A/N: This is really not something I would normally do, but just for the heck of it, here it is. Based on the battle scenes in the trailer. May very well turn out to be completely inaccurate, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

At Least We're Not Damp

She can't believe it. He's singing. Here it is, the end of everything, and he's singing. They could die any minute (do people die, in this world? This Wonderland? How long have they been hanging on, anyway? and if she was here before, and they were here before, are they only as old as she? or ancient?) and the Hatter is singing.

And what is he singing?

"There's wind in the air,
There's mice in my hair,
There's rain on the rise
---did I mention the mice?"

"What?" says Alice, irritably.

He reaches up fastidiously to primp his impossible eyebrows, and starts elsewhere in the song. Same tune, different words.

"There's a war on the ridge
But there's beer in the fridge
We're licked as a stamp
But at least we're not damp!"

"What?" says Alice again, stomping her foot on the soft dirt of the battlefield. The Hatter chuckles to himself.

"Cheer up, my dear," he says in that curious lisp, edges of his mouth tucked in close together. "Things could be a lot worse, after all. It could be raini---"

An ominous peal of thunder. Alice turns slowly from the sky to look at him. She points at him with an accusatory finger.

"If I catch cold," she says stonily, "it's your fault."