Disclaimer: I don't own anything apart from the plot :)
The boulder I was currently sat on felt hard and damp and did nothing to help my depleting confidence in returning to the Cullens.
A quick glance up at my brother opposite me showed that he still had no intention of speaking. We had been sat out here in the wilderness for at least five hours now, with no one speaking. To be honest it was getting on my nerves now.
If he wanted to tell me he had a new life and I had no part in it anymore, why didn't he just get it over with?
I could feel my anger and nerves bubbling to a climax.
A throat clearing brought me out of my inner musings, and I looked up in surprise to see a sheepish Jasper rubbing the back of his neck as he contemplated what to say.
"I guess sorry just doesn't cover it, huh?" he murmured looking across at me regretfully.
I could feel the confusion and surprise in my system, what was he apologizing for?
"I broke my promise Bells. I didn't mean to I swear…it's just that when I was changed I couldn't risk coming back to see you. It would have killed me if I came back and couldn't control myself around you"
"So you couldn't even pick up a pen and write me a letter then?" I exclaimed my anger taking over.
"I guess I should start from the beginning" he sighed.
"When Maria changed me, she made it physically and mentally impossible for me to have any contact with anyone outside the wars and the army she was creating. Over time I am sad to say my role consumed me…I became used to my job. She gave me the newborns, I trained them and then she set them free to fight for her."
He looked down ashamed.
"…One night she asked me to terminate a newborn, apparently he wasn't…co-operating to her standards, I was used to her orders by then and agreed but when I saw who she wanted me to destroy I couldn't. He was only a child, barely fifteen…I felt so weak that night. I let him go and took one of the newborns that was already dead and burned the body telling Maria it was the boy."
Even though I was angry at my brother, he was still my own flesh and blood and my heart went out to him. I edged off the boulder I was on and made my way silently across to him holding his hand between my own.
He looked up at me smiling gratefully and squeezed my hand back thankfully.
"I had to admit hearing you talk about Peter and Charlotte taking you, made me feel a lot better" he admitted after a few minutes of silence.
I looked at him confused. Again.
I didn't like being confused, and he knew that as he smirked when he felt my confusion.
"Peter and Charlotte were the two people I took with me when I escaped" he said smirking again when I gasped.
"Yes, when I was changed Peter became a brother of some sorts to me and we grew close, and when I realized that Maria was wrong and that I was going to escape I knew that I couldn't leave them behind".
Silence descended upon us again.
I finally knew now why Jasper didn't come back and some part of me finally felt relieved and glad that I could finally put that betrayal behind me.
Although the dark thoughts still lingered in the back of my mind and the question still remained; did Jasper still want me to be around or has he moved on?
I opened my mouth to ask him but no sound came out, the nerves that had been brewing deep in my belly had bubbled up into my throat rendering me speechless.
Jasper looked over at me, one eyebrow cocked waiting for me to speak.
"I…erm I well…I was-um…wondering if…if you still wanted me to…um stick around?" I questioned hesitantly.
He looked at me shocked his eyes widening in horror.
My shoulders slumped; he was obviously horrified at the prospect of me sticking around ruining his new life. I tried to shake off the hurt but it stung too deep.
I could feel the familiar burning behind my eyes indicating that if I was still human I would be crying, I knew I should have said goodbye to the Cullens before I came. I don't think I could handle going back to say goodbye to have to leave again.
I slipped off the boulder feeling somewhat heavier then when I'd arrived, meanwhile in the back of my mind I was making contingency plans I could go back to stay with Peter and Charlotte for a while…but I would probably cramp their style and they needed some time on their own.
…so I guess I was going to be flying solo then. Alone. Again.
I looked up at Jasper who hadn't moved or said anything to stop me since I'd spoken…so I guess it's goodbye then.
"Tell Esme and the rest of the Cullens thank you for their hospitality" I managed to choke out before turning on my heel and sprinting away into the darkness and the loneliness that I would have to become accustomed to again.
"WAIT!" I heard Jasper's voice call out desperately behind me.
My steps faltered just enough for Jasper to catch up to me and gather me up in his arms his body shaking with what seemed like…sobs?
The desperate keening sounds coming from his made me look up at him concerned and worried about him, was he in pain?
"No, please no" He murmured over and over again, his grip on me tightening.
I slipped my hand out from his embrace and soothingly scratched his hair trying to calm him like I used to when we were younger.
Eventually after some time, his breathing evened out and his grip on me loosened, but his head stayed resting between the junction at my neck and shoulder.
His voice sounded weak and gravelly when he finally spoke.
"Please Bells…please don't leave. I don't think I could take being apart from you again. I love you" he whispered brokenly staring up at me with heartbroken eyes.
My heart swelled with hope as I continued to look at him.
"So, that means you want me to stay?" I whispered hesitantly, not getting my hopes up too high.
"Yes!" he chuckled amused, grinning at me and I couldn't help but smile back.
"So what do you say to going back now, I'm sure their all worried about us" he grinned and I grinned too with the way he spoke insinuating that the family would be worried about me as well.
He let go of me until it was just our hands swinging between us as we walked back towards the Cullen household.
I was practically skipping I was that happy, I had a family again; I wouldn't have to be alone!
Jasper looked down at me smiling affectionately, my happy mood obviously catching on.
I stopped Jasper when we were a few hundred meters away from the Cullen house, and he looked down at me confused at my sudden stop.
I smiled at him reassuringly.
"I forgive you Jasper"
His smile was instantaneous, and lit up his whole face, as he reached down and picked me up twirling me round like we used to when we were younger.
He was laughing and I was giggling loudly and for the first time in a very, very long time I was finally happy.
Hi Guys, remember me?
I know it's been a while since I've updated, but Happy New Year guys :)
And hopefully the updates will be coming quicker