Author note: Written in my notepad while I was at Galadriel1010's this weekend (so much fun! Where else would I have perry and christmas cake for breakfast, and watched a chicken crossing the road?) and I only just finished typing it up. Hope you like it, or something to that effect, 'cause I'm not even sure how it makes me feel... Emotions, you fickle things, you.
Ianto watched raindrops ghost across the car window. Head tilted. Hands tucked in on either side of his chest. Settled in the driver's seat up front, Jack kept his eyes on the water slicked road.
Ianto watched the rain, and contemplated... Well, everything and nothing. Thoughts sleeted in and fleeted out.
Would it really be all that bad if he unclipped his seatbelt – silently, of course; perhaps the slightest and gentlest thunk – pressed down on the door handle and let himself fall out?
Out onto the motorway flashing by at whatever miles an hour.
Into the path of other cars. Let them decide his fate.
Would it be that much trouble if he just... let go?
"Why didn't you sit in the front?" said Jack. "Plenty of room, you know."
Ianto gave a noncommittal shrug, now far too aware of Jack's blue eyes searching for his in the rear-view mirror.
Jack said, "Shrugging isn't an answer. Don't make me come back there."
Ianto could hear the grin in his voice. He tucked his chin down; stared at his knees.
Jack turned his head sideways for a moment, trying to see. "You okay?"
After a pause, Jack said, "Okay."
And Ianto was tired. Just not in any way that a caffeinated beverage of choice or lengthy amount of sleep would fix. He breathed in through his nose, out through his mouth and listened to the rain tear down around them.
"Are you okay?"
It was a simple enough question. Simple enough to lie to, anyway. Bracing smile. "I said I was fine, Jack. Little tired is all."
The SUV pulled to a stop. Jack unbuckled his seatbelt and turned around. Ianto blinked at him. "Thought you were in a rush to get back."
"Yes. To have hot monkey sex. With you."
Ianto refused to roll his eyes. "And you do not wish to do so anymore?"
"Sure I do," said Jack. He tilted his head. "Tell me if you're okay first."
"Mm. Thought so."
"Damnit, Jack. Drive the car."
"No. Tell me what's wrong."
Ianto's chin lifted up. He felt his back straighten. "Nothing's wrong."
"Still not as good a liar as you think you are."
Ianto gifted him with a cool, unflinching stare.
"See?" said Jack.
"Turn around and drive, Jack."
"Okay. Fine." Ianto crossed his arms tighter across his chest. "I don't mind drowning in the lay-by."
Jack sighed and turned. Ianto watched him stare out of the front windscreen for several seconds, and he met Jack's eyes unwillingly in the reflection, glancing away even as Jack continued to test and stare.
Then Jack nodded, though whether to himself or to Ianto was anyone's guess.
Ianto didn't move as Jack got out of the SUV; not even when he slid onto the seat next to him. The corner of his eye twitched when the door slammed shut, though. Since they wouldn't behave, Ianto closed them both, forcing his senses to listen to the muted rain outside and the slow patter of water dripping from Jack's hair.
"Ianto," said Jack, and Ianto could feel the warm closeness of him.
He squeezed his eyes tighter shut.
A breath ghosted over Ianto's cheek, and Ianto opened his eyes to find Jack a hairs breadth away from his face.
"Jack?" he mumbled.
Ianto stared, not blinking. Jack's hands went for Ianto's arms, testing the grip Ianto held himself with, and Ianto let his arms go slack. Let Jack unbuckle his seatbelt. Let Jack pull him into something resembling an embrace.
But even with Jack nuzzling into his neck and his chin resting on Jack's shoulder, Ianto couldn't let himself relax.
Jack tensed and drew back, and Ianto continued to stare dully, not really seeing anything.
"Hey," said Jack, eyebrows creasing a little in the centre. Ianto itched to brush the frown away. Stopped himself. "Hey," Jack said again.
"Hey, look at me."
"I am looking at you."
Jack caught Ianto's face in both hands. "Look at me," he said, even as Ianto cast his eyes down. "Not that bad a sight, am I?"
"You're fine, Jack."
"Ianto, please look up? You're scaring me a little here."
He'd meant it to be light-hearted, casual, joking – Ianto looked up when Jack's voice wobbled. "Don't you start, Jack bloody Harkness. One morose person is quite enough for this car, thank you very much."
"Then tell me what's wrong."
"Nothing's wrong. I just—"
"Terrible liar," said Jack, cutting him off and kissing the tip of his nose. "Absolutely terrible."
Ianto practically hooted his next words. "I am not!"
"Ah!" said Jack. "Emotion! Never thought I'd see the day."
Ianto moved to hit the side of his head; Jack's sweet smile stilled his hand, and he cradled Jack's cheek instead, just like Jack was with his. They rested their foreheads together, the sound of their breathing only just hidden beneath the continued rain noises.
Wry chuckle. "You don't have to ask."
"I rather think I do."
A pause, measured by heartbeats and echoed metal pattering, and then Ianto pressed his lips to Jack's, finding that familiar dry, soft warmth.
Just the dry warmth.
"Kissing only works if you kiss me back," Ianto observed.
Jack rubbed at Ianto's ears. Ianto let him.
Another pause, more palpable, more filled with words unsaid and unspoken. Jack wound one hand around the back of Ianto's neck, tickling his hairline, and the other slid down to the small of his spine. Ianto closed his eyes, trying to lose himself in the contact.
"No." Jack's voice was soft yet unforgiving. "Look at me, Ianto."
"I'm looking," said Ianto, a smile flitting across his face. "Trust me."
Jack rolled up onto one knee – ducking his head so as to not hit the roof – and leaned in, pressing Ianto back and down. Ianto's head hit the window with a dull thud.
"Ow," he whispered.
"Sorry," said Jack, just as hushed.
"No problem..." Ianto was trying his best not to laugh. Biting his lip. Sucking at his cheeks. Eyes twinkling in the half light. Jack felt something flutter in his chest. He leaned down again, gentler this time, and pressed light kisses to Ianto's cheekbones, pausing just under Ianto's flickering eyelids. "You're looking at me, yeah?"
"Yeah," said Ianto. He closed his eyes again. Smiled softly.
The corner of Jack's mouth twitched. "You like what you see?"
Ianto shifted forward, closing the space between them until the whisper of cloth against cloth added itself to the pattering hush. He found Jack's mouth after several false starts. Gave him a tentative kiss. "Always have done."
And Ianto let Jack kiss down the side of his neck. Let him lick and bite and nibble till Ianto gasped, torn from that muted safety the inside of his eyelids produced. Let Jack slowly strip off the half sodden coat and the sweat stiffened shirt. Let him whip him up into a frenzy, all stifled whispers and searching hands; the best mix of gentle warmth and warm gentleness.
The rain beat down outside, obscuring them from view of the speeding world, hiding the sudden gasps and the bitten-back moans.
And Ianto let himself fall into Jack.