AN: Okay first, this is different from my other story because all of these one shots will be AU. Some will be in the One Piece world, some won't. This one happens to not be. You may have also noted the rating on this one is different from my other collection, that's because sex is discussed. Not had, but talked about. I might dance around the edges a bit but I doubt I'll ever write a lemon. (Truth be told I tried once and nearly died laughing. Some people can, I can't. Let's just leave it at that. :P) Oh and Paulie does have a foul mouth. I might change the rating for the other story at some point because of that. But that doesn't matter here!

Second, Aska of the light, sorry! I told you I was going to do one plot but that story isn't finished and this one was just bouncing around in my head, practically begging to be written so I had to do it first.

Third, just so their is no confusion. This AU takes place in the real world, Paulie and Nami are both around 18 or 19, and they're already together. It's just a little blurb about them, because I love them madly. 3

And Fourth, I do not own them. Don't sue me. :P


Nami sat on a picnic table, looking out over the lake and little kids playground, feeling bored. She and her long-time boyfriend, Paulie, had been released from their last period class a little early so they had been free to escape their high school…and instead of doing something fun what did he want to do?

She sighed as she gave the blond a look. He had pulled out the application papers for a trade school in shipbuilding and was working on them intently. Really…she loved him dearly but sometimes he was such a nerd!

She had assumed he wasn't paying any attention to her so she was surprised when he reached for one of her hands and kissed the back of it. A soft smile slid across her face. She really did love the idiot…

They sat in a content silence for a while, him working on his application, and her watching the flock of ducks as they waddled around near the lake shore. Predictably, it didn't take long for the copper haired girl to become utterly bored again.

It was no fun just sitting here with nothing to do…although, there wasn't really anything to do elsewhere either…she was going to have to think of something to entertain herself.

The teen smiled devilishly. What better way to have fun and entertainment than to go back to her old stand-by of teasing her super shy boyfriend? Now…how to get the reaction she wanted…?

"Hey Paulie…"

Her boyfriend rubbed a finger across the back of her knuckles absently. "Hm?" He didn't look up from his papers so he didn't see the positively evil grin she was bestowing on him.

"If you died in the middle of sex what would you want your gravestone to say?"

The teen choked almost violently, looking up at her with red cheeks and wide eyes. "Say WHAT?!!"

The petite girl laughed. "How would you want them to describe your death if you-"

"I heard you the first time!!" He shouted to cut her off. The poor boy was blushing an almost fire engine red color, from the top of his forehead all the way down his neck. Nami gave him a charming smile. He was so cute.

"Why would you even…?" He knew she was just teasing him because she liked to see him squirm but…what the hell was he suppose to say to something like that?!

"Oh come on…" She leaned back onto her elbows, stretching across the table, and looking relaxed. "You've never thought about it?" Her eyes twinkled at him mischievously. "I think my gravestone would say, 'Death by sex: The risks of the high dive'…" She watched in amusement as he began choking again. "Or maybe something like, 'Death by sex: The fight for dominance'" She giggled at him. "What do you think?" She asked teasingly. "Which one fits me better?"

Paulie broke down into a coughing fit and she leaned over to pound him on the back, used to this reaction. "You…!" He gasped. She should really ease up…with how shy he was she might actually give him a heart attack someday. But…it was just so funny!!!

Nami leaned down so that when he looked up they were nose to nose. "How about, 'Death by sex: For the love of bondage'?"

Her boyfriend wind milled his arms as he tried to scoot back from her and then fell off the bench. Unable to contain herself any longer the copper haired teen burst into peels of laughter. She held her stomach and pounded one hand on the picnic table as she gasped for air, tears of mirth coming to her eyes. "I…! You…!" She rolled onto her back, still laughing hysterically, unable to even finish a sentence.

Paulie had stopped flailing on the ground and was just lying on his back, glaring daggers at his sweetheart as she continued her laughing fit at his expense. "You are an evil, evil woman." He said bluntly as he finally pushed himself into an upright position. "I hate you…" He muttered grumpily. Thankfully his blush had begun to fade…it seemed she had embarrassed him enough to be satisfied.

"I…," She took in a deep breath, controlling her laughter, and smiled down at him fondly. "I love you."

"You'd better!" He muttered, still frowning at her.

Still smiling angelically she reached down to help him back up, rolling herself back into an upright position and reaching for her back pack. As her embarrassed boyfriend resettled himself on the bench she pulled out the remains of her unfinished lunch, grabbed the orange, and dumped the rest back into her bag.

Paulie would sulk for a while and then forgive her, so in the mean time she began tossing the fruit into the air and catching it, the cheerful grin never leaving her face, and allowed him to go back to work on his application. Eventually she began peeling the orange, offering some to her still fuming sweetheart and giggling when he refused grumpily.

She knew she shouldn't but…

"What about-"

The blond knew her too well. As soon as she had begun to speak he grabbed an orange slice and shoved it into her mouth, forcing her to chew and swallow instead of taunt him. He glared at her and she relented. "Love you…" She said sweetly again. He didn't respond, but he did reach out and grab her hand again.

Smiling the beautiful girl lay back against the table again. Paulie was such an easy mark, but she loved him dearly, and loved that he put up with her in spite of her constant teasings.

She turned her face to the side to watch him work again, a tender smile on her face. "I love you." She repeated, feeling her affection for him swelling again.

He finally relented and looked back at her. Sighing, she could tell he had forgiven her, he leaned down and kissed her sweetly. "I love you too."


AN: Lol! So that's that. Just a little bit of funny fluff between the two. And just in case you're interested, I thought of the topic because it was a conversation two of my dearest friends and I had like...six years ago. xD It's become a common joke between us now and the idea of Nami and Paulie discussing it just made me laugh, which is why I decided to write it down. I may or may not do a couple of other inside jokes as stories...my best friends don't read/watch One Piece so they'll never see these and that makes it less fun. :(

Um...I think I'm rambling now, so I'm gonna go...clean my house like I was supposed to be doing. :P