Hi, folks. Sorry it took so long to post this, what with school and all. But here it is! It's a bit Lemony, but that's what we all love, right? Some Plot in this chapter that will play a big part in other chapters, and next chapter will just be fun! Enjoy. Oh, and as always, I enjoy awesome reviews and constructive criticism. Thanks everyone.
Harry walked into Severus personal chambers and noticed that they were not as green as he would have believed, yes the man had several Slytherin green accents but overall it was creams and cozy browns. How had Harry never noticed before? Severus took Harry's outer robe and hung it on a coat rack near the door.
Severus magically moved the couch closer to the cold fire place and Harry's eyes lit up as the man cast a spell that made the cold wood logs burst into a roaring, crackling fire. Severus sat down as Harry sat close and leaned into him and soon two glasses of wine were floating in their direction and a large plush blanket was being pulled onto the two men.
"So, Harry, we have the wine and the fire…"
"I believe you have something to tell me. Something that I am very curious about."
"How did you come to believe what you do about light and dark magic?"
"Oh, yes." Harry said, he knew what Severus referred to the moment he asked, but Harry had hoped that he was going to ask about something else.
"Well," Harry began "I suppose it really began when I started the D.A."
"Oh, the stories I have heard about that…" Snape teased
"Yes, well, I suppose that I began thinking about how the intent was really the "darkness" behind the spell and not the caster. I admit, I obsessed over that revelation for weeks, even went so far as to lose sleep over it. I stayed up at night thinking about it, conjuring scenarios in my mind to disprove that theory, but while few extreme scenarios stood alone, my musings did nothing but further prove the growing belief that I held. I talked it over with Hermione and Ron and Ron lost it, I agreed with him and ended the conversation. A few days later Hermione came up to me after dinner and we sat alone for several hours just talking about it, I told her what I was beginning to believe and she told me that while she did not agree whole-heartedly, she did understand. She also told me that my line of thought was very dangerous and could get me in big trouble with the other students. She told me that many traditional and pure-blood wizarding families such as the Weasley's believed this train of thought to be a threat to their beliefs. She told me that if I ever needed to talk about it that I could come to her, but it would be best not to discuss it with other students, even the ones in the D.A."
"Yes, but at dinner you hinted to an experience that cemented the belief."
"I'm getting to that. At the end of that year The Dark Lord sent me a vision of Sirius being trapped at the Ministry, he was dying."
"If this is too hard to talk about Harry, you don't have to…" Severus offered despite his curiosity
"No, you need to know, besides you know most of the story anyway so it's not like I have to go through the entire night."
"Most of the story? Harry Dumbledore told me every single detail that happened that night. Even how Black died."
"Yes, but Albus had not yet arrived at The Ministry at that point, until he did the only memories of those he had to go by were firsthand accounts."
"Harry, he questioned each and every Order member and all of your friends, they swore that they had not left anything out." Severus told Harry, he had to admit, he was confused.
"You're right, they didn't." Harry told him plainly.
"Then I don't understand what your point is."
"They didn't leave anything out, they told Albus everything that they saw and experienced. However Albus never second guessed my account, never asked me to swear an oath. I think he believed that since I knew I had caused my own Godfather's death, there would be nothing to hold back. He also may have been giving me a big benefit of the doubt since I was grieving."
"So, you lied to Albus?" Severus was shocked
"I never lied, per say, but I may have not told him the entire truth." Harry smirked
"Slytherin indeed." Severus said surprised
"Well, you have to understand. After what happened, I was so confused about who I was that I didn't want Albus know how much I doubted myself, and I was proud of my action, but that pride is what I was ashamed of, not the action itself. I didn't know if I was becoming more like the Dark Lord or if this was just what happened when I let go of my self-control." Harry looked down at his hands, not even noticing anything around him. He didn't notice how his fingers fidgeted or how he was slightly pale, nor did he notice the worry in Severus' eyes, Harry was lost in his past.
"After Sirius fell into the veil, I tried to chase him, but Remus caught me before I could follow him. After a few moments I broke free, each Order member and D.A. member was fighting against their own Death Eater, but I didn't care, I couldn't care. I only had two cares in the world; one was that my only family, my only hope of a normal life, was gone, he was killed. The second care in the world, well, I was chasing her down a hallway. I managed to see Bellatrix slip out of the room from everyone and followed her, running at full speed, spinning around corners, dodging under her sloppy hexes. Looking back on it, the only thought going through my head was revenge, the only feeling was pure hatred, everything else was a void, it had all been ripped away by the monster in front of me. She ran down the halls screaming in her shrill voice "I killed Sirius Black!" She was proud, excited, and that made the hatred grow all the more. I threw a hex at her and she tripped, landing splayed on the floor, out of breath, but happy. She wasn't even scared of me, and in that moment she should have been, because at that point even I was scared of myself. She laughed; she taunted me, called me weak. I cast my first unforgivable at her. She laughed and threw it off. She told me that I had to mean it and that I was nothing but a weak boy. I remember the fear in her eyes as I cast her wand across the large hallway and jammed my wand into her throat. I whispered to her, asking her "If I am so weak, why has Voldemort not killed me yet?" Her eyes burned with anger, she spat on me, and called me a worthless whore. It was like fighting with my uncle all over again. I felt the anger bubble to the surface, unable to rein it in, I let it take over. I cast another Crucio at her and I meant every painful syllable of that curse. I watched her scream and writhe on the floor, but it wasn't enough. I wanted her dead more than anything, but my anger took over and I cast a Crucio again, in Parseltongue. She screamed for several minutes, her body lifting off the floor on several moments, she clawed at her skin until it bled. There was blood staining the floor, and for a moment I felt sorry for her, but then I remembered Sirius' eyes as he was ripped away from me. I knew in that moment that living was more painful than death, and that I had made the right decision. I watched for a few moments longer as she screamed; I could actually hear her throat getting raw, her faced was drenched with her tears as she cried on the floor, screaming, convulsing, clawing at her skin, and pulling her hair out. I stood there enjoying it, enjoying her pain in exchange for the pain she caused me. But it wasn't the blood and tears, or even the multiple cracks of her skull pounding against the marble floor that broke me out of my anger; it was Hermione's voice calling for me. She was screaming, looking for me. I lost focus on the spell and it cancelled, but I will never forget Bellatrix's face as I walked away from her, her eyes were full of fear, and I truly believe that if she was not in such pain she would have scrambled to get away from me in that moment. But I just walked away, not looking back at her shaking, tearful, terrified form; I was running to find my friends until Voldemort found me first and Dumbledore showed up moments later. Everything that I told Dumbledore was true, except for those few minutes when I was alone with Bellatrix, and I let my anger take over and control me. When I proved to her that I was every bit as powerful as Voldemort, and showed her that I could be just as unforgiving as her master any day. Dumbledore found out later of course, I had told him, I could never hide anything like that from him for long. I saw fear in his eyes after I told him and showed him my memory, but unlike Bellatrix, the fear in his eyes wasn't from me but for me. He knew why I hadn't told him earlier, he knew what I thought of myself at that point. He spent several months reassuring me that I wasn't a monster like I believed, but just a powerful wizard who lost control in an unfortunate situation. After that he helped train me, so that I wouldn't be tempted by the anger and hatred again. It only happened once, but I will never forget that night. I have never before been so terrified of myself, but when I wept in Albus' office I remembered something Sirius had told me only days before. He said "I want you to listen to me very carefully, Harry. You're not a bad person. You're a very good person, who bad things have happened to. Besides, the world isn't split into good people and Death Eaters. We've all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That's who we really are." That is what cemented my beliefs, because I want to believe that I am a good person, I think that I am. Deep down, not just "Potter" but "Harry" as well. Good people can cast dark spells, and dark people can cast good spells; it's not the spells or the people, it is their intention." Harry finished and stared down at his hands, afraid to look up into his lover's face, afraid of the rejection he would see in those eyes, or even worse, the fear.
Severus knew what was going through the young man's head, and he put his slender fingers under Harry's chin and made him look into his eyes.
Harry wanted to gasp, there was no fear, not even rejection, but there was understanding. Harry nearly cried out of happiness.
"Then you won't reject me?"
"No, Harry, not in a million years. I have to admit that I am a bit shocked. Not in the bad way. I'm surprised that you cast an unforgivable yes, but I'm so glad that my partner is someone who is not only young and beautiful, but more mature and wise than most adults that I know. I feel so very touched that someone as wonderful as you could love someone like me. I guess I never imagined that we would have this much in common." Severus admitted, he hated rambling like this, it wasn't like him. But he decided that it was worth it the moment he saw Harry smile bigger than he had ever seen before. Harry launched at the older man and threw his arms around him. Severus knew that he found the man he would want to spend the rest of his life with. Someone who has been through just as much Hell as he has, and understands him the way no one else does; someone who will never judge him.
Harry kissed the man in front of him and moaned after the man turned it more passionate, their tongues swirled and mapped out each other's mouths. Harry's hands rested on Severus' strong, wide, shoulders and Severus' hands held Harry neck as his thumbs gently stroked his cheeks. After several minutes of moaning and thrashing Harry fell off the couch and onto the floor, with Severus landing gracefully on top of him.
"Are you hurt?" Severus asked worriedly
"God, no that was…really hot." Harry blushed
Severus smirked and had a feeling that he knew what Harry meant. The older man ground his erection against his younger lover and both men moaned.
"Merlin!" Harry yelled as Severus relentlessly rubbed their members together.
"Mmm…just call me Severus." The older man said while attacking the younger one's neck, biting down hard and licking the spot afterwards.
"Sev, I thought you wanted to take this slow?" Harry asked
"I thought I did to, but I just want to taste you so badly." Severus admitted picking up his wand and casting a spell that had their shirts laying several feet away folded up on the couch.
"Sev…you're beautiful." Harry moaned as the man tweaked his nipples. God, it was like the man knew all his erogenous zones.
"You are breathtaking, Harry." Severus kissed down his neck and past his chest, circling his tongue at the man's belly button. Harry seemed to like this so he continued on doing this as he gently unzipped the man's pants, revealing a trail of dark hair that led down to something far greater. He pulled down the pants with his boxers and Harry's hard member sprang free in all its glory. Severus almost gasped, none of his one night stands had ever been this well endowed. He took the member and ran his fingers down it admiring it before wrapping his fist around it and pumping slowly.
"Ahhh…Sev!" Harry gasped thrusting his hips to meet the man's thrusts. Severus placed a hand on either hip and held him down. Harry looked at him and whined, before Severus took all of Harry into his mouth and began sucking. Harry moaned and ran his hands through his lover's silky hair. "Oohhhhhh" Harry cried as Severus began to focus on his throbbing head for several moments before taking everything into his mouth again. Once Harry stopped moving his hips, a stray hand began playing with his balls, rolling them and pulling on them, after several more minutes Harry was ready to come, but pushed Severus off, ripped off his own pants and began to unbutton Severus'.
Harry played with the man's nipples, biting down, then massaging away the pain with his tongue. He pulled off the man's pants and held the large member in his hand, Severus was slightly bigger than Harry. The young man wasn't quite sure how this would ever fit in him but moaned at the thought and began furiously fisting the older man's long, thick member, bringing his head down and pulling the man's balls into his mouth, tongue circling, flicking and massaging the package before Severus pulled him roughly by his hair and into a heated kiss in which Severus took his position back on top. He kissed the man under him and brought their erections together and began pumping them both with one hand while his other arm held him up.
"Sev!" Harry cried out as he dug his nails into his lovers shoulders, the man on top knew his green eyed beauty was close, just as he was. He shamelessly thrust against the man under him for more friction as he whispered in his young lovers' ear.
"Look at me, I want to see your beautiful green eyes as you come all over my hand. Come for me Harry." Severus whispered in his silky voice and that was all it took
"Harry!" They both were shooting their white streams over Severus hand and onto Harry's stomach and up past his chest. They both looked at each other, silently asking if either had gone too far, but the kiss afterward proved neither had and that they not only both had wanted it, but they both enjoyed it, if Severus sensually licking Harry's come off his hand was anything to go by.
After Harry had cast a wandless and wordless cleaning spell over them both they laid under the blanket by the fire happily, just touching each other and exploring their bodies more closely.
"I thought you said that you never had relations with a man before, Harry?"
"Merlin, you are amazing." Severus stared at him lovingly
"I'm glad you enjoyed it, I was nervous that I would do something wrong." Severus chuckled in his velvety baritone
"No, Harry, you did everything perfectly. I've never had anyone go down on me like that before." At this Harry smiled, it turned out that he could be Severus' first for a few things as well.
After several hours they dressed and parted ways, despite the reluctance on both parts, but it was agreed that they would be going out next weekend for another date.
Well, there you have it and there you are. lol. Anyway, i will hopefully have the new chapter up somewhat sooner. I'm working on it now.