Um...don't ask me why I keep starting new stuff. Just go with it.
Old Soul's not forgotten. All Roads Lead to Washington isn't, either. I've just had this one in my brain for too long. Time for it to get out.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Boondocks. Otherwise everyone would probably want to kill me for messing stuff up by now.
Huey Freeman was in over his head.
"Can you come out?" He sighed, running a hand over his tired face. "Please?"
Way in over his head.
When he and his girlfriend of five years, Jazmine DuBois, had started dating back in high school he'd never imagined they'd last so long. Sure, she was cute and funny and had a tendency to make him smile as much as he tried not to, but anyone who had eyes or a half working brain could tell that people like him, indifferent, intolerant and cold, and people like her bubbly, giggly and optimistic, never worked. On the real even he didn't know how they were still together. It was safe to say she probably didn't either. Not only did they share extremely different interests, they also had different plans for where they wanted to be in ten years. She wanted to be married. Good god, he couldn't even see himself being married in fifty years. And married to Jazmine of all people?
Alright, so that wasn't fair. Despite all the differences, despite the odds that were stacked against them, they hardly ever fought (and if they did it was either over in five minutes, or they were mad at each other for so long that they'd forget what they were mad about) and when they did...well, the making up wasn't so bad.
Actually, the making up wasn't bad at all. And when a guy was in his third year of college, double majoring in History and African American studies so that he could go to law school and give the United States court system a big punch in the face, he needed a good stress reliever. Jazmine, who had wanted to be a veterinarian for as long as either one of them could remember, was basically the same way.
So at least they had that. Then again, depending on stress relievers so much was why they were probably in trouble now.
"Alright." Huey pushed himself off the still locked bathroom door, folding his arms over his chest and setting his brow. "So...today is November fifteenth." He tapped his chin, trying to go back in his mind as far as possible. "And your last period was...October...?"
Shit. He couldn't remember. And with Jazmine currently giving him the silent treatment it wasn't exactly the easiest to figure out.
While most men cringed at the thought of their significant other's menstrual cycle, Huey found it to be...well...tolerable. Since guys were usually so ignorant about a woman's period they ended up being completely thrown off by their girlfriend's sudden mood changes, their sudden bursting into tears over the smallest things (then again Jazmine did that even when she wasn't on her period), their cravings for sugar and their begging for ibuprofen. Well, Huey wasn't. He'd broken Jazmine out of the habit of keeping "feminine issues" to herself from the jump, so he was so used to her cycle it was like clockwork when she randomly started yelling about who left the remote on the floor or tearfully begging him to go to Walgreen's and get her a box of tampons eleven o clock at night. Huey wasn't one who let himself be walked on, but he respected the female anatomy.
He had to. He wasn't the one that had to worry about bleeding out once every twenty-eight days for the next thirty years.
Which was why it was so odd he didn't remember. He remembered everything. He remember Cindy's country cousin Dallas' birthday and he hadn't seen her since they were eleven. He remember his entire textbook for his Latin American history class word for word! How could he not remember the last date of...
"Jazmine." His patience was wearing thin. It was seven in the morning, he already had to rush if he wanted to reach school on time for his exam, and there was no time to play childish games. "If you don't open this door in five seconds, I will break it down."
A tiny sniffle came from inside the bathroom, followed by an annoyed voice.
"Then you'll be the one paying the landlord for it, not me."
"Goddamnit, Jazmine!" He sucked his teeth and rolled his eyes. "I don't even know why you're mad at me! So what if I can't remember the date of your last period? You can barely remember it!"
"That's the problem!" Jazmine shouted through the door. Her voice dropped. "I can't remember, either."
Huey sighed. That girl and her dramatic tendencies. He'd be much less stressed if he were single.
Then again, he was so used to her he didn't think he'd be as happy as he was now. Not that he'd admit that.
"Well, fine!" He threw up his hands. "You can't remember! So what? You had one in October, it's only November-"
"That's the thing!" Jazmine wailed. "I don't know if I had one in October!"
Well. That changed everything.
Huey's eyebrows rose as far as they could go. He blinked, staring so hard at the door it was as if he were trying to burn a hole in it. Jazmine sniffed again.
"Don't look at me like that!"
"I can't even see you!"
"Well I know how you're looking!"
"Jazmine." Huey was trying to be calm about the situation. He really was. "What are you trying to say?" She was quiet and he sighed again. "Do you think something's wrong? Do you think you're..." He swallowed, trying to get out the word every sexually active black male feared more than "Twenty-five to life". "...Late?"
There was a long silence. It was so long that Huey thought if she didn't get talking soon he just might have a heart attack. He heard a sigh.
"Yes." Her voice was calm, which meant she was most likely about to start freaking out. Jazmine was a lot like the calm before a storm; you fell into the trance of the tranquility, then the storm hit you like a tornado. Jazmine's personality was, in fact, a lot like a tornado.
...His girlfriend's period was late and he was thinking about her resemblance to a tornado?
"Alright." He sighed. "Well, what's the last period you do remember?"
She sighed as well. "September."
"September?!" Her twentieth birthday had been in September! He'd hit that rabbit with his car and she'd been mad at him for days in September! September was forever ago! "Jazmine, what the hell-"
"That's the last one I remember!" She yelled defensively. "I might have had one in October! I might not have! I don't know, okay?" And then she was crying again, which only served to annoy Huey more.
"Well there's no use crying about it!" He said sharply, mostly because he was annoyed but partly because what-the-hell-was-going-on?! "You can't remember your last period. It's alright." It wasn't, but for once in his life he'd take a crack at this optimism thing. "October was stressful. You had that MCAT and I had the LSAT and there was a lot going on...maybe you're stressed."
"Oh, I'm stressed now."
Huey leaned against the door again. "Well...maybe the reason you're so stressed is because...I don't know, maybe you're PMS-ing."
WRONG ANSWER. Huey mentally facepalmed himself and groaned. One thing he'd learned long ago, one thing that was practically a law...you never, ever, ever told a woman she was PMS-ing. Ever.
The silence that hung in the air was possibly the first time in his life he didn't appreciate the quiet. After a long moment, Jazmine spoke.
"Huey." Her words were sharp, so cold that there was no doubt he'd rubbed off on her. "Go to Walgreens. Get me a..." Huey could practically see her flinch at the words that left her mouth. "Pregnancy test. Do not come home without it. I might...possibly kill you."
He didn't doubt it.
Huey scratched the back of his head, wincing. "Um...which brand?"
Did that kind of thing matter? He didn't know! He was an expert in the woman's menstrual cycle, not the woman's pregnancy scare! Holy crap, she was having a pregnancy scare! They were having a pregnancy scare!
It was getting a bit harder to breathe.
"I don't give a crap, Huey!" Jazmine yelled. "Just buy one!" She seemed to change her mind. "No, two! God, I don't care. Just get me a damn-"
"Alright alright! Damn!" Huey rolled his eyes, going to the couch in the other room and grabbing his backpack. He got his keys off the end table and glared at the bathroom door as he walked past it to the front door. "Maybe if you didn't yell so damn much-"
"I'M SORRY!" Jazmine was suddenly screaming; it was so loud Huey dropped his backpack and jumped back, his eyes wide. "I didn't mean to y-yell at-"
"Oh, for the love of-" Huey sighed, stepping over his book bag and dug into his pocket, pulling out a pocket knife. He crouched down so that he was eye level with the doorknob and twisted the blade inside the lock, jiggling it a certain way. Since the lock was flimsy and his lock picking skills were too much for the inferior door to handle it clicked open with ease. He twisted the doorknob and opened it.
Jazmine was sitting on the edge of the bathtub in one of his t shirts. Her hair was in a wild, poofy ponytail and her face was in her hands. She was crying (what else was new) so hard that he was surprised she hadn't started hiccuping yet like she usually did when she was upset.
There they were.
"Jazmine." She didn't even look at him as he walked into the bathroom, dropping the lid on the toilet down and sitting on it. "It's going to be okay. I'll buy the test, and you'll take it, and it will probably be nothing. Because...well..." Jazmine lifted her head to look at him with red rimmed eyes. "It just won't be."
Jazmine swallowed. "R-really?"
"Er..." No. "Yes?"
Jazmine hiccuped again, looking back down at the floor. "I guess so."
"Good." Huey got up, heading for the door. "Don't you have to go to school?"
Jazmine sniffed. "I'm not going."
"Aw, come on-"
"I'm not going." Jazmine wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. "I wouldn't be able to concentrate."
As quiet as it was kept he wouldn't be able to, either. His mind was so preoccupied with this whole thing that he couldn't even remember what the exam was on anymore. "Alright then." Huey picked up his bag, opening the front door. "Well, I'm gone. Call me if you need me."
Huey closed the door behind him, starting for the stairs. It was nothing. It had to be nothing. They were twenty! He was going to law school, she was going to med school, and they were responsible! They used protection! They filed their income taxes!
He tried to imagine law school. He tried to imagine law school with a stroller. He tried to imagine law school with a stroller and an actual baby in the stroller.
He really was going to throw up. There was no way he could go to class. When he got out the apartment building into the cool November morning air he took a deep breath. Instead of heading to his car he walked in the opposite direction towards the Walgreen's down the street.
He didn't have to worry about an insanely hormonal Jazmine killing him. If this wasn't just a scare and there would actually have to be a stroller in his immediate future, he would probably die on his own.