Naruto: the other side CH 2
Just a warning to Y'all, this chapter is Miles-centric. I have never really described my narutoverse self, so this chapter will get you acquainted.
(AN: I use the word 'gay' a lot in this chapter. This has nothing to do with my opinion toward homosexuals, this is just the way that I/my friends talk.)
Miles was having a good day. There were no loud noises to wake him up, which explains his wake up time of about two in the afternoon.
After about ten to twenty minutes rolling around groaning, he got up, went to the fridge, and promptly forgot that his cognitive abilities are not up to par early in the day, and mistook his mountain dew for Kadomaru's spider-juice-crap-stuff.
"Bleagh! Blegagh! Augh! Thbthbthbthbthbhtbhtb! Sonomabitch!"
Well, that good day didn't last long.
After recovering from his coughing fit, Miles went to go check on his friend Connor. He opened the door to Connor's room and was met with a drunken cry of "-O HO HO AND A BOTTLE A RUM!"
It never took long for Connor to get drunk.
Quickly closing the door, Miles went on to check on his other friend, Aubrey. Aubrey, the sound village strategist, was sparring with Alex, the ninjutsu expert of the village.
This was a very strange fight. Both fighters were completely mirroring each other. Fist met fist, forehead met forehead, sole of foot met sole of foot, and it was getting pretty boring, until they both went for a bite at the same time.
"Dude, what the fuck was that?"
"Dammit Alex, yo gay ass!"
"You're the gay one! Everything is 'ass-gay-ass' with you!"
"Maybe, but I'm not ass gay ass you!"
"Yeah, man. Everything is a dick joke with you. 'ha ha ha, lemme pull out my dick!'"
"well, yeah, but you come back with 'lemme pull out my biggadick!'"
This conversation just took a turn for the gay…
Anyway, Miles's daily routine consisted of wandering around looking for something to do and watching more energetic people do things that he didn't.
This kind of lifestyle hardly befits a ninja. Miles looked at training like a spectator sport. Miles just spent all his time experimenting, which eventually turned into training. Unfortunately, miles only knew two jutsus. However, he had trained them and experimented so much, that he could do them better than anyone he knew.
Yes, badass factor goes to eleven.
----Back to the actual story-----
Naruto, Miles, and the other genin, Jiten, were at the Otokage tower, waiting for their first mission as a team. They had not had a 'survival' exercise, because Tayuya, the jonin in charge, had announced "if you die, too damn bad."
Anyway, the mission was to go and work for some businessman, Gato or something. Once they had found his money stores, they were to kill him, and take his money. Gathering their gear, the trio went to meet Tayuya at the gate.
"Okay, I didn't do this shit before, but you three need to play intro or whatever. Not my problem. Blondie first."
"I'm Naruto Uzumaki. I like Ramen, Training, and the smell of lavender. I'm gonna be, umm, I dunno!"
"Okay, that's faggot number one. Fatboy. Go."
"Sup, I'm Miles. I like reading, music, and disrespecting all sources of authority, so fuck off."
"Okay, fat faggot number 2, done. Short stuff, go."
"Jiten Ashige. I like to practice capoiera and integrate it with ninjutsu."
"Great. I'm Tayuya. I don't like this job. You can all go to hell. Let's get this over with."
After a little bit of walking, Miles started cracking jokes.
"ay, yo, check this out, my friend told me this… there's these three midgets, right? One with small hands, one with small feet, and one with a small dick." They go to that Guinness beer record place. Small hands comes out, says 'alright! I've got the smallest hands in the world!'. The one with small feet comes out and says 'sweet! I've got the smallest feet in the world!'. The one with the small dick says 'WHO THE FUCK IS NARUTO UZUMAKI!'
This resulted Miles getting smacked in the back of the head.
----------------later and somewhere else-------
"So, you four are the team that I have hired to kill the bridge builder. I hope that you don't disappoint me."
Miles responded with his usual "yeah, yeah, we got this…"
After receiving the information on the target, team Tayuya decided to follow the mist ninja that gato had hired as well, who were already en route to where the bridge builder was coming from.
Team 7, which as of now consisted of Sasuke, Sakura, and Asuka, was about to get their mission assignment.
"You three have completed your D-rank assignment and-"
Asuka spoke up, "Seeeenseeeeei, we wanna have a real mission! Pretty please!"
"Um, okay, I guess. Here's a C-rank for you. Come in, Tazuna."
Hey! Here is the awezmofoshizzle shoutout part!
Lala girl in lala land: This girl rocks the house! Third reviewer, and she gave me the character of Asuka.
P5yCH0: Great review. Unlike all the 50 or so people who read without reviewing. Grr.
The Konoha's Booze Hound: Funny review, and a storyalert! W00T!
If you didn't notice, 'Jiten Ashige' means 'spin kick' which is funny because he's a capoierista, and everything in capoiera is a spinning kick. Lol.