubbing his shoulders, something he sometimes did after they'd had a particularly long studio session. Logan's dick, which had gone half soft, was stiffening again. He tried to adjust himself through his pants, but the friction of the material of his boxers only made him harder. He cursed and shot a glance at the bathroom door. He strained his ears and was sure he could still hear the shower running.
Quickly he calculated in his head that it had probably taken Kendall five minutes to put the shower curtain back up, and from the looks of things he had either not yet shampooed his hair, or he had just finished. He banked on the first one being true, and with a final glance at the door he undid his pants and shimmed out of them.
Logan felt his dick spring to full attention, the release of the pressure of his jeans a welcome treat. He scrambled up his bed and slipped under the covers. His chest was tight with worry that any second Kendall would come out of the bathroom, but he still let his right hand snake down his chest into his boxers.
He stroked himself slowly a few times, letting himself stiffen completely. Then, he went to town, stroking his cock with uncontrolled fervor. He didn't have time to seek out any lotion, but the rough friction of his nearly dry hand only turned him on more. He flicked his thumb against the sensitive spot under the head and felt his hips thrust naturally into his hand. He didn't even try to fool himself into pretending that he was thinking of anyone other than Kendall, imaging only his hand working over his cock like this. He squeezed his eyes closed, the intense pleasure running up and down his spine nearly too much. His mouth hung open, and he could hear himself panting slightly. He increased the pressure of his hand and turned his wrist just so, a few more strokes and he would tumble over the edge.
He was nearly there when he heard the door from the bathroom creak open. A gasp escaped his lips and his eyes flew open. Immediately his hand sprung away from his shaft, as if by instinct, and he willed himself not to come, prayed it wouldn't happen. He turned onto his side, away from the door, trying to ignore the fact that his skin was tingling with arousal.
His thoughts that only moments prior had been filled with images of Kendall touching him, sucking on his cock were now replaced with a Kendall filled with blind rage, calling Logan a queer, a faggot.
"Logan?" He cringed at Kendall's voice. He was still by the bathroom door, which meant that he hadn't moved, which meant that he had seen what Logan was doing.
Logan cleared his throat and swallowed. "Yeah, what's up?" His voice was still scratchy and dry.
Kendall didn't speak for a few moments, and the awkward silence between them stretched on. Finally, "Uh...do you want to shower?"
The panic that had been pooling in his stomach dissipated a little bit. "N-no. I just want to sleep. Turn the light off." His voice shook as he spoke.
He heard Kendall shuffle to the light switch and flick it off. Logan closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath, willing his heart beat to slow down. The tension in his shoulders released slowly, sure that even if Kendall had seen anything he wasn't going to bring it up.
He heard Kendall slip into his own bed. Logan turned over in his bed so that he was no longer facing Kendall.
Logan felt the tension build up again in his shoulders. "Yeah?"
"What were you doing when I came in here?" His stomach dropped.
"Nothing, just lying here, trying to go to sleep, that's all."
It was quiet again, but then, "You were touching yourself." Kendall said it like he was announcing the weather, like it didn't matter to him one way or another.
Logan didn't say anything for a moment, but soon a hot anger was boiling inside his stomach. "Yeah, so what?! Are you going to tell everyone?! It's not like you don't do it too." He turned towards Kendall, searching for his eyes in the darkness.
"No," Kendall's voice was small, like he was ashamed of what he was saying, "I just--." He cut himself off and was quiet for a moment before starting again. "You didn't finish, did you?"
The anger that Logan had felt only moments ago drained from his body. "No," his voice was barely above a whisper.
"Do you want to?"
Logan let out a breath that he didn't know he'd been holding in. "Kendall, I can't just do that with you here. I mean that's w--."
"I'll do it for you." Logan heard Kendall slip from his bed and felt the bed depress as he sat down on his. "Do you want me to?"
Logan felt his dick getting hard again as he imagined Kendall's firm hand around him. "Yes." He let out, his voice somewhere between a whisper and a moan.
Kendall pulled back the blanket and slid underneath. Logan felt his chest tighten in anticipation. He felt Kendall's hand reach out and graze his t-shirt.
"Where are you?" Kendall questioned. Only then did Logan notice he was on the very edge of the bed. He scooted toward Kendall and grabbed his hand. For a moment he was tempted to lace their fingers together, but instead he placed Kendall's hand against his chest.
"I'm right here."
Kendall scooted a little closer to him as well. Tentatively he swept his fingers down Logan's chest, let them stop to rest on the waistband of his boxers.
"Take them off." Kendall urged in a whisper. Logan obliged and shimmed them down his legs then kicked them off. Kendall fingered the bottom of Logan's t-shirt. "This too." Logan slipped the shirt over his head. His heart was beating fast and his skin was aching to be touched. Finally, Kendall stroked a single finger down Logan's chest. Logan shivered in response, and the sensation went straight to his dick.
Finally, he felt Kendall's long, lean fingers wrap around his shaft. He let out a soft groan at the delicious contact. Kendall stroked him smoothly, twisting his wrist just as he reached the head. Logan couldn't help but thrust softly into his grip.
"Oh, God." He moaned out, trying to bit back the little noises that were threatening to escape from his lips. He was both thankful and frustrated by the darkness that hid them both. Thankful because that meant Kendall couldn't see him like this, how turned on his was, the way he was biting his lip trying keep himself from crying out. Frustrated because he wanted nothing more than to see how Kendall was reacting to his.
He could feel himself getting closer to the edge for the second time that night, and he forced his hips to still, wanting this to last longer. Then, Kendall reached down and fondled his balls gently. Logan, released a little moan at the new sensation, and suddenly his vision went white, and he thrust into Kendall's still stroking hand as he came. He gripped onto Kendall's back as the waves of pleasure coursed through his body, barely noticing that Kendall wasn't wearing a shirt either.
After several seconds, he finally released his hold on Kendall and rolled over onto his back, trying to catch his breath. He heard Kendall rummaging around on his side of the bed. Logan guessed that he was wiping his hand off on some discarded piece of clothing. Finally, he found his voice.
"Can I do you now?" Some part of his felt a little ashamed for asking, but an even bigger part of him wanted, needed to touch his best friend.
He felt Kendall turn back towards him, but he didn't speak. Instead, he sought out Logan's hand. When he found it, he pulled it down towards his own dick. Logan could feel the pre-come leaking through Kendall's boxers. He smiled a little to himself, glad to see the Kendall wanted this just as much as he did.
"Take them off," he ordered, repeating Kendall's prior words. Kendall did, kicking his boxers off to join Logan's on the floor. Logan reached out tentatively for Kendall's cock. He ran his fingertips softly along the shaft and circled the head, getting a feel for it.
"Please." Logan recognized the need in Kendall's voice, and he wrapped his hand around the shaft. He stroked smoothly up and down, hoping that Kendall liked the same pressure that he did. He flicked his thumb against the underside of the head, and Kendall hissed out. "Sorry," Logan mumbled out, sure that he'd done something wrong. He began to pull away his hand.
Kendall grabbed his wrist to stop him. "No, don't. Good, it was good." His words were labored, his breathing fast.
Logan wrapped his hand around Kendall again, this time increasing the pressure of his hand. He stroked Kendall hard and fast, and Kendall thrust against his hand.
"So close." Kendall moaned.
Logan pressed his thumb against the underside of Kendall's dick, and Kendall came hard, consonants spilling across his lips as his hips stuttered into Logan's hand. Logan stroked Kendall through it until his hips stilled.
He rolled away from Kendall and reached over the side of the bed, wiping his hand clean on his discarded shirt. When he rolled back, he felt that Kendall had moved a little closer to him.
"Were you jerking off thinking about me earlier?"
Logan didn't see the point in lying, not after what they had done. "Yes."
Kendall laughed, the sound starting deep in his throat, and Logan's stomach tightened again. Kendall scooted closer to Logan, and Logan felt Kendall's hand wrap around his back, and pull him closer to him. Logan didn't object and moved with him. They sat like that in silence for a minute, Logan searching his brain for the right thing to say.
Then, Kendall spoke. "I'm not gay."
"Yeah, me either." Logan shot back, almost a little to quickly. It was true though. He wasn't gay. He just liked Kendall. What was wrong with that?
"Yeah...," Kendall trailed off for a moment, as if he were thinking about something, then spoke again, quieter this time, "but for some reason I still want to kiss you."
Electricity shot down Logan's back as he felt Kendall's hand grip his shoulder. "Funny," he finally managed to whisper out, "because I want to kiss you too."
Kendall ran his hand up from Logan's back and weaved his fingers into the short hairs at the nape of his neck. He laughed again, softly. "Good." Then, his lips met Logan's, and Logan could have sworn he felt the Earth move.