After the park, they quietly walked back to Olivia's apartment, hand in hand. Alex apologized for breaking down, but Olivia interrupted her apology, saying that it was okay. There was no need to apologize.
When they got inside to Olivia's apartment, Alex stood at the entrance, eyebrows furrowed in through.
"Are you okay?" Olivia asked gently, placing her hand on the small of Alex's back.
Alex nodded. A grin spread across her face and she turned to look at Olivia, "I need a deck of cards and a bottle of tequila."
"What?" the brunette asked, completely surprised at the statement. She looked Alex over for any sign of a joke. Her eyes seemed playful, but the request seemed firm.
Walking to the coffee table, Alex started clearing it of magazines and coasters, "You know how to play strip poker right?"
"I…what?" Olivia stuttered. She couldn't believe that Alex wanted to play strip poker and drink tequila. However, she had promised herself that whatever Alex wanted to do, she would do because people work through assaults in different ways.
The detective walked to into the kitchen and dug in her cabinet for tequila. It had been sitting in the back of a cabinet for a while so she had to wipe the dust off. After cleaning the bottle, half full of the amber liquid, she got two shot glasses out of the same cabinet.
When she got to the living room, her coffee table was cleared off and Alex was nowhere to be found.
"Alex?" Olivia called setting the tequila and shot glasses on the table.
The blonde emerged from the bedroom, still wearing Olivia's leather jacket. Her shoes were gone and she padded to the table, cards in hand.
The detective tried to remember where she kept the cards and how Alex would know where they were. Then the brunette remembered she and Alex had played blackjack a few times just to kill time before a movie or a show.
"Ready?" Alex asked, with a playful smile and an unidentifiable emotion in her eyes.
Olivia nodded, holding Alex's eyes until the blonde looked away.
They sat at opposite sides of the coffee table. Alex poured them both a shot before dealing the cards.
Two shots each and five rounds later, Alex had a neat pile of clothes next to her on the ground. Olivia on the other hand had lost both socks and her outer shirt. The blonde tightened Olivia's jacket around her and dealt again.
"I think you're cheating," Olivia shot across the table as she looked at the two cards in her possession.
Alex shrugged with a sly smile, "I'm sure you'd like to think that." She flipped the river and checked her cards again.
The detective wrinkled her nose, "If we were playing blackjack you'd be as cold as I am."
"Fine," Alex swept the cards off of the table and stacked them neatly. After a few shuffles she tossed two cards to Olivia before looking at her own.
The tequila was forgotten, thirty minutes later as the stack of clothes had shifted to Olivia's side of the table. Alex had lost everything that was Olivia's plus her socks and jeans.
So she sat across from Olivia, in her pink hipsters, her shirt and Olivia's jacket. When she flipped over her card, she made a face like she smelled something back. The flipped over her card that was face down and sighed, "Busted."
Olivia smiled, waiting for her jacket to be handed across the table. Alex slowly stood and shrugged off the jacket, but instead of handing it to Olivia, she peeled off her shirt. She dropped it on the table and put the jacket back on over her pink bra.
"You seem attached to my jacket," Olivia mused, trying to mask her attraction to the blonde's exposed body. Her toned stomach stopped at the top of her hipsters and her long, lean legs started on the other side.
Olivia had to purposefully avert her eyes as her own leather jacket hung open, exposing a little of the blonde's cleavage. She hoped to god that the cards that were going to turn in Alex's favor soon.
Unfortunately, Olivia accidentally won the next hand, hitting twenty-one on the head while Alex hung at a meager nineteen. She reached behind her back and unhooked her bra, knowing Olivia would avert her eyes again as she maneuvered it off under the leather jacket.
When it hit the table, Olivia gathered the cards, "Why don't we pick this up tomorrow?"
The blonde looked thoughtfully at Olivia and stood, "C'mon Liv."
Olivia sat on the floor watching Alex disappear into the bedroom. The detective followed Alex, forgetting the clothes that were next to her and the bottle of tequila forgotten long ago.
When she got to the bedroom, she saw Alex sitting on the edge of her bed, looking at her feet with her hand on her lap. Olivia paused at the door, scared of what Alex was going to do.
The blonde stood, locking her eyes with Olivia's. She closed the distance between them and paused, seemingly trying weighing out the options in her head. In the end, she slid her arms around Olivia's neck, pulling the detective to her.
Olivia's arms automatically wrapped around Alex's middle. The bare skin under Olivia's fingers was electrifying. She often thought about, maybe even fantasized about, what it would be like to touch the skin of the ADA that the sun never saw. Now that she was actually doing it, her heart hammered in her chest and her breathing became shallow.
Before Olivia knew what was going on, Alex pulled back just enough to brush her lips against Olivia's. The tentative kiss turned into a slow drawn out battle of tongues, teeth, and lips.
A voice screamed in the back of Olivia's head to stop. That this wasn't Alex. It was trauma and tequila making these advances.
Finally the scream in her head, overcame the beat of her heart in her ears. She gently pulled away, placing her hands on the leather clad arms of the blonde. She looked at the momentarily confused eyes of the blonde and let out in a voice barely above a whisper, "You don't want to do this."
Alex held Olivia's eyes in a penetrating gaze. Olivia could tell from that that the tequila had done almost nothing to the blonde. She was nearly stone cold sober. After a cleansing breath, Alex explained, "I do want to do this."
"Right now?" Olivia asked the obvious question, "After what happened just a few hours ago."
Knowing that it would take more than a few seconds to explain, Alex pulled Olivia over to the bed and sat her on the edge. Closing the jacket over herself, Alex ran a hand through her hair. "My thought process on this was this could give me back control. Control of my body. Control of who I have sex with and how and when." Alex exhaled an audible stream of air, "But I guess that's not fair to you. I've been attracted to you for a very long time, but I didn't stop to think that it wasn't reciprocated and I wouldn't want to use you like that."
Olivia could see the disappointment in the blue eyes. It was laced with a tentative longing that Olivia identified as a vague emotion that had been lurking in the color of Alex's eyes for a while, she just never recognized it.
With a weak smile, Alex stood and ran another nervous hand through her hair. "I think I'm going to go take another shower."
Just as she was about to walk away, Olivia took her hand and pulled her back down to the edge of the bed. After a quick look at the blue eyes that always sucked her in, Olivia took both of Alex's hands in her own. "It's not that I don't want to be with you. I've thought about it, dreamed about it for a while, but thought nothing would happen…I just…Don't think now is a good time."
"I understand your hesitancy," Alex replied, determined to make Olivia see this her way, "But I'm really okay. I've heard what victims tell you and for a while I felt exactly like that, but what could have happened was much worse than what did happen. You saved me. I meant what I said about you being my hero, but you were me hero long before you burst through that door of the bedroom."
Olivia seemed confused if only for a moment. She looked down at their intertwined hands trying to sort out what all this was in her mind.
"Um, change of plan," Alex gently smiled, "Will you just lay with me?"
Olivia smiled back, glad Alex had settled somewhere in the middle. They crawled up the bed and Alex closed her eyes as the detective wrapped her arms around her. Olivia's hands got lost in the expanse of skin under her fingertips. Her ran her hands up and down Alex's back under the jacket in small caresses as the blonde held onto her.
Alex moaned at the contact and tilted her head so that it was now facing Olivia's neck. The breath on her neck tickled slightly and caused Olivia's body to shift slightly into Alex, accidentally sliding her knee between Alex's legs.
The blonde's breath hitched and she tried to calm herself. She mumbled into Olivia's neck, "If you keep moving like that we'll have to do more than lay here or I'm going to need a cold shower."
Olivia ginned at the statement and removed her knee, "Sorry."
"Mhmm," Alex pulled away to rest her head on the pillow next to Olivia's, "So, can I count all our dinners out as dates or do I have to start over?"
"I think we'd have to start over."
A grin appeared on Alex's face, "Alright, so are you free tonight?"