Disclaimer: I don't own RENT.

My name is April.

I was a straight A high school student.

I was well liked in High School.

I was the best in my art class.

Literature was my Favorite.

I liked Reading.

I would always put myself in the story.

It was the greatest feeling ever.

I was very close with my Family.

I had many friends.

We always had fun.

We liked going out at night.

Nothing beats New York City at night.

We liked going to see the local bands play.

Then my life changed forever.

The night I met Roger Davis.

I found out he played the club every Tuesday and Saturday

I ended up going to every show.

We got to know each other better.

Eventually we hooked up.

My parents and friends did not approve.

I didn't care.

I went to every show he played

He got me to start Smoking.

I loved it.

My parents…Not so much.

I still didn't care.

The club he played at was falling apart and smelled.

The club drew in a lot of people mostly hookers and Drug addicts.

I later found out the Drug addicts would go there to meet their Dealer.

Most had the same dealer.

They called him "Daddy" or "The Man"

Eventually the man approached me and convinced me to try some.

I did.

I loved the feeling of it the moment I did it.

I convinced Roger to shoot up with me.

He was unsure at first but then he gave in.

We became hooked.

I became a completely different person after that.

I became a Straight F student.

I started missing school.

I still cared about art but I changed my art style completely.

Literature meant nothing to me anymore.

Believe me when I tell you people noticed how much I changed.

I didn't care anymore.

All I wanted was for the final school bell to ring so I could go see Roger.

He got us what we needed while I was in school.

Eventually I decided that I no longer wanted to go to school.

I dropped out.

It was my senior year.

My parents were pissed.

They threw me out.

I cried.

Roger told me it was okay and offered to let me stay with him.

He told me I was better off without them and it was for the best.

This was the first time I have ever been to Roger's place.

I was surprised when I met his roommate and best friend.

He didn't seem like Roger's type.

I don't think he really cared for me much.

He would mostly talk to Roger and rarely talked to me.

I guess he didn't like the fact I got his best friend hooked on drugs.

I guess Roger cared about his friend though as he would never shoot up in the living room.

I would.

Mark would pretend he never saw.

Roger would only shoot up with me in our room.

Eventually Roger and I became regulars with "The Man"

He invited us to parties.

Roger always declined for us.

I never understood why.

I always wanted to go to one of "The Man's" Parties so one night I did.

I must admit it was fun.

We all sat around in a circle and shot up together.

We shared needles.

I didn't know it yet but it turned out to be the biggest mistake of my life.

When I got home that night Roger was pissed that I went to the party.

Did I care?

Nope. Not me.

I eventually got him to shut up by having sex with him.

Little did I know that I would also be ruining his life too.

A few weeks later I was at the club listening to Roger play.

I ended up talking to another girl who I knew was another client to "The Man"

She also shared the needle at the party.

She ended up telling me that she got tested for HIV and it came back positive.

She told me it was from sharing the needles and other people from this party got it too.

She told me I should get checked out too.

I did.

I was HIV positive.

How was I going to tell Roger?

I never actually told him just handed him the paper with my results.

We sat together in silence for at least 20 minutes.

Eventually I got up and went to lay down.

I heard him tell Mark.

They both cried.

I don't think Mark cried for me I think he cried for what I did to his best friend.

That made me cry too.

I cried myself to sleep that night.

Roger never actually said anything about it either he just looked at me like he was lost in thought.

Though sometimes I would catch him crying.

I don't blame either of them for not saying anything.

I wouldn't know what to say to someone either.

Eventually Mark told him to get tested too just to make sure.

He did.

He was HIV positive.

We all knew it was coming.

I suppose Mark just needed proof in writing.

Once it officially sank into my head that I had AIDS I became depressed.

I couldn't believe what I've done to my life.

I even went to the life support meetings with Roger.

We hoped it would help us.

I became good friends with some people there.

Especially the group leader Paul.

I felt like I could tell him anything.

But I was still depressed.

I started cutting myself every night in the bathroom.

Eventually I couldn't even look at Roger.

It hurt me so bad knowing that because of my stupid choice he paid the price.

I couldn't take the pain anymore….His or mine.

So I did the only thing I thought I should do.

I left.

I left Mark and my beloved Roger one night after they went to sleep.

I got on a bus and I went far away.

I left everything and everyone behind.

I went to a new town.

I got Clean.

I started a new life.

I just my whole look.

I even changed my name.

I only have one regret and that's leaving Roger without saying goodbye.

I still stay in touch with Paul to let him know I'm okay.

He tells me Roger took it hard, I was surprised to find out Mark was upset too.

From what Paul tells me Roger can't handle the fact I left.

Paul tells me Roger and Mark told everyone that I killed myself.

In a way that's true.

April is dead.

I'm no longer that girl anymore.

I haven't been that girl in a long time.