Sasuke had been beyond infuriated when he learned his brother had been spotted in Konoha. It just added salt to the festering wound that his perfect brother had been looking for the dobe of all people. The DOBE! Not him, not his brother, the only survivor and avenger of the Uchiha clan, but the fucking Dobe.

He didn't care that his own sensei had been placed into a coma; he didn't care about the ramifications that his (unarguably) powerful brother was after his genin teammate. All of those rational thoughts were lost in a haze of hate and his irrational thoughts of revenge.

He left Konoha quickly, not bothering to stop to ask permission or give notice. If he had been anyone else then a Uchiha, his actions would have been seen as abandonment to his village and hunter nin would have been sent after him. He was lucky his clan's name had saved him once again.

He ran quickly, not bothering to stop to rest but instead he quickly followed the trail of eye witnesses until he came to a small gambling town. He questioned everyone, until he was led to a small inn where he quickly barked questions to the inn keeper. Getting confirmation that a 'young yellow haired boy traveling with a white haired gentleman' was in room 3, he didn't even let the keeper finish his sentence before he shot up the stairs and banged on the door.

O0o0o Meanwhile 0o0o0o

Not sensing any chakra on the other side of the door, Naruto allowed his illusion to drop as Nao took an appearance once more. He figured it would be easier to cover their tracks if Naruto was seen as little as possible. Besides, it was known that Nao was doing a long term mission so being seen at a local inn was easily dismissible and would better improve his back story if he occasionally popped up.

The door was knocked upon again, harder this time and impatient.

"Yara yara, I'm opening it now, be patient." Naruto exhaled in aspiration.

Unlocking the top bolt and turning the handle, Naruto swung the door outwards, his eyes widening in surprise.


Sasuke wanted to scream in frustration. On the other side of the door stood no other then an elderly gentleman, brittle and skinny with age and his no doubt grandson of corn yellow hair, blinking owlishly at Sasuke.

Not even giving an explanation, Sasuke shot out of the hotel, beginning his pursuit again.


"…Fish?" Naruto muttered confusedly as he stared at the tall, blue, shark-like man in front of him.

"Oi, Itachi! I think you made a mistake, this can't be him. He's too old." The man's voice sounded garbled, as if he was under water.

Following the fish-man's line of sight, his eyes connected with a tall man – his skin was pale and flawless, with long raven hair swept back in a ponytail and stress lines framing his black eyes. Long lashes blinked at him slowly as a hand with painted nails came through his coat's opening, resting there. Both of his new companions sported slashes through their forehead protectors, indicating them to be missing-nin.

He would have to tread carefully.

"Ah. How strange…Uzumaki Naruto entered this inn, but he is not here." The man's, Itachi Naruto assumed, looked at him more closely before his eyes turned red, the famed sharingan spun at Naruto. "It is not a genjutsu."

Itachi shifted from slightly, turning to look completely at Naruto.

"My associate and I are looking for Uzumaki Naruto. Do you know where he is?"

"Uzumaki…Naruto…Perhaps, what does he look like?"

Itachi's companion shifted impatiently, "Let's go Itachi, this is a waste of time."

"Patience Kisame, we've lost our lead anyways," Itachi monotoned.

"Yara yara, so rude." Naruto huffed, shifting to lean on the doorway as the sound of tinkling bells chimed gently with his actions. His black kimono with burnt orange flowers shifted with his movements.

"Whatever. You look like Uzumaki, blond, blue eyed, tan, three whisker marks on his cheeks." Kisame rattled of impatiently, the large bundled he held in his hands tapped the floor lightly as he spoke.

"Oro? I look like this boy? Maybe I am him, hmm?" Naruto teased, a small grin crossing his face.

Kisame scoffed, "Useless."

Itachi watched the exchange, his face cold and unmoving.

"Perhaps you were correct Kisame, let's go" he turned, ready to move out before he stopped, glaring at the hallway.

"Ah, it seems unwelcome company is approaching." Naruto observed. "Why don't you come inside to avoid any…unwanted encounters?" Naruto suggested lightly as he moved out of the doorway in a welcoming gesture.

Itachi hesitated, staring down at the hallway before nodding.

"Eh?" Kisame questioned, "Itachi what –"

"Kisame." Itachi warned without words.

"Che, fine whatever." Kisame complained as they both entered Naruto's room.

Just in the nick of time as Sasuke came barreling up the stairs seconds after the door clicked shut.


"Why don't you two hide in a bathroom for a minute, hmm?" Naruto suggested as his door was once again pounded upon.

Not bothering to acknowledge the suggestion both moved towards the only other door in the room.

The pounding on the door began anew. Rolling his eyes in annoyance, Naruto yanked the door open.

"What?!" he snapped impatiently, startling the small Uchiha who's arm was still raised to begin his bashing again.

Sasuke eyed the man before him; he recognized him as a friend of Naruto's but had never been formally introduced to the man.

"Where's Naruto?" He demanded harshly.

"Ma ma, Naruto sure is popular today." He muttered, once again leaning on the doorway. "You're the second person today who's asked after him."

Sasuke's eyes turned sharp, "I don't have time for this. I'm looking for Itachi."

"Itachi eh? Who's that, your lover?" Naruto cruelly teased, an ugly smile on his demonically beautiful face.

"Don't insult me!" Sasuke snarled. "That man…killed my whole clan in one night! I will avenge them, where is he?!"

"Ohhhh, he killed your whole clan and you think you're powerful enough to beat him? You? A mere genin?" Naruto's face became colder, "Pathetic. Go away Sasu-chan, you're boring me. Naruto isn't here, he's busy training with Jiraiya, becoming stronger while you're wasting your time and the time of other's with your foolishness."

"Whore…" Sasuke snarled, making a move towards his kunai pouch.

Naruto's eyes turned into foxlike slits, a truly cold smile stretched on his face. His hand reared back and harshly slapped the Uchiha heir across his face, a loud crack and a reddening imprint on Sasuke's pale skin was left in the wake of his movements.

"You are a child; a spoiled, useless child who can't be bothered to see anything that doesn't fit in your sad little world. You're pathetic, not even capable of seeing that there are those out there who suffer worse then you but manage fine, clinging to the past like some foolish girl with a crush." Naruto grabbed the back of Sasuke's shirt, lifting the stunned Uchiha up to his face. "You're doing exactly what you're brother wants," Naruto whispered coldly, before dropping Sasuke as if he was infected.

"Take him home, he's wasted enough time and may have just endangered my own mission, the little fool." Naruto spat, staring at the window where Gai was waiting to make his entrance.

Sasuke stared at the floor, cheek red and hot and his eyes sightless. Gai sighed, crawling through the window and picking up the child. He nodded at Naruto before leaving towards the stairwell.

Huffing in annoyance, Naruto closed and locked his door for hopefully the final time.

"Your brother is annoying." He informed Itachi.

"Hn." Itachi acknowledged, "Foolish otouto."

"Come Kisame, we're leaving." Itachi turned for the door.

"Uchiha Itachi and his partner, Hoshigaki Kisame of the Akatsuki" Naruto hummed, causing both aforementioned people to freeze, "An organization of S-ranked missing-nin who's main focus seems to be to obtain and abstract the biju from their jinchuriki." Naruto continued, picking at his nails.

"So, you do know of us." Itachi stated, turning around fully.

"Especially of you Itachi," Naruto smiled his devil's smile, bells sounded as he gracefully stepped into Itachi's personal boundaries.

"Practically forced by Konoha's council and Danzo to slaughter your whole clan, and yet you still sacrifice for them and your precious Otouto." Naruto curled a finger around Itachi's hair, a more coy smile emerging.

"Such loyalty and love, such a tragic hero." Itachi made his move, his hand shooting out from his jacket and wrapping around Naruto's throat.

"Oh Hoooo," Kisame chortled, "looks like you've done it now."

Itachi's eyes began to wildly spin, preparing to use Tsukuyomi on the Konoha-nin before him.

"They're dead." Naruto whispered out, "all but Danzo is dead, and he's soon to follow." Naruto's smile became more blood thirsty, "they screamed so well."

Kisame chuckled wildly, "I like his style Itachi. We should keep him, especially if he can ruffle you so well."

"What do you hope to gain from this?" Itachi questioned, voice even and plain, his eyes fading back to black.

"A trade," Naruto smiled as Itachi released his throat. "I wish an audience with Akatsuki; I will discuss my terms there."

"Very well, I will contact Leader about your request." Itachi acknowledged, before both him and Kisame shushined away.

Waiting for their chakra signatures to completely disappear, Naruto transformed into his younger appearance. Apparently Inari's luck was on his side, for not 5 minutes later the Toad Hermit had returned, drunk and barely able to stand up right as he fell face first into the bed.

Naruto rolled his eyes at the drunken mess, face turned towards the moonlight, a demonic open-mouthed grin reflected in the shadow's of his face.


Jiraiya and Naruto visited a seemingly endless amount of gambling villages. An opportunity that Naruto took hold of – he would often henge himself into an older, nondescript man or woman before entering the gambling den. Apparently Inari's luck applied to gambling, as he would win whatever he was playing, be it slots or cards, without even trying.

He quickly accumulated a small fortune which he immediately invested into land, businesses and placed the rest into a bank account. He was quickly building up quite a fortune thanks to said investments.

When Jiraiya wasn't boozing or being a man-whore, he did teach Naruto what he could. He taught his young apprentice his strange form of taijutsu and was beginning to teach Naruto the basics of sealing techniques. Other times Naruto would occupy himself by talking to the local trees, finding comfort in their wildness.

Sighing, Jiraiya and Naruto entered yet another gambling town, still looking for the legendary sucker. Rolling his eyes as Jiraiya became distracted by another pretty face; Naruto took a chance to look around the village.

The walls were made of stone and built up high, a sign of this town's wealth. The local Lord's house was located in the center, marked by its obviously larger size and beauty.

Turning to look at his companion, Naruto realized he had been ditched…again. Jiraiya was nowhere to be found, no doubt chasing after the pretty thing he saw earlier. Naruto huffed, glad he found women sexually unappealing.

Wondering around, he searched for a place to eat only to run across something he'd never seen before.

A pig. A pig with a pearl necklace, maroon vest and bandage wrappings to act like a shirt.


Naruto stared at the pig, the pig stared at Naruto.






"Um, hi?" Naruto finally offered.

"Buhi", the pig stated, seemingly waltzing up to Naruto before sitting down.

"…are you lost?" Naruto asked, ruffling his hair in a nervous gesture.

"Buuuuhi" the pig muttered sadly, eyes tearing up.

"…" what the fuck am I supposed to do? Naruto thought as he stared at the pig.

"Mah…want to get something to eat?" Naruto offered hesitantly.

"Buhi!" the pig exclaimed happily, a happy light lit up in its teary eyes.

"Let's go then." Naruto muttered, as he lifted the pig up into his arms.

It didn't take long for Naruto to locate a ramen stand, ordering a miso for himself and a vegetable for his pig companion. The pig dug in gratefully, apparently very hungry as it stuffed its whole face into the bowl and began slurping away. Naruto himself began to slurp at the noodles, enjoying the salty broth.

O0o0o0 Several hours later o0o0o0o

Naruto and the pig had become quick friends. The pig was smart, cute and kinda funny, which was a strange considering it was a –pig-.

They were currently visiting a nearby park which held a small pond, complete with dock that they sat on, Naruto's bare feet trailing the water.

"Tonton?! Tonton?!" a young woman's voice sounded from the park's entrance. "Oh Tsunade-sama, what if we can't find her?" the young woman, with black hair and a battle-style kimono stood next to none other than Tsunade, the Legendary Sucker.

Fucking perfect.


"Thank you again for looking after Tonton Naruto!" Shizune, Tsunade's attendant bowed formally.

"It was no problem; she's so cute after all." Naruto waved it away, scratching the blushing Tonton behind a little ear.

"So what brings you into town, Naruto?" Shizune asked, eyeing his Leaf headband.

"Funny you should ask, I'm here with Jiraiya looking for Tsunade actually." Naruto looked pointedly at the blond senin. "Today must be my lucky day."

"I'd say gaki," Jiraiya said as he stepped out of the shadows. "Why don't we go have a drink? My treat." The steal in his voice made it a command, more than a question.


"I refuse." Tsunade stated plainly. "I'm not going back to that graveyard of a village."

Tsunade had taken the news of Orochimaru's death surprisingly well, and had shown nearly no emotion at the mention of her old sensei's injuries let alone that of her village.

"Sarutobi has promised that upon your return you will become head of a new program that focuses on training and implementing medic-nin into squads along with paying off your debts." Jiraiya tried to negotiate.

Shizune looked anxiously at her master, wanting her to take the offer.

Tsunade merely scoffed, turning her head away and drinking her cup of sake in one go.

Jiraiya's frown grew deeper, Shizune shuffled in her seat nervously as the air grew tense.

Finally Jiraiya sighed, his plans to get Tsunade to return peacefully in shambles. He opened his mouth to attempt his final tactic when his darling apprentice decided to open his large trap.

"What, you scared, Obachan?" Naruto interrupted rudely.

"Oba..chan?", Tsunade practically ground out, her eyebrow ticking madly.

"Pft, don't try to hide it. You have to be around the same age the Ero-senin and he's practically ancient." Naruto stated plainly.

"Why you…" Tsunade stood up, fisting shaking.

"Tsunade-sama" Shizune tried to calm her mentor down.

"Coward." Naruto hissed out. "You're life hasn't been half that bad, but you just keep running away, like some child."

Tsunade blinked, seeing the image of her dead brother and lover overlap Naruto's for a moment before shaking herself out of it.

"That village is just a dead end, the sooner you realize it the better." Tsunade commented bitterly.

"Every place is a dead end, but I choose to be surrounded by home when I die instead of alone, surrounded by strangers who are waiting to feast on your corpse after your last breath." Naruto levelly said, returning Tsunade's stare.

Tsunade's breath hitched, before a smirk twitched at the corners of her mouth.

"Tell you what kid, how about a bet?"

"Against the Legendary Sucker? Why not? I win and you come back."

"…and if you lose you give me all your money and promise never to me a ninja."

"Deal" Naruto smirked confidently even as Jiraiya moaned in agony and Shizune strangled sound of denial.


One hit, that's all. He just had to land one hit on her, and she promised only to use on finger. No problem at all.

"Listen gaki," Jiraiya whispered to Naruto. "She might not look like much but she's a master of chakra control. She can gather a large amount in her fist and release it all at once giving her devastating strength…even from one finger."

"Got it, Ero-senin."

"…I hope she kills you." Jiraiya muttered sulkily.

"Ready?!" Shizune shouted nervously between the two who were across from each other in a deserted street. "Hajime!"

Tsunade didn't move, even as Naruto created five shadow clones. They rushed the senin and were quickly dealt with, but Naruto used the cloud of smoke to his advantage and quickly hid.

"Not bad gaki…" Tsunade muttered, "but not good enough!" she shouted as she jumped away, Naruto landing right where she used to be, complete Rasengan spiraling in his hands.

Naruto managed to catch himself, releasing the jutsu so as to not waste his chakra.

"You taught him that jutsu?! Jiraiya you're a fool, he's only a kid!" Tsunade yelled. "He probably can't even use it properly yet!"

"Stop underestimating me!" Naruto barked, running at her again.

"Che" again, she dodged his barreling attack, flicking him on the forehead which slammed him back into a nearby wall, almost breaking through the brick.

"It's over." She stated, letting her stance relax.

"No," Naruto mumbled as he pulled himself from the rubble "it's not."

"How…?!" She asked in surprise, eyes wide in disbelief.

He charged at her again, a new form of rasengan spiraling in his hands. He was attempting to charge the rasengan with kyuubi's chakra, which made it unstable and wasn't perfected yet however; it was a guaranteed KO if he succeeded.

Tsunade reared back, having to use grab Naruto's wrist and force the rasengan to meet the ground.

"Tsunade…you…" Shizune mumbled in disbelief.

"You lose." Naruto stated smugly, the dust clearing to show a spider web-like pattern on the ground.

'So' Jiraiya thought as he stared at the pattern, 'he's already trying to improve it.

Tsunade stared in disbelief at her and Naruto's hand.


O0o0o0o0oo0 A/N

And yet another semester of school begins for me. Woo.

Anyone else here go to GenCon Indy?