PLEASE NOTE: This is rated M for a very good reason. This story is very DARK. If you can imagine it, drugs, physical and mental violence, abuseand rape along with thoughts/acts of suicide and murder, it's in here or going to be. Please understand that it's never my intention to offend anyone or contribute to negative triggers. I will also put this message at the beginning of chapters with specifically dark scenes.
Thanks everyone. Hope you all enjoy xx
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of its characters. No copyright infringement is intended.
"V moem mire spasenie prihodit v grobu."
In our world salvation only comes in a coffin.
(SKIP THIS SECTION TO NEXT BREAK IF YOU DON'T WANT SOME SECRETS REVEALED.)
This is a story about finding salvation when it's least expected, when you might not even know you need it and when the form it comes in isn't what you may have wanted. The story is told from a multitude of various points of view because each character is essential to understanding the story line, plot, and interactions with the other characters. It gives it a fun twist, to tell a story from the people who live it, as they live it through each other. Everything happens for a reason, and everyone is twisted together—and through their eyes we see it all unfold. There's A LOT of twists and turns, some that will be expected and some that will come out of left field.
Basically this is a story about Bella and Alice Swan, whose souls have been stolen—metaphorically—and their rise and fall to their own type of redemption. Bella and Alice are sisters, though not biologically. Both are dancers at the strip club Novolunie. Tragic events of their past thrust them into homelessness when they were just fourteen years old, the same year that they were thrown into the underground world of dirty money, sex, and drugs. They have an unbreakable bond and are each other's only reason for survival. But one night, when a bachelor party of seven shows up at the club, everything changes. What is the stable? And why would escaping cost Bella and Alice their lives? Will these two stolen souls find a way out of the storm? And when their bond is tested, in a way that neither anticipated, when secrets are revealed that pit sister against sister, will they survive?
Edward Cullen is a recent medical school graduate working in a busy Chicago hospital Emergency Room. He's had a very privileged upbringing, but yet he's dealt with depression and loss. A loss that has haunted him since he was seventeen years old. When he met Tanya Denali in college he thought that he had found everything he needed, but what he failed to realize was that sometimes you couldn't move on if you didn't face the sins of your past. How will a sin from his past and a sin from his present change him? How will he ever be able to fix the damage he's done and find his own happiness?
Jasper and Rosalie Whitlock moved to Chicago with their family when they were fourteen and twelve, respectively. They have a love-hate relationship that has lasted as long as they can remember. Both live together as roommates in a northern Chicago condo. Jasper is content in his life, but can't help feeling that something is missing. Rosalie has started drifting away from Jasper and he doesn't understand it. What secret is Rosalie hiding from Jasper, and what will happen once it's revealed? When Jasper meets a waitress at the strip club the night of Edward's bachelor party he can't get her out of his mind, but will he be able to sustain a relationship that is doomed from the beginning . . . one that could cost him his life?
Emmett McCarty is a bouncer at the club Novolunie. He's a laid-back guy who was thrown into the Russian Mafia's world of underground sex, dirty money, and drugs by accident. As an outsider he is given plenty of leeway; but leeway that forces him to stay, no matter what secrets he learns. Will he be able to deal with the weight of that on his conscience? What secrets is he privileged to? And what about the new dancer at the club that he starts dating, what is she hiding from him . . . or what is he hiding from her?
Tanya, Demetri, and Mike are all minor characters with MAJOR roles and their voices will be heard as the story progresses. Through their eyes we learn more about our major characters and we learn about interactions that help to weave everyone's stories together. How will their lives change and why are they so important?
Later on, as secrets are revealed and character motivations are discovered, other characters will be introduced—characters that can't be ignored, like Victoria, Alistair, and Jacob to say the least.
Disclaimer: The Vory is a real and operative organization within the Russian Mafia. To my knowledge and research, the organization is VERY underground and prestigious. For the sake of my story I've embellished a bit and taken liberties from my research into the Chicago Russian families of power and the legacy that is the Vory. Together I've created my own form of Mafia—once again these are liberties and facets of my crazy imagination.
"Seriously . . . is this necessary?" I asked him for the sixth time since exiting the car—his car—and more than likely the eighteenth time since leaving work. He drove here tonight; he wanted to make absolutely certain that I would have no excuse to leave early . . . or an excuse not to drink.
"No, Edward, it's not necessary, but it is customary. And you're just going to have to deal with it. Why don't you take a day off from brooding? Hell, you just might see that there is a world out there that might be worth your precious time. I have no idea how Tanya puts up with you," tonight's event coordinator said, shaking his wavy, dirty-blond head as we approached the bouncer at the front door of the dimly lit club. Jasper had been my best friend since he moved to Chicago from Texas when he was fourteen.
It was an awkward transition from the brightly lit parking lot to the dim building. But most of Chicago, this time of night, wasn't about the "bright lights." The only light coming from the club was from the open door but the huge bouncer blocked most of that light. If his face didn't scream authoritative he might have almost looked angelic with the light radiating all around him.
I was tired of this song and dance.
It was almost daily that I was reminded of just how lucky I was to have someone like Tanya. Just how much I didn't deserve her. And just how amazing and understanding she was. The thing was, I knew all of that. Not a day passed where I wasn't reminded of these facts, but it didn't change anything. We had made our choices. We knew all the facts. And still, even after everything that we have been through, here we were—faults and all.
"I need some identification," the massive boulder of a bouncer demanded.
His voice was low and the tendons and veins in his neck spoke along with his words. Threatening had nothing on the big brown-eyed behemoth guarding the door. Jasper quickly produced his wallet and nudged me to do the same.
"Alright, fellas, I don't need to remind you that this is a drinking establishment, so don't touch the girls. This is the only warning you get. Anything funny and I will remove you from the club." The veins in his neck throbbed with the threat and it looked like he actually cracked his neck. I gulped and Jasper pulled me through the door.
Shoving him as he dragged me through the entrance, I again felt the desperate urge to complain. But once we were through the door, whistling called to us. It was some of the guys from work. The triage nurse, Mike, and the transcriptionist, Eric, flagged us down. There were two other guys with them that I recognized from other outings but I didn't know their names; they didn't work at the hospital with Jasper and me. The smell of alcohol and at least twenty different female perfumes lingered in the thick fog of air that swirled around the club. I pinched the bridge of my nose.
This was going to be a long night.
I haven't been to many strip clubs in my life, but this one wasn't too different from the other ones. The first thing that grabs your attention is the throbbing music that makes your head spin. The girls were very attractive and many were tall and blonde. A leggy blonde turned toward Jasper and me briefly before turning away; she had three friends with her and they were all looking at our table like hungry wolves.
There was the standard stage with a bulb shape at the front and a curtain in the back. I couldn't tell what color the curtain might have been because at least three bright colored lights shined on it. There was a tall redhead dancing around the pole in the middle of the stage. She had just removed her top and her long curly red hair covered her breasts that were now exposed. It was a clever trick, she was topless but you honestly couldn't see anything under the long locks.
Next to the stage was a DJ booth and surrounding the stage were tables and chairs. There was a bar along the back wall and a set of tacky gold-plated double doors that led to somewhere that wasn't visible. Another massive behemoth guarded those doors and I wanted to roll my eyes. This was one of those types of clubs. I would just have a couple of drinks and leave. It would have been in all of our best interests to leave sooner rather than later. Who knew what sort of things went down here.
I followed Jasper to the leather booth that Mike, Eric, and their friends were at. They were waving their beer bottles in the air and hollering at red to move her curls. As we slipped into the booth both Jasper and I said our hellos to the guys.
A tall head of blond hair caught my attention and I groaned.
"Jasper, you have got to be kidding me . . ." I began, just in time to see the bastard wink and wave him over. Before I could finish speaking I was interrupted.
"Edward, I'll have you know that your mother is going to kill me when she finds out that we spent our night here," my father, Carlisle Cullen, said as he clenched Jasper's hand in a shake and clapped one hand on my shoulder with a good-humored laugh. Jasper joined him in the laugh.
"Dad, you didn't have to come. You really didn't have to come," I pleaded in the middle of a groan just as Carlisle flagged down a waitress.
"Nonsense, Edward. I wouldn't miss your bachelor party, and did you honestly expect anything else given that Jasper was planning it? I can't, however, stay long. I did promise your mother that I wouldn't stay out late. I believe she knows exactly where I was going." I sunk back into the leather seat and closed my eyes. This was beyond humiliating—not only was my father here but my mother most likely knew about it. Whatever happened to the sanctity of privacy?
Jasper and my father were engaged in a conversation about work while Mike and Eric kept hollering at the dancer, when a sweet melodic voice caused me to open my eyes.
"What can I get'cha, boys?"
Standing at the edge of our table was a petite girl who had spiky black hair and a beautiful face. Her big brown eyes were shaped by long lashes and suited her tiny nose and pink lips. Her smile practically took up her entire face and she seemed to twinkle with energy, making her look young, very young. She bounced from foot to foot and it was the bouncing that pulled my gaze lower. She was wearing a black bowtie and a white bra but it was the small, black, pleated skirt that didn't even cover the top of her thighs that drew my attention. It drew the attention of everyone at the table. Even Carlisle had to cough out and look the other way. The uniforms were, for lack of a better word, arousing. She just bubbled on as Jasper engaged her in a conversation about the drinks. She smiled and flirted heavily with him.
"What do you like?" she asked as she leaned over the table and stuck her butt out higher in the air. Her face was inches from Jasper's and he was eating it up.
"A . . . a whiskey sour, darlin'," he coughed out and I couldn't help but choke back a laugh. It wasn't unless he was nervous or ruffled that his southern accent came out and his attempts at flirting under these conditions were hilarious. She winked provocatively at him and turned her attention to Carlisle.
"And for you, gorgeous?" Her hips swayed in the air and Jasper couldn't tear his eyes away from them. I found the whole situation quite entertaining. And for the first time all night I was smiling. Carlisle ordered a water, reminding everyone that he wouldn't be staying long. She smiled genuinely at him before turning to me.
"How about you, sexy?" She asked, and before I could answer Jasper blurted out that this was my bachelor party. "Really?" she asked as she swayed more. "Well then, boys, I think we will have to make this the best bachelor party ever then. What do you boys think?"
And my traitor of a best friend since I was in high school smiled wider at her and agreed profusely. I rolled my eyes and began to tell her that it really wasn't necessary, but she was already rambling on about lap dances, private attention, and bringing more girls over. She spoke so quickly and so profusely that I couldn't keep up with her energy and just was amazed that she could have full conversations without pausing to breathe.
She finished taking our orders and said that she would "take care" of us all night; the innuendo and implication of those words didn't escape me. And for the thousandth time that night I wondered what the hell I was even doing there. This wasn't like me at all; I didn't even find this sort of thing entertaining.
"What's your name, beautiful?" Jasper asked her and I sat gaping; he was really enamored with her.
I didn't know whether to feel sorry or excited for him. Jasper rarely showed any interest in girls, especially any interest immediately. He was the type of person to believe in the hype of soul mates and the "one and only." Jasper would never pay any mind to a female unless he believed that she would have that potential. And I was one hundred percent certain that this girl's flirting was a job requirement. He didn't need to set his loving and longing heart up for this type of letdown.
"Pixie. And what's yours?" Her answer just solidified my choice in feeling sorry for him. He was setting himself up to get hurt and hard.
"Jasper," he replied. She smiled and ran her hand down the length of his cheek before pulling his face toward hers. She let her lips run up his jaw before she whispered something into his ear. Jasper's skin goosed and she giggled before she skipped off toward the bar.
Both my father and I sat with wide eyes at the deer-in-the-headlights expression that painted itself across Jasper's face.
"What did she say?" Both Carlisle and I asked quickly. But Jasper didn't answer.
She returned with our drinks and kept them coming at a steady pace throughout the night. Jasper tried to keep her longer and never took his eyes off of her all night. She brought other girls with her to the table and the boys were excited. Before too long, Carlisle excused himself for the night and reminded me that this Saturday would be the big day; two days away. I told him I was ready and that I couldn't be happier with Tanya. Not long after he left, the lights to the stage announced the night's highlighted dancer. The music in the background was eerie and mysterious, something you would imagine in a Vincent Price parody.
"Alright, fellas, get out your dollar bills! Welcome to the main stage, the mysterious, exotic, luscious . . . Twilight," the announcer said as a girl made her way to the middle of the stage. She was wearing a long black hooded cape that covered everything but her legs that she used to provocatively walk out.
I rolled my eyes, her whole act was seriously theatrical. Jasper turned to me and mouthed, "Twilight?" I shook my head; I agreed that it was a strange stage name. Just as she stepped up, Mike and Eric started hollering louder in the middle of a hushed conversation between the two. I could only make out bits and pieces of what they were saying, but from what I surmised, Mike claimed to have "had" her. I rolled my eyes more. I knew this was one of those types of clubs.
Pixie returned to the table and brought some more drinks, drinks that I was certain I didn't order. I knew that it was Jasper's intention to at least make sure I was tipsy tonight but the fact that he wanted any excuse to keep bringing Pixie back to the table meant that we were ordering drinks faster than we could consume them.
She again leaned over the table and engaged in a deeply flirtatious conversation with Jasper. I had to hand it to her, she knew how to milk the one that paid her the most attention. Instead of watching the train wreck that would be Jasper's hopes, I turned my focus back to the stage.
Twilight was using her cape alluringly. She would taunt the crowd with it over her bare shoulders as she tossed her bra off from under it. Her long brown hair was curled and swept to the side. It framed her pale skin beautifully. She had deep chocolate eyes that complimented her face and hair perfectly. She was wearing bright red lipstick and it only made her that much more striking. For some unexplained reason she was now the only thing I could focus on. I watched with meticulous detail as she swayed her hips or flipped her hair. I noticed every curve, freckle, and dimple of her tantalizing flesh. And when she finally dropped the cape, my breath got stuck in my throat.
She was breathtaking and not in the plastic way that many of the other girls tonight were. This girl was completely natural and the curve of her small waist and breasts were like sirens to me. Shockingly, I licked my lips. I was completely confused by my reaction to her. I had dated many beautiful women and Tanya was nothing short of stunning: tall, strawberry blonde, tan, legs that any man would beg to have wrapped around his waist. The first time I saw Tanya I thought she was gorgeous and I knew I was a blonde man. But now I didn't know if I believed that. No brunette had ever caught my attention; no woman had ever taken my breath away. But this petite brunette stole the air from my lungs. I wanted her to have it; it made me feel like we had a connection if she had something of mine.
Jasper nudged me and had a glimmer in his eyes that meant my drooling didn't go unnoticed. Soon Pixie was smiling wider and giggling with Jasper as if they were in on a joke that they wouldn't share.
"She's gorgeous, right?" Pixie said.
I didn't turn towards her but I think I might have mumbled an answer. I heard whispering off to my right from Jasper and Pixie and then she scurried off. The sounds of her clicking heels turned my attention to her departure and I watched her skip toward the guard by the gold double doors. I then directed my attention back toward the stage. I couldn't stand to be detoured for too long.
Twilight was crawling her way toward bills that men held out and giving them specific attention, spreading her thighs in front of them and letting them put the bills in her mouth. My blood boiled. I couldn't decide what upset me more: that they were using her or that I wasn't. As she made her way around the men and bills, I couldn't stop watching the way her chocolate waves caressed across her creamy skin or how she licked her red tinted lips or how she ran her red nails over the skin of her thighs or lower stomach. All too soon she was leaving the stage and I had to physically tense to keep myself from getting up and following her.
Jasper and Mike were engaged in a conversation across the table, all the while trying to include me but I couldn't help but think about the beautiful brunette that left the stage. I thought about what could have possessed her to work in this type of place. I wanted to know what her name really was and how old she was. I wanted her to tell me a story about her childhood and scraping her knees learning to ride a bike. But most importantly, and most condemningly, I wanted to know what it felt like to run my hands over her milky skin just like she did. I wanted to watch her hips sway over me like they did over the stage. I wanted to hear what her soft moans sounded like and if she screamed when she came. A hand crawling up my knee brought me from my thoughts. As a reflex I grabbed the culprit roughly.
It was a small wrist and the surprise brought my eyes quickly to the deep pair of chocolate eyes that stared back at me. She bit her lip as she tried to pull her small wrist out of my clutching grip. But surprise kept me holding on to her and then desire to not let her go. Her small wrist felt perfect in my hand, warm, soft, and tingling. It made me want to touch more of her desperately and so I did. My hand caressed up her forearm, but in the loosening grip she managed to pull her arm out of mine. Her deep brown eyes stared into mine intensely. I couldn't make out her emotions from the fogged vision; there were too many emotions brewing in those eyes. She coughed quietly before speaking.
"Follow me, baby," she said. Her voice was soft and seductive. It reminded me of her eyes, her hair. Chocolate—milky, smooth, and delicious. I licked my lips and got up. I would have followed her to hell if she asked. I wasn't even aware of anyone around me. Nothing seemed to matter then but her and I was shocked that she was right in front of me leading me with her.
She walked confidently in front of me and I noticed that she had the cape back on. The cheers of Mike and giggles of Pixie rang in my ear as I followed closely behind the mysterious beauty. She led me to the gold doors and said something quietly to the massive man guarding them before turning back toward me. Her tiny hand found mine and she intertwined our fingers as she pulled me through the double doors.
A million thoughts ran through my mind as she stopped at a single gold door down a hallway that had many doors. I thought about Tanya and about Jasper, about the Pixie and what Mike had said, about her and my initial disgust with the type of establishment this was. But mostly I thought about what I couldn't deny I wanted more than anything at that moment, what I hoped would happen once we crossed that threshold and what I wouldn't regret no matter what. I thought about the type of man I had just become in less than two hours. A man I wouldn't recognize at all. A man who threw every moral and standard I held myself to out the window the second I saw her creamy skin and chocolate eyes. Diseases, infidelity, right, wrong. . . none of it mattered now. And as much as a part of me wanted to blame this on the dozens of drinks I shoved down my throat, I knew that inebriation had nothing to do with it.
The room wasn't very big and held the same low lit ambiance as the rest of the club, but there were no tables in here. Just big cushion bags on the floor, a cabinet and no windows. There was a red theme to the room. She let go of my hand and walked to the cabinet to pull out a box. From the dark wood cabinet she turned toward me and raised an eyebrow.
"Why don't you sit down, baby?" It was a question but she said it as an order. A flat smile appeared on her face as she tilted her head toward one of the massive floor cushions when I still stood there. Shaking my head of my stupidity, I quickly sat and her flat smile lifted slightly at the edges. It was then that I realized I hadn't seen her smile yet. She hadn't smiled all night; she didn't look unhappy, but she didn't smile either.
She played with the string at the top of her cape and it flittered to her feet. All she wore underneath was the same pair of black lace boy shorts she wore on stage. Whatever she pulled out from the box she stuffed into the back of her underwear and sauntered over toward the cushion.
"Your friend said you liked the show. He asked Pixie if I would be willing to give you a private dance. Would you like that?" she purred.
My lack of an answer was read loud and clear. Yes.
When she reached the foot of the cushions she began to sway her hips in front of me. She danced provocatively to music that I couldn't hear and bent over so that I had full view of her luscious lace in front of me. For the life of me I couldn't get words out of my mouth. I didn't know if I should speak to her or not. So instead I just watched as she taunted and tempted me beyond reason. My jeans were strained against my hardening erection as I watched her move with fluidity. Her luscious scent left my mouth watering as it drifted towards me. Strawberries—sweet, juicy, moist, tangy. I licked my lips.
After excruciating minutes of torture watching her run her hands over her hips and breasts, she knelt down at my feet that were extended in front of me. Slowly she began to crawl up them until she was able to straddle me. Then she ground succulently down on my hard length with her hips. Soft moans escaped her still red tinted lips and she grabbed my arms to hold herself steady as she leaned back so that I had a perfect view of her long neck. I wanted so badly to kiss it, to run my tongue over her collarbone, over her small round breasts that pointed out toward me. My head rolled back in euphoria as a groan escaped my tight lips at her grinding. I wanted to grab her hips and move her in a rhythm that suited me.
Using her hands that were on my arms she pulled herself back up to me and ran her tongue up my neck and to my ears. My hands clenched in tight fists at my sides. The words that the bouncer said kept running through my mind as a chant to remind me that if I messed this up, I would lose her. And I wanted to prolong this as much as I could.
"Do you like that, baby?" she purred more in my ear before taking my earlobe between her lips and nibbling on it. I hummed in response. "Do you want me to do more?" And with that question she ran one fingernail over the length of my straining erection. My eyes bolted open at the erotic stimulation; I knew what she meant and I knew what I wanted. This was where my choice would be final and I couldn't turn back. It was surreal how quickly the night had progressed and how this moment with her seemed to eclipse every memory or thought I had about the evening. Almost sensing my hesitation, she purred in my ear again. "Do you want to touch me?"
She pulled my fist from my side and unclenched my fingers before bringing them up to her mouth. Taking my first finger into her warm, wet mouth, she sucked and nibbled on it enticingly before bringing it down her chest. She moved the wet finger around her dark pink nipple as it pebbled at our touch and she moaned. The sound of that moan sent shivers down my body straight to my cock. And I couldn't take her teasing anymore. I roughly grabbed her breast and squeezed it in my hand and brought my other hand to her other breast. Her dark brown eyes widened even though I knew she had to be expecting that type of response.
Pulling and kneading her breasts I brought her closer to me. "I want to be inside you," I all but growled. Lust had overtaken every ounce of control I had and I couldn't deny what I wanted anymore. I pinched her hard nipples between my thumb and forefinger as I leaned toward her neck and ran my tongue up her throat.
"I want you to be inside of me too, baby," she purred as she rolled her head back and gave me better access to her neck. I kissed and sucked my way up it before her hands came over mine that were still pinching and rolling her nipples. She stilled my hands and raised her head to look at me in the eyes. Her intense stare spoke more than her words ever could.
"It's going to cost more, baby, five-fifty more. Is that ok?" I nodded but couldn't peel my eyes away from hers. I realized then why I couldn't make out the emotions in her eyes before; it was because she hid them behind a curtain of certain death. That's what it was; there was a type of death to her eyes. And I hated myself more in that second for not caring enough to stop. I wanted her and I wanted her now in whatever capacity she would let me have her.
Her hands let go of mine and she put them on my chest as she started to unbutton my collared shirt. I dropped my hands from her breasts to let her push the shirt off and then I grabbed the hem of my undershirt and pulled it over and off me. I wrapped my arms around her small back bringing her flush against my bare chest. The feeling of her warm, bare skin meeting mine ran succulently down my body and I wanted more. I needed more.
I crashed my lips to hers and greedily forced them open to mine. I wanted to taste her.
Quickly she pushed on my chest and I opened my eyes to see hers wide. She all but stopped my assault of her mouth.
"Lay back, baby," she said softly against my lips. I groaned when she pulled my bottom lip in between her teeth. I let her lay me back as I propped myself up on my elbows and watched her kiss and lick her way down my chest. My muscles tensed as she blew warm breaths over the patch of hair just above the low waistline of my jeans. She tauntingly unbuckled my jeans and pulled them down along with my boxers, freeing my painfully hard erection.
Her small hands grabbed my balls and tugged on them gently while her tongue ran the length of my engorged cock. I clenched my jaw and closed my eyes. A deep moan clawed out of my throat when she wrapped her warm mouth around the tip of my cock. She teased the hole of my tip with her tongue before taking me as deep as she could go. Her soft hums sent vibrations down my thighs to my toes and I pushed my hips up toward her, needing more.
"Fuck," I hissed through my teeth. The sweet sounds of her slurping and moans had my legs trembling as I kept thrusting my hips along with her strokes. All too soon, she pulled off and I opened my eyes.
I watched as she pulled a small package from the back of her underwear and opened the crinkling wrapping. It suddenly made sense, what she had removed from the box in the cabinet. And it didn't escape my notice that she knew this would happen long before I asked her. Then she proceeded to roll the condom over my willing cock and I again didn't care about anything else. She stood up and winked as she pushed her underwear off her hips and kicked them away from her with her feet on the floor.
I took in the sight of her, completely bare to me for the first time, and drowned in the glisten off her bare pussy lips. I licked my lips subconsciously and watched as she climbed back up me and positioned herself over my erection. The tip grazed her entrance as she straddled me. Finally, torturing me no more, she dropped down on my stiff cock. I thrust up to meet her and she began to ride me slowly, succulently. My eyes rolled into the back of my head.
"Fuck, you're so wet . . . shit," I groaned out as she slowly lifted all the way off my cock and left the tip lingering near her entrance before talking my full length back into her completely. It was fucking amazing and torturing at the same time.
"Only for you, baby," she said.
I grabbed her hips and guided her up and down my cock in a rhythm I liked because that slow shit wasn't cutting it right now. The tension was already building and when she leaned back elongating her torso and spreading her breasts to me, I nearly lost it. I rose from lying back to meet her and wrapped my arms around her back as I pulled one nipple into my mouth. When I bit it she screamed and I smirked haughtily. I continued sucking and kissing her soft flesh.
Soon both our thrusts were erratic and I kept pumping into her. The building pressure was about to boil over. And she kept bouncing up and down on my cock and I wanted to release so badly, but she wasn't anywhere near ready to come. I wiggled my hand between our tight bodies and started to tease her clit with my thumb. I needed her to finish with me.
"Come with me . . . fuck," I began, breathless, and abruptly she stopped moving on top of me. She brought her head back to face me and it was the first time I recognized an emotion in her deep chocolate eyes. Confusion. She bit her bottom lip and narrowed her eyes. I couldn't take the fact that she stopped moving above me and I thrust harder from under her, but she just kept staring at me in confusion and something that looked like shock. It didn't make sense.
"I can't get off unless you get off too . . . fuck . . . come with me," I hissed, as I rubbed her clit more frantically while thrusting faster into her. Her eyes dropped a bit and the confusion didn't leave them before she closed them tightly. Her teeth bit into both her lips before she let her head roll to the back of her shoulders and she started to move again above me. Soon we were both panting and moving frantically.
I pinched her clit just as I couldn't wait any longer, and she screamed and trembled above me as I pumped my release into her. Both our thighs were shaking as I slowed my thrusts, and instead of bouncing above me, she circled her hips. I laid back and brought her with me so that we could both catch our breaths. My hand went to her small head and I could hear her strained breathing over me. I ran my hands along the length of her arms and rubbed soothing circles along them. The sweat that glistened off our bodies made her sticky.
"Baby, thank you, that was amazing." She placed a kiss on my chest and sat up. I couldn't speak well enough to form any type of response even though I knew what I wanted to say.
I sat up with her and brought my hands to my face, trying to rub my eyes and the crease in my forehead at her lie. It wasn't amazing, not for her; she faked it. There hasn't been one time that I can think of that I hadn't got my partner off. And I didn't like that she was lying to me about it. Just as I was about to rub my hands over my face and tell her that she didn't have to lie, I noticed something grimy on my hands; it felt thick. I looked at them and realized it was makeup.
What the hell?
I ran my fingers over my inner palm, rubbing the weird substance on my hands. When she caught on to what was puzzling me, she tried to scurry away from me. I quickly grabbed her wrist and brought her arm to my face trying to see where the makeup came from. Then I saw it.
The indistinguishable bruises, the scars . . . the track marks. She yanked her arm back quickly and asked for her money. Disgustedly, I grabbed my wallet and pulled out a wad of bills and tossed them to her. I didn't even bother looking at how much they were.
She steeled her resolve and bent over to pick them up. A deafening sigh escaped me and bounced off the walls. I shook my head as I watched her grab at the money. Without looking up, she spoke to me.
"Don't you dare fucking judge me." The soft and seductive tone from her voice was gone. Her shoulders rolled back and her red fingernails clawed at the bills on the floor. Her anger and disdain seeped out of every pore of her body. When she spoke again it was dark. "Aren't you supposed to be getting married?"
My breath caught in my throat. She was right; I had no right to play the self-righteous card. I shuffled off the cushion onto the floor and grabbed one of her wrists in my hand.
"I'm sorry. I just . . . I don't . . . why?" I couldn't even imagine how to formulate words; so many thoughts were running through my mind. "It could kill you."
It was the only thought that kept coming back to the forefront of my mind. She was hurting herself. Her dark chuckle pricked up my spine and I let her yank her arm from my grasp. She walked back up to me and put my chin in her little hand and pulled it up to look at her from where she stood over me.
"Don't pretend to care about me, baby," she all but spat the endearment at me. The sickening way her hand caressed my jaw wasn't loving or caressing at all. "Get out of here." She threw my face away from her and went to her lace underwear to put them back on.
"What's your name?" I coughed out; I asked the only thing that mattered to me then. I could hear her cluck her throat and turned harshly away from me. "Please tell me your name?"
"Don't come back here anymore," she said as she went to the cabinet and grabbed her cape. Wrapping it around herself she stopped and spoke to the wall. "I don't need you to fucking worry about me." Then she stormed out the door and let it slam behind her.
I was left in the room completely bare—literally—and it had never been truer. Nothing made sense to me anymore. I didn't even know who I was; I had changed so drastically in such a short amount of time. And I couldn't help the disgust that built up in me.
Disgust with myself for hurting Tanya and not being what she deserved.
Disgust with her for loving me regardless.
Disgust with the beautiful addict for needing to supply her habit.
Disgust with her for faking her orgasm; but most of all disgust in myself for not caring.
I didn't care that she faked it with me. I didn't care that her enjoyment was second to mine. I didn't care that her eyes were lifeless and bleak. I didn't care that she had a drug problem. I didn't care that Tanya loved me. I didn't care that I broke a promise to her. I didn't care that I had become a pathetic excuse for a man in less than one night. I didn't care that I had every reason to want to stay away from the mysterious beauty.
Because it didn't matter; I didn't want to stay away.
And that disgusted me more than anything.
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