Hey hey hey! Now you guys really disliked me doing what I did to the baby and I'm sorry, once again. BUT... In a couple of chapters THINGS GET HAPPY AGAIN! Also I'm for telling you in advance that in about 5-6 chapters (I don't know yet) I will be ending the story...

Now... HERE'S Chapter 31!

"Ziva, please eat something." Tony sat on the edge of her bed, holding a plate of chicken with a small side of carrots. "You haven't eaten anything in 2 days."

Ziva laid on her side, looking out the window at the slow falling snow. Her face grew with the heartbreak that consumed her and as she tightly clutched her stomach, she closed her eyes blocking out the one who she had always turned to. She hadn't looked at anyone in days, just the pale outside that was covered with white. Her lips hadn't moved since her crying words that she mistakenly let escape. Now after 48 hours, she wanted nothing more than to leave this forbidding place and away from tear-filled eyes. Ziva didn't voice her feelings though, but Tony knew, and he was scared.

"Zi, please. I'm begging you." The desire to eat left her the moment she heard, "Miscarriage," leave the doctor's mouth. Curling up under a rock and just waiting for the inevitable to happen was the only thing that she desired now.

"Fine." She heard him growl, and the covers shift as his presence left her and the room. She sighed and closed her eyes, trying to let sleep take her, but the process was impossible. She couldn't relax; she could barely breathe the heavy hospital air.

"I'm going to the office." Tony announced as entered the room slowly again, walking to the other side of the bed to face her. "I'll be back in about an hour." She didn't meet his eyes as he crouched to her level.

"I love you." He leaned forward and kissed her head, but the normal smell of her lavender shampoo didn't hit him. Closing his eyes, he kissed her again then stood. "Bye."

Ziva watched him stand and leave, losing him as he rounded to the other side of her bed and out the door. His footsteps stopped as she heard his turn by the doorway and the feeling of eyes on her made Ziva shiver. Then he was gone and the only small pit of happiness she had held had disappeared with him. She let a few small tears fall as she sighed out an "I love you too."


It was a half an hour later she heard heavy footsteps enter, followed by a loud and annoyed groan. Confused, but the need to see who was there didn't coming, she stayed still; waiting to see what would happen. The feet approached and stopped next to her bed.

"Ziva." The voice was familiar and her usually soft words held anger.


"Ziva, look at me," She growled, tapping her foot.

"There is no need," Ziva blankly said the first words she'd spoken to a person in days.

Suddenly feeling strong hands on her shoulders, her being was forced to turn to look at the Goth. Her face gave every emotion she felt away. Anger, disappointment, annoyance, and sadness all write as if she had them tattooed on her forehead. "No need? Are you serious? This is the biggest need ever!"

Confused, Ziva paused. "What?"

"You, my strong, crazy, ex-Mossad ninja best friend, are the needed." Abby's hands were still clamped on Ziva's arms and her grip grew stronger with each word.

"Abby-" Ziva was surprised by the power of her hands as they grabbed her. Realizing what she was doing, Abby quickly released. "Sorry, but you deserve it."

"Why?" Ziva was getting more and more confused by the second.

What is she talking about?

"You just can't up and ignore Tony! It's killing him. Right now, he's sitting in autopsy, drinking away all his pain, caused by you." Abby paced the room, giving Ziva as many mad looks as possible.

"Abby, our baby is gone-"

Abby butted in. "Yeah, Ziva, I know. And I can't possibly know what you are dealing with. You need to mourn, you need to cry, but why can't you mourn together, with Tony, or cry on each other's shoulders, just talk it through."

Ziva didn't automatically response to her speech, for she didn't know what exactly to say. "This is how I cope, Abby. Alone, by myself."

Abby stomped towards her. "But that's not how Tony does. He needs you to be with him. You promised him you would be there forever the moment you took that ring from him."

Ziva looked away, her mind fighting itself.

Tony is the man you love! You have to be there for him!

Tony knows that you aren't the cuddle and cry type. He will be fine.

Shut up! You need to go be with him!

No you shut up! Tony is a man, he can take care of himself.

Then why is he drinking his life away right now?

Clutching her head, Ziva dug her fingernails into her scalp. This was her time to be loving and caring. To be the one who refused to see the reality in front of them and just go with what the heart screamed at her to do. Breathing through her teeth, she rolled her shoulders, and then sat straight up. "You are right, Abby. And I know you are mad at me for acting so selfish, but I need you to do something for me…"


Tilting his head back, Tony felt the alcohol run down his throat. He was supposed to return to the hospital soon, but the uncaring Ziva made him so hesitant to do so.

She sat so still for so long that he sometimes thought it wasn't just their unborn child that had lost its life, but its mother as well had perished with it. He didn't know what to do. The death had killed him more then he would let anyone see. He did just as Ziva had told him not to; he had gotten his hopes up. His mind was focused on how to be a good father, how he was going to help his pregnant soon-to-be wife deal with the emotions, the labor, the crazy food cravings, how he was going to teach the baby to walk, to run, to ride a bike. He had gottten his hopes up and they all came crashing down like a pile of bricks. And it really hurt.

Taking another swig of the bourbon, he sighed. When he heard the automatic doors of the autopsy open, his mind went to Ducky.

"I'm putting it away now, Duck." In the rolling chair he sat on, he turned to face the doctor, but his eyes grew wide as he faced her. His Ziva.

"I wish you would not. I was hoping to have some as well."

In my computer class last week, we had the option to make a book cover for our final project, and that I did for Crash and Burn! The link to it is on my homepage, and I would LOVE to know what you think! There is also one for Dear Diary, but that one isn't as good... so now...

pLeAsE ReViEw!

IT WILL MAKE MY SMILE! (OH AND fav and story alert to make me jump up and down in pure love for the world!)

So you should all check out my best friend LyssLovesTiva33's fic New Found Angel! http :/ / www .fanfiction. net/s/6560075/1/New_Found_Angel (without spaces) It's amazing (: She's awesome!