Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans or its characters. Please enjoy it anyways.
I gave it all I had. And that still wasn't good enough. It never was. I never was. No matter what, I was always being saved and up-staged. The worst part was, they weren't trying to make me look bad. None of my friends would ever do that. It was just happening naturally.
With a sigh, I entered the tower and walked to my room, losing appetite for food and conversation immediately. Let them celebrate another front-page win. I just wanted to lie down and forget how I screwed up again.
Starfire's musical laughter could be heard even in my room, as well as Cyborg's cheers for a job well done. I sighed again.
Climbing onto the top bunk of my bed, I hit play on the remote held in my hand. Three Days Grace began their infamous song Animal I Have Become. The irony was enough to kill me. Sometimes I almost wished it would.
My mind ran over the events of the day. Sadly enough, I couldn't force the moment where I screwed up to be skipped. I saw it clearly. The exact second where I had faltered by not changing fast enough. Then the moment where I was hit and down for the count came. And Raven standing before me, a shield protecting us both. Cyborg and Robin rushing the enemy, saving us all with a blast from Starfire as well ended the playback.
The song playing lulled me into an unfitful nap for about an hour. I woke to the shouts of Cyborg.
"Yo, BB, wake up! It's time to eat. We're going out for pizza!" came his large voice.
I sat up and told him I was coming in a groggy voice. I jumped down from the bunk and rushed to comb through my hair. Jogging out my door to meet the other titans, I ran into a very familiar violet haired girl. We both stumbled backwards, but neither fell. A sheepish look immediately overcame my grin. "Oh. Raven. I'm really sorry. I wasn't looking where I was going."
Of course, I didn't say I didn't see her. If I had been looking, she would have been the first thing I saw. That seemed to happen a lot lately.
She nodded, not seeming angry at all. Raven actually looked calm, almost peaceful.
"And thanks, for earlier, I mean." I grinned again, grateful for her fixing my stupid mistake.
My grin widened and I followed her through the doors to meet the others. Cyborg called to us, complaining we were keeping him from his precious car. I rolled my eyes, watching Raven shake her head at the half-metal Titan. We followed him without arguments to the garage anyways. Robin sat shotgun while Cy drove. I let Raven climb in, then hopped in the middle. Starfire climbed in after me, excitedly talking about how Cyborg's driving was so much fun and reminded her of something from her planet.
I glanced over at Raven, grinning widely. The empath, however, stared at the window with a blank expression, not really noticing my large smile. She seemed to be thinking about something.
Reaching the pizza place, Starfire practically flew out the door – which isn't actually impossible – and sported a giant, joyful smile while breathing the summer air. I laughed and followed after her, standing to the side so Raven could exit. The violet haired girl got out the car without a sound, allowing me to close the door for her. I claimed a seat next to her while sitting at the booth as well. She said very little, but never complained about me. I watched her carefully, not wanting her to know how long I stared at her during dinner or how intently I was watching her.
We were all laughing and joking, apart from Raven, when the waitress brought our re-filled sodas back. Most of us smiled and thanked her, then began sucking those down just like the last ones. Slowly and gracefully, Raven reached out for her glass of water, the sleeve of her shirt pausing before her arm did. There was a bright red slash, and then accompanied by two more, burning furiously against her pale skin. They didn't look like something you could have done by accident either... I just about choked on my soda, but thought better to say anything. I was glad our night out would soon be over. Because I really didn't know how long I could sit there and watch her act like everything was normal. Truthfully, I hoped her harming herself wasn't as natural to her as her sarcastic quips were.
On the ride back, I sat next to the quiet girl in my own silence. All this time I knew Raven and I never knew her secrets – or why she would do something like that. Cy and Robin teased me about being so quiet for once, but I shoved them from my mind. I had much more important things to think about than them. Even while playing the new Ultimate Death 4: Collector's Edition, I couldn't concentrate at all. Cyborg was victory dancing after every battle. I eventually walked to my room in silence, thinking still of her scars. Of course, he came to talk later, thinking I was upset over losing, but I mumbled about being tired and he left without objection. For a long time, I just lay curled into myself on the top bunk, thinking about how she must've felt in order to harm herself... I knew Raven had to have wished for emotions and yearned to be normal, but I never thought the yearnings would be that strong. I certainly never thought they would be strong enough for her to feel the need to harm herself over. I almost couldn't believe anyone could want something that bad. But, like I said, I almost couldn't believe it… No matter how bad it was, however, I wanted to help her anyway I could. Sadly, it wouldn't be as easy as it sounded. I knew Raven, and I wasn't stupid. After already being hurt by Malchior, she wouldn't be so trusting.
That was when I decided I wanted to help Raven feel normal, if only for an hour or so. I also decided, that night, to better myself. If not for Jump City's safety, then for the scars of a Raven.
First chapter. I hope you enjoy. I just wanted to try my hand at something new, and love the Raven and Beast Boy pairings.