"My Body Is Your Wonderland"

A Smutty One-Shot

"Hermione, aren't you ready yet!"

Bloody impatient, he was. They'd been dating for years now. You'd think he'd be used to how long it took her to get ready to go out anywhere.

"Almost, Ronald!" she called back to him.

"It's just me, not like you've got to impress anyone…" she heard him grumble.

"I heard that!" she called. Huffing, she looked back at herself in the mirror as she curled her eyelashes. Just a touch of mascara and she'd be done.

"Very impressive, madam," said her bathroom mirror as Hermione admired herself. She smiled in return and stepped out of the bathroom into the master bedroom.

"Though perhaps a tad fancy for a pub!" her mirror shouted after her as she closed the bedroom door behind her. She ignored the mirror's words. She knew she had gone a little over the top, but you never knew who you might run into….

"Sweet Merlin…" she heard Ron breathe when she appeared at the top of the stairs. She smirked at him as she walked slowly down the stairs, teasing him with every step. She watched as his eyes slowly took her in, from her perfectly set long wavy locks, to her shadowy eye makeup, to her bare porcelain neck and exposed collarbones showing over the top of her glittering black one-shoulder top, to the inch of toned tummy it showed off, to the low riding black denim mini skirt, right down her perfectly smooth pale legs to the stiletto black sandals she was wearing.

"That sight was worth every last moment you kept me waiting," he said as she stood in front of him. Even with the high heels, she was still shorter than he was. "You look stunning, Hermione."

"Thank you. You don't look too bad yourself," she said, giving him a once over and noting his white button-down shirt with a loosely done black tie paired with the dark denim designer jeans she had gotten him for his birthday. He smiled in reply.

"Shall we?" he said, offering her his arm.

"Certainly," she replied, taking his arm and feeling herself being pulled into Apparition as she disappeared from their foyer.

A moment later they both appeared in the warm summer air in front of The Bloody Dragon, a pub on the south side of London that catered to a more adult crowd, unlike the Three Broomsticks in Hogsmeade. Ron held open the door for Hermione and then followed her inside. Neither was oblivious to the many looks the pair of them were getting, and Ron pulled Hermione a little closer to him as they were led to a table. No sooner had they sat down than Hermione noticed a familiar face at the bar.

"Ron, is that Harry?" she asked, pointing to a lone figure cradling a firewhiskey.

"I do believe it is…" Ron affirmed.

"He looks upset… I'm going to go see what's wrong…" and before Ron could object, Hermione was already heading Harry's way.

"Harry?" she asked, once she was beside him. He looked up at her with hollow eyes.

"Hermione…" he said.

"Harry, what's happened to you?"

He took his shot of whiskey in reply.


"I really don't want to get into it, Hermione. I'm just having a bad week. What brings you here?" But he looked past her and saw Ron watching them.

"Ah. Date with Ron?"

She nodded. She knew they were both thinking about the same thing. Back when she and Ron first starting dating… she and Harry had found themselves alone… things had happened, they'd had sex, and they'd come back for more repeatedly. It had gone on for months before Hermione had put a stop to it. She felt too guilty, and she was scared of ruining their friendship. Harry had reluctantly agreed… but he and Ron had never really acted the same around each other since. Hermione had constantly wondered if it was just the sex Harry missed, or more.

"Well, I'll leave you be, then," she said, forcing a smile. "Good luck figuring things out, Harry."

"Thanks," he said, meeting her eyes briefly before she returned to her table.

"Everything all right?" Ron asked her. She knew he was only half concerned.

"He didn't elaborate. Just said he was having a bad week."


Hermione attempted to melt the frost that Harry's appearance had caused in the half hour that passed while she and Ron ordered and ate their food. She had succeeded, she thought, before Ron started trouble again.

"That bloke at the table across the room keeps eyeing you up," he blurted out.

"I'm not surprised. His girlfriend won't stop looking at you."

"What?" Ron gasped, turning and looking. Sure enough their eyes met and the girl looked away hurriedly.

"Told you."

"But it bugs me! All these guys looking at you…" he trailed off.

"You should take it as a compliment. They want what's yours."

"Yeah but they're not allowed to have it!"

"Of course they aren't. What makes you think they'd even have a chance?" she demanded.

"Well when you dress like that I can't help but to wonder what your intentions are!"

"Ron, I don't believe you!" she hissed. "How could you say that? I dress like this for you, and for myself. To remind you of what you have, and to make myself feel sexy."

"I know what I have! And I tell you how sexy you are all the time!"

"It's different…"

"How? Come on, out with it. Who are you dressing for, if I already know what I have!"

"You're despicable, Ron," Hermione spat. She stood up and walked briskly away from the table and out the door for some fresh air. Unfortunately, as soon as she got outside and took a deep breath in through her nose, all she got was cigar smoke. Coughing and sputtering, she looked up to see the source was Harry, leaning against the side of the building and smoking a cigar. She knew he only smoked cigars when he was really stressed… and she also knew that he knew that the smell of cigar smoke was a severe turn on for her.

"Okay, out with it. You're smoking. What's wrong?" she demanded.

"I told you, I don't want to talk about it. But I'd like to ask you the same question. Usually those on romantic dates don't come storming out of the front door in a tizzy."

"Yeah, well, it turned a little less romantic than I'd have liked."

"Care to share?" asked Harry, tapping the ash off the end of his cigar and looking at her.

"Ron is under the impression I dress the way I do to get the attention of other men."

Harry merely raised his eyebrows slightly and gave her a once-over.

"Can't say I blame him. You look very tempting."

"You're not helping."

"What? I'm just being honest. I mean really, Hermione. Any guy would kill to have you on his arm dressed the way you are, but it does make us wonder why you would dress to purposely tease other men?"

Hermione faltered.

"Well, I… I mean, knowing that… seeing other guys want me… it's flattering, okay?" She huffed and leaned her back against the building next to Harry. "I mean, I'm sure girls look at you all the time and you get the same high off of it…" She glanced over at his black dress shirt casually untucked from his black dockers. He looked messily sexy.

"Hermione, I'm the boy who lived. The Chosen One. I'm supposedly the greatest wizard since Dumbledore himself. No offense, but I'm used to being stared at, and it hardly gives me a high." He stared straight ahead as he spoke.

Hermione was shocked at her own tactlessness.

"Harry… I'm sorry…"

"It's okay, Hermione. You're irritated, and you weren't thinking."

There was a stony silence for a few minutes.

"You really do look positively ravishing, you know."

"Thanks…" she said quietly. She didn't notice him creeping closer.

"Very, very tempting…"

When she looked up, his face was inches from hers. She smelled his cologne combining with the cigar smoke, felt his breath on her lips…

"As are you…" she breathed. She met his emerald eyes with her chocolate ones and was immediately swept back to those days years ago… the days of stolen kisses and hot blooded passion…

She wanted him.


"Come with me," she said abruptly, and grabbed his hand. He didn't protest, merely followed her as she led him to a side door that led into the back half of the pub, where the water closets were. After a half second's glance into the men's, she pulled him in, slammed the door behind them, and flicked her wand at the handle. Though there was no lock, a distinct click sounded through the room that told them both they would remain unbothered. He looked down at her and she saw the same desire in his eyes that she knew was in hers.

"I hope you put a silencing charm on that door, too…" he whispered. She smirked and nodded.

"No one could find us even if they wanted to," she breathed.

"Excellent," he growled, and leaned down and captured her lips in his. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed back fiercely. How she had missed his kisses… so rough, so deep, so passionate… She purred as she felt his nails clawing into her back and she tugged at his messy hair in return.

"Mmmm, Harry…" she gasped as his mouth travelled down her jawbone to suck on her neck and collarbones. He pushed her against the nearest stall as his mouth worked its magic, trailing his tongue down as far as her shirt would let him and then getting down on his knees, kissing her strip of exposed stomach and dipping his tongue in her belly button before pushing at the hem of her skirt, sliding it up until her black lace thong was exposed.

"Oh, sexy outside and underneath, eh?" he asked. He didn't give her a chance to reply before he stood back up, easily lifted her off the floor and sat her on the edge of the sink. In a second he was back on his knees.

"Spread," he commanded. She obeyed and slowly spread her knees, and he wasted no time before pulling her thin panties to the side and delving his tongue into her crevice.

"Ohh, Harry!" she moaned, throwing her head back and gripping the sides of the sink to keep herself from falling. His tongue felt amazing… he wasted no time, he positively devoured her. First with those long licks she loved, and then pushing his tongue as deep inside her as he could, searching for the ever evasive G-spot… once he found it his drove his tongue onto her, hitting it again and again (oh how she had always loved his long tongue…) before pulling it out and finding her clit and sucking on it as hard as he could. She loved it rough, she always had, and she couldn't stop herself from yelling when two of his fingers drove deep inside her while he sucked on her.

"Harry!! Oh, Merlin, Harry… Oh yes…" he got faster and faster, and she knew she was about to come, she could feel it building up…

And then he stopped. And she whimpered. He stood up and put his mouth next to hers. She could smell her juices on his lips as he spoke.

"We can't let you have all the fun now can we?" he whispered, and then he pressed his mouth to hers. She kissed him back greedily, licking the taste off his lips and drinking it out of his mouth. He pulled away before she was done.

"Suck my cock, and then I'll fuck you until you scream…" he breathed into her ear. She gasped as he pulled her down off the sink and forced her on her knees, putting her at eye-level with the zipper of his dockers. With eager fingers, she unbuttoned and unzipped them, pulling out his rock hard cock. She had always known Harry was bigger than average, but after a couple of years of just average-sized Ron, she had forgotten just how big Harry was.

"Mmm, Harry…" she sighed appreciatively.

"Suck it," he demanded. All too happy to oblige, Hermione took him deep into her mouth and listened as he moaned. Once, twice, three times, she slid her mouth all the way up and all the way down him, getting faster each time, before she started massaging the lower half of him with her hand in rhythm with her mouth sucking on the tip.

"Oh, fuck yeah, Hermione…" he moaned, and she got faster in reply, using her tongue to lick him all over and drive him crazy. She knew he loved the feeling of her hot, wet mouth around him, so she was surprised when he stopped her.

"I can't take it. I need to be inside you," he said desperately, lifting her back up so she was sitting on the sink. She spread her legs without being asked this time and he pulled her panties aside again and held her legs in the air and watched as he slipped inside her. A brief pause where they both reveled in the feeling of each other, and then all restraint disappeared.

"Ohh, Harry..." she moaned as she thrust into her again, and again, and again… His only reply was to thrust faster until he was pounding into her, grunting and moaning at the sensations she was giving him.

"God Hermione you feel so good… you're so tight…"

"Oh Harry, you feel good too… I love your cock…"

"Damn straight," he replied, and pulled out of her and flipped her around so she was facing the mirror over the sink. "I want you to watch…" he growled, and he plowed into her again from behind. This time he was hitting her G-spot and he knew it… her moans were turning into yelps and gasps.

"You like that, Hermione?" he demanded.

"Yes! Yes! Oh, fuck, yes!" she cried, watching her own expression of ecstasy in the mirror as she felt him go deeper and deeper inside her.

"I want you to come…" he said, and she felt his hand come around to her front and suddenly his fingers were rubbing her clit fiercely in rhythm with his thrusts.

She screamed.

Over, and over, and over again.

"Harry! Harry!! Yes! Yes! YES! Ohhh, God…!"

"You gonna come?" he asked breathlessly.

"Yes, yes, I'm close—oh, Harry! Oh God! Yes! YES!" She felt him get even faster, felt his hands get even rougher, and it sent her over the edge… she knew he could feel her walls tightening around him as she came long and hard, screaming his name all the while… And suddenly she realized her screams were mingled with his.

"Ohhh, Hermione, fuck! Yeah, oh yeah…"

She could feel him vibrating, feel as he spilled his seed inside her, feel him as he plowed into her even deeper, grabbing onto her hips for support as he came. When they were both finished, they were left precariously perched on the sink, each breathing heavily and sweat glistening on their still fully clothed bodies.

"That… was… amazing…" Harry managed to say, and he slowly pulled out of her.

"Agreed," Hermione breathed, slowly standing up straight and adjusting her clothes. A couple of quick spells to both of them and they looked just as fresh as they had when they entered the loo.

"And that, my dear, is why you should not dress the way you do," Harry stated.

"Oh, but it was worth every second," Hermione purred, stepping in close to him and pulling him into another kiss.

"Mmm, again?" said Harry when they broke the kiss.

"My body is your wonderland…" she whispered, smirking.

"I'll take that as a yes," he replied, and kissed her again.