OPEN YOUR EYES pt1
Authors: doorist and alethea293
Rating: M - because Ale is still paranoid
Disclaimer: If we would, we wouldn't have to do this. We'd be watching.
Summary: Every minute from this minute now, we can do what we like anywhere. I want so much to open your eyes 'cause I need you to look into mine.
Pairing: Randy / Cody
A/N: This piece of joint-ficcage was written for a live journal drabble tree. Originally it was called Edwin Algernon but we realized while it's a great name it's not a great name for a fic. Hence the last-minute decision to name it "Open Your Eyes" after the song from Snow Patrol, taking a part of the lyrics for the summary as well.
Randy watched the scene unfold before him from his position at the bar. He really didn't want to be here, not right now, not ever. He felt... weird. Uncomfortable. He felt, out of place, like he didn't belong.
Sure. he didn't have to come tonight, and sure, no one made him. But it was the way Cody had asked him, well, the way his eyes had begged without him even saying a word.
He was powerless to resist.
But Cody had no idea the power he had over him, no idea that Randy would walk the four corners of the earth for him.
How could he possibly know? Randy had never told him.
Randy didn't even know when he'd started feeling that way, it had been so gradual, so natural, it felt so, right.
So then why was it his deepest darkest secret? Hidden forever in the dark recesses of his murky black soul? Because he knew he'd never say a damn thing about it, he'd never be able to admit it anywhere else outside the muttered ramblings in his brain when he'd had a few too many. Like now.
So now, Randy knew he had no right to be feeling this angry, this upset, this betrayed, yet again, as he watched him with a sinking heart. Watching the way Cody moved to the beat on the dance floor, the way a million hands were reaching out to him, touching him, gyrating against him, all wanting him, a piece of him, just like he did.
He wanted to be able to look at Cody like that, laugh with him so openly, touch him so freely, have Cody look back at him in a way that meant something more than mere 'team mate'. Randy couldn't stop the way his eyes narrowed as the blonde woman pressed her body hard against him, stretching up to whisper into his ear, and he laughed, laughed long and hard at whatever she'd just said.
Randy loved to see him laugh, uninhibited and free, but his heart clenched this time as he watched the way Cody whispered something back to her, and her wide eyed stare and mock shock as she giggled, raising her hand to her mouth in faux surprise at his words, waggling a finger at him as he smirked. As she leant in again, Randy couldn't handle it anymore, he slammed down his drink, he didn't want to see where this was going, what Cody would do next, and grabbing his coat he stormed towards the door.
Cody stared after Randy, his heart sinking, "There he goes, leaving... as usual..."
This time Beth's eyes really did widen in surprise, "It's Randy! Isn't it?" she whispered conspirationally, and Cody nodded forlornly as he watched him disappear into the night.
Beth's mind meanwhile, was replaying a barrage of images through her brain, images of Randy glaring at her, of his narrowed eyes, his twitching vein and clenched jaw every time he looked at her, and with a gasp of realisation she turned back, grabbing Cody's arm and pushing him in the same direction.
"You have to go after him,"
"What?! No way, I don't wanna make him even angrier..."
"Cody, you have to tell him how you feel! Go! Now!"
But Cody just looked at her as though she was insane, "Are you mad?? No way," he shook his head, making his way to the bar, "No fucking way,"
As soon as the cold, pure air of the night hit his face and invaded his lungs Randy felt himself calm down, gradually but still. At least he didn't have to witness Cody on display any longer.
He just couldn't take it anymore, though he wished, even longed for the days when he could. When he thought nothing of it, of those feelings inside of him. It was nothing more than him being protective. Nothing more. Until he realized that he was fooling himself. It was so much more than that.
"Randy... where are you going?" Cody stormed after him.
He didn't turn around, his heart sinking to his knees, afraid that if he'd turn around his face would betray him, his emotions.
This time the words were gentle, accompanied by a hand curling around his arm.
"Leave it." He muttered, keeping his face down. "Just leave me, Cody."
"Leave it? Leave what?"
Cody hurried to catch up as Randy shook himself free and strode purposefully along the pavement, hands trembling with emotion as he struggled to light up a cigarette in a useless attempt to concentrate on something else, hoping his silence would be enough to give Cody the hint.
Growling in frustration, he didn't turn around, he just kept walking, head down, "Leave ME Cody, leave me the fuck alone!"
But Cody was still right behind him, his hand on his arm more insistent this time, his voice stricken, "I'm sorry, whatever I've done, I'm sorry..." he sounded so distraught, so upset, and it was breaking Randy's heart that he was the one causing it, but it was the only way,
"Just fuck off okay? Fuck off back to your little whore inside, she's waiting for you, look, and get your filthy, fucking, hands off me,"
The way Cody's hand dropped from his arm as though burned, the shocked look on his face, the questioning look in his eyes as he glanced back towards the door and gasped out her name, "Beth?!"
The way he practically squeaked in shock at the words sent Randy over the edge and spiralling out of control as he almost exploded in a heady mixture of need, of want, desire, and anger. As he spun back around, spitting ferociously, arms flailing in frustration and catching Cody sharply across the cheek, he stepped right up into the younger man's face, resisting the urge to run his thumb across the large red mark already appearing.
He didn't mean that, he hadn't meant to do that, he'd never hurt him, never. As he stood gulping in huge lungfuls of air in an attempt to calm down, chest heaving, face to face, there was a brief moment as they stared into each others eyes, Cody's hurt and confused, Randy's guilty, scared, desperate, when he thought he was going to give in, give in and kiss him, right there in the street. But instead he turned and ran.
Bringing up his trembling fingers to his cheek, Cody stared after him; unable to move. The tingling burn intensified when his fingers, slowly numbing from the cold, brushed over it.
After getting over the initial shock of what had just occurred, Cody knew in his heart that Randy never meant to hit him. His eyes had told him everything he needed to know. They had spoken louder than Randy ever could.
He pulled his shoulders up, a feeble attempt to protect himself against the cold as he walked back to the door of the club; where Beth was already waiting for him, her foot tapping an impatient rhythm on the ground.
"Beth... I..." He pointed at his red cheek.
But he only received an eye-roll and a hand pointed into the general direction of where Randy was, a glowing orange spot in the distance . "He's standing right there!"
"I... uh... what am I..." He sighed, eyes dropping to the floor. "I don't know anymore."
"I brought your coat." With that she turned and walked back inside.
Cody stood with his own cigarette for what felt like forever, trying to decide whether to just fuck off, as Randy so eloquently put it, or to man up and get his arse over there. Finally, the decision was taken out of his hands as he noticed Randy start to move away, and he instinctively followed before he even realised what he was doing.
Randy wiped his eyes with the back of his hand as he laughed hoarsely at his own lack of self control, at what he'd been reduced to, stubbing out the last of his smoke and moving away from the shelter of the tree. He shivered briefly against the cold night air, thankful for the over indulgence of whiskey that kept him from caring. He heard footsteps approaching behind him and slowed his pace. This time Cody didn't say anything, just fell into step beside him and they continued on in silence, neither having the vaguest idea where they were headed.
Finally, Cody couldn't stop the words from leaving his lips, as much as he wanted to, "Are you okay?"
The concern was evident in his voice and Randy shrugged, unable to speak, feeling a fresh wave of emotion hit him at the enquiry, blaming his newly leaking eyes on the wind whipping his face. The silence stretched on as they walked in the dark, Randy's muffled breathing the only sound either could hear, until eventually he turned, stopping to pull Cody under a streetlight and with his own face in the darkness he scrutinised the red mark he'd left before.
This time he did let his finger brush over the slight swelling, unable to forgive himself for losing control like that.
Cody's eyes involuntarily fluttered shut at the touch, he couldn't make out Randy's expression in the dark, but he could hear the sharp intake of breath as he saw the damage he'd done, "I..."
"It's okay," Cody assured him, reaching up to touch the same spot, "It was an accident,"
Randy nodded, words still sticking in his throat, his hand dropping back to his side.
Why wouldn't he say anything? Cody wondered when Randy nodded, keeping up with the whole strong and silent thing but to be honest it was driving him mad.
And before he could stop himself, keeping his emotions in check, he was losing control as a violent shiver cursed through his body.
"Are you cold?" Randy asked, his face still obscured by darkness.
"Am I cold?" Cody snarled at him, venom in his voice. "Am I fucking cold? How can you even ask that?"
A shrug. "It's winter and it's freezing."
"Randy just shut up!"
This was probably one of the few times that Randy was indeed shut up.
"I'm fucking sick and tired of it!" Cody leaned his head back, staring into the black, starless sky. "Sometimes I swear that you'd finally opened up... but it just never happens!" He stomped his foot angrily. "I'm sick of it."
And then he did something that required all his strength, all of his mind as he willed himself to walk away from Randy.
Cody hunched up against the cold, angrily stomping away as he followed the path they'd come, repeating to himself over and over, 'Don't look back, don't look back...' as he kept his focus on the ground. All he wanted was for Randy to talk to him. They were friends right? At least, he'd thought they were. But recently, it seemed like Randy didn't even want to know him at all.
Randy watched him walk away, every fibre of his being screaming at him to follow, to say sorry, to apologise, but it was obvious Cody didn't want to know. And why would he? Randy knew he'd blown it, Cody had bothered to come after him, he'd given him a chance and Randy had basically thrown it all back in his face because he couldn't bring himself to open his god damned mouth, because he knew, if he did, even one word, the way those eyes were staring at him, he wouldn't be able to stop himself from breaking down, he knew he'd say things he'd regret.
He sank down onto the nearest bench, head in his hands, finally unable to stop the tears from falling properly now he was totally alone. What the fuck was wrong with him tonight? Was this really all he was worried about? Being himself? His stupid pride getting in the way? Too busy worrying that Cody would think less of him if he just broke down, when in fact that's all Cody seemed to want from him? To finally open up? His shoulders shook and his chest heaved as he sat there for god knows how long, silently letting it all out, finally rubbing his eyes furiously and cursing Jack Daniels to hell and back as he stood, feeling like shit, having got himself nowhere, just back to square one.
Even though Beth had tried her best to console him; for Cody the night was ruined and he didn't even know why. Randy had given him no reason whatsoever and he was lost. There was nothing to be said or done to make him snap out of his thoughts.
So instead of pulling his friends down Cody decided that it was time to get back to the hotel and hit the shower and his bed.
Only one tiny detail he had completely forgotten about; he was rooming with Randy tonight. Because Kirsten had the ever brilliant idea to surprise her husband with a visit.
When he pulled his card through the slot, Cody was sure of one thing. He wasn't going to back down, give in or cower. He was going nowhere. Randy would just have to deal with that.
The room was completely dark when he reluctantly stepped inside, suddenly nervous about what he might find. What if Randy was there? He really had no idea what to say to him, how to act around him, no matter what Beth said there was no way he could tell him now, that was quite clear. Whatever Beth thought, whatever had made her so insistent, suddenly forcing him to go after Randy like she had, well, she was obviously wrong. Randy hated him. And he wished he could just go back to how it was before, his blissful unrequited lust from a distance. Maybe he could? Randy had no idea about the things that ran through his brain on a daily, no, hourly basis after all...
For a second he hesitated before reaching for the lights. But as the room flickered into life the first thing he saw was Randy cower from the brightness, one arm across his eyes as he sat slumped in the chair by the window. He had a new, full, bottle of JD in his hand, and he looked terrible, he looked, Cody realised in shock, like he'd been crying.
Saying nothing at all Cody put his card and wallet n the small table, his hands eventually reaching over to ease the bottle out of Randy's grasp. "I think you had enough for tonight."
Again he was met with stoic silence.
"I'll have a shower now... why don't you get ready for bed?" He asked gently, wondering when he had become Randy's caretaker.
"I dun wanna." He slurred as he stood up, swaying on the spot before he leaned heavily against Cody for support.
It was the shuddering intake of breath that made him look up, taking Randy's face between his palms gently. He couldn't ignore the red and shining eyes any longer. "Whatever it is, it'll be okay... I swear."
Randy stared at him, his brain slowly catching up with what was going on. And as he looked into those big blue eyes, for a second only, he believed him.
Feeling the comforting warmth of Cody's palms against his tear stained cheeks, Randy nodded, biting his lip as he whispered, "I doubt it, 'cos I really don't deserve you," he staggered slightly as he went to take a step, Cody steadying him, wondering if he'd just heard him right.
"Look, maybe you should get in the shower first, might make you feel a little better, yeah?" Cody steered him towards the bathroom and ushered him in, leaning him against the wall where he stood with his head back against the cool tiles, eyes closed, while Cody turned on the water. Turning back to him briefly, Cody wondered if he was asleep as he paused in the doorway, but Randy surprised him by cracking open an eyelid and thanking him quietly.
Back in the bedroom, Cody rubbed his hand over his hair, fidgeting as he waited, worried that Randy would fall asleep or fall over in his current state. But soon he heard the water turn off and couldn't help breathe a sigh of relief, whatever was troubling Randy seemed to be taking over his life recently.
He looked up as Randy emerged, clad in a towel, clothes bundled up under one arm and rubbing another towel over his head, looking sad, looking thoroughly exhausted, looking incredible, looking more real, more open than Cody had seen him in a long time.
"Yeah," Randy nodded, having the good grace to look shamefaced as he leant against the doorframe, still pretty worse for wear as he lowered his arm. "Cody," he began, "Look, I'm really sorry, about everything, about what I did to you, what I said, about, about Beth..."
"I really didn't mean it, I'm so fucking sorry, I mean, I like Beth! It's unforgivable, what I said, and you know, really, I don't blame you if you hate me, but I'm happy for you guys, you're real cute together..."
Cody stared at him in shock, "Randy, it's ok, you were drunk,"
"I still am..."
"I know." Cody smiled wryly at him, "And hey, we all say things we don't mean when we're drunk, right? But I don't get what you mean, about Beth, I mean, she's not my... I mean we're not, you know, I'm not with her,"
Cody shook his head, "I dunno where you got that from,"
Randy was looking at him with a weird expression on his face that Cody couldn't quite read, "Me neither..." he pushed himself away from the wall smiling the first true genuine smile Cody had seen on his face in weeks, mumbling as he made his way over to his bed, swapping places with Cody who headed to the bathroom, "In fact I like her even more now,"
"What did you just say?"
Randy looked thoughtful for a moment as he flung himself down on his bed, "I dunno... sorry,"
But Cody was sure he heard him right, did that mean... that Randy had a thing for Beth?
Throwing him one last look Cody made his way into the bathroom, the steamy, hot air almost choking him. It took him a moment to realise that he was choking on his own breath, the punch had hit him straight in the gut, making it hard to come up with the necessary amount of air.
As he stepped under the scorching hot spray of water Cody let his thoughts take over. And suddenly he had to grin. What was this song about? Some shit about how you can't see tears in the rain. He let out another choked laugh, though it sounded much more like a sob as he leaned against the cool tiles of the wall. He had been confused. Had been hurt, had been desperate. But nothing came even remotely close to feeling like this.
The lights were turned off when he walked back into the room, sitting down on the edge of his bed. He was so close. If he could only reach out, he could run his hands over the smooth plain of Randy's shoulders, down the crease of his spine, lowering into the dip that led right up to...
Cody snapped out of his thoughts as he tossed the towel aside and slipped beneath the covers.
He stared into the darkness, ears trained on the soft intake of Randy's breathing. So in synch with his own.
"Good night." He whispered almost inaudible.
"Good night Cody."
Cody's head rose slightly off the pillow, was that real? Or did his overactive imagination conjure it up to taunt him? The low rumble started up again, but Cody didn't catch it despite straining to hear, his mind drifting off after a moment of silence into a million possibilities, possibilities where he envisaged himself crawling not into bed on his own, but curling up against the broad, muscled back, wrapping his arms around the tapered waist, nuzzling his face into his shoulders and kissing the back of his tattooed neck. Sighing wistfully and rolling over, staring at the place he knew Randy to be lying across from him in the dark, Cody let himself drift off into a fitful slumber.
Randy lay frozen, staring into the darkness, had he really just said that out loud? He wasn't sure if Cody heard him, his whispered admission, he wasn't sure what would happen if he had. But he felt better about everything in his head than he had done in a long time, and was happy to take a back step in his complicated unrequited love life and just see where things ended up. He stared into the darkness, waiting for sleep, waiting for morning, and what the new day would hold.
The sun rose, bathing the room in a soft pink and yellow glow. Cody watches mesmerized as the shadow crept higher, listening as the city beneath them slowly bustled to life, the noise of the traffic increasing.
But inside of their room there was only the sounds of their breaths, again in perfect synch, and the occasional rustle of the sheets. When did life become so complicated? He didn't know, unable to pin-point the exact moment everything had changed. Not that it mattered now. Nothing really mattered.
Shifting into a sitting position Cody looked over Randy's sleeping form, a rare smile on his face.
Not caring that he was stark-naked Cody trudged into the bath-room unaware how Randy pressed his face into the pillow, suppressing a groan.
Randy's head was pounding, his memory non existent and his vision less than perfect, but the sight that met his eyes as soon as he opened them was enough to send him back off into fantasy land, bringing with it some rather unwelcome flashbacks of the night before interspersing themselves amongst the visions of naked Cody running through his head.
He rolled over, his morning wood pressing into the mattress and his hips grinding in, despite how crap he felt there was always room for thoughts of Cody, especially in the morning, especially when he'd just walked naked right in front of him.
Randy had been surprised to see him at first, in his drunken state he'd forgotten all about Ted's wife turning up unannounced and Cody being homeless for the night and rooming with him instead, not that he minded, the image of him naked as soon as he opened his eyes certainly not one he was going to complain about. Only problem was, now he had no way of taking care of the other little problem he usually dealt with in the morning, still pressing persistently into the mattress as he willed it away, hearing Cody re-emerge from the bathroom.
He closed his eyes again, concentrating on breathing evenly, but he felt a presence looming over him and couldn't stop an eye from quirking open in question. There he stood, towel round his waist now thankfully, holding out a glass of water.
"Hi," Randy's voice felt like gravel and he coughed as his sandpaper tongue seemed to fill his mouth. "Ugh,"
Randy just nodded, his mouth dry and feeling like it had been ripped to shreds.
"Here, sit up," Cody was holding out the glass, looking at him weirdly, and Randy attempted to move and cover his morning glory at the same time.
"Thanks," he managed to croak, downing it completely and finding another one in front of him as soon as he'd finished, "You're an angel," he added sincerely, eyes locking on the younger man's which were trained on him in concern. "How did I even get so drunk?" he pretended not to remember a single thing, hoping it might be easier to live down if he played it that way.
Cody sat back down on his bed, picking at non-existent threads of the off-white hotel towel. When Randy said that he didn't remember a thing about last night his hopes were crushed by the smooth rumble of his voice like shards of glass.
"So you don't know, remember?" He asked, taking his eyes off him and looking at his feet.
"Uh-uh." Randy replied and chose to press his face back into the pillow, letting out a content sigh. "Not a fucking thing."
"Well... I have no clue why you were so pissed last night... I came here and you were almost passed out next to your good friend JD." Cody lied easily. It was better that way; there was no need for any more tension and awkwardness between them. Now he only had to convince himself.
Randy watched as Cody lay back against his pillows, reaching for his phone and thumbing through his messages. He grimaced as he caught a glimpse of the faint red mark still blemishing the perfect cheekbone, and before he realised what he was doing the words were out of his mouth,
"How's your face?" he asked quietly,
Cody froze, holding his breath for an instant as he realised that Randy remembered more than he was letting on, glancing at him briefly he pretended to concentrate on his tiny screen, "I'll live,"
"I really didn't mean to do that Codes..." Randy said sadly, his voice trailing off, "Do you believe me...?"
Cody looked over at him, he was lying back on his belly again, face cradled in his elbow as he stared at the floor forlornly, fully aware he'd let slip that he remembered more than he'd meant to.
"Yeah, I know you didn't." he said kindly, hesitating for a moment as he bit his lip, "What else do you remember?"
Randy blushed, "Not alot," he lied easily too, finding the floor fascinating, "But I'm really sorry for what I said about Beth too, I definitely didn't mean that, I was just... angry... I guess..."
Cody's heart sank again at the mention of Beth, his long time confidante, he was convinced Randy was so upset because he thought Cody was seeing her... little did he know he was right...
"What were you so angry about?" the words were out of his mouth before he even thought about it, but he just had to know, as much as it would break his heart.
Randy shrugged, "Nothing..." he coloured even further, "I was being stupid..."
"Cos you know I'm not with her right? Do you remember me telling you that last night too? So, you know, if you want... I mean she's a free agent Randy, if you wanna ask her out or something, I'm sure she'd say yes, I mean, how could she refuse? Right?"
"What?!" Randy's eyes flew up in shock, staring at Cody like he was mad, "What are you on man? Beth?!"
"Yeah..." Cody faltered, more confused than ever, "Yeah, I mean, last night you said you like her even more now..."
Randy shook his head as he struggled to sit up again, his head pounding, reaching for more water, "Dude," he took a long gulp and Cody watched his adams apple bobbing up and down, "I like Beth, she's lovely, but... she's not my type."
If it wouldn't have been so incredibly childish Cody would've jumped up and down, whooping with joy. But he doubted that Randy would appreciate him prancing around stark-naked when he was nursing a hang-over because with his luck he'd lose his towel before his feet would touch the carpet again.
And again, it would've been incredibly childish, so he settled for a non-chalant. "Really?"
"Yeah really?" Randy replied, shifting on the mattress.
"You want another pillow?" Cody asked at his obvious discomfort, leaning back onto his bed, stretching to his full length to grab the spare pillow. "Here."
Randy lifted his head obediently when he stuffed it under his head, his hand reaching out at it's own accord to brush over the cheek. "Thank you."
Cody gulped and his body trembled with something unknown, unprecedented. And the towel fell.
They both froze, staring at the spot the towel landed as if expecting the floor to open up and swallow it forever, eyes not daring to meet each other, not daring to look up, then suddenly they both rushed to pick it up at the same time, hands meeting briefly before jumping apart.
Randy bent down again, not even realising he'd swung himself around to face Cody as he handed over the offending article, blushing profusely, eyes darting everywhere to avoid looking anywhere they shouldn't.
But Cody wouldn't have seen him sneaking in any inappropriate glances anyway, his own eyes glued firmly to the floor that he was willing to open up and take him and the towel together, end this endless hell that was his life right now.
"Here," Randy held it out, their fingers brushing again as Cody feigned nonchalance, his pink cheeks giving his discomfort away, but his casual stance as he stood to wrap it back around himself and the way he just shrugged and collapsed back against the pillows, picking up his phone to continue flicking through the screens like he'd been doing before as if nothing even happened, totally convincing.
"Thanks," he risked a glance at Randy who hadn't moved, fiddling with the corner of the sheet provocatively draped over his now even more rampant morning problem, eyes almost glazed over as the sight burned itself into his retinas.
Looking back at his phone, seeing absolutely nothing that was on the screen whatsoever, Cody bit his lip and took a deep breath,
"So what is your type then?"
"I don't really have a thing for blondes." Randy blurted out before he could stop himself. "I prefer brunettes you know."
Cody's reply came out kind of squeakish. "Really?"
"Yeah... especially with blue eyes!" He added for good measure, groaning at his own stupidity. He'd have to work the hang-over for all it was worth.
"My head is killing me."
Pushing himself off the bed, Cody walked over to his suitcase, rummaging through in search for some clothes.
"What are you doing?" Randy asked, not daring to move from his position as he was still faced with the same old morning problem.
"I'm gonna get us something to eat... you look like you could do with a healthy breakfast... and I'll drop by the front desk to see if they have some Aspirin for your head." Cody explained, waving his bright blue boxers around. "I'll... uh... go... now."
With that he scrambled over the floor, scooping his clothes into his arms and walked towards the bathroom to change. He didn't know why but he didn't seem able to undress in front of Randy. The next days were going to be hell, that was for sure.
He froze, his hand hovering over the door-handle. "What?"
"Don't leave... we can breakfast later... can't we?"
Shrugging Cody slumped back to the bed, dropping his clothes in the process. "So what you wanna do?"
Cody was completely confused, trying to keep cool on the outside, but his head was hammering out a bizarre mantra inside, 'He asked me to stay! I've got blue eyes! He asked me to stay HE ASKED ME TO FUCKING STAY!! And I'm a brunette! What do I do? What do I do? What does he mean??? Does he mean...? No...'
He was playing with the edge of his towel, still, thankfully, wrapped tightly around his waist, unaware of the expressions playing out across his face as the thoughts flew around his head.
Randy watched him curiously, "We can always just order up...?"
He looked up, even more confused, "Huh?"
Randy looked confused in return, wondering if he'd missed something, "Uh, breakfast?"
"Oh, right, yeah I guess," he couldn't help making a face, "It'll be gross though, won't it? I can find something much better down the street though, I'm sure..."
Randy looked crestfallen, "Okay,"
"I just don't want you to have to eat something greasy and horrible that you're only gonna chuck up, and you need to eat..." again Cody found himself wondering when he'd become Randy's mother.
"You wanna get away from me that bad huh?"
"No," Cody's face fell, that's not what he meant at all, and he suddenly realised, Randy had asked him to stay.
"I don't wanna get away from you Randy... I never wanna be anywhere else but right by your side," Though of course he didn't actually say that last bit out loud, "Why would I?"
"Cos I'm a fucking prick, and I treat you like shit?"
"No you don't!"
Randy sighed, feeling sorry for himself finally doing the impossible and allowing him to sit up straight for the first time with nothing to hide. "Cody, I need to ask you something..."
"Last night, when you got in bed..."
"Did you hear what I said?"
Cody cast his mind back to the murmured goodnight, and the low rumble he'd heard that followed it, shaking his head as their eyes locked across the gap between their beds.
When Cody denied that he heard anything else but the muttered 'good-night' a wave of relief washed over Randy. Somewhere in the universe there was a big fat plus on his karma side. Not because he didn't want Cody to know. Because he did. Just not like this. He deserved better than a drunken confession of his heart's deepest desire, he deserved much better.
"Okay... that's good." Randy said, his voice coming out a little choked. "Probably was something stupid anyway."
Cody's rapidly beating heart stuttered to a sudden halt. "Yeah, something stupid."
"Incredibly stupid knowing the effect JD has on my brain." Randy added, watching as Cody fiddled with the hem of that already unbelievably short towel, inching it up higher and higher on his thighs.
His hand shot out, palming his fingers in it. "Stop that."
Cody bit his lip. "Sorry... I know you hate that."
But Randy didn't let go of his hand, instead he entwined their fingers as he got up, a little shaky on his feet. "Don't ever apologize."
"Wha-what?" He looked up, jaw tense when Randy was so close, eyes immediately glued back onto their hands; warm and so perfect together.
"I mean... don't ever apologize for anything... ever." Randy said, his voice barely above a whisper. "But I'm sorry."
Again he looked up. "What for?"
There was no answer but lips pressed against his own, a wet tip of tongue pushing them apart gently but firmly.
Cody's brain practically exploded at the sensation of the soft lips against his own, gently probing as if asking for permission, and he didn't move for what felt like an eternity he was in such a state of shock, fully aware Randy was standing butt naked right in front of him.
But just as Randy seemed to think his lack of response was a bad thing, he suddenly found his senses again and couldn't stop his hands from snaking around Randy's neck at the exact second he was about to give up and pull away. Half a second more and it could've been over, yet another missed opportunity, and Cody cursed himself and thanked every non specific deity he could think of that he reacted in time.
"Randy..." he panted breathlessly, almost gasping for air but delving straight back in for more, his arms reaching further around the solid shoulders as he found himself suddenly standing, chest to chest, deepening the kiss passionately and desperately as if he thought that the moment he stopped he'd lose it all instantly. But he needn't have worried, the second he stood, Randy's arms found their way around Cody's lithe waist, resting just above his ever loosening towel and held him close. That was all the incentive Cody needed, and moaning into the never ending kiss he drew Randy back down onto the bed, pulling him on top of him, neither of them noticing the towel drop to the floor once more.
There was only one thing left to do. Only one thing that mattered most now. Getting closer to Cody, just hovering over him wasn't enough. As if he could never be close enough, ever again. Leaning onto his arm, Randy's hand ran over Cody's face, cheek, his thumb brushing over the jaw as their lips were fused together in a soul-searing kiss. And Randy had no intention of letting go until Cody detached himself from his mouth, smiling up at him as he tried to catch his breath.
Randy jerked away when those long fingers ran over his back and suddenly pulled him down with a force and determination he'd never expected from him.
Biting back the wanton moan that wailed in his throat Randy leaned down, nipping at Cody's neck softly, giving him time to get some air but only managed to draw a soft whimper from him.
His fingers ghosted over the plump lips, hushing him. "I'll take care of you."
Cody smiled cheekily, stealing another kiss as Randy stared into his eyes, completely smitten, "Promise?"
"Yeah, I do,"
Cody giggled, happier than he had been in a long time as he wrapped his arms around Randy's neck, tracing over the inky blue lines of his tattoos with his tongue and sucking the hot flesh, blowing lightly over the wet trail he left behind and smiling indulgently as Randy shivered below his erotic touch.
"Mmmm," he murmured throatily, "Kiss me again,"
And Randy did kiss him again, slow this time, nothing but a soft worship of Cody's lips, now slightly swollen. There was no urgency in the kiss, no needy haste as Randy took his time mapping out Cody's mouth with his tongue, biting down at the bottom lip.
"Look at me." He whispered. It was no demand, no order, no request.
And Cody's eyes fluttered back open, blue orbs staring at him through dark lashes.
Randy shook his head, his large hands almost dwarfing the face between them.
"Nothing.... it's nothing."
"I just... I just wanted to look at you..."
Cody swooned, letting out a heartfelt sigh and melted into the soft lips, hands reaching to further pull the bigger man into his hard body. Just as the heat levels in the room seemed to rise and grasping hands became urgent and needy, feeling every patch of searing hot skin, a loud gurgle erupted from Cody's belly, causing both men to stop dead in their tracks in surprise, before collapsing into giggles into each others mouths as their eager kiss resumed.
Just as they were getting lost in the moment again Cody's belly decided to intervene once more, even louder than before.
"That doesn't sound like something that can be ignored..." Randy whispered, nipping his lips as Cody giggled, pulling him back down,
"I'm only hungry for you," The enormous rumble that followed had them laughing again as Randy sat up, pulling Cody with him,
"I think someone begs to differ..." he smirked
"Well..." Cody pouted, "It can wait! I've only just managed to get the one thing I've wanted forever and I'm not letting anything get in the way!" he folded his arms across his chest, smiling cheekily as Randy stood, extending his hand.
"I think we can manage to pick up where we left off, don't you?"
Cody grinned in reply, kissing him softly as he joined him at the edge of the bed, "Sounds like a plan, let's go..."
They got delayed quite a few times, taking off items of clothing instead of putting them on but somehow they made it out of the safe haven of their hotel room fully dressed. Just before Randy opened the door, Cody reached up to fix his collar, stealing a kiss as he did so.
"Now you're presentable." He grinned at him as they walked out of the door, making their way through the deserted hallway as it was still early in the morning.
There was no need for words, their identical smiles that spread over their faces whenever they looked at each other were enough.
And as they stood in the elevator, watching the numbers count down slowly Cody began tracing the inside of Randy's hand with his index finger, drawing fantasy patterns over the sensitive skin.
Randy closed his eyes at the sensation before he huffed lightly, wondering what he was waiting for.
Cody let out a surprised gasp when Randy caught his hand in his, bringing it up to his lips, placing a soft kiss on the tip of his finger.
But to his shock Randy didn't let go of his hand, keeping a physical connection between them.
Then the door opened with high-pitched 'ding' and Randy's hand dropped to his side, leaving Cody alone, severed from the one thing he needed most.
Randy didn't know what made him let go like that, he didn't want to, in fact, he wished he had the guts, the strength, to keep a hold, he needed Cody's strength now more than ever, but some inbuilt instinct kicked in as soon as those doors opened, some deep seated fear that stopped him dead in his tracks, made him revert back to his old ways, back to running away.
He stopped, realising with a cold dread that Cody wasn't by his side, and turning around he just caught the tail end of the frown as Cody struggled to mask his feelings, the lopsided smile he attempted not quite reaching his eyes as he stepped out of the lift just before the doors closed.
Randy bumped shoulders with him as he drew alongside, a lame attempt to make up for his cowardice, "I'm sorry," he whispered crestfallen, genuinely meaning it as they wandered towards the dining room.
"It's okay, I mean, I understand Randy, really, I know it's not easy, and it's not normal, we don't want people talking, I get that, really..."
"I'm still sorry..."
"Me too," Cody said wistfully,
"I just need some time," Randy pleaded with him earnestly as they took their seat in the far back corner away from the rest of the rooms occupants,
"I know, I know," he sighed as they took a seat, both oblivious to the small smile on the face of a certain blonde sitting on the other side of the room, regarding them with interest, as Randy's hand tentatively reached out to stroke lightly over Cody's arm as he reached for the menu.
Cody shuddered involuntarily when Randy's fingers brushed over his skin, sending his senses into overdrive. But it was over far too quickly to be considered anything more but an accidental touch.
"So." Randy began after they had ordered, both much more than they usually would, his hands fiddling with the salt and pepper shakers. "What are you planning on doing today?"
"What?" Cody managed to croak out, almost choking on his tongue as his mind overruled his common sense with images that completely inappropriate for such an innocent question.
"I mean, Ted will be busy with Kristen today so that leaves us... what you wanna do?"
"Uh... nothing." He shrugged, holding his breath when Randy's hand hovered over his own for a moment, his face falling when he picked up a napkin instead. "No idea."
They ate in silence, focused on their food.
Randy wanted to say something, anything but he had no idea what.
Cody wanted to say something but had no clue how. Instead he kept his eyes fixed on his plate, hands wound tightly around the knife and fork. He opened his mouth, about to make at least one remark about the lovely weather as he reached for his coffee cup, missing it by far and knocking it over, drenching the white table cloth in dark brown liquid.
"Fuck!" He shouted before he could stop himself, suddenly angry at himself for his lack of self-control, for being pissed at Randy for taking his hand away, for not saying how much it had actually hurt. "Fuck!"
Randy watched him closely as he dabbed the coffee with several napkins, seeing the familiar look manifest on his face.
On instinct he hand shot out, not caring who saw, not thinking what they would say and rested on Cody's cheek.
"Hey... it's no problem."
"Of course it is a fucking problem!"
Randy shook his head. "It isn't."
He pushed himself up, taking the drenched napkins out of Cody's hand, tossing them aside. "It won't be... I swear."
The kiss was slow at first, Randy taking his time to work Cody's lips open., who responded immediately, standing up as well. So they stood, kissing in a hotel at 7am in the morning over spilled coffee and half-eaten breakfast.
Across the hall there was a single cry of triumph.
Cody smirked into the kiss, eyes darting to the side and spying Beth giving him the thumbs up in his peripheral vision. What really surprised him even more, was that Randy didn't even flinch, merely smiled at her over Cody's shoulder as she beat a hasty retreat.
"What was that for?" Cody murmured dreamily against his lips before Randy gently pushed him back down in his seat, taking hold of his hand across the table and rubbing his large fingers over the soft knuckles,
"Because I wanted to, I needed to, because I couldn't wait any longer, because you needed me to..."
"Am I that transparent?"
"Your face was looking the way I was feeling Cody..."
"And what does that mean exactly?"
"That I'm new to all this," he gestured between them with his free hand, "But it doesn't mean I don't want any of it, I do, but I'd be lying if I said it doesn't scare the shit outta me..."
"You just don't wanna be seen with me, do you?" Cody looked around, suddenly realising they were alone in the large dining room,
"Hey," Randy tightened grip as Cody made to pull his hand away, "I just kissed you! In public! I'm trying here, give me a chance man,"
"Only once everyone had gone!"
"Beth was there! All the waiting staff saw!"
"Did they?" Cody smirked at him, loving the way Randy's cheeks flushed as he realised what he'd done, "Well, it's a start I guess... and hey," he took Randy's hand in both of his, squeezing earnestly as he spoke, "Don't worry, Beth won't say a word, I promise, and I won't do anything in public that might give you away, I promise that too," he kissed the back of Randy's hand gently before putting it back down over on his own side of the table, "But when it's just us, alone, in private, I don't promise anything,"
Randy couldn't stop the biggest grin from taking over his face as he took Cody's hand back in his, signalling the waitress on her way by. Cody instantly went to draw his hand back but Randy just held on tight,
"I think we're gonna need a refill," he smirked slightly at the dreamy expression on Cody's face as their fingers entwined further and they stared into each others eyes, paying no attention to the waitress whatsoever.
"But you know that people will find out eventually." Cody said as they waited for the elevator to get to their room, tracing his shoes on the pattern on the floor. "And I want people to know... the ones important to me... they deserve to know, don't you think?"
Randy sighed heavily, still overwhelmed with the intensity of it all. Cody was just like he always was, eager, enthusiastic to go ahead, always looking forward. Almost always positive. "I suppose."
Cody gave him a small smile, nudging his arm gently. "We'll be alright."
"Alright?" He raised an eye-brow at him.
He nodded, still grinning as the doors slid open. "Yeah... we'll be alright."
Randy pulled Cody against him as soon as they started moving upwards, strong arms circling his waist as he started to kiss and nip along Cody's neck experimentally, memorizing the spots that drew that certain little moans from his lips.
Cody sunk against Randy, hips jerking against his thigh, mewling desperately.
"We're almost in our room..." He muttered as the elevator stopped, gently easing himself away from Randy, not wanting him to be embarrassed in case they ran into some of their co-workers.
"Almost..." Randy agreed, eyes wide when he realized who the voice belonged to. "Hey Ted... Kirsten."
Ted bid them a good morning, yawning repeatedly while his wife's eyes darted from Randy to Cody's neck, noticing the wet trail from his jaw to his collarbone.
Just when Cody's hand shot up to rub over his neck he was pulled into a hug by Kristen, who grinned like a woman possessed, pulling Randy into a hug as well before she pushed Ted into the elevator.
Cody and Randy could hear him asking 'what the hell was that about?' just as the doors closed again.
"Fuck, that was close, but how the fuck does she know?"
"Cody, calm down,"
"But she did though, didn't she? Do you think she'll tell Ted! Fuck! I'm so sorry Randy…"
But Randy just took hold of his hand and kissed every knuckle slowly, before turning and pulling him down the corridor, looking back at him smiling as Cody stared at their joined hands incredulous.
"Well, she didn't seem too bothered about it, did she? She seemed, kinda, happy for us… dontcha think?" He pulled him in close, bodies pressed together as he backed up to their door, capturing his lips feverishly, one hand wrapping delicately around his neck and fumbling with the keycard with the other.
Cody giggled apprehensively as he looked nervously around the corridor,
"What's got into you huh?! Getting a bit brazen in your old age hey Randy?!"
"Hey, bit less of the old, this fucking door! Open you bastard!"
"Hurry up! And it's okay, even though you're old, I still wanna get in your pants!"
Cody kissed him again, groaning into his mouth as he leaned into his body, one hand snaking down between their lean torsos to cop a cheeky feel of the rapidly hardening bulge.
"Omph, stop distracting me! Fuuuuck Cody…"
"Quick! Someone's coming!"
They burst through the door suddenly as the little green light finally appeared and practically fell in a heap on the ground, Cody kicking the door shut behind them, mere seconds to spare before more familiar voices drifted by outside and they descended into a fit of uncontrollable giggles, staring dreamily at each other from their tangle of arms and legs on the floor.
Randy finally calmed down, not even able to remember the last time he had actually giggled. Or laughed as much. It was like his mouth was curved into a permanent smile ever since... Cody.
Cody licked his lips, his face flushed from the excitement, laughter rumbling through his body. He didn't know when he had laughed so freely, so careless. Their eyes locked and leaned down, pushing himself onto his arms to slither up Randy's body, drawing a low grunt from him until they were lips to lips, only a whisp of air between them.
Tilting his head to the left Cody moved closer, inhaling deeply, putting everything away to memory as he kissed the edge of his mouth, his tongue licking the plump skin tentatively. His breath got hitched when he felt Randy's fingers brush the small of his back through the fabric of his shirt, fumbling with the hem before slipping beneath it.
His own lips were again captured into a demanding, heated kiss as Randy lifted up his head, closing the little distance left between them.
"This has got to go." Randy mumbled against his mouth and pulled the shirt over his chest, the touch of his hands leaving a tingling trail on Cody's skin.
Randy's hands felt like fire and ice all at the same time on Cody's skin, and he couldn't ever remember feeling anything like it ever before in his entire life. He gasped at the pleasure of the fingers ghosting over his back as his shirt was raised up and over his head, freeing his tingling body to the cool morning air, and he couldn't quite believe he was actually here, with Randy of all people, indulging in his most private fantasy.
Randy's mind was going through a similar epiphany, marvelling at the feel of the smooth skin beneath his fingers that he'd only ever dreamt about touching in the deepest recesses of his brain. He cast his mind back to the night before when he's watched Cody walk away from him, thinking he'd blown it forever and wanted to die in a sea of alcohol rather than face up to his inner demons. But something had happened in his mind, he didn't know if it was the hangover fug overriding his common sense or if he was still drunk enough to be lacking in inhibition of all kinds, but something, somewhere, seemed to think he was deserving enough of this angel on top of him now, writhing and moaning into his neck, never in a million years had he thought his dreams would become a reality. He opened his eyes, still disbelieving that he wasn't dreaming at all, that this was real, that this heavenly creature moaning his name wanted him just as much as the one in his head did, but the blue pools he was instantly lost in drew him in even closer and he knew it was real, it was really happening, it was finally here, he was home.
"Do you have any idea... how long I wanted this?" Randy breathed into their kiss, panting heavily as his hands pushed Cody's hips down on his own, creating a delicious friction between them.
Cody bit down on his lip but it did nothing to stop that little wanton mewl escaping him, his fingers tightening their grip on Randy's shoulder and chest. "How long?"
Randy chuckled lowly, shifting his hand to rest just above the waistband of Cody's jeans, finger-tips slipping under the rough material. "Very long."
Burying his face in the crook of his neck, Cody nipped at his collarbone carefully as his thumb brushed over a nipple. "How long?"
"Forever?!" Cody's stopped dead in his tracks and his eyes shot up in alarm as he shook his head, not sure he heard that quite right at all.
"Forever…" Randy nodded, a little surprised at his own admission, not that the knowledge was anything new to him, just that he had the actual guts to say it.
Cody released the breath he didn't even know he was holding, "Oh my god, Randy…" Cody peppered his face all over with kisses, holding his face firm between his palms, "Really?" He leant back, pushing himself up with his palms flat against the hard abs below him, cocking his head to the side and looking quizzically down at the man gazing adoringly at him, "Are you sure?"
Randy trailed his fingers longingly down the defined chest, dipping in and out of the hard muscles rippling under the skin as Cody reacted to his touch.
"Don't you believe me?" he asked softly, watching the way Cody leant into him, staring almost as though in a hypnotic trance, "Say something… Cody?"
"I just… I had no idea… I never in a million years…"
"Well it's true…"
Cody swooned visibly, obviously trying hard to keep it together, still just sitting motionless astride Randy's hips staring at him in disbelief. "Randy…"
"What is it? Codes?"
"I need to tell you something…"
He took a deep breath…
Randy was a little worried by the serious look that crossed Cody's face, not even a minute ago he'd been happier than he'd ever seen him before. His hand cupped his cheek, stroking it gently.
"I... I... " He looked to the side, unable to meet Randy's eyes. "Geez this is embarrassing."
Randy was taken aback by this, noticing how a blush crept over his face. "Tell me." He urged again, albeit softly. "Tell me what's on your mind."
Cody nuzzled his face into his palm before he placed it over his heart, the warmth of the skin burning across his own, making his breath stutter. "This belonged to you... from the very beginning..."
Randy bit his lip, squirming beneath him, his fingers wanted nothing more than to curl around Cody's neck and pull him down to meet his lips again but he knew that he wasn't finished yet.
"Ever since I came up to the main roster... I knew that this wasn't going to go away... the jump in my heart whenever I saw you... I fell deep." Cody wiped his cheeks furiously, cursing himself for getting so emotional.
Within a second Randy had flipped them around, hovering over his face, kissing the tears away.
"Me too, me too…" he whispered with an almost strangled sob, unable to stop his own emotions getting the better of him, never thinking that the stuff he dreamt about might actually ever happen, "Cody, I… " But Cody interrupted him,
"Wait," he held a finger to Randy's lips but Randy just kissed that too, "Randy, if we do this, I mean, I don't think I could handle it if, you know, if, if it wasn't for real. I can't do just… it's all or nothing…"
"Cody," Randy held his face between his palms again and kissed him deeply once more, whispering into his hair, letting his lips brush over his ear and feeling the trail of goosebumps follow the path of the wet trail as his breath ghosted over his skin, "Cody…" he looked deeply into his eyes, "I love you too,"
It would've been impossible to separate them even surgically for the next half hour as they explored each others mouths with their tongues, fingers roaming over every expanse of flesh they could reach. It wasn't until they were roused by the unfortunate timing of Randy's mobile ringing insistently that they reluctantly tore apart, after ignoring it the first three times, and the three that Cody's rang immediately after that, causing Randy to finally bark "This better be fucking good!" into the mouthpiece as he hovered on one arm over Cody's still prone body.
"Shit!" he fumed, hanging up and flinging the phone away he sat up, "Fuck! Not now! Fuck fuck fuck!"
"What?" Cody lay still, slightly worried as Randy got up and started to pack up his things, laying new clothes for the day ready on his bed.
"There's been an accident heading outta town, so the roads are all blocked and bottlenecked, the coach is leaving for the airport in an hour,"
"I know." He held out his hand, pulling Cody off the bed and right up close, stealing another kiss as he pushed him towards the bathroom, "We probably don't have enough time for separate showers…"
Cody smirked, pulling Randy along with him, "I think you're probably right,"
"You get in there, I'll be right with you," Randy kissed him again before turning back to pack his suitcase in record time, smiling to himself as he heard the water come on.
Just as he was about to eagerly slip into the bathroom to join Cody, a light knock resounded around the room from the main door. "Shit," he cursed under his breath, everything determined to get in the way of his limited alone time with Cody today it seemed.
"Ted?" he'd opened the door just a crack, clad only in a towel, and the beaming man in question pushed past him,
"You guys ready?"
"Uh, no…" Randy gestured at his attire, "Don't you have some stuff to be getting on with yourself?"
"Yeah, I just came to check you'd got the message, they told the rest of us at breakfast,"
"Randy?" Cody's voice came echoing from the bathroom, and before he could respond the raven head appeared from round the door and walked in to see what the hell was taking him so damn long. Walked in stark naked and dripping wet, much to Ted's extreme surprise.
Time seemed to stretch and the two seconds that passed seemed like an eternity. Cody ducked back into the bathroom, nearly slipping on the wet floor and cleared their stuff from the rack in order to keep his balance.
Randy could only flinch, not able to look Ted in the eyes. "You okay, Cody?"
A panted breath came out. "Yeah... nevermind... ouch."
Ted was about to open his mouth when flurry of auburn hair barged into the room, grabbing him by the arm. "Kirsten?"
"Teddy..." Her bottom lip was trembling dramatically. "I think there's a rat in our room." She didn't even stop to let her husband digest what he had just seen. "It's huge and hairy... evil... yellow... small.. eyes... and a big... monstrous..."
"Tail?" Randy offered, his hand still holding his towel in place.
"Yes... yes... huge tail... Teddy... you gotta get it out of your suitcase!"
"My what?" Ted was out of the room faster than Kirsten had ever imagined.
Randy let out a relieved sigh, giving her a thankful smile. "This is... I... thanks."
"Don't mention it." She walked past him. "I better get to our room before Ted realises that he doesn't have the key. See you later!"
Inside the bathroom Cody started giggling, slumped against the wall when Randy walked in, resting their foreheads together. "Something is trying to make it impossible for us..."
"Let it try..." Randy muttered and pulled him into a kiss. Let it try. He wouldn't give up.