Since the "Write a letter to a Muggle" assignment required all students, Pure-bloods as well as Muggle-borns and Half-bloods, to take part, the quality and length of the letters naturally varied wildly.

Perhaps the teachers were a little too lenient with some of their students, or simply did not bother to do any form of quality control, as some of the letters do not exactly fulfill the criteria, much less build up under the idea of tolerance and understanding towards Muggles that Albus Dumbledore hoped to cultivate - though in some cases they would turn out to have a bigger influence than even Dumbledore could have predicted.

In this installment, we'll look at the letters written by Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle, which have been cited elsewhere as proof that Hogwarts education is somewhat lacking when it comes to non-magical subjects such as spelling.

Below, you'll find the letters reproduced in full. No attempt has been made to correct spelling and grammar, nor have the letters been shortened or altered in any way.

Vincent Crabbe's letter:

Dear Muggle.

I am a wizard. Your not.

I win.

Sinserely your,
Vincent Crabbe

Gregory Goyle's letter:

dear mugel

i agree with crab.

gregory goyle

Epilogue: It must be mentioned that these letters were sent to two different Muggles, in different parts of England. Mrs. Evangeline Peep of Gloucestershire (who knew of the wizarding world through her now-deceased husband, a Squib) was highly confused when she received an owl post in which she was informed that some person she didn't know apparently agreed with crabs.

Gregory Goyle never did master the use of the capital letter.

However, this incident did lead to Mrs. Peep writing and eventually publishing the now-famous children's book "The Wizard and the Shellfish," which would go on to be a bestseller in the Muggle world, despite Mrs. Peep's somewhat skewed portrayal of wizards as eccentrics who employ crustaceans as advisors.

Author's Notes: I hadn't intended to ever do a follow-up to Draco Malfoy's letter, but I got this idea and thought it was funny enough to type up. I don't know if I'll do more letters - I might if I get a good idea.

A lot of people have wanted to see a reply from the Prime Minister to Malfoy's letter, but I'm going to have to disappoint you there: I have no intention of writing that. The reason is simple enough: A reply from the Prime Minister wouldn't be funny. In fact, it would probably kill any comedy that the first letter had, because it would reveal serious consequences to Malfoy's thoughtless insults.

Draco Malfoy can get all creative with insults because a): he's a teenager, and b): he thinks he can get away with anything. The Prime Minister has none of these excuses.