A/N: Hey guys, don't really know where this came from. I just had some free time during school today, and I started writing this. Please let me know if you liked it. I've been getting really discouraged about my writing lately.
"So they really disowned you, just like that?"
I sighed, glancing over at Remus, who sat on James' bed, looking at me in concern. I turned my back again, staring dully out at the Potters' grounds. I didn't want to meet my friend's pitying gaze.
"We all knew it was just a matter of time Moony. No surprise, right?"
"I don't want to talk about it Moony. Just please, leave it alone. It's done, over with. Doesn't bloody matter anymore."
Remus came up behind me, gently touching my face. "If it doesn't matter Padfoot, then why are you crying?"
I shake him off, disgusted with myself for being weak. "Because I'm a fucking baby, that's why. I'm so weak and emotional and all, no wonder my family wanted to get rid of me."
Remus' hands trailed down to my shoulders, spinning me around to face him. "If that's the reason that they got rid of you, that they disowned you, then you're better off without them Pads. It doesn't make you weak if you cry. It merely makes you human, and it shows that you have feelings. You're allowed to feel Sirius, really. It's ok."
I shake my head, struggling to pull away from his hold. "It's not ok Remus. It's not. It's not ok to cry over something I knew was coming, it's not ok to cry over something I know is true."
"What do you know is true?" Remus asked, letting his hands cradle my face.
I struggle against him still, needing to get away from him before all my defensive walls break.
"It doesn't matter."
"Sirius," he growled, shaking me softly, "don't lie to me. We're not supposed to keep secrets from each other, we're not. We tell each other everything, so tell me what they said to you to get you in such a state."
"We don't tell each other everything," I growl back, wrenching his hands away from my face.
He looked at me, confused, grabbing a hold of my hands. "What do you mean by that?"
I sigh, taking my hands back, wishing that he'd just stop touching me. It made everything harder, when he was being nice and caring and gentle.
"We don't tell each other everything Rem. We don't, and we won't. It'll be that way forever. We'll hide things from each other. We're supposed to."
Remus shakes his head, his fingers tightening around my trembling hands. "I tell you everything Sirius, everything."
"You didn't tell me that you were a werewolf," I threw out, regretting it as he flinched, dropping his hands. I hadn't meant to say that. I just had to get him to stop touching me, to stop looking at me with pleading brown eyes. I sighed.
"Drop it Moony, please?"
"No Sirius. Tell me. What are you hiding from me?"
"They called me disgusting," I whispered finally, no longer able to hold it in. I trained my eyes on what was beyond the window once me. "They said that I was a pervert, and that I was terrible, and that no one would ever love me. They said that I'd end up being nothing but a whore, selling myself to anyone that would be willing to touch me. They were right. They are right. They'll always be right."
Remus gasped, reaching up to grab my face once more. "Don't tell me you believed them," he said, gaping at me.
I looked down, unable to meet his startled, accusing gaze.
"Everything they said was true," I whispered, tears steaming steadily down my cheeks.
Remus shoved me, pushing me against the wall right next to the window I had been staring out of, and holding me there with both his arms and the heat of his gaze. "Tell me something Padfoot," he spit out, body shaking with rage. "Have you ever taken money for sleeping with someone? Have you ever had sex with someone you didn't want, who didn't want you? Bloody hell Padfoot, have you even lost your virginity yet? Because last time we talked, just a week ago, I clearly remember us both saying that we were virgins, and planning on keeping it that way for the time being. Had that changed?"
I quickly shook my head. "N-no, none of that has changed…"
"Then how the hell are you a whore, or a pervert, or disgusting? How can you say those things about yourself? How can you have them say them, and honestly believe that they're true? Are you bloody mental Sirius?" he sighed, releasing me, instead choosing to pace the length of my best friend's room.
"Don't answer that. I know the answer. Oh, I want so badly to hex you right now, to clobber you until there's some since in that thick skull of yours. You make me mad Padfoot, so god damn mad. How could you believe a word of what those blasted people said to you?"
"Because I'm gay," I muttered, staring at the floor.
Remus stopped in front of me, kicking me sharply in the shin, before continuing his pacing once more. "Let me get this right, you bloody git. You think that you're disgusting and disgraceful, that you're a pervert and a whore and any other bloody name you may have called yourself, because you want to shag men rather than women?"
I nod once, rubbing my hand over my aching leg, before I fall over due to a well aimed blow to my head. "What the hell," I asked, glaring up at my friend.
He glared right back at me, crouching down so that we were eye to eye. "You're a fucking idiot," he muttered, before grabbing me and kissing me hard, right on my parted lips.
I gasp, attempting to pull back, but Remus held me to him, hands tangled in my hair. I groaned finally, so tired of fighting him, fighting what I was feeling, and I melted against him, pressing my lips to his just as hard.
As soon as I began responding, Remus gentled the kiss, softly nibbling on my bottom lip before easing it into his mouth, and swiping his tongue over the flesh, before slowly pulling away.
"W-what?" I asked, staring at the werewolf with wide, disbelieving eyes.
He blushed, squirming slightly, before looking me in the eye. "You said your parents told you no one would ever love you Pads. I had to prove you wrong."
"What…" I asked again, shaking my head in confusion.
Remus simply smiled at me, touching my face, before pulling me in to kiss me once more. "I love you," he whispered against my lips, sighing as I brought my arms around him.
"Really," I asked, pulling back a little to stare at the boy in my arms in amazement.
Remus rolled his eyes, still smiling at me slightly. "No. I'm just saying that to make you feel better." He brought his arm up, whacking me in the head again, and laughed as I groaned in pain. "Of course really, you stupid fuck. How could I not love you?"
"Well…" I murmured, laughing softly as he kissed me again, shutting me up before I could go into a whole list of reasons as to how he could not love me.
I think it'll be better if I just accepted that he loved me, or else I may just be beaten up by an irritated werewolf.
"I love you too," I whispered, smiling widely as he kissed me once more.
Remus sighed, holding me tight. "Your family doesn't deserve you Sirius. I'll show you that you're worth it though. I love you."
I grinned, holding the tawny haired teen just as tightly as he was holding me. It was nice to smile again.
A/N: So… how was that? Was it ok? Please review. It helps encourage me to post more stories, since I've been seriously considering retiring from the whole fanfiction thing lately.