Hello! This is my first story in a while, but I hope that it gets better results than my first story, but I digress, this is the story where I put myself in as a supporting character… again. Here we go…

But before we go, in my story, academy graduation happens around 16, not 12. Just putting that out there. and we're off!

So, you want to hear a story, huh? One about… a ninja? Named Naruto? I could tell you story of two men, one woman, and a city full of mercenaries? No? Ah well, I tell you Naruto story, just not the one you think. It all started when big fox thingie was smashing up puny village…


Of course, nobody got the reference. Being a demon that could travel through dimensions meant that Kyuubi had seen a lot of things that no one else ever would.

"Crap, they aren't gonna let up," thought Kyuubi. "I hope that… oh, fuck, they brought the blondie dumbass? Sheeit, my ass is about to get se-"

-------Later, back at the Hokage tower--------

Sarutobi stood over the ceremonial crib holding the newly appointed Kyuubi Kontainer™, Naruto. The village kouncil council sat on the opposite side of the table and pondered what to do with the child. Finally, the vote was taken and the council decided that it would be best to end the life of the child, rather than spare it and risk the demon escaping. Naruto began crying as soon as this happened, as a result of the Kyuubi saying "SHIT! FUCK! LEMME OUT!"

Just as this happened, Orochimaru walked in looking all scary and shit, dragging a dude by the neck, like, dude, you gotta respect that level of badass.

Anyway, Snake dude walked in and started showing off how good a cobra commander he can be. "Ssssssssoooo, Sssssssarutobi Ssssensei, I ssssee that you have ressssssumed you position as hokage. Such a wasssste." "Um, why are you talking like that?" "I bit my tongue. Itssss a lithp. Lackey! Grab the child!"

A dark clothed ninja jumped in the window, threw a smoke bomb down, yelled "Booyakasha!" and jumped back out, taking Naruto with him. Sarutobi looked after them sadly. "I'm sorry Minato, I lost him…"

------------Hey hey hey time skip hey hey hey-------------

Four years later…

Naruto, four years old, was a very angry, sarcastic four year old, and a dangerous one, too.

With no one to stop him, Mizuki managed to get the secret scroll and bring it to Orochimaru, who then forced Naruto to learn from it. Naruto took about three minutes to learn one technique (I'll let you guys guess…) and then had him beat Mizuki to death with it.

When this happened, Naruto had a sort of "Red mist vision" thing, and really couldn't remember what he had done. Kyuubi thought that having Naruto get all angsty and depressing would suck, so he blotted that part of naruto's memory out.

Kyuubi also had a factor in Naruto's bad temper. Ever since he could remember, Naruto could hear the demon fox's voice, and a super-old demon fox is never the best thing to listen to 24/7.

"Alright, little shit, time for Kyuubi I-know-shit-that-you-don't time!"

"Not again…"

"Hey, Fuck you! I'm stuck in your dumb ass so I ain't got shit else to do!"

"Yeah, but you never SHUT UP!"

"Live with it, bitch."

So you see, as a person, Naruto ended up a fair degree of messed up in the head.

-----MC Timeskip in da haus!-----

At age twelve, Naruto went all Force Unleashed on Orochimaru and whupped his teacher's ass. Remember how good it felt in the first tekken game when you played as Kazuya and stomped Heihachi's face into the floor? That was what a lot of sound ninja felt like when Orochimaru was turned into pwnsauce by a group of Narutos. Orochimaru was a real ODB. (AN: Wu-Tang!)

After the horrendous beating delivered upon Severus Sna—um, Orochimaru, Kabuto stepped in as ruler of the sound village. (and he kinda ate the body. Ewwww.)He started sending Naruto on training missions to other countries and against other villages in an attempt to get Naruto killed. Fortunately, Naruto, with Kyuubi's help, managed to turn these suicide runs into training missions, seeking out teachers from the five countries. He found several teachers, with several fighting styles, but he preferred the flashy and brutal ones which perfectly fit the angry person that Naruto had become while still retaining his enthusiasm because he's fricking Naruto.

His teacher, while an accomplished taijutsu master, would be unable to teach him any ninjutsu or genjutsu. Naruto, as a rule, hated genjutsu simply because he liked people to know he was punching them. He knew this because his taijutsu teacher had enrolled him in several tournaments in several villages.

Once, as he returned from the mission Kabuto had assigned him, Naruto was greeted by a new face in the village. He wore dark brown cargo pants, a black shirt with a big picture of Buddha on it, and a black sweatjacket.

Suddenly, the author realized that he had not described Naruto's outfit, and corrected the error. Naruto wore a skintight dark navy t-shirt, a pair of black baggy cargo shorts, and brown boots. The shirt would occasionally sport a deep red Celtic pattern in the shape of a fox eye, but no one felt like commenting.

Naruto and Miles gradually became rivals, competing in taijutsu whenever they could, with Naruto winning most matches. The only time that they ever admitted to being friends was after Naruto returned from one of his "training" missions, this time to the leaf village.

--Tis a flashback during a flashback!—

Naruto had just come back from stealing an important scroll from the Hyuga mansion. It was supposed to contain the security patrol schedule for the following year. Unfortunately, Naruto had gone into the wrong room, been distracted by the scent of lavender, grabbed what was obviously not the patrol schedule, and fled.


--Back to the present—

"Damn, I messed up." Said Naruto.

Miles responded, "Look, man, this shit happens, and you just gotta muscle through."

"Wanna investigate the fruits of your fuckup?"

"Yeah! Let's see…"

The scroll that Naruto pulled out of the bag was quite obviously not an official document. It was a light purple, and smelled of the same scent of lavender that had distracted Naruto in the first place.

But that story shall come later.

------A few years later----

The sound village was not a nice place to be, even if you were a member. Of course, practically everyone in the village was either a street urchin, ex-con, or a mercenary, but they got along as well as they could.

Naruto Uzumaki was the exception. Having a friend in the village really seemed to help the young man's mindset. Naruto, now 16, and Miles, also 16, would talk, joke, and spar, (oh, god the repair bills…)

The other thing that got Naruto through each day was ramen. An old noodle maker by the name of Nichiraku (at least one of you has got to get this joke…) came to the village, and left a large supply of instant ramen in Naruto's hands.

Of course, "large supply", "in Naruto's hands"… that stuff didn't last long.

So, Naruto lived his life looking for the next bit of ramen he could get his hands on, and eventually became an official genin of the sound village. (He had heard that ninjas were high paid.)

Setting off to the dank, dingy room that served as a classroom, he started punching the wall, because there really was nothing else to do.


Miles had just finished beating up the wooden post that had insulted him, and realized that he needed to get back to the classroom to get his team assignments. Not hurrying at all, he grabbed his music player (it is the Sound village,) and headed off.

-Even further elsewhere-

Jiten Ashige jumped off the roof of a three story building, and landed fine.


Grinning to himself, he jogged off in the direction of the school, getting ready for his team.

Yo! So whadja think? Tell me for I must know! Please review and I will give shout outs! Hooray for acknowledgement!

Also, without Naruto there, team 7 is short a member. Anyone want to contribute an OC? I'd like them to be a taijutsu centric character, if possible. Thanks, y'all!

EDIT: this chapter has been revised.