Show Us Your Dark Side Contest
Title: One More Addiction
Pen name: Lilly Monroe
Summary: It was a brief taste of something that could never be. It was so wrong yet so right, but more than all that it was the sweetest sin. It was just one more addiction. It could never be anything more, right?
Disclaimer: *sighs* I desperately wish I owned them, but I'll settle for my twisted mind and everything that sparks inspiration.
One More Addiction
Fuck, which one comes first again?
Growling, I tore my eyes off the ugly ass carpet and stared down the vast stretch of hallway in front of me.
I probably had a good fifty more steps before I reached the damn elevator. Fifty more steps, six floors down, a quick turn to the right and I'd be free.
I could do this.
As long as no-one got in my fucking way I would be good.
Hands stuffed in my pockets I kept my eyes locked on the shiny elevator, my light at the end of the tunnel, and was literally holding my breath until I finally stopped and pressed the damn little button.
It took forever and I tapped my foot impatiently as I waited for the slow fucker to reach my floor.
With a ding, the doors opened and I quickly stepped inside and prayed to God that no-one would be joining me.
"Emmett!" A voice called me, sticking their hand between the already closing doors and stepped inside.
Fuck, thanks God!
I barely acknowledged their presence, standing off towards the corner of the suddenly too small elevator.
"Feeling good after the meeting?" He asked, smiling at me.
What the fuck this guy's deal? I didn't know….oh, fuck, yes I did know him.
I shrugged, not really wanting to talk about it. "Same old shit man."
He continued talking for the twenty six seconds it took for us to reach the first floor. When the door slid open I was the first one out.
"See you on Wednesday Emmett!" The annoying ass called back at me and I gave him a curt nod before taking my desired turn to the right and out the doors, inhaling deeply as the cold fall air hit me, giving me the much needed rush of calm.
You know those people who say they hate Mondays? Yea, I'm one of those people who agree whole heartedly.
That guy, whoever the hell he was, shouldn't have known my name. I mean, for fuck's sakes we were just in an AA meeting.
Let me tell you, there was nothing fucking anonymous about everyone knowing your name and your life story. They should change the name to Putting Alcoholics on fucking blast.
It was a little after five, but it was cold as a bitch outside. I yanked up the hood of my sweatshirt and put my hands back inside the pockets as I started walking home. I didn't exactly live close by, but I couldn't drive my car and I had a thing about public transportation.
It scared the shit out me to just think about it.
It didn't matter what time I got back anyways. Not like anyone was eager to see me come walking through the door, or would be worried if I didn't come home at all. Guess that's what happens when your dad bails and your mom sleeps her life away every day because she's 'depressed.'
I take it back though. There is one person worth going home for. My little sister Ava was only three years old, but completely owned me. She had me wrapped around her little finger and I would do anything to make her happy. She was the only reason I was going to these fucking meetings in the first place. I couldn't have my baby sister growing up in the same loveless household I did.
I would be there for her.
If only I could get my shit together. "Easier said than done," I grumbled, keeping my eyes locked on the cracked pavement below me, avoiding eye contact as much as possible. I had walked down these sidewalks for months, lived in this city for years, and nothing had ever caused me to make stop. Each time I set off to someplace, I stopped for nothing and no-one. It was just easier that way.
That is until I heard her.
"I swear to fucking God Seth, if you tell mom any of this I'll come all the way back to Washington and kick your ass!" A low female voice shouted and I couldn't stop myself from stopping even if I wanted to. She sounded so angry, so fucking pissed off that I had to know what her deal was. I needed to know her deal because she sounded a lot like me when I was in one of my fits. I stopped, slowing turning to my right to find a girl leaning against a wall, cigarette in one and cell phone in the other.
"What the fuck are you looking at?" She smirked, her eyes sizing me up.
Dressed in jeans and a white button up shirt, she had a black apron tied around her waist while her hair was swept up in a simple ponytail. I gathered enough strength to answer her without sounding like a complete pussy.
"Well your screaming just about caused me to go deaf so I wanted to see just what kind of a danger you were in because no-one in their right mind would be yelling so fucking loud under normal circumstances."
She gaped at me for a few seconds, her lips twisting into a tight line after a minute. "Fuck off man, you don't know me."
"Is that a dare or a fucking challenge?" I didn't know where this confidence was coming from, but something inside of me was enjoying messing with this girl.
"Baby," She pushed away from the wall and took a long drag from her cigarette before putting it out. "You couldn't handle someone like me."
"Oh well now," I closed the distance between us, but careful not to touch her. "You're just playing with fire little girl."
She scoffed, planting a firm hand on my chest. "I'm no little girl asshole." She purred as her finger trailed up until she reached my cheek. "You don't know who you're messing with."
Her hands on me were both unsettling and turning me on like no end. I may be fucked in head, but that only proved to be in my benefit when it came to matters of the bedroom. "Well you going to show me or are just going to stand here all afternoon?"
She glanced at her cell phone then met my gaze once more, her eyes dancing with a wicked glint. "Give me five minutes big boy." She patted my cheek and disappeared before I could blink.
I stood there, frozen like an idiot, and watched as she ran behind the counter and waved her hands at someone before tossing her apron and grabbing her purse. Either she was fucking crazy, or she was really eager. At any rate, this was turning out to be a rather peculiar afternoon.
She came out and grabbed my hand. "I really hope you don't have anywhere to be for the next couple hours." She tugged on it and the two of us began walking down the sidewalk in a rather haste fashion.
A couple hours, fuck, what all did this girl want to do?
What in the hell did I care? She was hot, apparently horny, and I was tired of getting off on my own. This was perfect actually. I had no real desire to go home anytime soon.
Ava would forgive me. She was still a baby for fuck's sakes and I wouldn't be gone all night or anything. I'd still be there to hum her to sleep.
"Where are we going?" I glanced around as she practically tugged me down the road. I let her have control though…for now.
"My apartment fucker, where else would be going?"
I guess she had a point there. "Lead the way….what the fuck is your name anyways?"
She stopped just as we reached the front door of an apartment complex. "Leah. My name's Leah." Her words were rushed. "What about you?" She asked, but didn't seem really interested.
I thought about lying to her, telling her my name was Mike or something generic like that, but if I was going to have this girl screaming my name I wanted it to be my actual name.
"Emmett," I nudged her towards the doors. "And I'm so fucking ready to make you scream baby."
She smirked, her hips swaying as we walked inside.
It wasn't anything spectacular, but it wasn't shady either. Hands still laced together, she practically skipped her way to the elevator and pressed the button three times. Three times, I wonder if she pushed it that many times for a reason.
Why the fuck are you thinking about that!
Right, what she did didn't matter. It couldn't matter to me. Once inside the private confines of the elevator, Leah's hands were all over me, her warm body backing me up against the grimy wall.
"Still confident Emmett," She ran her hand down my chest, hand landing on the front of my jeans before rubbing me through the denim material. When I groaned, she laughed. "Yea, that's what I thought."
We were out in the hall, down five doors to the left in no time, Leah fumbling to find her keys while I leaned against the wall and watched her.
"Nervous about something," I teased her, coming around to wrap my arms around her waist, pressing myself up against her back. She stalled for a second, her ass pushing back against my hips roughly.
"No, I'm not scared of you Emmett."
Well, we'd see about that. "Come on little girl," I bent down and whispered in her ear. "Open the fucking door." To fuel her fire even more I nipped at her earlobe, sucking on the skin gently while she stumbled even more to get her keys.
"Mother fuck," She groaned, finally sliding the key into the slot and pushing it open. As soon as she stepped in, she threw her bag and keys on the couch, tugging off the black jacket she was wearing as I kicked the door shut behind me with my foot. Her jacket barely hit the couch, leaving her in a thin button down, before I crossed the room in two strides and grabbed her face roughly in my hands.
"Shall we?" I didn't give her time to respond, instead covering her mouth with mine, immediately invading her mouth with my tongue, the two of us fighting for dominance. Leah's taste was exotic, warm, and it fueled something deep inside of me. I quickly found myself on the hunt for more.
My hands moved up to snap off the hair tie, allowing me to tangle my hands in that thick luscious hair of hers while her hands fisted at my sweatshirt, trying desperately to get me out of it. I broke the kiss for a moment, her sweet cinnamon taste lingering on my lips, and allowed her to unzip the sweatshirt while I nearly ripped off the shirt she was wearing, my fingers making quick work on the buttons. I took a step back my eyes roaming over her taut stomach and the prize that awaited me underneath the black bra she was wearing.
Her chest was rising and falling rapidly, blinking her eyes a few times before making her way towards what I assumed was the kitchen. I took those few seconds to observe her apartment. It was small with me standing in the living room, the kitchen around the corner to the left and the small hallway to her room to the right.
The interior was plain, a black leather couch a few feet away from me while a TV sat on her entertainment center along with some books strewn about the coffee table. She was by no means a neat freak and that irked the shit out of me. I bit back the urge to clean all her shit up, thankful for when I saw her walking back into the living room with two glasses in her hands.
"Here," She handed me the glass. "Figure we might as well enjoy it fully." She finished her drink in one take while I just stood there and stared at the clear liquid in mine. "What the fuck? Don't tell me you don't drink Emmett." She laughed, setting her glass down and watching me. "Come on baby you know you want it."
Dear God she had no fucking idea.
Could she…no, how could she possibly know? All thoughts and advice from all those meetings all went down the drain the second I lifted the glass to my lips, the strong smell filling my senses. I shot it back, the liquor burning my throat in the most fucking delicious way.
Fuck how I had missed that feeling.
As soon as I set my empty glass down Leah was on me, her hands slipping under my shirt and practically scratching her way up my chest.
"This has got to go baby," She purred, yanking on the hem of my shirt. I lifted my arms, allowing her to pull it off completely. Her lips were on me immediately, tongue and teeth tasting what all she could.
"Fuck," I wrapped my fingers around the back of her neck and pulled her back up to me. "Stop fucking with me little girl." I began pushing her down the hall. She had control in this situation for far too long and now it was my turn to show her who the fuck was boss.
If she wanted to mess with me, I could play that game too. We finally reached her bedroom, the two of us stumbling inside as she flipped the light on. Too consumed in the need to fuck her I didn't even look around like I normally would have. I had a thing about not knowing my surroundings, but I was apparently being ruled by my dick tonight and not my mind.
I slid one hand down in between us and popped the snap of her jeans before slowly pulling down the zipper as she continued her assault on my neck. "Out," I pushed her back. "Take them the fuck off." My eyes bore into hers and I could see the lust swirling around in them.
She nodded, slowly shimming her jeans down her hips and long tanned legs. She kicked them off to the side, doing the same with her socks and shoes, leaving her in only the black bra and matching thong. I growled lowly, eyes raking all over her body. Something about when a girl matched her lingerie was such a fucking turn on to me.
She came back towards me, but I grabbed her wrists and turned her around quickly. "Bed, now." I hissed lowly, her practically bare ass rubbing against me. We moved together until I had her at the foot of the bed. "On your knees," I was still holding onto her wrists and it wasn't until she was on all fours that I released her.
I didn't need her assistance as I shed the rest of my clothing, tossing everything behind me. Glancing over her shoulder I caught her licking her lips as she took in my naked form, her eyes darkening at the mere thought.
Fucking little minx, she had no idea.
"You going to fuck me or what tiger," She growled playfully, seductively and I just about came undone right then and there.
I smirked, kneeling on the behind her, gripping her hips and pulling her back to me. "I'm going to do so much more than that baby," I nipped down her ear, running one hand down her spine to the thin piece of fabric that was blocking me from where I needed to be the most.
"Oh fuck, Emmett….please baby." She dropped her head when I ripped the damn thing off her, the scent of her arousal so fucking sweet. I knew she'd feel even better. I brushed my tip against her entrance, wrapping an arm around her waist as I quickly thrust into her fully.
"Oh, fuck!" She moaned in pain and pleasure, her entire body stilling around me for a moment as she adjusted. She was tight, wet and I knew that I wouldn't last all that long so I knew I had to make this fucking good.
When she wiggled her hips back against me I wasted no time in pulling all the way out and ramming back into her. She clenched around me with every movement, her breathing coming out in short pants with everything I was doing to her.
"So fucking tight," I grunted in her ear and she merely nodded.
"You like that baby?" She moaned, trying to meet my thrusts. "I told you….oh fuck…I told you so."
Something about her cocky tone made the demon rise inside of me, my temper flaring wildly. I moved my hand up from her waist, trailing it up along her back before wrapping my fingers around her hair and yanking her up to me, her back arching against my chest.
"Do this feel good little girl?" I growled, pumping into her faster and with fucking fervor. She whimpered, but nodded her head, leaning it back to rest on my shoulder as I pulled on her hair tighter.
Leah reached back and wrapped on her hands around my neck, pushing herself further against me.
"Harder Emmett," She groaned, her entire body already showing signs of an impending release. I gave in to her, but only because I was so desperate to cum deep inside of her. Thrusting into her at almost an alarming rate I reached around my free hand and slid it in between her thighs.
"Fuck Leah, so fucking wet." I circled her clit teasingly, Leah bucking her hips against my hand and dick, trying desperately to create as much friction as possible. But it wasn't time yet.
"You'll cum when I tell you to." I reprimanded her in her ear, purposefully slowing down all my movements.
"No…no," She cried. "Fuck why did you stop?" She sounded practically on the verge of tears and that gave me great satisfaction.
"Because little girl I'm in control and you will do as I say." I slowly slid back into her, pulling out just as slowly.
"Please it's so fucking good. I need you baby." She gripped my neck tighter. "Please….I'll do whatever you want. Just fuck me!"
God she was really desperate. I fucking loved that. She was the sweetest fucking sin.
"Are you going to be a good girl Leah and let me make you scream when I say you're good and ready?" She nodded, but that wasn't good enough.
"No," I twisted her hair tighter, her back arching further. "Tell me little girl."
"Shit," She hissed. "I….I'll be a good girl." She panted out, her emotions all over the fucking place. "I promise…just…please don't stop." Her words placated me and, to show her I accepted her words, I slid back inside her roughly, hitting her harder than previously before.
She dug her nails into the back of my neck and her words were incoherent as her muscles began to tighten around me. Her frantic desperation mixed with my desire to possess her at that very moment is what ultimately sent me over the edge.
"Let go little girl," I stroked her roughly three times before she screamed and completely fell apart in my arms. I held onto her tightly as she rode out her release and, with three more strokes of my own, I quickly followed suit. Tightening my grip I was almost certain I was going to rip some hair out of her scalp, but neither of us seemed to care about that minute detail.
"Mm, holy fucking shit…." Her grasp loosened around my neck as we stayed there for what felt like forever. "No one's ever made me cum like that." I smirked, releasing her hair and leaning down to lick her shoulder.
"That doesn't surprise me little girl." Removing my hand from between her legs I brought it up to her mouth. "Open," I rasped, my fingertips making their way inside her hot little mouth. She obeyed of course, her tongue darting out to lick herself off my fingers, the velvet feel of her tongue nearly making me hard all over again.
I knew we couldn't though and so after a moment or so I withdrew them quickly. I pulled out of her gently, Leah practically collapsing on the bed when I did so. I quickly turned away from her and sat on the edge of the bed, hands gripping my knees tightly.
Like any fucked up addict knows, after every hit of their desired drug, the weight of my decision came crashing down on me when I realized what I had just done as reality settled back in around me.
What the hell was I thinking? What the fuck was she thinking?
She was so willing, so eager to attain that deep release that she was going along with everything I was saying and doing to her. I could've called her a fucking slut and she would've agreed if it meant I fucked her good and hard. Something wasn't right with this girl. But I didn't dare venture further to discover with that was. This had already gone far enough and I didn't want to know anything else or do anything more with her.
I stood quickly, scanning and keeping my eyes locked on the floor as I slipped on my boxers and jeans as fast as I could. I felt my hands shaking as I zipped them up. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to force the thoughts of what we had just done out of my mind. But she had been so fucking good that I couldn't forget, even if I wanted to. The way she felt, the way her tiny body molded perfectly against mine. It was the way that she let me do things to her, things most girls would find cruel and too controlling. No, it was like she fucking fed off the dominant nature I projected towards her.
She was perfect.
And that's why I needed to get the fuck out of here before things got out of hand, before the repercussions of our actions caught up with her too. I tried to make a silent exit out her bedroom door, trying to make the quick ten steps to her door before she stopped me. No such fucking luck.
"You…you're just going to fucking leave me?" I turned to look at her, her deep brown eyes hard, but with a hint of desperation.
She didn't want me to leave. She thought this was going to transpire into something more than just this one night. That wasn't a possibility. Regardless of the pull I felt towards her, I wouldn't allow myself to take her down that path towards me. It wasn't fair and she didn't deserve to be treated in such a manner. Just because I was going to hell, didn't mean she had to go with me too.
Regardless of the nagging voice that was telling me that she wasn't all that innocent I just couldn't do it. "Leah," I knelt in front of her on the bed. "You were one hell of a fuck baby, but this can't go on beyond tonight. I thought you knew that."
Her eyes narrowed, her full lips pressed in a tight line. "Don't lie to me."
She shook her head. "Shut the fuck up and let me talk." She, for added affect, pressed her hand over my mouth and sat up further in her bed.
"Look Emmett I'm a big girl and I knew what I was getting into when you came up to me tonight. I knew exactly what you wanted as soon as you flashed me that fucking smile. I'm not stupid so don't try and screw me over now."
She dropped her hand from me, sitting up completely and wrapping the sheet around her naked body.
"What do you want me to say? We don't know each other. That's the whole point of a one night stand isn't it? We get together, fuck, and then forget about each other right?"
"Yea, but you don't want to forget about me. I can see it in your eyes. This was more than just some casual fuck."
"I don't know what you're talking about." I felt my façade breaking and it was like she was seeing right through me.
"Oh, I think you do." Her legs, which were hanging over the edge of the bed, wrapped around my waist gently and pulled me back against her.
When I hissed upon feeling my chest come in contact with her sex, she sent me a smirk. "I told you."
"That doesn't mean anything. You're a sexy as fuck girl Leah. Of course I'm going to react to you that way."
"Fucking liar," She let go of the white sheet, her breasts coming into full view, and tangled her fingers in my hair and yanked me forward.
It stung, her fingers digging into my scalp as she kissed my forehead. "Touch me Emmett. Touch me and tell me you don't feel anything."
With my face practically pressed into her chest, I didn't have much of a choice. I couldn't resist temptation, the heat from her skin calling to me.
If fucking her the first time was a mistake, then being with her again was probably going to send me straight to hell.
Well I was already on my way so why the fuck not?
I slid one hand up her thigh, pushing the sheet away and squeezed her inner thigh roughly before continuing upward until I cupped her breast in my hand, brushing my fingertip lightly over the tip. She hardened immediately with my touch and, not wanting to neglect the other, I leaned down and gently blew over her right breast.
Leah arched her chest further into my hand and awaiting mouth. "Touch me." She hissed, her legs tightening around me. Lowering my mouth I captured the pebbled tip between my teeth, biting down gently before sucking the skin greedily.
"Oh God," She leaned back, dropping one of her hands and pulling the rest of the sheet off of her. "So fucking good Emmett, don't stop." She urged me on, my right hand pinching and kneading her while my mouth worked her.
I hadn't taken the time earlier to fully worship her body, the need to fuck her hard had been the only thing on my mind at the time. I was seeing how truly beautiful she was right at this moment. I knew I shouldn't, but damn it, she was too hot, too good for me not to notice. Feeling her shift on the bed, I felt her hand sliding down her body until it came to rest in between her thighs.
"You've got me so fucking wet." She rasped out, her voice thick with lust. "Mm, oh…fuck." She groaned and I looked down, watching wide eyed as she slipped a finger inside of her heat, setting a fast rhythm right away.
This girl was on a mission, a desperate need for release. I had to help her, if only this one time.
"Keep touching yourself Leah." I ordered her, my hard voice from earlier returning, Leah nodding her head upon hearing me. I rose higher up my knees, licking my way up her body until I found the spot between her neck and collarbone.
"Just like that," I groaned, nudging her with my forehead before sucking on the delicate, heated flesh.
"Shit!" She cried, pushing my lips further against her skin as she sped up her movement, her fingers thrusting in and out fervently.
Knowing she was close and, knowing that needed to be over before I got too much involved, I parted my lips further and bit down on her roughly. That was all the extra push she needed, her entire body stilling against my chest as her breathy moans vibrated against me as she came undone.
"Fuck…Jesus fucking Christ." She slumped against me, one hand coming to rest on my shoulder while she pulled her other fingers out and brought them to my lips. Running them over my bottom lip, she smirked lightly. "Open your fucking mouth, you know want it."
There was no denying it. Against my better judgment I allowed her to slip her fingers inside my mouth and I licked everything off of them. Fuck she was so sweet, probably the best I have ever tasted.
No, it was the best I've ever had. She was the best I've ever had.
Oh, fuck…fuck! This wasn't good. One taste and I was a fucking goner now? I needed out, and fast.
I slid my hands up her body one last time, gripping her waist and letting my fingers press into her soft but taught body. I allowed myself two minutes. Two minutes of utter fucking relaxation and contentment over something that could never be.
Yea, I was only nineteen, but I already knew what life had in store for me. No matter how many meetings I went to or how 'reformed' I may seem, the truth of everything was going to lurk in the back of my mind, haunting me very single fucking day.
Pushing myself away from Leah, I made the mistake of meeting her brown eyes yet again. She was staring right back at me, the truth of her thoughts written all over her face. She knew what this was. She knew what was to come before I even opened my mouth.
I knew it would've been best to get up and leave without another word, but I couldn't fucking do that to her. Her eyes screamed sadness, confusion, and understanding.
Reaching up I cupped her face in my hands and pressed a chaste kiss to her lips, slow and thick with regret, and allowed her to taste us for a few moments. It was a brief tease of something that could never be.
"You were so good baby, so fucking good" I pulled away from her, standing up fully and looking down. "But I'm fucked up Leah, an addict."
She opened her mouth to speak, but snapped her jaw shut when I turned away from her and began walking down the hallway.
I threw the rest of my clothes on hastily. Shrugging the t-shirt on, my shoes were next, followed my sweatshirt and a grab of my keys and wallet. I felt her eyes on me the entire time, knowing she had followed me down the hall, but I was too much of a pussy to turn back and face her.
It would be too hard to see her face again.
This was a large city and I knew there was good chance I'd never run into her again. I spared her a goodbye, knowing it'd only break her more. Behind that strong façade, she was an emotionally broken girl who was harboring her own demons. She tried to hide it well, but I could see it. As I opened the door and stepped out, I faintly heard her say something that caused me to stop completely.
Her voice was soft and her words tearful, but I heard it clear as crystal. "So am I Emmett."
Four words and I nearly turned back around to go back to her.
But I didn't.
There was no room in my life for yet another addiction. So, with one final deep breath, I stepped out into the hallway and closed the door behind me softly. I prayed to whatever God there was that this would be the last time I ever saw Leah. If there was any fairness in this world, she and I would never cross paths again.
It wasn't worth it.
She wasn't worth it.
I couldn't allow myself to wrap myself up with a strange girl and beg for forgiveness and pray that she be the path to my salvation. Absolution didn't exist for people like me.
Twenty three steps, seven floors down, and a straight shot out the door and I then I'd be okay.
Only the thing was I wasn't.
Never had been and never fucking would be.
I have to give a major thanks to my beta, you own baby!
Just in case anyone is wondering, I will be continuing this once the contest is over and I can't wait.
Hope you enjoyed the little taste of Darkmett! I have a weakness for the dark & twisted, they are love!