«…Chris?» she asked, suddenly not so sure anymore of whose voice was that.
Chris. She had never thought about him as a possible friend. She had always thought about him as "one of the group", but never realized he was a full person with a heart and all the rest. She had never even thought about him as a single person, and not as Doug's twin brother (same for Doug, anyway).
«What are you doin' here? I mean, it's late night.»
He remained silent for some second, and sat down, next to Cassie.
«I come here almost every night. When I feel… You know, when…» - he didn't finish the sentence. To Cassie, it seemed that Chris didn't want to think about it. «Well Cassie, why are you here?»
That's not fair, she found herself thinking.
«I asked first.»
«You're right» answered Chris, with a little smile on his lips. «I come here almost every night. When I miss her too much.»
Cassie was about to ask some more detail, like her? Who?, but she understood what Chris was trying to say. He was talking about Kori. His little sister, murdered just because "she wasn't planned". It's my fault, she suddenly thought. It's my entire fault. If I weren't born, she wouldn't have died.
«Oh. I'm so sorry, Chris. I know how much you loved her…»
«I'm quite… I'm getting used to it. Missing her, I mean. It's just that… I can't sleep at night. But I'm alright.»
«Can I do anything for you?» Cassie asked. She felt useless. She wanted to help him. He was such a good person, when he wasn't punching anyone. He didn't deserve feeling that bad.
«Don't even try. There's nothing. Your turn.»
«I have problems with Adam. And he doesn't even know.»
«I guess I won.»
«My problem is bigger!» he chuckled. Making fun of it was the only way to feel in the mood for a smile. And he wanted to smile.
Cassie looked at him, trying to analyze his mood. He seemed older than the first time she met him. Way older. He had passed through hard times: his sister's death, the fight against Black John. I want him to feel better, she thought, he deserves it. Everyone deserves it. When I first came here, I made these guys' lives too much complicated, now they need to feel better.
But, how? She about to leave Adam, and make three people feel awfully (Adam, at first. And after him, Diana and Nick).
«Yes. My point is, I want you all to feel good. I want the coven to be happy. And I'm only going to leave Adam alone, make Diana feel like a shit because she trusted me and making Nick think I'm a bitch just because I left him for a guy that in a month I suddenly don't like anymore. It's crap.»
«Cassie? You know that we all love you, right? Nobody is going to feel like shit or think you're a bitch. You're pretty nice to everyone here. There's nothing more you can do. Doug and I have lost our little sister, but you can't make her come back from death. And Nick loves you even if you're leaving Adam, Faye hates you but there's nothing you can do, Diana treats you as if you were her sister, and nothing's gonna make it change, Adam will be sad for a while but then he'll get back with Diana and they'll both be happy and same for Mel and Debs and Laurel and Suze, ok? Let's stop pretending to be some sort of evil and smile again.»
Wow. Cassie turned her head, and looked at him. Wonderful speech, thank you, every part of her body was yelling. She felt the urge to hug him. And kiss him.