2-8-10. This one-shot does not reflect my mood at all. I've been having a dandy ol' time lately, thanks for asking. But this was written a while ago, when I wasn't feeling quite so dandy, and I just wanted to post something. It was either this one or the equally as depressing one, so I figured I'd go with this one because it's lengthier. Which isn't really saying much. Anyway, I love this pairing. It's probably my favorite non-canon pairing, and yes that includes Dramione and Deamus. Oh, how I love Deamus. Reviews would make me just about the dandiest person alive, please and thank you!
Disclaimer: Not mine, yadda yadda yadda, if it was Harry would be Snape's son, yadda yadda yadda, and Harry's daughter's name would be Sheila (my name) instead of Lily, yadda yadda yadda. Yadda. Yadda. Okay, I'm done. (Yadda.)
I watch as she frolics in the rain, her arms open to the world, her laugh ringing through the frozen silence. She twirls and falls, pausing for a moment to throw her head back and enjoy the feeling of the rain against her skin. I watch her eyes twinkle, her face break into a wide smile. This is the happiest I have ever seen her.
I allow myself to submit to the tugging of the Pensieve, let it pull me back into reality. I grab another vial off the shelf and pour it into the stone basin, watching the liquid silver thread swirl into its depths. Then I plunge in, headfirst.
The memory is different. I walk down a dark, narrow hallway and open the door at the end of the corridor, momentarily blinded by the dazzling sunlight filling the room from the large windows on either side. When my eyes adjust and I finally see the scene before me, my breath catches in my throat.
She is beautiful. She nervously adjusts the long lace veil set perfectly on top of her red locks, which have been curled for the occasion. A traditional white gown hugs her body and sways slightly as she moves about the room, adding the finishing touches to her bride ensemble.
I watch as her eyes open in surprise and turn to look at the man standing behind me. He steps out of the shadows and starts slowly toward her, somber and silent. I know what is going to happen. I have watched this memory over and over again, trying to keep the end from happening. I know by the time he leaves the room, her green eyes will be flooded with tears. I make a move to stop him like I have every single instance before, but neither him nor the woman show any sign of acknowledgement that I am even there. This is his memory, his moment. All I can do is stand by helplessly and watch.
"Don't marry him." He has reached her now, and cautiously stretches out his arm to caress her cheek. She shies away.
"You can't tell me what to do." Her voice is indignant, but I hear it falter. The tears are coming, I know.
"I'm trying to stop you from making the biggest mistake of your life."
"I don't think it's a mistake."
"He's a jerk."
"You're the jerk!"
"Lily, listen to me."
"No, Severus, you listen to me. We haven't spoken for seven years. Seven years! You can't just show up on my wedding day and tell me I shouldn't get married! You have no right! I don't care if you hate James. I love him, and that's all that matters. I wish you would just learn to accept that."
"I can't," he says, his voice nothing more than a strangled whisper, "I can't."
"And why not?"
"Because, Lily . . ." he pauses for a moment, takes a deep breath, "because I'm in love with you."
The tears fall.
"Lily," he starts again. She pushes him away.
"I think it would be best if you just left, Severus."
"But, Lily –"
"Go!" Her shoulders shake with heavy sobs, and she turns away from him.
"Please, Severus," her voice now nothing more than a soft whisper, "please. Just go."
He leaves. I watch her lovingly for a moment, still beautiful even in distress. Then I am forced to follow him out of the room.
I once again let the familiar feeling rush over me as I exit the Pensieve, landing back in the room of Severus Snape. He is long gone now, no more alive than my mother and father, but he has stored his memories in his home at Spinner's End. There is a whole shelf dedicated to my mother.
I shift through the vials, reading each label. Lily and me in the park. Lily and me on our first day at Hogwarts. Lily and me at Christmastime. I have been through every one of them, experienced them as Snape had. I will watch them all again, another day, another time, possibly another life. But for now I leave, to go back home to my wife, my children, the ones I love. Lily Evans Potter would want me to.